Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

I have been wondering for a few days now what to say or HOW to express gratitude to those who have influenced me and my life, what words do I use that will do justice to the role they have had, Also how to chose the 3.

I have had a weird life so far, Life as we know has its ups and down, its these ups-downs that make life what it is LIFE and its these Ups and downs that actually make a person A good or a bad person. In all these situations there are people who stand by you or Stood by you, by the grace of God I am one of the luckiest person’s alive , I have had so many good human beings around me who have always helped me or stood by me through all the upheavals , So this is for all of them.

My GrandFather who always believed me whatever I said , even when I was giving him an eyewash to part with 10,000 Rs. so I could join a Computer institute just because girls were there, and a couple of my friends had joined. I cant forget ever how much you pampered me , if i got in trouble (which was often) all you would ask is Have I done something wrong, when I said “NO”, You believed me without a doubt and Stood by me always.

My parents  who again had to go through all the problems because of all the troubles I got myself into, the endless evenings they spent worrying if I will live after some incidents. I do repent doing what I did and maybe if you had not stood by me and shown me the right way I would not be what I am today.

I know I am not the best human being, I have my faults a lot of them. I have hurt so many people over the time, There are those who probably wish me dead and pray the worst for me, but then that I also believe is what makes us human, We are good for some – bad for others.

I wish I could undo what I did but sadly that is not possible, Life is not just weird, its FUNNY also because we end up hurting those who are dear to us , those whom we love the most, How can we be such idiots that we end up hurting them the most.

My friends I am most thankful to , and they deserve a big big gratitude for being with me always, in-spite of knowing what a bad human I am , still being there always, I want to name each one of you but its a LONG Longggggggggg list THANK YOU.

I know I have always said that I will be a friend and yet I have failed you many a times , to you all I also want to say SORRY for being a jerk like that.

I don’t want to mention a name BUT here I want to say to that one person whom I have hurt a LOT, I do wish I had not done what I did. You are the one who gave me unconditional love always and I let you down. I don’t even know how to express my gratitude to you for everything. Maybe someday I will have the courage to say sorry to you in person, maybe.. Maybe just maybe , I love you and will always do till the end of my life, God bless you and may you get all your hearts desires fulfilled.

The following lines Sum up everything in my life ..

 Koi kami meri which hovegi

kaiyan ton jhootha pai gaya main
kaiyaan de man ton leh gaya main

oh mere naal de age langh gaye
ik ikalla hi piche reh gaya main

Koi kami meri which hovegi

Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE

Proven a Liar among others
Fallen from many people’s grace

Many have surpassed me
Lone I stand behind

Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 7 Says the title is “A friend 1”

yaar ko humne ja-ba-ja dekha kahin zahir kahin chupa dekha..

Wherever I see, I find my friends everywhere. Visibly or indirectly, I see them all around me

Today I am going to talk about my best friend, The first I had, He was the only good thing to have happened to me during my school days (which were not very pretty), his name is Anup…. I can’t remember how we met, but we were in the same class and use to sit together. In our Xth class we sat in the second row Gagan, Me, Anupinder, Vinney Partap Brar, Bhupi virk, I front row were the girls 🙂 .. yeah you can trust me to sit behind the girls.

Holidays use to so much fun and I must say here that those were the days when one could go to a FRIEND’S place unannounced, Patiala in those days was a beautiful place with not that much traffic as it is now. I can remember all those days so clearly,  We had a Brown Vijay Super scooter  with not that much petrol as was the case with most youngsters in those days, The poor scooter carried a lot of us and never broke down, Anup would be driving, me behind him, Vinney partap as third person, Sometimes We had Ajay too, ajay is Anup’s younger brother. Those were the the Mad days… The Clutch wire or the accelerator wire broke, one person held it behind.. He would shout Pull to accelerate or slow down to change the gear.. The guy behind would be doing the needful. Hilarious situations now that I think of/

The day we did not have the scooter it was the trusted ATLAS cycle, me sitting on the Danda in front and him paddling.. catching hold of the trolley behind a tractor to take a lift .. I would spend a lot of my holidays with them in patiala, sometimes he would come to stay with us in Chandigarh.

Aunty ji would make us jugs of milk shakes and Aloo paranthas.. Anup was funny if he got engrossed into reading a novel he would not move, Me and Ajay would do things to him 🙂 put his legs around , and stuff like that but Anup would be so busy and concentrating in the novel he would not mind. He was a very good basketball player.

I can still remember the trips to the 22 number phatak   (which sadly is all changed now, as they have built a flyover now) It use to be THE place in those days, everyone in evening would come , especially the lovely beautiful Patiala girls. A famous fast food place called Pick a chick  that served pizza’s and burger, Order the food then finishing a bottle of ketchup eating it up.

