Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

As promised in the previous post , about me and my Stupid posts , I thought to lighten the mood I’ve been thinking of the conversations we have with other people its funny how people respond. This is a very good example that comes to mind if someone asks you what is the most the biggest important cause, Chief Cause of divorces

(before continuing think of it yourself and reply to the question ) ..

I am sure many will say that it was the relationship between the couple.. and plenty of more reason. Each reason is a valid one for sure.. but my dear friends here is a point to think about.. To me

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
marriagecause

Ok tell me if I am wrong 🙂

Moving on, I am sure everyone reading this note would also have heard the famous proverb that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but is it true – Does it hold true to all situations , not always because The light at the end of the Tunnel could be the lights of a TRAIN coming towards you at full speed, that changes the whole meaning of the proverb.

Does it not?

and oh boy you are buggered because you are in the middle of the tunnel as in your eagerness to go towards that Light , which is at the end of the tunnel , you were running .. that surly is a oooops moment
lightendoftunnel
Tell me if I am wrong 🙂

Another thing , of which I am equally guilty is telling people to smile , I say it a lot SMILE .. Smileeeeeeeeee and the world smiles with you.

Now imagine this scenario, There you are Walking up or down the road depending on what you are doing , going out of the house or coming inside the house.. Because depending on that you will either be GOING UP the road or GOING DOWN the road 🙂 (I bet you are ready to kill me here now).. anyway

where were we yeah on the road , all dressed up .. That again can be a UP or DOWN .. you can dress Up or Dress DOWN 🙂

Right… So you see every person who is coming your way smiling .. NOW frankly it would probably be ok for the first couple of times but suddenly it will become a bit of What the hell moment , I am sure you will be thinking .. is that person genuinely smiling .. Should you be smiling back at them .. or is that person Smiling at YOU.

Because if he is genuinely smiling then maybe he believes in the proverb that smile and the world smiles with you .. BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT and then the OH MY GOD moment when you will try to figure out what is wrong with you, what have you done .. have you got your hair in shambles , is some clothing off (remember the dressing up and down I was talking above),

you know it could be anything .. so here’s a naughty thought .. from now on say

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 🙂

smilethinking

Last but not the least, another thought and I am sure everyone reading this would have heard it all before too.. why do people say, and I have seen big slogans too that Alcohol doesn’t solve problems well if you think and give it a GOOD THINK..

neither does Milk

alcoholmilk
.. so why are there no posters saying Milk doesn’t solve any problems

Right I am off before someone takes offence in this politically correct rich world and takes me on.. moreover don’t want to use up all my thoughts in one post and then wonder what to right next..

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Weekend I was away and had gone to meet my cousin and his wife who have recently got married and trying to settle in UK, They had come with a group of students to do nursing about 5 years ago, got there degrees. got jobs and Settled here. I use to laugh with my cousin cause he was the only male nurse and the house they had hired had 4 girls and him alone.. (oooooh , though he did not like the idea later on ). Slowly as with everything people moved here and there , He fell in love with a girl and two years ago they got married.

But this note is not about them, Now they have a friend lets call her “X” who has been sharing the house with them since the day they all came to uk, before that too in india they were all together, its like family with her now,”X” is educated , completed her degree and has a job in the national health service. Last year her parents decided to get her married… 

As usual a rishta came from a very close relative of a Boy who was Handsome, Good Looking , Very humble, Intelligent blah blah blah , it was as if he lacked nothing, the only thing was he had failed in 10th class exams and had come back from dubai after working as a carpenter. OK no worries I am all for seeing the good , so what if he was uneducated.. what irked me the most was “X”  is educated why did she say yes to the rishta.. I am sure there are enough educated people, I guess the peer pressure and the age-old problem we have the girl is getting older (she is only 26)..  had a lot of influence on the decision.

So she got married every thing fine, the marriage was in india, I did not go to the wedding, she stayed with the guy for 3 weeks before she was to come back for her job, then the process started of getting the guy here to uk, the first time the visa got rejected , so we went for an appeal, thankfully the visa was granted, and in december 2010 the guy came to uk.

For some reason or the other I did not ever meet him as they live about 4 hours drive from where I live.  I am a very outgoing person and I respect my relations a lot ,”X” calls me Veerji as in elder brother and when you know someone for so long they are family, I was looking forward to meeting her husband. 

I reached  my cousin’s house friday late night , went in and as usual I asked the whereabout of this guy, to be told that he has been asked to leave or sent packing more like it for almost a month now .. and then started the stories what this so-called Quiet, handsome, good-looking .. Sau Munda , had been up to. To my horror he was torturing “X”. Since everyone was working odd times he would pick his time .. Torturing her when she was alone…

Asking her for money.. Asking her to get a new house.. so much so demanding here to give the car keys as he wanted to go for a ride.. I was shocked when ever I had called on phone they would say he is very quiet, doesn’t talk much.  NO wonder he did not.  My cousin also got him a job within 3 weeks of him coming here , a DECENT one he was getting around a Thousand pounds a month which is a lot of money in this part of the world.

He even got a Knife out and threatened to kill her or himself and then Hit her too, I MEAN WHAT THE HELL.. I must tell you here I had a fight with”X” why did she not call, the moment he hit for first time she should have called I would have sorted this $%£$%^ like anything, I mean in spite of me asking continuously she could not answer me , as to why was she bearing this for 3 -4 months that he was here all she said was at time she picked the phone or tried sending me a message but never sent it through.

Why would someone bear this,  This left me a bit disturbed what sort of Psycho people are out there who treat another human being like that .. and PLEASE for the sake of GOD all those who will come out with this man woman theory , how woman are not treated equally Please don’t … 

All this had come out a month ago, my cousin had come to visit me with his wife for 6-7 days, things got worse than as “X” was alone at home, so when my cousin returned he was told , He is like me  immediately called the police and the Guy was asked to vacate the house and “X” could accompany him if she wanted to, THANK GOD “X” took a stand that day and refused to go out, she did not want anything to do with this guy so the guy has been sent back to india.

NOW this Guys Mother and sister I can’t tell you what all theories they have come out why their brother has been sent packing.  According to them its all “X” fault she should have adjusted, I mean they are themselves Women don’t they see how their son is, The mother further added that the son did good, she will find another Wife for her precious son.

When told the son hit “X”, the mother replies that its early days once they get to know each other better the son will be fine, “X” should make more effort.

The son had not told his parents he has been asked to leave , he told them he came on his own, so the Mother says he should have stuck it out for 2 more years and divorced “X” once he got permanent residency in UK. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT.. what sort of women is that..

What made me laugh the most this guys mother asking “X” parents to return all the gifts exchanged at the wedding, The sister then says “X” was having an affair with my cousin. 

This went on for 2-3 weeks, now they want “X” to give their son a second chance HELLO, did I hear right.. he lands in UK, I will F____ break his legs, and they want a second chance.. How will they like if their daughter is treated like that by her husband.  Hypocrite people. 

I could see the pressure on “X”, it’s so much, thankfully her parents have left the decision to her and side with her on this, which is again a miracle cause usually parents don’t side. 

Me and “X” had a heart to heart discussion on this, I told her that I support her, given her my phone number in case they don’t stop ringing her from india, But I have this funny feeling peer pressure.  I have told her point-blank that if she gives him a second chance or want to live with the guy then she will have to go on her own. I hope I gave her the correct advice.

It amazes me what people do and what does it mean to get married or about the promises people make to each other ..  I am horrified at the way people think god knows how many people are there who think this way ..