Posts Tagged ‘Humour’

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Clicked it on Saturday and am still Wondering Which part is Correct!!!!!!…

I guess the chicken was raised on Strict Vegetarian food hence it being Vegetarian 🙂

 

PS:- Sorry for not replying to previous comments , I will get on to them soon. Thank you all for visiting always.

I have been reading a few blogs and articles on the famous AIB fiasco.. I call it a fiasco because I want to use the same choices words used by the famous personalities to their face and see how they react to that.. BUT hold on before I do that Let me put a disclaimer here LEST people get offended , we cant have that now can we.

Disclaimer can be rubbished so I have another WEAPON that I can use to Justify the use of the beautiful romantic language used and that my friends are the beautiful three words “FREEDOM OF SPEECH“.. and if that speech hurts someone’s sentiments, or hurts any things then $%^£$%^£%$%%&^&^ you get the hint, yeah I know I am a hypocrite I should have used the lovely word used by the famous celebrities instead and I am sure none of you would have got offended. HOW can you after all freedom of speech, But hold on let me put the Disclaimer ..

Disclaimer:- This POST is not for those who get offended over ANYTHING, the moment you feel offended by what I have written or WHAT I MIGHT SAY ON YOUR FACE, OR TO YOU please look somewhere else or do something else. Anything I say or write or do is my Fundamental right, Don’t ask me to not to. Even more If I am abusing you in PUNJABI or HINDI you cant get offended as I will be using my mother tongue and using my mother tongue is my BIRTH RIGHT. and it does get included in FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

(Any solicitors -advocates or INTELLIGENT people reading the above Disclaimer can you please tell me if this covers every angle , don’t want a law suit against me now for something stupid like this, something so small as using offensive language, after all we are all ADULTS and INTELLIGENT and MATURE).

So my views on the program involving the Celebrities, the people who are in public eye, people whom many idolise and THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SOME RESPONSIBILITY because of the nature of their work or life they lead. So let gets it out of the way first what I think of them, THEY are a BUNCH OF IDIOTS. I did not expect such language from them (another thing I forgot was EDUCATED people), How can someone in SANE mind really support such atrocious language, How can it be justified in the name of Freedom of speech or saying the program had a disclaimer.

Yes we have a choice to listen or see the show , Yes we could have changed the Channel yes this yes that.. Hoo haah.. BULLOCKS..

My question to everyone who is all supportive and going GA GA over the episode.

1. WILL THEY ALLOW THIS LANGUAGE in their own house

2. Will they themselves USE this Language

3. DO YOU use this language Yourself, if NO then WHY NOT.. WHY are you yourself not using it BUT you support this.

4. What would be your reaction if I used this language in front of you.

5. AND to create another Controversy – WILL the same people say or talk about this freedom of speech blah blah the same way if A MAN is using the language for a LADY.. or a MOTHER IN LAW is using the Language for a Daughter in law – Vice Versa.

Why do people start to talk about sexism- the age old MAN-WOMAN issues – After all it could be the right use of freedom of Speech, so what if it offends you, LOOK THE OTHER WAY or better still change your way.

The sole reason and what has made me angry at the show is the participation of these celebrities because I genuinely feel that they have a responsibility being in the public eye, they got to live up-to the expectations of the people, THAT is the Life they have chosen, that is what they are getting PAID for , YES it does not matter to me if a tom-dick-harry talks such rubbish language because he/she is a nobody, BUT these people. NO.. so many people follow them and try to emulate them, Look up to them what sort of message are they sending out.

IF this is me being hypocrite then I AM, this is not what was taught to me or this is not what I have learned, obviously what these guys have learnt is simply pathetic, THEY ARE THE BIGGEST hypocrites trying to be someone they are not.

And then I read another funny thing how some people are being targeted for openly speaking against it Well isn’t that their right , the so called freedom of speech to say what they think, Why are their actions being noted and they being called hypocrites.

