Thumbs up and Thumbs down People

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to make any personal attacks on any one. Hence, no names have been taken. Please refrain from getting personal.

I had done a post (  And we Expect a Change in our society- Not a wordless wednesday) a few months ago on a similar discussion , A comment I had placed on an article,  I got a great reaction then and It seems I have let myself into another one again 🙂 , I never know when to shut up..

do I ?  he he he 🙂

I have a similar reaction to put today too, There is an article where a lady is wanting to take some advice from people about her relation with her in-laws. The context is about how she has a problem with her hubby intending to move back from USA to India because of his parents.

Now the content of the article or the email is Not what I want to discuss..

It’s what I wrote as a reply to the article and the  reactions that comment generated  that I am more interested in ..

So now you know what is the base. This is what I wrote ..

Dear ABC.. . I am sorry but you shud be discussing this with your Hubby and not with strangers ..

How can me or anyone else give you advice since we dont know you, or your hubby or your family.. how can someone anyone do that.. you will get a lot of advice here by lots of people but remember much of that advice is from people who have not been in the same situation as you.. and even if some have been in the same situation then Their in laws or their hubby is not exactly same as yours ..

so talk to your hubby , tell him your apprehensions I am sure things can work out for sure .. Talking always helps .. All the best and god bless

Thumbs UP 9  Thumbs Down 39

Right then lets get into statistics 🙂 .. I am bad in maths so pardon me if I have calculated wrong .. 🙂  There are 39 people who think my advice to the lady to discuss it with her husband is wrong compared to 9 ..  that is just  18.75%,    81.25%  which in this case means MAJORITY of the people think  resolution of an issue between a couple through mutual discussion is no good,  so assuming talking is no good .. WHAT IS GOOD THEN.. parting ways, separating , divorce ..  NOW don’t you think that is a high number of people who think that way ..

The above conversation has had a few comments as a reply too .. and knowing me since I love to argue my points .. it has become a Fascinating read,   I am not copy-pasting other bloggers’ replies to my comments as I have not taken permissions from them and I don’t have the right to copy-paste as such…. HENCE I have just pasted one of mine ..  what is worrying, well – at least for me is that the number of Thumbs down to the subsequent replies is increasing day by day .. so that 81.25% people I am talking of is ACTUALLY MAY BE HIGHER in percentage..  because the kind souls who gave my comments a thumbs up have slowly given up bothering to the subsequent replies.. I guess they just read  shook their heads and moved on  🙂

Another funny thing is ,  I asked a question later on in the chain of replies as to what is wrong if the hubby wants to go back home to stay with his parents..   (Oh boy , you got to see the reaction to that one .. Thumbs UP 3   Thumbs Down 23 )   it is about 12% in my favour ONLY 🙂 I wonder, does no one think like me?  Something strange..!! Are all the men out there ready to leave their parents and stay away from them, and are all the women out there ready to make their husbands stay away from their parents?

Instead of a reply I was asked what if SHE wants to live with her parents ..  Now again the question comes.. is it  just because I said or asked the question from a MAN’s point of view I got the reactions .. (just for recording purpose the counter question got Thumbs UP 15    Thumbs Down 2) thank god there were 2 who felt as I did 🙂  Phew I thought I was alone again .. Well, to that, if she wants to live with her parents, and if he is willing, then why not? This is an entire discussion in itself – and is a digression to the topic in hand. There are a lot of men who have been brave enough to take on the responsibility of their in-laws and kudos to them – but our always-glorifying-society-which-wants-to-make-a-difference categorises such brave men as “ghar jamai”.

If I had again said something or done some man bashing I probably would have got a better reaction .. and How can a Counter question to a Question be the RIGHT ANSWER.. which gets societies approval …    according to statistics is again approx 88%..

There are again 88% people out there who think instead of replying if we counter question and especially bring the GENDER in the equation to DILUTE the topic in hand, is the right way to solve a problem ?

What do you think people.. Do you feel the same way as I do, OR am I completely off my nuts as usual ?   (I know I asked this question in a post earlier and all of you said I was not , maybe you would want to change your thought now) 🙂

I would love to hear your views on this , What do you take from the above reactions to my comments in context to the Thumbs up and thumbs down.. Thumbs down I take as people not agreeing with me and saying I have written something wrong

How do we expect to change the society when the people who are thinking like this are in great numbers , I wonder what they do behind closed doors of their house  I said house because clearly it cant be a HOME .. if they react the same in their own place .…  I don’t think things can change if such mentality exists …  It is clearly cleaning dirty linen in public and is something I do not subscribe to, especially when it comes to sensitive issues such as those faced by couples/families.

SO I WANT TO ASK  ALL those who pressed the thumbs down .. Because I know many of the visitors on that blog also visit my blog tooo ..  what is the problem ?  Why are we not able to make healthy discussions and why do we have to keep putting each other down, without considering the point of view of a person in a fair and just manner, in a manner that doesn’t reflect undue prejudice?

