Posts Tagged ‘emotional’

Hi I have had a few emails asking me to update my about me page and asking me other questions , So I thought of putting up this post that I had written a few years back, It still stands correct .. hopefully you can know me a bit more after reading this one 🙂  Also there are some who have been emailing a couple of my friends asking them what sort of person I am , I don’t know why it is necessary to ask and why not ask me directly, (by all means please skip reading as its nothing but stupid stuff)..  I want to say to them

pooch-tay haiN wo ke BIKRAM kaun hai
koi batlaaye humain ki hum batlaayen KYA

(they ask who Bikram is, Someone Tell me What DO I TELL THEM)

You know we go to some sites they ask us to create our profiles etc , and then write something about ourself .. The dating sites.. Blogging sites.. etc etc (yeah before everyone raises their eyebrows.. I am talking general.. I don’t visit dating sites , yeah Well actually not that OFTEN he he he )

So what do we write in there, do we know about ourselves so much as we think, or is it people around us who know us better.

Here is an attempt of what I think of myself Loads of people who read will differ because many of you have not met me.. or know me as a person.. But still I am assuming quiet a few would have an inkling of HOW I am.. “Liar, Honest, Pathetic, dependable etc etc , I have been called all these names.. ”

I think of myself as a Normal, common man having same aspirations as millions have, nothing out of blue.. I just want to be a millionaire, have tons of girl friends he he he .. no jokes apart..

Really I never had very high aspirations, I never had a thought of coming abroad, Not even till my final year in college. I was a normal kid, not good in studies but ok in sports.. Always wanted to be in the indian army..

Sat for the IMA exams 4 times cleared Each time, but for some reason SSB interview I was not good enough and for some odd reason I come abroad and am an officer here.. Not going through the SSB interview was one thing that hurt me, cause had not thought of any other thing, always was so sure I will get through the army.. Even joined a coaching place , talked to a few officers , my uncle was a brigadier , he was like There is no way I WILL NOT get through, it was on the BOARD.. anyway it happened and it HURT…

I am very emotional I must say, I have tears coming sometimes when I am alone thinking of stuff just random stuff.. don’t know if that is Pathetic or what…

I have made some wrong decisions and I accept them, but that’s what makes us what we are Today I think. It’s all these silly, stupid things we have all done while growing up that we Now KNOW are silly and stupid. If we had not then We would not know.

Back home in india I use to love going to movies or chilling with mates, We had such a big group, did some naughty things together, brings a smile on my face now.. Have had a pretty decent life so far. I have written about these incidents now and then ….

I miss people a lot, I remember almost everything that has happened so far, I can fairly remember the faces of all the people I know and there Names too.. And Yeah something weird I remember most of the Phone numbers. I also miss my home.

I hate people who are two-faced, to me IF you have said something or you have promised something then its a MAN’s word why should you step back from it AND or BUT In case you have to step back then you should be MAN enough to accept and be sorry , Rather than make excuses, which is the normal trend I feel nowadays, You promise something and when one cant do it then its easy to ignore thinking it will go away, I mean why yeah it will hurt if you own up, But then it makes it easier in life to move forward , to go and do the next thing…

I am of the belief that you should stand by your friends right or wrong, that’s what friends are for, no matter what, I rarely have made enemies but I am positive of one thing that if I cut off with someone than that person has no chance of being back in my good books 🙂 And if you are my enemy then You can bet your _ _ _ _ you will know it. I am not the one who will keep it in my heart , If I don’t like you .. You will be the first person to know about it, A bit rude but then that’s me and I don’t back down.. A lot of times things have been going fine but because of this attitude I have sometimes whirled the pool a bit, A bad point in me I know.

I hate a lot of things in me , and I try had to change that aspect of me.. 

Why am I so emotional

Why am I such an idiot

Why am I like this

Why does it matter to me if the world is collapsing, or the neighbour’s house is being burgled. Why do I have to stop when I see a guy following a girl and trying to pinch her purse or harass her, Who the hell is she or he to me .. WHY do I do that..

Why did I need to interfere when the guy who was drunk fell down on the pavement and Two other guys were going through his pockets and His mates who he had come with, were standing there being a spectator and Laughing over the stupidness of their friend.