In the name of Comedy these people used such atrocious language, what was worse was there were so many in the audience clapping, and I thought that an Actress like Deepika Padukone was sophisticated ALAS she turned out to be just the same , she is definitely off my list. I have been to some beautiful stand-up comedy shows never ever have I heard such a language, I have been in situations where people have used filthy language but never this Filthy. Even a Drunk or someone high on drugs who is about to get arrested does not use this language.

I am sorry that was not comedy it was a SLEAZY SHOW which sadly was being telecast, Another Question (oh god I am asking so many questions, ) to all those

6. Would you sit with your MOM or DAUGHTER or SISTER (if you are a man) .. DAD or BROTHER or SON (if you are a woman) ( got to ask about both lest someone reading points out I am being sexist now).. and Watch this program. You are all adults.

I am sure that GOOD – RESPONSIBLE people would have kept themselves away from this, maybe it was a cheap publicity stunt Actors are like politicians they will do anything for MONEY or to be in public eye, Here is another thought if the same language is used by a Politician will you VOTE for them still.

Ok Now go on Kill me 🙂

This is clicked at one of the parks while going on a ride, Can you see what is funny about this notice.. 🙂

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Bikramism’s Some questions :) .. part 1.

Bikramism’s Some questions :) .. part 2.

Bikramism’s Some questions :) .. part 3.


This time I thought , instead of asking questions why not Find out ways how to have fun during the shopping trips , especially when we have nothing to shop but just to kill some time we go for window shopping .. I think the following would make for a lovely time out there Or to all those lovely men who hate shopping but have to go with their better half’s to shop 🙂


1. If it’s a general store or a big food shop, What we can do is Get some  boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they are not looking.


2. Go to the Houseware section of the store and Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3.  Usually we see those dirty yellow signboards ..  ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’  , Pick up the sign and move it to a carpeted area. 🙂

4. This is my best one, go to the outdoor section and set up a tent tell all the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department, then wait and see how many children obliged.


5.  Seeing the above if a clerk or department worker  comes and asks us if they could help us , Start crying loudly and screaming, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ .


6. The best place to clean your nose 🙂 Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror.


7.  Go to the Guns or hunting department, pick up a gun to see and then ask the clerk where the antidepressants are and can you test the gun please.  


8   Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

 9.  Take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and ask where is the fitting room?


And last, but not least:


10.  Get into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then Yell very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’

And please don’t ask me which of these I have done , that would be telling , I have done Two of these , so Have a guess all those who know me .. Let me give you a hint.. My friends ran away and left me alone on both occasions.  Thankfully the police was not called but the look on the people working in the Department was PRICELESS 🙂 

I have recently put a lot of post on Law police and things going on in india .. Reminded me of this Picture I got from a friend, and thought of putting it up again .. This is Our Police and what a Touching moment it is .. How the hell will they run after someone just in case …  Also I had promised one of my blogger friends in the last post to put something cheerful next ..  So what do you think guys .. How so touching this is ..

Touching Moment ...

Not so touching

5. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

and this I am told is a scientific true .. 🙂

6. Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Dont you think they should be able to KNOW what the number are or sorry sorry WILL be .. what good are the psychic powers.. wish i could have them for a week then win the Lotto .. don’t need to do anything after that do I 🙂

7. Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

JLT – Just like that I was thinking .. should the abbreviation for the word abbreviated be smaller than this .. moreover difficult spellings I had to do a spell check to make sure I don’t spell it wrong…

8. Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Now tell me that .. if they are doing a PRACTISE then when will they actually work.. and also are we the humans who they need to practice upon…  then who will they ACTUALLY work upon.. I think they have got it wrong .. 🙂

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In PART 1 a friend asked this question ,…..

Why do we scold our children over a pack of chips while holding a glass of whiskey…..lol  ?

PS:- Important request ..