Is It

1. My Face

2. Me being a male commentator… 

3. I did not do any man bashing

4. Or some other hidden agenda..  🙂 

And we the people of our nation think that we can make a difference … SERIOUSLY

Maybe I live in a ideal world .. But I think in my own heart that till we have lived it all, and tried all avenues , its never a right decision to break a relation, but I guess its too much to ask from anyone .

PS:- The figures I have quoted were right till 10:51AM of october 30th 2012 , UK time..  I just picked the figures before i was going to publish the post.. so please dont shoot me if the figures are not right ..

conversations- blogging – commenting

I was having this interesting conversation with a friend of mine, when the topic of Blogging came up specially Commenting.

A couple of interesting views came up

1.  I was asked how come I go and comment on a lot of blogs, even when it is seen that they probably never visit me or if they visit they don’t put a comment or even reply back to the comments I make.

Well I am sure I have replied to that umpteen times, I guess its in my habit (right or wrong) I don’t know , I always have something to say which sometimes has put me in trouble too.  I also feel that since the author has taken the time to write what they have written, maybe it will be good if we also read what they have written and give our two cents worth of view.

I am sure like I feel happy to see all the comments pouring in they too would feel good.

Although I must say I try my best not to write two-word comments as I think there is this culture in blogosphere that you comment on mine only then I will comment on yours, Which I have recently understood. I am sure a lot of people have written about this phenomenon a lot many times.

So Now I think I will have to change the way I look at this place too.

2. Indiblogger and Voting :-

On Indiblogger there is a forum called indivine where We can put our latest post . The people in your group then can come and Read it,  Now all this is fine but I have always had this problem with Indiblogger on the voting phenomenon.

I have been involved in a few nasty discussions too over time , But I can’t understand this VOTE thing.  What is it for.

Although to vote one has to open the post,  yet in my eyes if  as a reader I have opened the post then I should read the post fully, Why bother voting if  you don’t read the post.   It takes a lot of marketing skills to get lots and lots of votes.

I have realised that most just press the button again quickly to vote, hoping others will come to vote too. I don’t particularly like that idea as again I doubt if all who are pressing the VOTE button actually Read what one has written.

In my eyes I would much prefer people to come over , at least read what one has written and yes also let me know if they have liked or disliked ,they agree with what I have written or not agree, If people don’t tell that then how is one going to learn. How can one learn that they are doing a mistake, till someone points it too.

Blogging world has become a lot like attention seeking sorts.  This voting process seems more of getting a hit or traffic on your blog.

I am not the one to shy away from saying yeah I put my article up there , So people in my group know I have posted a new post. I am lucky many of the people do come and read what I have written which is a good feeling.

3. How come MEN or the male species don’t comment in that number on  blogs written by other Men compared to those written by the lovely ladies.

I had not noticed this until recently, It was pointed out by this good friend.  I did not know what to say . So I thought about asking everyone who visit here and read what all junk I write about, what is the reason.

I in no way am saying I don’t want the pleasure of the company of beautiful lovely people who already come , But why is it that the male version who I definitely see at almost every other blog written by ladies and whose blogs I do sometimes comment on , Not comment on this blog 🙂 .

Is it some sort of man thing , which I am not getting. Because I visit blogs irrespective if they are written by a woman or a man, would be fun to know the reply to that one . I think there is a Gender Bias in blogging too, I dont want to give examples and embarrass people but I have seen it happen.

What do you think people.. Do you feel the same way as I do, OR am I completely off my nuts as usual ?

Does it matter to you who visits your blog ?

Does it make you feel bad if people don’t read what you have written but just comment for the sake of it .. Or press the Like button. 

Do you feel bad when you see people whose blog you have commented,  they don’t even reply to you and WORSE still they Reply to every other comment but yours on their blog.. 

What do you do,  Do you stop going to those blogs.  ?

You can tell me that I am just being a moron 🙂

Satyamev jayate 3:- My thoughts:-Dowry, Women, Men, India..

Well The third episode comes with another problem that we as a nation face and it is such a menace, which is faced yet again by everyone, each family faces it no matter what , if they are parents to a Boy or a girl.. this ritual comes to the fore always ..

But I loved the message in the End given by Mr. Amir khan to the men of the nation , What sort of men are we .. Is this what being a MAN is begging for something from someone else , that does not make us men it makes us beggars.

Another point that came out of the episode and which I keep yacking and harping about is again A women being an enemy of a woman, The mother in law asking this or that , In the first case that was shown The mother-in-law knew how his son was treating the daughter in law , yet she did not say anything Rather she was calling up the Girls father to give more, I mean WHY.. Did she go through the same when she got married and came to the family..