One incident that stands out to me ALWAYS  and (which I think changed me too) was we had gone to Jammu and Kashmir tour with our school, bad luck for Anup he was stuck with me ,  I was a hostler in school and got bullied a lot, sadly those guys were also in the same tour. I remember we were at Verinag where it is believed the River Jhelum starts and had a night stay at a place called KOKERNAG, for some odd reason these guys challenged us to come to their room in evening. I was a scary cat But I still remember to this Day Anup telling me We have to go , it’s the question of Sardari, honour we have been challenged so no matter what we have to go, I was trying to dissuade Anup into not going but he was adamant.

We did go both of us against the 7 or 8 of the gang, though we got beaten up but I am really happy we made that, and thanks to Anup I also had the courage to stand up to these bully’s.

The first time we had a drink together, The time when his grandparents had gone to Canada and we painted the village Red, loud music , dancing the whole night drinking.. it was awesome. I remember in those days punjab had black clouds in the form of terrorism, very risky to go out at night but we were super humans no care in the world. Ajay was the scapegoat when the drinks finished we would tie a turban on him, send him off to the liquor store to get some more. Dancing to some silly songs ALIBABA, Queen and stuff I bet the villagers felt what the hell was happening in the village.

Like me Anup was very fond of food, I guess I got it from him,  I remember once I landed in Patiala, Anup and Ajay were getting ready to go to some wedding and in Punjab or maybe all over India if you are invited to a party then it is understood that Everyone who is in the house is invited, no second thoughts about it, I did not even have a change of clothes so borrowed his. The reason I am mentioning this episode is because we ate so much at one stage it seemed that when ever they served fresh bowl of chicken it all landed on our plates.

After my Xth class I came to Chandigarh , he stayed in Patiala, Then went to Australia for higher studies , stayed there for six years, meantime in Chandigarh my group of friends changed.. a lot happened in those year.. But then I heard Anup was coming back and we met after so many years .. It was back to where we had left.. Nothing had changed between us, he had just become a bit Sophisticated, Drank Scotch on the rocks, used the word MATE a lot.. 🙂

He was so knowledgeable and knew a lot about World war stories, He would read so many books , I would envy him how he could manage..And the Shayari he did , he had a SHER for any occasion.. he could recite couplets from heer-ranjha , Mirza ghalib. He took so much pride in the surname MANN, very Fond of classical and jazz music, when he had come to UK I had trouble finding a nice Jazz place .. and Yeah STEAK he loved it , I took him to a pub here to have steak his words were “This is not Steak”.. The day I landed in Vancouver for his wedding, we hired a car and he took me straight to this place where they made STEAKS “This is a STEAK” he said ..

A funny incident happened at the restaurant we had hired a two-seater car, automatic, I was driving one for the first time in my life, I don’t know what it was but for some reason we could not get the key to start the engine, we fiddled around for ages, in the end we rung the company we hired from, I bet the girl at reception had a hearty laugh when she told us you have to put the car in parking, press the Clutch and then it will start.. Made us look dumb.

He was very outgoing, each time we talked on phone he would tell me he had gone for mountain climbing or sky diving.

I got invited to his wedding, Went to Canada, for his stag night we went to a club the hilarious thing was he was so tired for some reason, he went to sleep in the club while we drank our self senseless and danced around 🙂 But when the time came to come home I have no recollection of how we managed to get home, Anup brought us back somehow, I met his beautiful wife.. The wedding party was Good I remember Dancing all the evening with him and bhabhi ji.. The highlight of the evening was being introduced as Anup’s Best friend who had come all the way from England.

This article is dedicated to my Best friend Anupinder Singh Mann, he is missed and will be missed always and ever.. Sadly In August 2007 My best friend passed away due to an accident while sky diving. Anup where ever you are I love you my friend, and I miss you.. there is a lot of me that was made because of you and I am very thankful to you for that. I am a better person because of you. Thank you for being there all the time, Thank you a lot.. I prey to god that everyone has a friend like you.. Everyone deserves a good friend in their life, and you ARE the BEST.

I wish and pray I am half the man you were.

Anups Mum wrote this to me :- bikram .ajay was always my strength and anup was my weakness.but after going to canada he slowly became my strength too.every morning starts with his thoughts and every evening ends like that.when he was in australia he might have been going through rough times financially or emotionally but when asked how r u son he would always say ; chardi kala; that was anup never cribbing about anything. one common sentence every one said on his passing was that he had no mean bone in him. even to the servant he would not like if anyone said servant, no he would say domestic help. To his seniors he was never rude or reply back. he may be very upset by their behaviour maximum he would say mom it is okay status quo has to be maintained. That was my son and am proud that i gave birth to such a good human being who was such a puritan in deeds and thoughts. I could go on and on but i will finish here with these lines

na haath hi pakar sake na pakar sake daaman
itne karib se uth kar chala gaya koi.

