Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

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I have been wondering for a few days now what to say or HOW to express gratitude to those who have influenced me and my life, what words do I use that will do justice to the role they have had, Also how to chose the 3.

I have had a weird life so far, Life as we know has its ups and down, its these ups-downs that make life what it is LIFE and its these Ups and downs that actually make a person A good or a bad person. In all these situations there are people who stand by you or Stood by you, by the grace of God I am one of the luckiest person’s alive , I have had so many good human beings around me who have always helped me or stood by me through all the upheavals , So this is for all of them.

My GrandFather who always believed me whatever I said , even when I was giving him an eyewash to part with 10,000 Rs. so I could join a Computer institute just because girls were there, and a couple of my friends had joined. I cant forget ever how much you pampered me , if i got in trouble (which was often) all you would ask is Have I done something wrong, when I said “NO”, You believed me without a doubt and Stood by me always.

My parents  who again had to go through all the problems because of all the troubles I got myself into, the endless evenings they spent worrying if I will live after some incidents. I do repent doing what I did and maybe if you had not stood by me and shown me the right way I would not be what I am today.

I know I am not the best human being, I have my faults a lot of them. I have hurt so many people over the time, There are those who probably wish me dead and pray the worst for me, but then that I also believe is what makes us human, We are good for some – bad for others.

I wish I could undo what I did but sadly that is not possible, Life is not just weird, its FUNNY also because we end up hurting those who are dear to us , those whom we love the most, How can we be such idiots that we end up hurting them the most.

My friends I am most thankful to , and they deserve a big big gratitude for being with me always, in-spite of knowing what a bad human I am , still being there always, I want to name each one of you but its a LONG Longggggggggg list THANK YOU.

I know I have always said that I will be a friend and yet I have failed you many a times , to you all I also want to say SORRY for being a jerk like that.

I don’t want to mention a name BUT here I want to say to that one person whom I have hurt a LOT, I do wish I had not done what I did. You are the one who gave me unconditional love always and I let you down. I don’t even know how to express my gratitude to you for everything. Maybe someday I will have the courage to say sorry to you in person, maybe.. Maybe just maybe , I love you and will always do till the end of my life, God bless you and may you get all your hearts desires fulfilled.

The following lines Sum up everything in my life ..

 Koi kami meri which hovegi

kaiyan ton jhootha pai gaya main
kaiyaan de man ton leh gaya main

oh mere naal de age langh gaye
ik ikalla hi piche reh gaya main

Koi kami meri which hovegi

Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE

Proven a Liar among others
Fallen from many people’s grace

Many have surpassed me
Lone I stand behind

Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE

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52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 7 Says the title is “A friend 1”

yaar ko humne ja-ba-ja dekha kahin zahir kahin chupa dekha..

Wherever I see, I find my friends everywhere. Visibly or indirectly, I see them all around me

Today I am going to talk about my best friend, The first I had, He was the only good thing to have happened to me during my school days (which were not very pretty), his name is Anup…. I can’t remember how we met, but we were in the same class and use to sit together. In our Xth class we sat in the second row Gagan, Me, Anupinder, Vinney Partap Brar, Bhupi virk, I front row were the girls 🙂 .. yeah you can trust me to sit behind the girls.

Holidays use to so much fun and I must say here that those were the days when one could go to a FRIEND’S place unannounced, Patiala in those days was a beautiful place with not that much traffic as it is now. I can remember all those days so clearly,  We had a Brown Vijay Super scooter  with not that much petrol as was the case with most youngsters in those days, The poor scooter carried a lot of us and never broke down, Anup would be driving, me behind him, Vinney partap as third person, Sometimes We had Ajay too, ajay is Anup’s younger brother. Those were the the Mad days… The Clutch wire or the accelerator wire broke, one person held it behind.. He would shout Pull to accelerate or slow down to change the gear.. The guy behind would be doing the needful. Hilarious situations now that I think of/

The day we did not have the scooter it was the trusted ATLAS cycle, me sitting on the Danda in front and him paddling.. catching hold of the trolley behind a tractor to take a lift .. I would spend a lot of my holidays with them in patiala, sometimes he would come to stay with us in Chandigarh.