Usually when we go through a bad time, or a bad scenario we ( I say we as in normal people), try to warn others not to do the same mistake,  If there is a road where we were robbed , we tell everyone oh don’t go on that road , this might happen or that might happen..   We have a problem and go to a person who takes some money to help us , We generally tend to tell people either good about this person who has helped us or bad , as they took money..   The point that I am trying to make is WE speak of the situation .. SO WHY DOES A MOTHER-IN-LAW who has gone through the same DOWRY problem in the Family NOT speak out to save another person from the same humiliation.  OR is that they think ooooh Revenge TIME.. now its her chance to get back , Since she can’t do anything to her husband or the family , she does the next best thing , to humiliate the new girl who is brought into the family.

I can understand people saying men are bad, society is bad , men do this , men have made life bad for women , Men are the root cause of all problems in one way or the other, But what about the Mother-in-law who is a woman..  Sometimes when I think its just makes me mad, We all say MOTHER is next to god, I say it all the time THEN how come the same mother becomes a devil for the newly married girl who has come in the family.

Today I had a problem with the episode and I Found something not so right, WHY WERE THE FACES OF THE MAN HIDDEN... I mean they are showing the faces of the ladies who have gone through hell, but hidden the face of the bridegroom, I think ,I Wish  and HOPED that the Faces of these MEN should be splashed everywhere, The photo shown was that of the wedding day THEN why was the man’s face covered.

I think the only way to get rid of the menace of dowry is to NAME and SHAME the boy’s family, They should be splashed everywhere on big hoardings, I am sure it the RIGHT OF THE WOMAN TO SHOW THE FACE OF HER HUSBAND..  I mean what sort of human being can leave his wife for four days alone with food, I so want to have seen that man’s face and I would also want to know what company does he work for , so his colleagues and office knows what sort of man they have appointed. I Personally would have written to that AMERICAN FIRM about this person , and I am sure if it was a foreign company they would have broken their ties with the indian company to get away from bad publicity or asked the man to leave .. WHICH IS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN .. I bet that man has probably got married all over again and got another installment of dowry ..

I Think the show should show the pictures, fine they dont want to say anything against the man , I agree but that faces should be shown.  People should see the faces of EVIL, so at least someone else also is not taken for a ride. Moreover the relatives , the neighbours, the friends  or anyone who know that family can also see what sort of people they mingle with because I am sure That man and his family have probably made all those believe how bad the girl was, nothing wrong was done by the boy and his family.

As Mr.  Balwant singh ramoowalia said Punjabi’s have this habit of wanting to go abroad , and would do anything to make it happen,  to the level that they can give away their daughters and PAY for putting them into hell, 30000 girls are in that hell , maybe more who have not reported.  I remember writing a post when something like this happened  marriage has becoming business, I have so many stories to tell. The lure of coming abroad is making people do EVIL things, they are finding new ways to come abroad.

I think time has come where Parents of a girl need to start turning the tables, Any boy who wants to marry their daughter will have to give dowry to them, Pre nuptial agreements need to be made on the day of the wedding. 

I loved the way some societies have taken upon themselves to make a change, and the north-eastern states where dowry is read about only in books.

I also think nowadays the idea of religious marriage is gone , I mean the boy and the girl both take Vows in front of God , with all their heart , yet they break it so in my eyes that idea is lost, it should probably be registered weddings, cheap and easy go to court and get married NO need of spending lakhs on parties etc , I mean whats the use of that, one can spend so much money on that and yet you can always find someone who is not happy for some reason.

Parents of a girl are under constant pressure I know that for  fact, I could see -hear ,my parents talk , when I came over to uk, got a job, WE would discuss this, My sis had to be married, preparations had to be started as she was nearing completing her education.  Luckily for us the boy’s side never asked for anything and my sister is happily married BUT there was this unspoken deal where she had to be given, I remember we had to go for the shagun to the boy’s side, as we reached, I could see my dad a bit worried , Went up to him asking what was the problem and his words were “Oh yaar, we forgot to put the Television in the car”, and I was like WHAT.. so what But the look on his face and then obviously my mum came to know ..

It was that worried look, although the boy’s side never asked and I am sure they would not have said anything but just to see the worried look on my parents made my heart-break, I had to send one of my friends to go home to pick the damn TV, I did not know it was for my sis for I had that new tv in my room and I had been using it.

The reason I mentioned this little episode is its SAD to see parents in so much pressure if not from the boy’s side , then it’s from the Society, what will they say Mann sahib be apne beti de viyah ch tv nahin ditta (Mr. Mann did not give a tv on his daughter’s wedding).. I MEAN what the hell now that is a sad thought, the day the rituals when it is supposed to be happy time , both families are supposed to be feasting the occasion having fun , there is this on the back of the mind , The worried looks.

I wish parents don’t have to go through this  , I hope and wish after this show the men , the unmarried men of our nation, come to their senses and do what MEN do , do what the reason they are called MEN.. and stop being beggars , MAKE SURE THERE PARENTS DONT BEHAVE LIKE BEGGARS..

