Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

First week of marathon and I am already lagging behind , Sorry everyone but Cant help not getting time to do anything other than work.. I have some now, so Posting the replies as promised to the earlier post …  We have some Lovely answers .. let me do Mine first and then we will accumulate all of them together …

1. Don’t change horses…………..                          Until they stop Running.. 

2. Strike While the……………………….               bug is close by  .. 🙂

3. It’s always darkest before…………..                 Daylight saving time 

4. Never underestimate the power of………….. Termites

5. You can lead a horse to the water but………… How  ?

6. Don’t bite the hand that…………..                       Looks dirty

7. No news is…………..                                                  Impossible 

8. A miss is as good as a…………..                             Mr. 

9. You can’t teach an old dog new…………..          Math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll……….           you will STINK                           

 

 

Mine are not that clever , I have had some excellent Replies 🙂

 

1.

Don’t change horses…………...While riding

Don’t change horses…………... while you’re sitting on one!

Don’t change horses…………...while at the betting window.

Don’t change horses…………..change the jockey.
2.

Strike While the……………………….wrestling champion is sleeping.

Strike While the……………………….gun is loaded

Strike While the………………………. Iron is Hot.
3.

It’s always darkest before…………..the fridge door is opened.

It’s always darkest before………….. you find the light-switch.

It’s always darkest before…………..we switch on the light

4.

Never underestimate the power of…………..your toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..A jar of nutella

Never underestimate the power of………….. a bawling toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..stupidity in a large group (this stuck in my mind for a while😀

Never underestimate the power of…………..crooked politicians

Never underestimate the power of…………..Social media

Never underestimate the Power of………….. a Common Man.

5.

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..you can’t teach him to wash!

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..make it drink from a bottle of mineral water

You can lead a horse to the water but………….. can’t make it drink.

6.

Don’t bite the hand that…………..has just washed your butt.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. messy.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. that digs your grave

Don’t bite the hand that………….. holds the spoon.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. feeds you.

7.

No news is…………..the biggest horror in Shruti Aunty’s life.

No news is…………..news anymore – it is a bored man’s imagination.

No news is… ….. ….so peaceful.

No news is…………..100% true these days

8.

A miss is as good as a…………..mister.

A miss is as good as a …………..mistress

A miss is as good as a …………..Mrs

9.

You can’t teach an old dog new…………..ways to irritate your brother.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….ways to poop.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….masters

You can’t teach an old dog new………….tricks 

10.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………end up hairy and wet.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………, you’ll be the b****

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………you’ll be drowned in cuddles and happiness.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………wake up with them

 

I hope I have got them all here , If I have missed any let me know please 🙂 and thank you all for all the replies 🙂  So here is a question which one is the most hilarious…

 

Anyone !!!!!

 

 

 

 

I had asked some questions in the previous post , but the Christmas cheer and all only one or two people attempted the answers, So here are the answers ..Hope you all are having a good time , enjoying the festive season..

 

1. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?

Claustrophobia!

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2. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor ?

Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

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3. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride ?

A Holly Davidson!

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4. What do you call a cat in the desert ?

Sandy Claws!

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5. What do you call a dog who works for Santa ?

Santa Paws!

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6. What did the sea Say to Santa ?

Nothing! It just waved!

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7. What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party ?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

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8. Why did the turkey join the band ?

Because it had the drumsticks!

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9. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesawus

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10. What fur do we get from a tiger?

As fur as possible

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New year is just round the corner so let me take this opportunity to wish all the readers , and to every one around them a Very happy new year …

  Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
  Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to Mark too.
  Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
   Rottweiler: Make me.   Dare Ya!!!!
  Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
  German Shepherd:I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
  Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
  Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or ‘We don’t need no stinking light bulb.’
  Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
  Labrador: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
  Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
   Poodle:I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

PS:- Pictures courtsey – Google.

UPDATE:- sorry I might have misled everyone here .. This came as a email to me , I just put some pictures to it .. Sorry My bad

Lets race to the fence

I usually like to go for a run in the mornings or at least sometime during the day , It gets difficult to find time sometimes so i started to take my gym bag with me to office , So I could go for a jog in my lunch hour, that way i could get away from the office gossip and also do something healthy.

Over the christmas and new year holidays I have eaten so much with everyone celebrating the festivities ,  I have been feeling very guilty for not going to the gym and running regularly,  am sure a lot of people who are regular to gym will understand this guilty feeling.  Anyway Dont worry I am not going to go on about exercising lest you people think this is another of those lecturing posts..

I thought for a change write something about when  I go for a run some nice interesting things take place, you dont realise at the moment but later on they do make you smile .. 

Like for example a few days back i was running along chug chug chug , when a idiot of a driver saw me , he drove past me , I have this big flourescent jacket which is bright orange even a blind man will see it … Anyway as I am running on the pavement this guy suddenly decided to swerve and get on to the pavement to park

And HOLA I could not stop myself THUD I banged into the back of his car …

What an Idiot , they have posters here Everywhere , almost every street , every corner  telling drivers to be mindful of bikers, pedesterians and all yet this plonker had to go ahead and do it , to makes matter worse he rolled down his window and usual “F__ hell Cant you see “.. he tells me , I did not know should I be laughing or crying or shouting at this idiot, I went up to him .. Saw this was a big bloke .. I thought here we go I am going to get thumped today .. but he would not get out of the car, jsut kept shouting from inside his car..

Man “ I am calling the police”-

Me ” go ahead, you the one who is parked ON the pavement not me ” …

He shut up cause i was right,  I shrugged myself and went on with the run.. to see he was following me .. I ignored him for sometime but each time I was to cross over the street he would accelerate his car, I really was thinking at this time that he is going to run me over,  I had to do something so I turned back and simply rushed to him…

He stopped the car,  I asked him what you doing..

 he replied “I am following you to see where you live “.. He he he he I just laughed

“Good on you mate, I still got about 5 -6 miles to run… , Carry on following me “…  I guess it did not sound viable to him driving behind me , and spending all that money on fuel… So he gave up after about half a mile.. What an idiot he should have got out of his car and slapped me I could have done that if it was me, I mean anyone can see what happened and its not as if i made a dent on his car I AM NOT THAT FAT 🙂

Another interisting thing happened one time ,  I was running during my lunch time again on the pavement by the side of a canal, I saw a lady walking with a pram , the whole of the way was blocked by her … she probably heard me running and started to walk to one side which to me looked as if she was giving way.. She moved towards her Left ,

So i changed my direction to pass her from her right hand side .. I was jsut a few steps away from her , when she suddenly stopped and leaned over the pram , bringing her Arse outwards .. BAMMMMMM I banged into her … the silly woman was NOT giving me side, she was marely turning the pram, so she could lean over to have a look at her child .. 

It was a embarassing moment .. with me all huffing and puffing, my hands on a ladies body  trying to stop myself from falling.. 🙂   

Yeah I know the looks on people who saw it ….

 Then once..  you know how people take there dogs for a walk and they  have such long leads.. that too so thin that if it is raining or snowing it gets difficult to see the lead .. well there was me running as I turned a corner there was this old man, on the left , on seeing me he sort of pulled his hand towards his chest.. WELL THAT AINT GOING TO WORK … cause the lead is so long … 

Oh yessssssssss  i ran straight into it , at this moment i had not realised but I could hear a little doggy thump thump dragged behind me ..  the lead entangled in my legs .. yeah I can be cruel toooo

I have seen so many idiots on road, they will see you running along and then suddenly forget you are on the road and turn there car.. and then look at you as if its MY FAULT they ignored me … Ohhh bless them