Posts Tagged ‘aviation’

Right Continuing from my  previous post about airports and let’s go ahead and discuss some experiences , as such its the new year and many of you would have travelled to go out and about..

After the heartbreak of Not finding Gate No. 1 and then trudging along the corridors to reach the gate where We will be boarding the plane , Another things greets us ..

Which is AGAIN A big QUE..

I have a question here.. We checked in the people on the desk checked our Passport , Gave us the boarding pass .. We walk towards the departure lounge, as we enter there is someone always on the desk who will check our Boarding pass and/or the passport ..  so this is the Second time it has been checked..

Get to the Security to find another Que of people waiting to pass through the metal detectors, half undressing , Taking shoes off, jackets off, belts off.. I mean wont it be better if they have a room that you need to pass through, naked.. it will clear all doubts of everyone.  Most of the time they already have us half Undressed ..

I have always had incidents at that point, especially when I am boarding from India, You stand in a que, Take your shoes off, belt off , jackets off, anything in the pockets go to the tray , Pass through the detector and it HAS TO BEEP.. I have never managed to go through it ever when it has not beeped.  a Point to remember here is there is only one way inside , SO you have to go through this detector ALWAYS..

So you go through Beep beep beep the red sirens start to work, The handsome young Officer on the other side is waiting with his , hand held metal detector , which he moves all over your body again.. I mean what is the difference of doing that again.. The metal detectors has already gone off, why do they need to do it again.. Anyway then you are hand frisked, Nothing is found on you .. thank god for that .. What happens next this officer Stamps your boarding pass, he checks it again .. (THIRD TIME)..

He does not tell you that he has to stamp it, you are supposed to know that , the labels on your hand luggage also need to be stamped.. if you pick your stuff early .. its your fault.. NOW hold on a Minute How is it that Stamping that label makes it all safe..  The reason I am mentioning this is because, maybe I was too eager to get into the plane , I picked my hand bag too early, The officer did not  have the courtesy to let me know that it is important, so like an Idiot I walked up to the Gate, ANOTHER security officer there informs me , I have to go all the way back to get it stamped.. What a waste of time.. I have been through security and all, Anyhow go through the Same DRILL again . so it is stamped all the while the officer standing there has this Stupid Smirk on his face..

They are supposed to be helping the people,  Yes they are their for Security too BUT I am sure they need to be a bit more friendly too, Dont you think.. If I did something like this here I will be pulled up.

The point I wanted to make is How does it make it MORE SECURE.. that stamp on the label ..

Anyhow you reach the Gate which is another Big DRAMA.. your flight is announced the people at the Gate are speaking loudly for everyone to hear , where they tell the Seat numbers they want first to board.. does anyone bother Nooooooooooooooo… you know why Because of that Overhead locker space .. everyone wants to Rush so they can put their stuff and Take over the lockers of others too.. I have already mentioned that .. BUT before you do that what happens .. Can you guess ..  come on

The security at the Gate ALSO checks your passport and Boarding pass.. (Fourth Time) .. you walk to the gate of the Aeroplane , the charming ladies welcoming you,  also want to have a look at the boarding pass that is the FIFTH time .. so you see till you are sitting on that seat documents are rechecked and Checked all the time .. 🙂 they don’t trust us Do they ..

So Thankfully by now we take our seats , getting ready for the flight everyone is settling down ..  GUESS WHAT HAPPENS .. the captain or the pilot comes on the Tannoy and says the same thing …

” We are running a bit late, and WE are having to make up some time ” . WEEEEEEEEEE I think…

How can it be WE.. WHATTTTTTTT the HELL .. HOW CAN IT be WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, How can they make it as if its our fault .. I WAS HERE THREE HOUSE AGO CAPTAIN.. Dont involve me in your office politics or whatever it is .. it is not WE its YOU.

Also on second thoughts what do they mean they are going to make up time, what is that make up some time .. does that mean they will go faster .. so right, they are going to do us a favour .Normally they go slow but today they will go a bit faster .. WELLL IF YOU HAVE THE FACILITY TO GO FASTER, THEN USE IT ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEE

I forgot at the check-in, the staff asks you a typical STUPID question , and they probably ask everyone ..  HAS ANYONE Put anything in your bag , without You knowing it..

HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD WILL I KNOW ????