Mainu Yaar mere Jaapde
Khuda Warge
Kisse Allah de Fakeer di
Dua warge…
(Anup and me just after passing out of 10th class)

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 5 Says the title is “The city you live in”

I am not very sure with the topic here, because to me the current city I live in will never be as beautiful as to the CITY I am From, yes I have made my home in the city I live in currently but they do say home is where the heart is and my heart has always been in CHANDIGARH (the city beautiful), the moment I think of it I go on this nostalgic trip and why not almost all my youth was spent on the roads and by lanes of the beautiful city.

The first planned city to have been built-in india after independence, when i close my eyes all i can see are the beautiful roads covered with golden leaves especially as summer is coming. My heart jumps in excitement each time someone talks about this city, I have some beautiful memories. I did my schooling from a different city and in my 11th class I came back to Chandigarh, Took admission in Govt college for men and rest as they say is History. College .. The word itself is so nostalgic.. we have so many memories attached with it .. I sometimes think of the time and seem to get lost in the huge ocean of memories , makes we want to go back in time to those days, Its been ages since I have left college but the stuff we did , the memories, the history we made .. each time I remember one such episode it lightens me up.. I have that twinkle in the eye, that energy , rush of blood which goes missing otherwise in the normal day-to-day routine that we call LIFE.

I have now left college and the CITY in search of new adventures, new roads, new ambitions.. but I still remember those days.. the 5 year of my life that I spent in college. The friends I made , the way we became friends , the silly things we did , the attitude, The no-nonsense way , giving two hoots to life as if we were unbeatable.. nothing could touch us .. Not even KARNAIL SINGH the SHO of sector 11 police station.. 🙂

Chandigarh in those days was the “THE CITY” to be in, because of proper shopping centres , cafe’s, cinema halls, People from everywhere in the country would come to see the city, The gardens it had, Every now and then some sort of concert would be organised in the open places. The first ever Rock concert I went in my life was in the Chandigarh, I remember it was an english Concert and a Group had come from Bangalore, That was the first time I had heard the song “Tarzan Boy” 🙂 .. I know I have taken many of the readers long time backwards, we danced to that song all night long. Being nearer to Punjab it was quite common to have one of the Punjabi singers every now and then performing in the city.

Rose festival was the much awaited festival that was held in Rose garden all the beautiful girls of the city would come and we boys as usual behind them trying to impress them little did we know than that , That was not a way to impress a girl.

The rock garden another attraction that would attract so many in those days I am not sure how it is doing now, but then it was a meeting point for everyone, Sukhna lake was one place that I have a lot of memories , I use to go running early morning every-day, Sadly now I hear due to silting the water is not that deep anymore.

My best friends , the people who would smilingly stand shoulder to shoulder with me were introduced to me in this city, Babbar, Cherry,Ravi,vikram,Sood All of us became such good friends, I am so full of gratitude to the City Chandigarh because it was a stepping stone for me to come to where I am, Maybe if I had not come to this city after my 10th class I would not be here where I am now, but then who knows..

The famous Gedi route the road between the College for men and Girls, so much time was spent on that particular stretch of road. The beautiful girls who also obviously wanted to look at the boys walking up and down, and us on our vehicles trying to impress some, sadly the only things that happened was the wasting of petrol.

I am sure I can go on and on with so many memories , Experiences I have had in MY CITY, I can definitely say that I am who i am because of the city Chandigarh too.

I have some photographs of the city that I would love to share with everyone ..

Chandigarh  Roads ..

Chandigarh Roads ..

Chandigarh

Chandigarh

Night time.. Left here and third house :)

Night time.. Left here and third house 🙂

End of the Road is Home ..

Home is at End of the Road

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 5 Says the title is “Something Someone Gave you”

Life is very funny indeed, teaches us a lot of things, some good some bad. It is surly up to us, to either learn from the mistakes or do them again. Lucky are those who learn and don’t repeat them again. On other thought I am sure life will be pretty BLAND if not for the mistakes or the wrongs one has done, I guess it is these events that spice up life. I am sure I have done a lot A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT (yeah it is a lot of T’s in that Lot, that is because it’s that many I have done) of Mistakes, have I learned well the answer to that is NO IDEA.

God has been very kind to me , in-spite of making all those mistakes there are so many people who love me and care for me , even if I have been bad to them, So Thank you to all of them for being in my life, for loving me so much. I do remember you all and LOVE you as much it is sad that life has taken few turns that we are not together any-more. I am sorry to have hurt all those who I have hurt, do forgive me if you CAN but maybe my mistakes are such that I can’t be forgiven. Anyway this post is not about all that ..

