Archive for the ‘Why’ Category

The rewind button on the different music apps makes one think if we can have a rewind button in life too.. They do say that Hindsight is a boon, But sometimes the same hindsight also shows us what a prick we have been .. the concept of WHAT IF .. comes into action.

What if 2013 did not come, or what if the decision one took was a different one, BUT then everyone also says Destiny ..What has to happen will happen no matter what we do. So the decisions made would have been made irrespective of what the hindsight tells us now.

Very confusing, recently I was so fed up of everything that was going on around me that I thought of rewinding back the clock , So I went to a couple of places for 2 days only to try to relive the time that has gone back. It was not the same but I did have a smile for a few hours on my face.

Sometimes we make dreadful and very very wrong decisions, the worst thing is those decision can’t be taken back and we have to live our entire life with them, the clocks cant to rewound , whats done is done, friends turn to foes, people we love turn to people who hate us.   I do wish that there is a way in this world where we can make things right after they have been completely destroyed by us only.

If someone else has destroyed those it probably is easy to forget or at least live with the hate we have for them, but what if the one who has destroyed it is you , yourself. What do you do..  I know many people say that they don’t remember or have moved on, But I for one have not been able to forgive myself. I know I have done wrong VERY WRONG, how do we make it right.   If we had the opportunity to tap that Rewind button then I would have surly done it by now.

So I spent a couple of days last week roaming on the streets, trying to freshen up the memory of the not so distant past, it is still as if it was yesterday, God what a fool I would make of myself getting excited over Eating those masala Corn, one gets in cinema halls, or eating the lovely chicken in a restaurant, Riding a auto-rickshaw, looking at a Enfield bike and shouting ohhh “BULLET”…

I have always maintained that if I was to live my life all over again , I would do the same , make the same mistakes because I am what I am — (Good-Bad-Ugly) because of those mistakes or decisions… But as with everything else Exceptions are always there, I too have one which I would not want to repeat, this will probably haunt me for the rest of my life but the damage has been done , I dont see any way how it can be rectified.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.……………..

The rewind button …………

 

 

PS:- My apologies for not answering to the comments on previous post , and also not visiting all the lovely blogs. I will do that Soon.

TO THE INDIAN MAN

Posted: November 11, 2014 in Abuse, Angry, Children, Experiences, indians, Shameless, Why
Tags: ,

Imagine a Scenario , you bought some shoes from a well-known popular showroom, it is but OBVIOUS that you will probably know what size you are before buying, I am also assuming you Like the colour of the shoe, you like the PRICE too and basically you Like the shoe.

Good shops here in uk do give you the comfort of 14 days money back guarantee, some even give 30 days, provided we return them in same condition they were bought, BUT this is not hard and fast rule , I have actually a few times used a product , found it’s not for me , taken it back to the shop, it has been either exchanged for a new product or in some case money given back or given vouchers to be used on anything at a later stage, I have no qualms on having those because that would mean at least my money will be worth spent on something that I really want.

So having that theory in mind, you may read on 🙂 A few weeks back, I had my cousin come over with his wife and kids for the weekend, during the conversation my nephew said he wanted a cricket bat as his old one had chipped , so we went to a famous sports shop, to have a look. We were looking for one when I heard a bit of commotion , knowing me and my inquisitiveness I walked over to see what the commotion was ..

A Young man about 30 – 35 years old , well-built, flashy glasses on was having an argument with one of the girls at the cash machine, I went about looking for my stuff ignoring but that did not last long as the voices started growing louder, I heard the girl saying “Sir Please don’t talk to me like that ” , “Sir Please talk to the manager”.. But this gentleman was getting more and more aggressive.. Mean while my nephew came-over with his bat, so we stood in the queue.. waiting for the commotion to get over.. a couple of guys were in front of us.

The manager also had come by that time , asking this gentleman to come to the next till so the girl could carry on serving the other customers, while he sorted out the problem, But this man would not have it. He was getting more and more aggressive and at one stage threw the box he had in his hands at the poor girl with some choice EXPLETIVES, The manager tried to calm the guy saying there are Kids around so not use such a language BUT this guy just would not have it.