How do you answer that question.. How do I know if someone has put anything in my bag without me knowing about it :), but Still we all reply it in one word “NO”…

And then you reach the destination, you have booked this posh hotel for your stay, you are on a holiday.. to reach here you have packed your bags , you put them in the CAR , you reach the airport and you take your bags off, you take them to check-in, you put your hand luggage in the trolley and are taking it all the way , picking it up and putting it down , you reach the destination and you do the same drill and come out of the airport ..

you put the luggage in the car and reach your hotel .. and THERE IS THIS MR. HELP standing who will Roll your luggage 20 feet or maybe 50 feet asking us “I carry your bags for you SIR”..

WHAT THE HELL.. I carried my bags half the way around the world and he wants to carry it 10 feet for a TIP..

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU EARLIER…... I can bloody well handle my luggage to my room ..

THANK YOU THE VERY MUCH..

and guess what you are the worst guest that hotel ever got 🙂 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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400th

I did not realise the previous post was the 400th Post on this blog till I pressed the publish button,  When I had started blogging I have never thought I will be reaching this milestone ever, But here I am. There are a lot of people who have made this possible, Each one of you who click on the link to reach this place.

Those who manage to reach here and then spend time Reading whatever I write which most of the times does not make sense to me even, but kudos to you all having the patience to read it all .. and THEN also showing more patience in pressing the like button or commenting on the post .. AND THAT IS APPRECIATED EVEN MORE, That is not all THEN MOST OF YOU COME BACK AGAIN and AGAIN to the same old blog 🙂  Now believe me I am very very thankful to each one and Everyone from the bottom of my heart, Hats off to each of you.  If it would have been possible I would have personally MET each of you and given my personal Thanks to you all.

Please do accept my sincerest Thanks. I am really blown over by all the love and care I have received over the time from everyone.  I consider myself to be the luckiest person in the world to have so many beautiful people around me.

Blogging has been a wonderful experience for me over the last 3 years although lately I have had some bad memories of it too, Especially because they involved people whom I did think as a friend, But the word Friend has a different meaning in the Virtual world. I have come to realise that.

This is a happy moment for me so I will not spend more time on it and waste your time too 🙂

Once again Thank you Everyone ……

Right now all that is over, you all can come down to earth and Read what I am about to write .. WHAT you thought it would be easy getting all the thanks and Walking away … NOPE I ain’t going to let any of you that easy.. after all its the 400th post so might as well make use of the moment and make you Read another post he he he he he ….

I am sure every human has a lot of things that makes them mad or angry, in my case there are umpteen, I am spoilt you see so I get mad at lot of thing, One thing that makes me mad is the air travel. Its not the whole travel as such , I don’t have any problems sitting in a plane, going to different places it’s the start of the travel which makes me angry and the fact that airlines don’t treat us properly , DO THEY..

Now have a think, especially everyone who went on an AIR travel recently or anything, They make us come 3 or 2 hours early , I mean we drive like mad always under pressure hurry hurry , or we might miss the flight, There might be traffic so lets leave a bit early , and if there are road works then we start even earlier ..

We have been up not just those 3 hours early but a couple of hours more as we got up and got our stuff ready and what not .. So we have already been up for lets say 5-6 hours , half the day we spend awake has already gone, Most places of work have hours of on average 8 hours .. so you have spent that much time already working, just because you have to travel and have to reach the airport that many hours prior.

Now compared to the people at the check in desk, They have yet to start their work so they are all calm and relaxed.. While we reach the desk in a rush rush mode huffing and puffing because of the weight we have , especially we Indians .. if the airlines say 20kg allowed we have to make sure and try to take at least 40kg..  Any way we reach the desk the ever so helpful desk people all fresh and ready to take on the world .. calm us down every so kindly “Sir don’t worry, you are fine , there is plenty of time , Calm down .. it’s all right you got ages yet .. sit down”

But you are always in a panic mode , as if the plane will just leave , to be sure you decide to ask the staff and they ever so calmly tell you “noooo sir”.. dont panic..

The clock is ticking , the notice board still says “Gates not open”, or “Gates will open in 50 minutes”.. the countdown begins..  and then someone on the Tanoy announces and your flight is announced .. OH MY GOD .. the same staff are schizophrenic ..  they go mad .. HURRY UP .. HURRY UP You will miss your flight ..

You feel like saying “HOLD ON .. I have been here since THREE HOURSSSSSSSSSSS…” How The hell will I miss the flight ..

Another curious thing is the flight you have to take is always on a gate that is farthest , they tell you gate number is 68 …  WHERE THE HELL is GATE ONE.. I have never seen that gate ever.. I have travelled a lot , Domestic flights , international flights .. Where is GATE ONE… Nope never seen it ..