I have a few things that have been given to me over time by some lovely people who have loved me , cared for me which I have kept , I obviously can’t share all of them or share the stories behind because that is something very personal to me . But I can surly share one lovely gift I got from someone.

Sometimes I sit and go through the past , relive those beautiful days , Hoping will they Ever come back again, do the people who cared then – still care as much, because I surly care as much.

My question to everyone reading do you or have you also kept all these memories saved , the gifts you got, I have them all saved and as I mentioned earlier I go through them almost everyday.

November 2006

November 2006

Here’s wishing and praying Lord Ganesha looks upon all of you and fulfils all your wishes.

Ps:- I have not been visiting the lovely blogs I usually visit, LIFE as I said above is funny and it seems this year it is just not letting me go, one thing after the other keeps happening, very stressed and probably going in Depression 🙂 .. he he he he 🙂 🙂 .. Hopefully APRIL will come with better news. I am having to visit India soon have to take care of a few religious duties and other personal issues , so hoping that things will change. If I dont get to visit you all please pardon me ,, I will be visiting for sure .. Have a great day everyone.

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 4 Says the title is “A FAMILY MEMBER”

From the previous post it is fairly obvious that I am a family man sort of person , who believes a lot in family as a whole, and to pick one family member is a bit difficult for me , as whatever I am , who I am has all been because of the constant hard work done by a lot of family members.

I can definitely not choose between my Father and Mother , well they are the reason I am here :), had they not been together and done what they needed to do I would not be here writing this post.. So good or bad, HERE I AM 🙂 Which reminds me of a famous saying

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

I wrote an article a few years back on fathers day, When I was growing up I am sure I missed a lot of chances to tell my parents that I love the,, Rather being a typical kid I don’t think I ever said to them.

I am not sure why we, especially the kids from my generation never were so close to their Father, It was always the mother one was close to, although ways are changing fathers are spending more time with kids, getting to know them. We even have a organisation called justice for Father’s, because I feel even the law has been biased towards the mother all these years, during a separation or a divorce it was an obvious choice for the kids to be handed over to a mother. Anyway that is a different topic to talk about.

Coming back to the topic on hand, Gratitude,I am so very thankful to my parents for doing their best always to make sure I am provided for, I have studied in one of the best schools in india in those days, which was not very cheap. The tuition fees , hostel fees amounted to a lot of money, The school sent bills every 3 or 4 months, it was paid right on time every time, I had never seen my parents say anything about it ever, I mean I get bills now sometimes for the house Electricity or gas bills , many a times the thought comes to mind that if only it came next month, I would be better off. But I don’t think I ever saw it on my parents.

There is another thing I want to say here, this might be a SHOW off statement too, But my father was a Govt. official and in a position where a lot of money was involved, I know every child will probably say that about his parents but I am sure my father earned his money the hard way, reminded me the day he got retired, there was a party organised. The amount of people that came and even today when I go to India I meet so many people who remember him .

Mom on other hand was a typical Punjabi woman who got married when she was just 17, I am also sure she did not have a choice who to marry , it was probably the same as is for every other woman, her dad found the man she was to marry and from a village she came to a city. Where she lived her life as a house wife.

When things were hard for the parents after the Step family split and my father left everything to his step family, I was only 7 or 8 , remember clearly those times, starting afresh and just one person doing a job, I bet the lure to earn money would have been so much at that time but I am glad he remained true to his principles, Mom started helping by Knitting, she started this little school where she taught a couple of ladies how to Knit, the little tuition money helped a lot . Slowly things started to work out , we had moved into a one room house, it was the four of us Also in those days My mother’s younger sister was doing her degree in Chandigarh , she use to stay with us, so it was a lot of people in a little place.

Dad started to build an extra rooms in the part of property that we had, and in probably a year or so we had a three bedroom house which was big enough for us all. I am not sure what to write or continue writing there are so many things ..

All I can say is I am proud to have the parents I have, I hope they are proud of me. I just pray to god that he gives me the strength to not do anything that would hurt their sentiments.

One of my lovely friends and a lovely person gave me this idea

10869784_10152539586531631_5639190144537728250_o (1)

Got to write on the above topics each week of the year .. I am starting late so Week 1 and Week 2 will be almost together..

Topic 1:- Why Start this challenge

1. Well I have learnt from my experiences, that one needs to be thankful for everything in life.

LIFE itself is precious and we need to take care of it all the time. There are a lot of things we take for granted in life one of them being “LIFE” itself.

in todays day and age you never know, from what I have experienced on the new year day itself this year is that it takes less than a minute to lose LIFE. A lot of thoughts went through my mind that day hence taking up this challenge will help me sharing some of them.

2. I am out of ideas already for this Blogathon that I am a part of , this challenge will help me in that too .

3. I myself DO NOT want to FORGET to be thankful each passing day for all that I have got.

If anyone else wants to take it up please do so.