What had happened was this gentleman had bought a pair of shoes that were on clearance sale with almost 80% off, paid about £15/- , had worn them for a few times as the sole of the shoe suggested, it had been more than 30 days.. YET he wasn’t happy with them so now wanted to return and get his money back.. The manager was trying to convince him that the store only had 14 days return, that too with original packaging etc. But nothing would convince him, he became ruder and ruder , at one stage almost went up to the face of the manager yelling.

Even UK is becoming like India it seems , there was a queue of people waiting to be served , they could all see the girl at the counter distressed, Some had kids with them, YET NO ONE said a word they were all SMILING , waiting to be served so they could get out of the shop, I HATE SUCH PEOPLE. They are the worst lot, the ones who just Look and Do nothing. No wonder the world is in such a mess as people wont do anything, They just ignore as things don’t concern them. But sooner or later it all comes to our doorstep. If we act in the start things would never deteriorate.

Maybe I am an IDIOT or a moron but sadly that’s the way I am, I went up to the guy and talked in Punjabi, Telling the guy to keep it low, calm down, kids are nearby and they don’t want to hear the choice words he was using, He probably thought I was some uneducated person and shouted back to me , to stay out and mind my own business ( I just had an old Kurta and track suit on, so probably he thought I was just another Indian trying to show off), Anyway I ignored him once and asked him politely again this time in English , To please calm down , think of the kids around in the shop, he should at least mind the language.

BUT IT seems some people just wont take a hint , since ME, the manager and the counter girl were being so polite to him , he thought he was being a hero in the shop, continued saying stuff. I had no other option but to identify myself and Warn him one more time to Mind the language , as you can’t use such language with young Kids around. I have never seen someone’s EYES pop out so much, the moment he saw my identification his face went white, lost that loud voice he had, I wish I could have taken a PIC, it was like a wet cat coming out of a pool BUT HE did have the audacity to tell me I was not on duty so I should not interfere, I had only one answer to that , He can SUE ME ..

You know , when you open a coke can and pour it in a glass it suddenly shoots up, the bubbles etc, but leave it a second and all calms down the bubbles vanish, Well so is what happened with this gentleman , he was suddenly very calm and could not wait to get out of the shop, the manager however offered to give him vouchers for the amount he had spent, but he was too much in a rush to suddenly get out.

WHAT A FOOL HE MADE OF HIMSELF, I mean the reason I am writing this article is not to show off what I did, this is normal day-to-day for me so nothing to show off, BUT I was amazed at a well dressed person who looked educated behave this way, that too for a paltry sum of 15 pounds, I mean what is more important your self-esteem , respect or getting the money. Had he requested or talked politely I am sure the store would have had no problem refunding the money or giving him vouchers. SO why behave like that ..

Does it mean if someone is talking nicely to us we should get this rude , just to show others what a big man he was ..

If he was such a man he should have taken me on, as he was threatening to slap the manager , he should have said the same to me .. Why are people becoming such idiots that it does not matter to them what others will say, I am sure I will recognise him all the time so will others, they will just laugh at him. I know I can be arrogant but I do make sure that I don’t offend others just for the sake of it or knowingly.

Is it such a MAN thing to talk to rudely, does it give some sort of kick. kids were with me otherwise this gentleman would have spent some time in a cell trying to figure out was it worth the hassle.

I would like to ask a couple of questions from everyone who read this, Especially the ones who believe in GOD.. 🙂

I had gone to The Gurudwara Sahib,  as I entered there was a  huge list on the notice board with several names etc of people who had donated money for various reasons, The headline of the notice was “DAANIYAAN DI SOOCHI”.. ( name of people who have Donated”.

Although when we translate it in english it somehow loses the meaning of the word DAANIYAAN

It was a co-incidence that the Person who was reading from the holy book and trying to tell the meaning of the words written in Guru Granth Sahib ji, He made a startling comment on that headline too which sort of is still going through my mind, Hence the question Just wanting to know If I am right in thinking what it is.

We are all individuals so I am sure many of us will have different ideas on the question or maybe different interpretation..