The best would be as it happens in Western culture, the Groom-bride both organise their wedding with their own hard money.. Why don’t we pick up good things from the western culture, and parents need to understand especially the mother in law’s that what happened with them when they came as a bride , should be stopped and they are in the best possible position to make sure that what they went through, the new bride coming into their own family does not go through it again.

Our parents work so hard , maybe they should spend that hard-earned money on themselves and enjoy their life or what is left of it , Not spend it on us all our life .. Maybe we as kids WE should WAKE UP and think about our parents, Get out of our parents house  and MAKE ONE OF OUR OWN,  rather than live in our fathers house all our life too.  Go out get a job and Earn our own.. Each of us boy-girl , use our money, and then FEEL how it is to spend the hard-earned money.  Once a child turns 16 or 18 They should be asked to provide for themselves.

This is why WE NEED female Foeticide

I got this as a comment on my article  Satayamev Jayate – 1- My thoughts:- female Foeticide, Women, Men, India.

Have a read and get Shocked, more then the program itself , well at least I was shocked.. but then maybe I get shocked easily

There is another side to the same coin of massive socially customary female infanticide:

In Indian society a dead female is socially accepted but an infertile one is not. As a result there are practically no effective mechanisms for population control. Indian population will not stop growing even up to and beyond 20 Billion ( when the increased death rate due to aging might equal the births due to fertility of youth ), except that if Indians continue to practice female infanticide on a massive scale then due to reduced numbers of fertile citizens the population growth will come down, and it might stabilize at around 10 Billion eventually.

To further explain this, if all female Indians were to become irreversibly infertile today then about nine months later the birth rate would be exactly zero. Population would be around 1300 million and going down at a rate of about 15 million per annum due to deaths. In just 20 years the population would be below 1 Billion, and still going down. That is the desired effect that official efforts at family planning could not produce in about seventy odd years of trying.

Female infanticide is India’s only known effective method of population control. Although by international standards even 10 Billion is a very big number, India really has no choice. The ages old habits developed in an uneducated people can neither be wished away nor safely ignored. As of now India simply cannot afford to let all the natural born girls live on to fertile adulthood.

An ages old habit of an uncivilized people has a good chance of doing what all the seventy odd years of Intra Uterine Devices ( IUDs ), Loops, Copper Tees, Pills, Saheli, and official propaganda could not till date achieve. Being an almost entirely uneducated people, the ancient Indians could not put their reasons in scientific form, but like the so called Lemmings they simply adopted a habit suiting the need.

Nature seems to have evolved a simple way of dealing with the bigger problem of unbridled population growth ( which too is driven by unstoppable social practices ), thereby making a balance between the sacrifice and the benefit.When we criticize a naturally evolved custom of a largely uneducated people, we should not ignore the evolutionary factors driving their habits.

What say you all ?

 

 

Well What can i say to this theory its out of my stupid mind. dont know what to say .. I am really flabbergasted at this mentality .. no wonder India is where it is at present..

So what happens when in few years time its only MEN left and no women …

Will multiple men start to share a women…

Are such people ok with this happening to the women in their own family, I mean how sickening is it to just think about it ..

What do you think will happen and why is nature only evolving like this in India and not in other countries ..  I would like to tell this person that this is not a naturally evolved custom its a HUMAN BEING evolved custom and its called MURDER in simple words 

Satayamev Jayate – 2.. My thoughts:- Child Sexual Abuse, Women, Men, India..

I watched the second episode the series and Like the first episode this one was equally shocking too.. 53% of our children are being sexually abused, What more shocking can it be then this.

It further boils my blood at those people who gave me a THUMBS DOWN at what i wrote. Makes me wonder what sort of People are WE , who can’t even protect our kids .. further more what sort of people are ruling us in the government and WHO ARE WE SELECTING every time .. As the program suggested there is NO LAW so far in our nation for this crime.

I remember writing a line in one of the comments which got the thumbs down that “I do think that people need to stop talking of stupid issues and actually work on something which is much more required..” that we should maybe concentrate LESS on  USELESS ISSUES .. and concentrate MORE on issues like this. I would like to ask the same people again what do they think now , 53% which means more than one in Two is abused,  Such issues never make the headline , I wonder why!

Pick up the newspaper or listen to news all they talk is of things that don’t mean a thing when we put them in context over the TWO episodes that we have seen , the figures that have been shown, How shameful is it for our nation as a whole.  The Current headline is on BABA NIRMAL.. I mean for god sake ,  EVERY baba in our nation is taking us for a RIDE. EACH ONE of them.  but suddenly this one is in the news, hours after hours are spent on this USELESS ISSUE.  Yes this is a useless issue when compared to child abuse and female foeticide

This is going to be a controversial statement that I am going to make , HOW much time have we spent on the issue of MAN vs WOMEN.. how much time have people spent on MAN BASHING.. I want to ask those people what has that done ,  Dont they themself think that there are more important issues that might need more time , that instead of concentrating on the issues about the MEN in their family or the MEN around them they could perhaps concentrate a WEE MORE on the children too around them ..  PARDON me for saying this and I Iterate again , Let us as a nation spend time on issues which are going to make the future of our nation rather than silly issues .