Then starts the long walk , the mile long walk to the gate, I have a question for the airlines ARE THEY trying to save ON PETROL .. putting their plane so far away .. and make us walk .. for that mile to reach it .. Why can’t they bring it nearer , To Gate no. 1.. look at all the time it will SAVE.. so much energy saved toooo

Another awful thing happens , the one thing that just makes me more MAD and I hate it .. The buggies they use, Those golf buggies that they use to ferry passengers, there is me walking to that frigging Gate 68, huffing and panting with my hand luggage which weighs a TON by now .. and this buggy goes by and they make the people sit the other way round .. JUST TO make you more angry , because you can see the SMUG faces of these people .. GETTING their RIDE and you are walking and There is STILL HALF A MILE TO GO YETTTTTTTTTTTttttttt

Finally you reach the plane, putting your hand luggage in the over head compartment is another DRAMA for there is always some idiot who has got more than one hand luggage and has used the space that is above your seat , which is supposed to have been reserved FOR YOU.. the person who has paid so much money for the ticket which comes with luggage space, You have to find another space, to see the hate filled eyes of the person whose space you are about to pinch.  But thankfully today is your lucky day no one has come and asked you to empty the space .. the air hostesses are kind they help everyone get adjusted , ready to take off..

Right then Enough for today .. Rest I will post next time what happens when the aeroplane takes off and when you reach the destination .. especially if you have booked a posh hotel at the destination 🙂

Once again Thank you so much for always coming over to read what I write .. and for being with me in this journey that has come to be of more than 3 years now and 400+ posts ..

Thank you all..

Weekend is coming , have a great weekend everyone ..

Ps. Picture courtesy google..

This is going to be another of those “THOSE” posts , I am not sure what I am wanting to write or say , other than a couple of observations, I was at work outside an Arena where they have late night gigs or shows etc.   People had to enter the premises , show their ticket , The bouncer at the gate tore about 80% of the ticket and gave back a little stub.

Now this is where I had a thought , we all go on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnn about how to do less wastage etc , then why do everywhere they have such big tickets especially if it is to be torn away, and Since I have paid why don’t  I get to keep the 80% of the ticket..

I WANT THAT The bigger Stub, I have Spent my hard earned money on it ..  the little stub can be kept by the organisers at the gate, they make MORE profit.. get back 20% of the ticket toooo .. They are mean

Dont you think it’s a genuine concern, moreover if I have entered the venue then why tear the ticket, why not just keep the whole of it, the stub that is left is also kept very safely ,  lest we lose it and at some stage we are asked to show the other piece or risk being thrown out of the venue..

It’s the same when one is travelling on a train, you hold on to that ticket because the ticket checker will come and you need it .. But when you are flying why do we need to Hold on to that stub for dear life ..

once you are on the plane..   you still hold on to it .. there is no need for that ….

it’s not as if half way into the flight a  ticket checker is going to come and say “TICKETS PLEASEEEEE””” . .. oh god I don’t have it ..

STOP THE PLANEEEEEEEEEE … Throw this person out of the DOOR ..

Talking about planes

What is this with number 13, the paranoia behind it and all.. Have you seen there is no row 13 on the plane .. I asked the stewardess why so ..

“oh because people think its unlucky to sit in row 13..”

Well there is not that much thinking being done, is there ?

Now I don’t say I am an expert or anything , but have a THINK, you are flying , munching on to those peanuts that they give you, suddenly at 33,000 ft when you having a large scotch in hand.. . all of a sudden

Row 13 seat A to F  drops off under the fuselage.. swishhhhhhhhh… Just like that .. GONE .. A huge hole under the fuselage and the row vanishes.. while everyone else carrying on with what they are doing .. Have you seen that …  I have never seen that

People in row 12 turning back and saying oooh that was lucky .. Wasn’t it

People in row 14 saying ooh brilliant .. look at that leg room Brilliant , I did not even pay for it .. for that extra leg room, if you are flying by Ryan air or other cheap airline you have to pay for that extra leg room ..

So anyway row 13 does not exist ..

Yet there is no space between row 12 and 14.. If one is so paranoid then should they not have a dummy row but not fill it.. I mean Are they hoping that when bad has to happen it will suddenly forget the maths..

God of death is coming to get Mr. Mann in Row 13..  Reaches up to row 12.. AH ha next row is MY MAN.. but oops one step it changes to Row 14.. Mr. Mann has a lucky escape just because he is sitting on Row 14 🙂   It does not happen that way..

Anyway just a few thoughts.. Have a great day ..

ps:- Pic courtesy Google pics.