Posts Tagged ‘Life’

One of the most beautiful relationship that a person can have is the one that is shared between a Grandmother and Grandson… Especially with maternal Grandma. My Nani passed away last week at a ripe age of 95, As always each time the phone rings early morning it makes you sit up thinking of the worse and so it was.

So many memories flash by when you hear of someone close passing over, the earliest memories that I have are of my summer vacations spent in the village at my maternal grandparents house.  We use to call my grandma Bibi.

Kids in those days use to be got married off especially girls at a very early age, My mom was only 18 when she was married and funny as it may sound the race to have a male heir for the family name meant try try until you have a male child , so was the case here too ,  Nani had to give birth to 6 girls before she had a male heir, and so it happened that the age difference between me and My Mama (mother’s brother) is almost nothing.

The biggest problem of coming abroad is not to be able to see loved ones at the end that always bothers me and I have had to get through a few of them over the last few years.

Things were not that advanced so everything had to be done manually, filling up of water, preparing food for the farm labourers, taking care of the household work , looking after the household animals, There was always so much work to be done and Nani was always busy doing something or the other.

She was GOOD and when I say good I do mean Good at everything ,  apart from preparing food, I remember her stitching, most of my school shirts/trousers were stitched by her not just mine but the rest of the household too,  other than that the women also had the skills of creating beautiful Phulkari’s , Women had to prepare for their dowry themselves  and by the grace of god (or was it my Grand father’s 🙂 ).. Nani had 6 daughters for whom all the Dowry had to be created, so Nani had a busy time.

I also remember the amount of time that was spent spinning the Charkha to weave thread from cotton,  The thread then used to create the beautiful bed sheets or Shawls and other type of clothes. Women had so much work to do in a day, long long working hours get up very early to make sure everything is set in motion for the day.

Men had it easy I believe as they had only one big thing to look after , tend to the fields all day long every day, I use to laugh with my Nani saying she was a Work horse never got tired, taking care of  such a big household took immense strength and Lot of hard work.

The amount of Desi Ghee, the big dollops of butter on the food I have had growing up, the yummyliscious food cooked with all that love over the fireplace, I remember I use to sit on one side of the Chulha pushing the cotton plant dried sticks for fire, as Nani cooked.

Going to bed and she would bring hot milk and tell stories till we dozed of.  Makes me think how it will be visiting the maternal grandparents house now that they are gone, time will tell.

I miss you Bibi ji world is not going to be the same place anymore.

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After being in various ups and down in the past couple of years .. I have realised that LIFE has this circle with me .. Two years of peace then TWO years of upheaval. This has become a routine now since the last decade, 2010-2011 were bad , then 2012 and 2013 was a Blisssss again everything went downhill.. BUT I also have this little philosophy which seems to be tested every now and then that without these ups and downs life would be so BLAND..

BUT.. please god I have had enough of all that , I want a Easy simple Carefree Life .. whatever is left of it 5-10 years or as much, need to have a NO TENSION life.. 🙂 hope someone is listening .. Anyway here is ONE good thing that happened after this in 2012.. I got another one In April 2015.

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Linking this to ABC Wednesday .

Continuing from part one How to live and Die (1) – Sad post and part Two How to live and Die (2 and 3)- My Views on what I think are some of the points that one needs to keep in mind to have a good Life and Die a peaceful death, the first point as I said is health.. as Health is Wealth., Then comes MONEY, I would actually put MONEY on par with Health, as lets be truthful in todays day and age MONEY is very important, Then comes having a place of your own called HOME , especially if you own your own house.

So moving on I think that there is a particular trait in us human beings that we should try to get rid of and that is “ENVY“, we all have it, A BIG FAT LIAR is the person who says he/she does not Envy.

The biggest envy we have is of that particular person who has done better than us, OH YES we all do that sometimes consciously or sometimes sub-consciously. I don’t know why do we do that or how does it concern us But in all these thoughts and in all this time spent in envying them we usually do not see how much hard work they have put in to get where they are.

It is not easy to reach high, takes a lot of hard work, heartaches, we lose a lot of people in that race to reach the top, seldom do we stand still to think is it WORTH it, reaching that particular position, or in trying to earn more money is it worth losing a good friend. By the time we stand still to think it is already too late what is lost is gone, I have a few friends who are doing just that, to become a manager or to get that extra pay grade they forget that their 4 years kid does not see them all day long, by the time they reach home the kid is asleep. Just spending a SUNDAY with the kid is not good enough, the Sunday too is spent most of time on phone calls or getting to grips what was missed in the week, paying of bills, renewing of this or that.

I have seem some very rich people not being able to enjoy a full meal in peace, YES they are a managing director of a company but having their dinner with the phone glued to the ear is not what I see as ideal situation. Thankfully I am pleased that I have stopped getting into this rat race, I am happy with what every I have, its enough to feed me all my life and maybe half the life of my next generation to.

Due to work and all there is only one meal in a day that I get to eat at home and I enjoy having it because I make sure I switch off my phone or put it on silent once I come back home.