I understand that no issue is less, they are all very important but I am sure if we tackle them one by one things can change, the problem we have is that we want everything to change at the same time , which is not how things work , we have to tackle them one at a time.

The figures are mind-boggling 53% of our kids, sends a shiver down my spine. I am sure rather I HOPE  this episode has done the same for others too, though I doubt as they are probably trying to find out or wasting time in finding how they can relate this to one and only THE MAN.

Today’s episode brought an evil a sad part of my childhood too,  I have held it very closely guarded all my life so far, not even the closest of  people around me know about this, but seeing the young man tell of his horrific ordeal  has somewhat given me a little strength to share with you all one of those days. I was in 5th or 6th class, Kerosene oil use to be given on a ration card in those days , a particular day you had to go and get your 5litres of kerosene which was used for domestic purposes.

PLEASE I don’t want any questions asked or any sympathy, so please don’t..

I was standing in a que waiting for my turn to come, my mother was with me but she was buying other things from the shop, there was a aunty standing behind me, I distinctively can still remember a hand going inside my shorts and starting to fondle me , I was in a shock , I did not know what to do , it had never happened to me basically as far as I remember I did not know what was happening, it was maybe for a few seconds or maybe more but it felt like ages .. and then I don’t know how to say it or put it , I felt a finger somewhere , where it is no way right, I shrieked  and as suddenly it started .. it all stopped .. I saw my mother run to me asking what happened .

I distinctively remember not saying anything other than that I want to go home, at that age I did not know what to say or to actually know what had happened .. I don’t even know who did it was it the aunty behind me or someone else , I was shell-shocked.  One thing I remember is the pain ,  My father came home from office , I complained about pain, I was taken to the hospital where I was checked over and there was a rupture, That is when my parents came to know, my parents asked me what had happened I remember I did not tell them anything till about a few days, It was too late to find out who did that to me. I spent a few days recovering as healing took a long time as you can understand why.

My parents have always stood by me, listened to me always YET I was afraid to tell them, I guess it’s because of the way we are brought up in our nation especially with Fathers.  I was not sent to the shops again alone, even when I went out to play it was someone with me. This was also the reason why when ever I had holidays my parents never said No to me going to our village to spend it , they I believe wanted me to be far away from the place.

I know what happened to me is no where compared to what the people mentioned in the episode today went through and probably hardly is such a  big issue maybe in eyes of a lot of people reading this,  But in my life this incident had a lot of effect on me , As you all know I went to a hostel for schooling, I use to be very jovial happy kid, but this incident actually changed me a lot , I was bullied in school maybe because of that , could not stand up for myself at all.. It took a long long time , not until I was in 12th that things changed , I became very violent in my college time, I guess it was maybe because of all that locked anger .

I still find is hard to stand in a que, or in a crowded place.. I feel uneasy maybe in the back of my mind that incident is still very much active.

I am not sure if I did the right thing or wrong to have written this , a lot of you have this image of me in your eyes, I guess that has taken a bit of a shock after reading maybe.. But the reason I put this here is to tell that this happens and it can change the whole life of an individual, I was lucky I had understanding parents, It took some time also to actually know what happened was wrong. This can happen to anyone, We may think our kids are safe but are they. The responsibility of seeing them safe lies with parents , who have brought them in this world.

I think Talking to your child is a must , telling them what is right or wrong at an early age is a MUST.  I did not know about it , I should have known the moment I felt that hand , it is something wrong, I should have had the confidence to run or shout or DO SOMETHING ANYTHING.. Not stand there letting it happen, I don’t know who had their fun at my expense but he/she whoever did something that probably changed the way I might have turned out to be, I am not saying I might have been different or that I hate what I am now, I am happy but who knows what could be..

And Talk to your Kids… Always

Your child might not be abused but they might have Seen something happen to some other child, Talking is the best and most powerful tool we have.  Understand this that Sometimes children do not realise that certain behaviour is OK in private but not in public. Or they do not realise that their behaviour is upsetting or harming other children.  They may be uncomfortable talking about sexual issues and may also be worried they are in trouble so your tone and manner are very important. Or you might see this happening to other kids in your locality SPEAK UP.