Aunty ji would make us jugs of milk shakes and Aloo paranthas.. Anup was funny if he got engrossed into reading a novel he would not move, Me and Ajay would do things to him 🙂 put his legs around , and stuff like that but Anup would be so busy and concentrating in the novel he would not mind. He was a very good basketball player.

I can still remember the trips to the 22 number phatak   (which sadly is all changed now, as they have built a flyover now) It use to be THE place in those days, everyone in evening would come , especially the lovely beautiful Patiala girls. A famous fast food place called Pick a chick  that served pizza’s and burger, Order the food then finishing a bottle of ketchup eating it up.

One incident that stands out to me ALWAYS  and (which I think changed me too) was we had gone to Jammu and Kashmir tour with our school, bad luck for Anup he was stuck with me ,  I was a hostler in school and got bullied a lot, sadly those guys were also in the same tour. I remember we were at Verinag where it is believed the River Jhelum starts and had a night stay at a place called KOKERNAG, for some odd reason these guys challenged us to come to their room in evening. I was a scary cat But I still remember to this Day Anup telling me We have to go , it’s the question of Sardari, honour we have been challenged so no matter what we have to go, I was trying to dissuade Anup into not going but he was adamant.

We did go both of us against the 7 or 8 of the gang, though we got beaten up but I am really happy we made that, and thanks to Anup I also had the courage to stand up to these bully’s.

The first time we had a drink together, The time when his grandparents had gone to Canada and we painted the village Red, loud music , dancing the whole night drinking.. it was awesome. I remember in those days punjab had black clouds in the form of terrorism, very risky to go out at night but we were super humans no care in the world. Ajay was the scapegoat when the drinks finished we would tie a turban on him, send him off to the liquor store to get some more. Dancing to some silly songs ALIBABA, Queen and stuff I bet the villagers felt what the hell was happening in the village.

Like me Anup was very fond of food, I guess I got it from him,  I remember once I landed in Patiala, Anup and Ajay were getting ready to go to some wedding and in Punjab or maybe all over India if you are invited to a party then it is understood that Everyone who is in the house is invited, no second thoughts about it, I did not even have a change of clothes so borrowed his. The reason I am mentioning this episode is because we ate so much at one stage it seemed that when ever they served fresh bowl of chicken it all landed on our plates.

After my Xth class I came to Chandigarh , he stayed in Patiala, Then went to Australia for higher studies , stayed there for six years, meantime in Chandigarh my group of friends changed.. a lot happened in those year.. But then I heard Anup was coming back and we met after so many years .. It was back to where we had left.. Nothing had changed between us, he had just become a bit Sophisticated, Drank Scotch on the rocks, used the word MATE a lot.. 🙂

He was so knowledgeable and knew a lot about World war stories, He would read so many books , I would envy him how he could manage..And the Shayari he did , he had a SHER for any occasion.. he could recite couplets from heer-ranjha , Mirza ghalib. He took so much pride in the surname MANN, very Fond of classical and jazz music, when he had come to UK I had trouble finding a nice Jazz place .. and Yeah STEAK he loved it , I took him to a pub here to have steak his words were “This is not Steak”.. The day I landed in Vancouver for his wedding, we hired a car and he took me straight to this place where they made STEAKS “This is a STEAK” he said ..

A funny incident happened at the restaurant we had hired a two-seater car, automatic, I was driving one for the first time in my life, I don’t know what it was but for some reason we could not get the key to start the engine, we fiddled around for ages, in the end we rung the company we hired from, I bet the girl at reception had a hearty laugh when she told us you have to put the car in parking, press the Clutch and then it will start.. Made us look dumb.

He was very outgoing, each time we talked on phone he would tell me he had gone for mountain climbing or sky diving.