I think it is this ENVY that makes us do all that, because we are envious of someone making so much money or reaching a particular position it makes us think about ourself , which in turn then makes us more frustrated WHY Can I Not have that, WHY cant I get that.. WELL you can but do give a thought at all the hard work put in and what all have these rich people lost on the way, Are you willing to give up all that!!!

So if we can get rid of this ENVY, I am sure we can have a smooth life.

What do you think people.. ?????

One of my lovely friends and a lovely person gave me this idea

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Got to write on the above topics each week of the year .. I am starting late so Week 1 and Week 2 will be almost together..

Topic 1:- Why Start this challenge

1. Well I have learnt from my experiences, that one needs to be thankful for everything in life.

LIFE itself is precious and we need to take care of it all the time. There are a lot of things we take for granted in life one of them being “LIFE” itself.

in todays day and age you never know, from what I have experienced on the new year day itself this year is that it takes less than a minute to lose LIFE. A lot of thoughts went through my mind that day hence taking up this challenge will help me sharing some of them.

2. I am out of ideas already for this Blogathon that I am a part of , this challenge will help me in that too .

3. I myself DO NOT want to FORGET to be thankful each passing day for all that I have got.

If anyone else wants to take it up please do so.

Continuing from part one How to live and Die (1) – Sad post on what I think are some of the points that one needs to keep in mind to have a good Life and Die a peaceful death, the first point as I said is health.. as Health is Wealth..

The next point that is equally important is MONEY.. I don’t like beating around the bush and I am sure a lot of people will be shaking their heads but believe you me that I do think after Health the next most important is a healthy bank balance: OH Yes this is a must, and If you owe some money to someone then you need enough to pay off that debt and as soon as possible. We humans have this tendency that if we owe someone and even though we have enough money we try to keep it closer to us as much as possible and for as long as possible, I don’t know why we don’t just pay our debts off at the earliest.

I recently found this out, that I do owe money to someone, I hope I am able to pay it off as soon. Over the time I have also realised that expensive gifts taking-giving need to be stopped, because when relations go sour suddenly that money spent cuts into an already sour relation.

Anyway I am deviating from the point .. One needs to have a healthy bank balance enough to provide a few comforts, and most importantly One should have enough for fun time, small little things like going for movies, eating out, holidays etc etc. Holidays May not be luxury holidays but some that can release all that pressure that builds up, somewhere that relaxes you.. I have a perfect place where I get relaxed the most .. My Village house.. That’s one place where I feel happy even when everything around me is falling down. Although saying that I had not been there for so long, so this year when I spent 2 weeks it felt like heaven, I have made my self promise ME.. that I am going to spend at least ONE week each year at home, That definitely means I need that MONEY – a healthy bank balance to do just that, as coming to India is becoming more and more expensive each passing day.

Not having enough money to just have basic recreation is very demoralizing. I was talking to a friend on this , he mentioned that he has a mortgage and some credit card bills, But I would not advice anyone to Live on credit or borrow , as that is far worse , it is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes, especially if you are unable to pay the installments.

Now that we are talking about Money PLEASE don’t lend money especially to friends, I know I am being horrible but it is truth, you lose friendship and the Money.

As I said we humans have this tendency that we like to hold on to that money for as long, even if we owe. If you ask your friend for the money back, you are suddenly not that good a friend, so friendship lost with that money too,

After Health — Money is the most important thing in life no matter what people say.. even the billionaires need the money..

The Next important fact after Health-Money is Having your own home, and by that I mean the one which you may buy yourself, I am strong believer that if you buy your own with your own hard-earned money you feel more Happy.I know in today’s economy it’s a big task to buy one’s own home and many many of us live in the house that we have got from our parents they probably from their’s, It is yours but it is not yours .. If you know what I mean.

Many people these days live on rent , Renting a place never gives you the comfort or security that you get because somewhere in the back of your mind it’s always something that you will have to vacate. BUT saying that these days especially in india No one vacates.. If you give your property on rent it seems you have done one of the worst things ever.. this brings added tensions to the owner.. I have burnt my fingers in that too. Use to have a Shop in Chandigarh the normal rent in the sector is at least 60 to 70000, but the gentleman who rented ours paid a measly 2200/- , yeah just 2200Rs. My father was a very soft man, the guy would come and cry how difficult the situation is and my dad would say ok next year we will increase , this carried on for 40+ years. So Last year I sold it off to a friends Uncle at 30% less than the market price, he has enough clout to throw this tenant out on the road, and then I got phone calls every day from him telling me he is ready to up the rent to whatever price I said, but too late for that.

I dont know why we have this mentality if we are having something good we over do it , this guy had all his business , everyone knew him and now when he would have had to set up his work at a different place , at a higher price he realises he was wrong, I remember 4 years ago when i had gone to india I had a chat with him and had told him that , he was wrong, He did the usual sob story and said can afford to increase the rent to 3000Rs. only , I just turned back and said leave it , he can have the 800rs. it will help his family more.. But serves him right.