And we Expect a Change in our society- Not a wordless wednesday

I am really bamboozled at the mindset of how we the people in india think, I am going to put some  comments That I had made on a dear friends blog regarding the episode of   #Satyamev-Jayate which is being hosted by Aamir Khan.. With no disrespect to anyone, I just want for people to read what I wrote and do let me know what do you think I have written wrong , considering the Thumbs UP and the Thumbs Down on that particular Comment ..  This was on the topic of Female Foeticide AND Please this is not about what replies I got , the post is not about that .. It is just about the reactions to the comment …

FIRST COMMENT

This is a big coincidence , I am about to post on the same but my view is different and I saw a different thing that the show showed.

the episode talked a lot about good things and also showed how hypocrite the people are .. I believe this show will do good and i hope more people see it so good sense prevails

I do think that people need to stop talking of stupid issues and actually work on something which is much more required..
the current trend of man bashing maybe shud take a back seat till such important issues as female death is taken care of and it’s not just the men who are doing it
its women too who are equally responsible in this carnage … out of 140 doctors caught 7 years ago as shown in the clip many are women who are killing a baby for 2 thousand rupees .. shame it is

will post mine too

          Thumbs UP 3  Thumbs Down  8

Second comment I wrote

I knew this would come .. By male bashing I mean with all the posts and comments i read. Men did this men do this .. and its quiet a lovely pass time these days .. I did not say men who are doing wrong shud not be condemned , Please dont twist the words. Somewhere in many of the cases there is also a WOMEN involved who supports that man to go and beat the woman , that woman can be a mother , a sister tooo..

and THIS IS precisely what i mean it’s so easy to pick the word MAN BASHING and everyone talks of that word , yet I only said maybe take a back seat and more work needs to be done on the issue highlighted in the episode.

I also wrote that many of the doctors were women who are helping doing it .. There are also men like in nawashehar who have done a commendable job so NOT all men are bad and same way not all women are good ..

Like i said there is a women too involved in the atrocity at some stage its not just the man who does it .. as you saw the episode the Doctor whose mother in law actually kicked the baby down the stairs .. It was not a man who forced her.

This program was not about men or women it was about girl foeticide but as we are talking it has become more of how men .. and this is exactly what i mean ..

             Thumbs UP 5  Thumbs Down  7

 Third Comment I wrote

I jsut hope and wish that this episode does not become what generally happens. I really really WISH and want this issue to remain and people focus on the issue of Female Foeticide rather than go on tangents ..

That is what problem we have in india and thats what i mean on useless isssues .. So focus on this issue and lets get together ALL OF US , all the women and men .. all of us and work to eradicate this menance .. Let us all do it and save the next generation of our great nation thats all I want ..

             Thumbs UP 3  Thumbs Down  0

 Fourth Comment I wrote

You tell me why , Why does a mother want a BOY and not a girl, Why does a mother in law want that her daughter in law should have a son only..

I cant answer that question, I dont know why , I can reply on what I WANT or what my family has taught me .. That is what i can vouch for. I can only tell you what my beliefs are or what beliefs i work on ..

To me at the moment the issue is what the program highlighted and Not what it may or might become , thats all i will say.

             Thumbs UP 4 Thumbs Down  0

Fifth comment.. WHICH IS THE BEST ONE 

ok.
Thank you.

             Thumbs UP 1  Thumbs Down  2

Now What is it that I am supposed to have written wrong, just because I said to forget about useless issues and get together to concentrate on the issue that has been put up, Gets me so many thumbs down, I am not moaning or anything and it does not bother me about the Thumbs down But It just makes me more confident in saying that this is what happens when an issue is brought up, As usual it  goes into a tangent which earlier was MAN bashing , oh its all because of the man.. and these days its been given a Fancy name called PATRIARCHY.

I am wondering who are these people who have thought that me saying to “This program was not about men or women it was about girl foeticide but as we are talking it has become more of how men .. and this is exactly what i mean ..”   is something wrong. So If we look at the opposite of what i have said That what these people have VOTED FOR.   If so then how can we even think of bringing about a change in our nation.

The best part was a Simple reply of “OK. Thank you” gets a Thumbs down.. YOU WITH ME PEOPLE .

I would love to hear your views on this , What do you take from the above reactions to my comments in context to the Thumbs up and thumbs down.. Thumbs down I take as people not agreeing with me and saying I have written something wrong or was it JUST MY FACE against the comment that made them do that , Or was it the fact that I am MALE which made them do that .. I am in a tizzy here and trying to understand what it is ..

I had a similar experience earlier too, where something logical has got nothing but thumbs down because I did not write ITs man’s fault, Man this man that .. Where I wrote I got 20+ thumbs UP’s .. How do we expect to change the society when the people who are thinking like this are in great numbers , I wonder what they do behind closed doors of their house… What they think of their own husband, son, father , brother .. I don’t think things can change if such mentality exists …

SO I WANT TO ASK 

1. They are against doing anything against girl Foeticide

2. My Face

3. Me being a male commentator… 

4. I did not do any man bashing

5. Or some other hidden agenda..  🙂 

And we the people of our nation think that we can make a difference ..

Satayamev Jayate – 1- My thoughts:- female Foeticide, Women, Men, India..