These questions are constantly disturbing me, I constantly think of ways to change myself but I fail miserably …

Great. did it as I said its difficult to write about ourselves .. don’t know what else to write anyway this was something about me… Now all who read know a bit more about me 🙂

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Nostalgic time , I am a very emotional person and since living in uk for so long I thought i would not get this emotional over a issue of being HOMESICK.. but today of all the days it was one of those days ..

I got up as usual 6am went around doing what i do everyday reached work around 9, the usual good mornings, gossip and all booted my machine and after replying to the work emails, getting the coffee sat down to read a blog.. That made me a bit teary..

I then went to my gmail to check my email, I had a link to a song , I rarely listen to songs at work, dont know why or what made me click the link and after the first 2 or 3 lines on the songs the waterworks started, my collegue was looking at me astonished whats happened a grown man with waterworks.. IT was one of those things where i was not crying but eyes were flooded, i could not stop .. the song went on and i cried …

I am sure you all are wondering what a horrible song it might have been, but beleive me if you listen to it you all will know what i mean..

Reminding me of my friends back home and around the world.. Anup, Babbar,cherry, ravi, vikram, ajay, ashwani ,Handle (bhupi), sandy, chander, Balli, gagan, .. that was a different time when we were in college .. nothing to worry about, having the fun of our lives studying in college well that was the idea to go and study rather it was fun time , no worry about the world, not afraid of anything or anyone  what all we did in those days …

I remember the famous dialogue of Rang de basanti movie that

Inside the gates of college We made life dance on our fingertips and on the other side of the college life has made us ,

and it is making us dance to its tunes .. and we are just dancing no matter what we do just cant stop..  all those big dreams We will do this , the time when 100 stood in front and we are just 10 the ability to say COME ON.. seems to be slowly going away Get tired so soon of the daily problems and tensions in life…

I so want to go back home GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Jsut a few minutes ago one of my friends Vikram came online this is the conversation i had with him

 
Bik: OYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Vikram: yes dear
Vikram: paaajiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Bik: yaar good man
Bik: aj bahut yaad aa rahi si
Bik: yaraaaan di
Bik: and u came
Bik: niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Vikram: I know…same here
Vikram: gana suneya …
Bik: yessssssssss
Bik: chal riha hai
Bik: on a looop
Vikram: Yaar anmulee
Vikram: Asi China ja ke log tang karte..gana baja baja ke
Bik: yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Bik: ey shabaaasheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Vikram: Great song..bahat changa hai
Bik: yes
Vikram: Cheery was just here
Vikram: we were away for coffee
Vikram: just back
Bik: yaar main aa jana india
Vikram: AAAA jaa na
Vikram: Hun tan Babbar vi aa geya chd
Vikram: BALEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Vikram: Tun aa jaaa yaaaar

cud not post all of it got a bit out of hand later… sometimes i feel why am i so , i mean you know  ah well i guess thats who i am good or bad THIS IS ME 🙂

I wish and pray for all you reading may you never have to live away from friends and make new ones,  stay away from the rooots .. its hard very hard .. all these thoughts keep coming to the mind how we celbrated lohri.. the fights and arguments to whose place to celebrate.. on holi which girls house to go to, and embarasse them…  The things we got up to.. THOSE were the days

The Gedi’s in front of the Girls college, the planning to go how to Patao a girl.. nothing use to work 😦

The canteen being the best place the whole day, the samose , the drinking of tea cup after cup…  Cholle Puri 🙂 yummmy , the constant  bickering of the canteen wala asking for money of all that was eaten … 

That reminds me i had started writing about my friends how we met and what we did , I should continue to do so ..  Why do we have to be so far away .. why cant we always stay together ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bade chete aunde ne yaar Anmulle
Hava de Bulle
Si maujaan karde Collegi Pad-de

Oh duniya vakhri si …

Click on the song and if you know punjabi you will enjoyyyy but even if you dont you will understand 🙂

Just want to say I love you all my friends and thanks for always being there .. and to all the new friends I have made here Online , Blogosphere. God bless you all