I got so scared of this tenant business that , the house I had bought a year and half ago , we had given it on rent but now I have got it vacated and I plan to have it like that , we have a care taker who lives in it , the guy who worked our fields has a second wife 🙂 , yeah I know 🙂 .. and one kid, so the other family live in that taking care of the house , it helps both of us he doesn’t have to pay for rent , he was paying previously and we have someone looking after the house.

Today is Friendship day, I am sure those who regularly visit me know that I become very nostalgic when it comes to friendship, by the grace of god I have made some very good friends all over. I am very proud of that. The following are my views on what I think about friendship, Let me take this opportunity Just want to say I love you all my friends and thanks for always being there .. and to all the new friends I have made here Online , Blogosphere. God bless you all

Internet has been a great tool, I have met so many people over it all over the world and I must say some of them have become very good friends, a few closer than family too.

Over this blog I met a few people some good, some OK, I wont say bad because I think , No one is bad they are good for someone if not you. Sometimes it makes me think that I am from a very old school, a school where patience, respect , love existed – nowadays I have seen it does not anymore..

Today we have become very unforgiving people. It may be an ethnic problem, or a community’s problem or a country’s, or in your relationships, with your wife, children, parents,Girl Friend, Friends, Acquaintances we get very very unforgiving and we hold that against them. Hold that Grudge for a long long time, We wear it as a badge which says ‘main tujhe kabhi maaf nahi karoonga’.

Everyone has a hidden agenda behind everything, It was not like this always people use to be so good, caring. The words they said meant something , people stood by there words.

Nowadays people are quick to make a relation, even quicker to spoil or break one. What they say is not what they mean. What would it take to go back to the good old days. I mean how can someone say oh we are friends then at next instant go behind your back , I mean what is friendship…

Dosti karo to Jam ke karo
Dushmani karo to woh bhi Jum ke karo
magar khyal itna rahe , ki fir agar Dosti ho
to Sharamindgi na ho….

I think this is where we have reached we have got so busy in our life that we have forgotten or forget what the effects of our actions will have on others, We have become so selfish, I ask god one thing always Please don’t make me so selfish, or careless, uncaring, heartless, Because I don’t know which action of mine might hurt someone, and to those who i have hurt , I am not sure how I will every be able to apologize to. I do hope that some day they can pardon me.

So

1. What is FRIENDSHIP/ FRIENDS ?.
2. Do we respect our FRIENDSHIP/ FRIENDS ?.

How do you show respect towards your friend, Or see if they respect you ?

Is SAYING That I RESPECT you same as SHOWING respect ?

To me a friend is who would stand by you, no matter what, right or wrong is something to think about after the need has got over.. A friend in need is a friend indeed that’s how we respect our friendship, Good friends stand by you Right or wrong.. That is not the criteria here at the moment.. The moment is that your friend needs you and You are there.. THAT TO ME IS FRIENDSHIP

I feel that you respect it when you can Tell them how you feel and ask them how they feel directly, rather than assuming… Respect is shown when you See the whole world walk out and a few Walk IN FOR YOU.

Do people actually mean they are friends when they say they are, or are just making fun of you. If they are then why do they do it. Would they feel the same if this happened with them, or have they become so heartless that it does not bother them anymore. How can they go to sleep soundly, well now I am being a fool because they don’t even know what hurt they have caused.

People are impulsive and say things that hurt other people, they walk over others especially people whom they say are friends. And in all this process they loose friends, I am a bit of a dumbo it takes a bit of time for me to understand people are trying to ignore me , so it gets difficult to loose me :). Loosing a acquaintance or friend over trivial reason, a reason which is non existence. All I would say is such people will one day realize what they lost, by then it will be too late.

Now I have been wondering maybe I was wrong.

Was it that when they first talked to me it was for the sake of it ?

Was it that when they laughed with me at first it was for formality sake ?

Why are they like that, Why are people so selfish. OR AM I TOO NAIVE.. and STUPID and SILLY still thinking of them. It really pains me cause for me a relation is a relation.

Sometimes I wish i had the Ego or Impulse to severe my contact with people. I do pray to god to make me like them as that is the way of the world it seems Now-a-days.

Also how easy it is to Forget these days but more on that maybe some other day 🙂

Anyway today being friendship day Let me wish Please god take care of all my friends, foes, anyone I know .. God bless all and everyone

Here is a little poem i wrote some time back, it is dedicated to everyone all who visit this blog , All who Think of me, All who Thought of me and All who at some stage were my friends 🙂 God bless you all..

PS:- Thank you for all the lovely wishes in the last post, I am yet to reply to the comments Will do that ASAP. Thank you everyone.

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We should be lucky and Thank god for all we have .. Some need to go out in the dark and read under the street light..

Chandigarh, Sukhna Lake 2014. This young girl is trying to study in the dark as probably doesn’t have the facilities at home.. I wish – hope and pray she succeeds in everything she does, all her hard work pays.

PS:- Could not find a appropriate title, Anyone wants to give it a go..