One of the bloggers who I read and follow is Partha Sir, He writes some beautiful stories on Blog called Random Thoughts. This blog is registered on networked blogs on Facebook HERE, for some reason there is another blogger who has registered this blog in her name  or is trying to , I have no clue why someone would do this. So My request is that can you please go and Vote for the author of this blog as Partha sir.  The link to that is http://www.networkedblogs.com/blog/randomthought ..

I usually like to go for a run in the mornings or at least sometime during the day , It gets difficult to find time sometimes so i started to take my gym bag with me to office , So I could go for a jog in my lunch hour, that way i could get away from the office gossip and also do something healthy.

Over the christmas and new year holidays I have eaten so much with everyone celebrating the festivities ,  I have been feeling very guilty for not going to the gym and running regularly,  am sure a lot of people who are regular to gym will understand this guilty feeling.  Anyway Dont worry I am not going to go on about exercising lest you people think this is another of those lecturing posts..

I thought for a change write something about when  I go for a run some nice interesting things take place, you dont realise at the moment but later on they do make you smile .. 

Like for example a few days back i was running along chug chug chug , when a idiot of a driver saw me , he drove past me , I have this big flourescent jacket which is bright orange even a blind man will see it … Anyway as I am running on the pavement this guy suddenly decided to swerve and get on to the pavement to park

And HOLA I could not stop myself THUD I banged into the back of his car …

What an Idiot , they have posters here Everywhere , almost every street , every corner  telling drivers to be mindful of bikers, pedesterians and all yet this plonker had to go ahead and do it , to makes matter worse he rolled down his window and usual “F__ hell Cant you see “.. he tells me , I did not know should I be laughing or crying or shouting at this idiot, I went up to him .. Saw this was a big bloke .. I thought here we go I am going to get thumped today .. but he would not get out of the car, jsut kept shouting from inside his car..

Man “ I am calling the police”-

Me ” go ahead, you the one who is parked ON the pavement not me ” …

He shut up cause i was right,  I shrugged myself and went on with the run.. to see he was following me .. I ignored him for sometime but each time I was to cross over the street he would accelerate his car, I really was thinking at this time that he is going to run me over,  I had to do something so I turned back and simply rushed to him…

He stopped the car,  I asked him what you doing..

 he replied “I am following you to see where you live “.. He he he he I just laughed

“Good on you mate, I still got about 5 -6 miles to run… , Carry on following me “…  I guess it did not sound viable to him driving behind me , and spending all that money on fuel… So he gave up after about half a mile.. What an idiot he should have got out of his car and slapped me I could have done that if it was me, I mean anyone can see what happened and its not as if i made a dent on his car I AM NOT THAT FAT 🙂

Another interisting thing happened one time ,  I was running during my lunch time again on the pavement by the side of a canal, I saw a lady walking with a pram , the whole of the way was blocked by her … she probably heard me running and started to walk to one side which to me looked as if she was giving way.. She moved towards her Left ,

So i changed my direction to pass her from her right hand side .. I was jsut a few steps away from her , when she suddenly stopped and leaned over the pram , bringing her Arse outwards .. BAMMMMMM I banged into her … the silly woman was NOT giving me side, she was marely turning the pram, so she could lean over to have a look at her child .. 

It was a embarassing moment .. with me all huffing and puffing, my hands on a ladies body  trying to stop myself from falling.. 🙂   

Yeah I know the looks on people who saw it ….

 Then once..  you know how people take there dogs for a walk and they  have such long leads.. that too so thin that if it is raining or snowing it gets difficult to see the lead .. well there was me running as I turned a corner there was this old man, on the left , on seeing me he sort of pulled his hand towards his chest.. WELL THAT AINT GOING TO WORK … cause the lead is so long … 

Oh yessssssssss  i ran straight into it , at this moment i had not realised but I could hear a little doggy thump thump dragged behind me ..  the lead entangled in my legs .. yeah I can be cruel toooo

I have seen so many idiots on road, they will see you running along and then suddenly forget you are on the road and turn there car.. and then look at you as if its MY FAULT they ignored me … Ohhh bless them