I saw this new serial that has started , the producer is AAMIR KHAN a big bollywood actor, I must say I was impressed that he has taken upon himself to show us people of india what is the reality that is taking place. the first episode was based on female Foeticide, a couple of stories were told about how people in our nation have gone so bad.  The people who go on and on about India shining need to look at the hard facts and work towards it , Just by saying its india shining things will not work .

The most amazing part that I liked( i am being sarcastic, it made me so angry ) in was the replies given to a question by common people who is what the mentality of indians is , and the one that I keep harping on and on wherever I make comments or write a post , We who live in cities and big metros and consider ourself educated, we all say oh the problems start from small towns , from villages from the not so educated , or if some feminists are to be believed its the MEN.. YET the Reality is different most of the evil of killing a girl child inside the womb of a mother , Or killed once she is born are done by the EDUCATED , The clever lot.  It’s the Rich , the educated, the ones living in the cities who started this all and its not just the MEN who do it , Women are also involved in this and in a big number too…

What was again more horrific was a story where the lady says that it was her MOTHER IN LAW who pushed the baby in the baby chair from the top of the stairs , since the Daughter in law gave birth to twin girls..

How the mother in law helped in doing the wrong against the daughter in law.

WHY are women doing this to other women.. PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE DONT SAY THAT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE WAY WOMEN ARE TREATED IN SOCIETY OR because of How men treated them. (which by the way is the latest trend) ..

There were clips shown where majority of the WOMEN doctors are helping in killing the child, So why is a women killing another Female.. The doctor is supposedly educated.. WHY are the Feminists who go on and on , on various issues Why don’t they get together and do something about such women .. it is estimated that the killing of a girl child in the womb is in lakhs about 10 lakhs of them a year .. and all for 2 thousand rupees.

I go to a lot of blogs and read the article and also read a lot of Comments by a LOT of EDUCATED, INTELLIGENT people .. they make me laugh for I think those people do only one thing which is COMMENT, or press the thumbs down buttons , They don’t have the audacity to know what actually is happening, You say one word against a female and you become the worst person living and if by chance you are a male who has written it , all hell breaks loose…

140 doctors were found who would help you get rid of a baby girl, majority of the doctors are WOMEN doctors,  It was shown LIVE 7 years ago yet none of those doctors have been charged they are still practising their profession freely, YET NONE OF THE WOMEN oriented organisation have done anything to stop these women.

It is true men are responsible for all that is wrong happening to the women in india BUT there are a LOT a LOT of women too who are equally responsible , Yet most of the effort that is made to bring women up to par is by showing or telling how men are bad.

The show was really an eye-opener, brings out a very dark dirty bad side of the nation.

EACH ONE OF US has to open the eyes , EACH one of us need to start TODAY and change ourself, How many of us have stopped , or made an effort to stop something going wrong, majority of us have actually turned our backs and walked a different way , rather than stand up and MAKE SOME NOISE.

I leave you with this beautiful song, 

WE all need to wake up and stop wasting time on useless issues and concentrate on issues which are almost trying to change the whole Indian generation, for 1000 boys there are 900 girls .. and if you take this to lakh or crore boys imagine where it goes . As shown in the episode there are men who are not getting girls for marriage , so they are ending up BUYING women from different states or places .. and using them.. This big difference in sex ration has brought a lot of other problems too, It is TIME WE WAKE UP.. else in few years time we will be again wasting time on this issue as it will go cancerous and unable to mend..

The same way as we are wasting time now on issues which in my eyes are maybe not that important as The female foeticide is in the current scenario.. IF all of us put our hands together , things can change BUT only if we want to , if we STOP and DO something about it Rather then looking the opposite way …

Wordless Wednesday (30) – What does this remind you of ..

I.H.M.  posted a picture today , which reminded me of this pic that a friend sent me ..

Philosophically it reminds me ..

aje nilaami hundi meri, main vikdi which mandi
oh meri zaat dharam na mera , main kothe di randi
mere pairaan ch aje zanjeeraan
bhaven Desh AZAAD…

ve lokko main naari hundisutaan di

 

Even today I am auctioned, I still get sold in markets
I don’t get to have any Religion, Creed , Race.. I am like a whore
My feet are still tied with chains
whereas THE COUNTRY IS FREE

Oh people I am the WOMAN of HINDUSTAAN

So what are your thoughts people …

PS :-  Picture courtsey . Arun Bhardwaaj      The lyrics are Debi Maqsoospuri

Happy New year Everyone ..

First of all a Very HAPPY new year to you all .. lets start it with a laugh .. so here’s a joke and a few pictures which will hopefully put a smile on your face..

Mrs. R  comes to visit her son A  for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.  During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty A’s roommate is. 

 Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between  A and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,  M and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, M came to A saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,

I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house ; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son

A

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:

Dear son,

I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with M , and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa

Moral:  Never Bulla Shita you MaMa

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And Now for something which all ladies will have a problem with here is the proof that MEN CAN FIX ANYTHING and EVERYTHING … KOI SHAK .. Go on Deny it .. See the LAST one will make you burst out laughing .. 🙂

Seat belt broken.. I can Fix it

Dont have a Spoon .. NO problems...

No electrical problem is UNFIXABLE ...

Some idiot stole my Car Stereo.. BUT NO PROBLEM's

Dont have money to buy GPS.. Heck No PROBLEMO...

Last but not the least .. The ONE I LOVED and made me laugh out loud….  I am speechless…

No diapers at home .. NO WORRIES 🙂

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Happy New year Everyone

Ps. Pic’s courtsey a forwarded Email and Google search 🙂

Slut Walk

Over the last few weeks and months I have read a lot on the topic, it has ranged from people saying Men are the worst thing ever , how women will be happy without men . Men calling how women behave etc etc etc.. I have gone and put my views on a few of the blogs where the articles have written the replies to some have been funny and made me smile.

So let’s be frank and throw away all the hesitations we have, Slut walk is/was organised by people to let other people know that it’s not the women who invite men to rape them by the way they dress up ,  That is what I think is the MAIN point although there are a billion branches to it which my small mind cant cope with.

I am writing this post to put my views on all this Walks , holding discussions , meetings etc as far as I am concerned Dont help there are reasons behind that, Has a walk or a demonstration ever helped anyone and I mean that in context to OUR country INDIA, not referring to any other nation because I don’t believe taking examples of other nation will help us , things don’t work the same in our nation.

My question is to all the people (male-female and any other category which is human included) .. the reason I put that in brackets is I am sure someone out there reading this will say I am talking only of females , yeah I get that a lot so to be POLITICALLY CORRECT I put all..  right the question is will this walk really help.. or has it helped ..

Again please hold your horses and take your fingers off that trigger .. and listen to what I have to say

I am not undermining anything, I totally support all kinds of walk , dharna’s , agitations etc .. BUT my question is to all those who are quiet vocal,

what will they do if they found out that the person who eve teased or raped or molested is from their own house.. will they still want that male to be castrated …

All these crimes are done by a Male (again please I mean MAJORITY) though females too do it but lets assume here its a male who is the culprit .. Dont you think we should be teaching  the MEN the male in our own house , in our own room for things to make a difference, I strongly believe that Once that happens then the things will change.

I feel that the BASIC MENTALITY of a  MALE needs to be changed..  After all the rapist or the man who is eve teasing , or even thinking of it .. IS from our society and maybe from our own home ..

1. How many people will be there in the march, Pardon me for being a idiot but as far as i understand a Indian mindset many of them in the march will be going back to there own home shutting the door and then BITCH about it, Tell me if i am wrong in that …

2. How many of the people actually in the march will go home and to there Husband-Son-Father and point out to them that the way they look at a girl is not good.

3. How many MEN who are supporting this march will on a friday night get drunk or have a few drinks and then do the same thing against which they are standing up now. by this i dont mean they will go and Rape or molest someone I mean talking amogst their own friends .. Oh how sexy that girl is , look at her legs , this and that…

4. A baby boy grows , starts school , comes back home after a few days Mommy is probably the first one to ask “KOI GF banai”..  A girl is taught and instructed about social conduct, given guidelines about how to dress and behave in public in general. But a boy is seldom/never taught about these things at home esp with regard to conduct towards girls. He learns from his peers, from the media which shape up his misguided notions which slowly get entrenched. Something needs to be done in this direction too.  (copied this from Ajay’s comment..)

I am copying “It is cool to address women as chick, babe, figure, item..It is cool if you are known for your ‘long legs’…It is cool to ignore certain men who ‘compliment your gorgeous shirt/top’ with all the wrong intentions..it is cool to get a million likes when you wantedly put up a pic of you lounging by the beach ( yes, I know some ex-classmates who will do anything for attention. They are still insecure like hell. The funny part is they are showered with attention only when they put up such pics. I am in no way supporting ‘it is women who provoke men’ policy but I am convinced it is because of low self-esteem and insecurity that is making them stoop so low. I have also come across men who have asked them to think again.)”

I totally agree with the above ..

5. I also beleive that  If a woman is dressed a certain way, it does NOT mean that she’s looking for sex!.. But then I would not want a female who I know walking on the road half naked,  as a prostitue would walk.. Again YES I know how they dress and walk.  I know many out there probably wriggling there fingers to put in a comment How do i know, or how can i see.. Well my answer is Look at the one you care for and love , thats how they NOT DRESS.. hope you got a reply

I was brought up by parents who taught me how to treat a woman, I was always told that I should watch how i behave outside since I have sisters and I would not like them teased or hassled. DO you teach your son-husband-father this … Did you protest when a male in your family said something derogatory about a female in front of you.

Do have a think and let me know….