What does Daan (donation) mean ?

  

Who is it given TO

  

Who is it Given By 

  

Why is it Given..

  

That is it just a simple set of questions, although I might just start another controversy here once I tell the What I think and what the Guy said … (The questions are in context to God-religion.. Not otherwise)

Update:- Let me re-iterate the above questions are in context to God-Religion , What we donate to temples/ religious places in name of god etc.. Have our names in that list of Donateee’s , We say we donated to this religious place.

PS:- My previous post on justice for a child, here is the original court judgement and One my blogger friends has given a view from the lawyers perspective, which is quite good and She has given a good reply,  as to what and how the law of land works, which does need to change. A good point of view.

Child Abuse – Signs and Symptoms

Child abuse is any form of physical, emotional or sexual mistreatment or lack of care that leads to injury or harm.

It commonly occurs within a relationship of trust or responsibility and is an abuse of power or a breach of trust. Abuse can happen to a child regardless of their age, gender, race or ability. Abusers can be adults (male or female) and other young people, and are usually known to and trusted by the child and family

Although these signs do not necessarily indicate that a child has been abused, they may help adults recognise that something is wrong. The possibility of abuse should be investigated if a child shows a number of these symptoms, or any of them to a marked degree:

Sexual Abuse

  • Being overly affectionate or knowledgeable in a sexual way inappropriate to the child’s age
  • Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases
  • Other extreme reactions, such as depression, self-mutilation, suicide attempts, running away, overdoses, anorexia
  • Personality changes such as becoming insecure or clinging
  • Regressing to younger behaviour patterns such as thumb sucking or bringing out discarded cuddly toys
  • Sudden loss of appetite or compulsive eating
  • Being isolated or withdrawn
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Lack of trust or fear of someone they know well, such as not wanting to be alone with a babysitter or child minder
  • Starting to wet again, day or night/nightmares
  • Become worried about clothing being removed
  • Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures
  • Trying to be ‘ultra-good’ or perfect; overreacting to criticism

A child may be subjected to a combination of different kinds of abuse.
It is also possible that a child may show no outward signs and hide what is happening from everyone

Sexual development progresses through a number of different phases:

  • infancy
  • young school age
  • pre-adolescence
  • adolescence

Each stage has behaviours which are considered ‘age-appropriate’., although it is also normal to a see a child exhibiting behaviour from the age group immediately above or below them.

If a child has learning difficulties or behavioural difficulties, it is important to consider their developmental stage.

Many adults are uncomfortable when they see children displaying sexual behaviour. Our judgements are affected by age, gender, personal experiences, cultural background, religious beliefs and profession.

It is normal for children of all ages to play and experiment and be curious about their own and each other’s bodies.

Ask yourself the Following questions

1.    Does the child seem ‘normal’ for their age?
2.   Do they seem emotionally or socially withdrawn?
3.   Are they unusually aggressive?
4.   Does the child seem dirty or smelly?
5.   Are they bruised or cut in any way?
6.   Is the child left at home by themselves?
7.   Are they left out late at night?
8.   Is their home clean and tidy?
9.   Does the child spend time with their family?
10. Do they seem to have a good relationship?

And Talk to your Kids… Always

Your child might not be abused but they might have Seen something happen to some other child, Talking is the best and most powerful tool we have.  Understand this that Sometimes children do not realise that certain behaviour is OK in private but not in public. Or they do not realise that their behaviour is upsetting or harming other children.  They may be uncomfortable talking about sexual issues and may also be worried they are in trouble so your tone and manner are very important. Or you might see this happening to other kids in your locality SPEAK UP.

Another of those weird things that come to mind, been continuously asking myself the question on

How de we know we have friends ?   
 Are the people who talk to us , or chat with us our friends, I have been blogging for almost a year now , so many people have come to my space , written a few things , we have talked to each other , I have had email conversations , talked on GTalk and other messenger tools , Some I talk to regularly .. Some have indeed become very good friends But the question that comes to mind a lot of times is are we all really good friends.

Do you know when i am sad or happy or what is going on in my life, I bet a few will be nodding there heads that yeah they know.. but I am not talking of YOU .. So stop nodding and think.. I usually dont make friends easy, but when i do , I try to keep it and would do anything for a friend.

Dont take me wrong I have made so many friends via my blog, who have helped me when i was down, To some i even owe my life for being there and holding me up..

I have had some good laughs with all, but the question that comes to my mind is HOW DO WE KNOW that we are friends , does this coming to the blog, leaving a comment show we are friends.

Most of you who have chatted with me will know I am sort of fool , who thinks from the heart first rather than mind, which by the way I HATE IN MYSELF wish and please pray that I become clever please please

Why do we make relations ?

Second question that comes to mind all the time is why do we make a relation especially when we know we will not be honouring it. I mean do we actually realise that if we lead on someone we might actually be hurting them.

Why do we rush to make a relation at the drop of a hat and then break it at the next drop of hat ?

 Do we actually respect the relation that we make or do we jsut do it for the sake of it , To me Friendship is a Relation so when you say Oh we are friends Do you mean it OR is it jsut way of the talk..

What is the terminology of good friends ?

Who is a good friend, dont we have to be a good human being to be a good friend.  In my small life i have had a lot of experiences good and bad , I can vouch for one thing that even if i am able to change the past I will not want to change anything, I have had a good life so many people have touched my life and I am happy and fine with all that has happened..

It has Made me Wiser well so I think .. time will prove 🙂

When people break or move away then WHY ?

Why do they start moaning and cribbing oh how much i miss that person, and how a few things in life reminds them of what use to be.. WELL IF IT DOES REMIND YOU THEN WHY DONT YOU TAKE THE FIRST STEP AND GO BACK...  Otherwise stop writing such useless and stupid notes and thinking like that.. first you play a game with someone’s emotions , drop them like a nobody then write such stuff , Who you trying to make a fool again.

oops a lots of Why’s…..

I recently had a very good experience that sort of made me ask these questions , I am not sure if others also feel the same way as I do.  Does it make me a fool if I accept and think of you as a GOOD FRIEND when you say we are friends .. or should I be suspicious and give it a lot of thought before opening up.

WHY are people around us so heartless… or I should ask WHY do they show the stone feelings towards you.  I have had so many questions flying around in my silly little head and each time I try to answer them I fail miserably the one question that flies is WHY…

WHY

Just a small meagre 3 letter word yet it brings so much pain …

WHY do people change, I am not against changing but WHY turn there face, if someone has done wrong is it not better to let the person know what wrong they have done , rather then turning your face and walking away.

I am not sure what sort of person god has made me But WHY is it that I feel bad about what happens or has happened, How can people change so fast or am I missing something.. Sometimes the thought that comes to my mind is there is no place for me in this whole wide world…

I also think that If I disappear or vanish or die or whatever, all the people who once told me they care for me, love me etc etc will it even MATTER to anyone.. for that matter will it be even noticed where is Bikram.. I know I know someone will say it should not bother me, I should move on or I should forget about these people.. BUT is it that easy to do all this ..

I am definitely weird, the more I think the more I realise what a jerk I am for it definitely is not easy for me to move on or forget, I dont say you are a friend , or like a bro or the new lingo on the street these days , you are blood.. If I don’t mean it ..

I consider you a friend, part of family BECAUSE I consider you one, WHY is it so wrong to be like that , IS there no place in this world where you can find genuine people.

There always seems to be some motive behind, keeping relations could be anything money, emotional, love there is some sort of emotion, WHY cant people just be happy with the other person as they are, True I have problems , I am not perfect No one is .. I am good for some – Bad for others.. everyone is but suddenly you turn your face that ain’t right either.. IS IT …

Friendship is one relation I had so much faith in, I use to think friendships don’t change even if people change, Is there nobody out there who thinks the way i think, don’t people sit back  especially when they are alone and think , Wonder what Bikram is doing today, being long since talked to him , lets give him a call .. Or  Haven’t heard from him since ages , Is he ok, is he alive ..

Or

Is it just me who thinks that way 

How come its so easy for you to forget

WHY is it not easy for me ..

Am I really so weird..