I got invited to his wedding, Went to Canada, for his stag night we went to a club the hilarious thing was he was so tired for some reason, he went to sleep in the club while we drank our self senseless and danced around 🙂 But when the time came to come home I have no recollection of how we managed to get home, Anup brought us back somehow, I met his beautiful wife.. The wedding party was Good I remember Dancing all the evening with him and bhabhi ji.. The highlight of the evening was being introduced as Anup’s Best friend who had come all the way from England.

This article is dedicated to my Best friend Anupinder Singh Mann, he is missed and will be missed always and ever.. Sadly In August 2007 My best friend passed away due to an accident while sky diving. Anup where ever you are I love you my friend, and I miss you.. there is a lot of me that was made because of you and I am very thankful to you for that. I am a better person because of you. Thank you for being there all the time, Thank you a lot.. I prey to god that everyone has a friend like you.. Everyone deserves a good friend in their life, and you ARE the BEST.

I wish and pray I am half the man you were.

Anups Mum wrote this to me :- bikram .ajay was always my strength and anup was my weakness.but after going to canada he slowly became my strength too.every morning starts with his thoughts and every evening ends like that.when he was in australia he might have been going through rough times financially or emotionally but when asked how r u son he would always say ; chardi kala; that was anup never cribbing about anything. one common sentence every one said on his passing was that he had no mean bone in him. even to the servant he would not like if anyone said servant, no he would say domestic help. To his seniors he was never rude or reply back. he may be very upset by their behaviour maximum he would say mom it is okay status quo has to be maintained. That was my son and am proud that i gave birth to such a good human being who was such a puritan in deeds and thoughts. I could go on and on but i will finish here with these lines

na haath hi pakar sake na pakar sake daaman
itne karib se uth kar chala gaya koi.

Mainu Yaar mere Jaapde
Khuda Warge
Kisse Allah de Fakeer di
Dua warge…
(Anup and me just after passing out of 10th class)

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52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 5 Says the title is “Something Someone Gave you”

Life is very funny indeed, teaches us a lot of things, some good some bad. It is surly up to us, to either learn from the mistakes or do them again. Lucky are those who learn and don’t repeat them again. On other thought I am sure life will be pretty BLAND if not for the mistakes or the wrongs one has done, I guess it is these events that spice up life. I am sure I have done a lot A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT (yeah it is a lot of T’s in that Lot, that is because it’s that many I have done) of Mistakes, have I learned well the answer to that is NO IDEA.

God has been very kind to me , in-spite of making all those mistakes there are so many people who love me and care for me , even if I have been bad to them, So Thank you to all of them for being in my life, for loving me so much. I do remember you all and LOVE you as much it is sad that life has taken few turns that we are not together any-more. I am sorry to have hurt all those who I have hurt, do forgive me if you CAN but maybe my mistakes are such that I can’t be forgiven. Anyway this post is not about all that ..

I have a few things that have been given to me over time by some lovely people who have loved me , cared for me which I have kept , I obviously can’t share all of them or share the stories behind because that is something very personal to me . But I can surly share one lovely gift I got from someone.

Sometimes I sit and go through the past , relive those beautiful days , Hoping will they Ever come back again, do the people who cared then – still care as much, because I surly care as much.

My question to everyone reading do you or have you also kept all these memories saved , the gifts you got, I have them all saved and as I mentioned earlier I go through them almost everyday.

November 2006

November 2006

Here’s wishing and praying Lord Ganesha looks upon all of you and fulfils all your wishes.

Ps:- I have not been visiting the lovely blogs I usually visit, LIFE as I said above is funny and it seems this year it is just not letting me go, one thing after the other keeps happening, very stressed and probably going in Depression 🙂 .. he he he he 🙂 🙂 .. Hopefully APRIL will come with better news. I am having to visit India soon have to take care of a few religious duties and other personal issues , so hoping that things will change. If I dont get to visit you all please pardon me ,, I will be visiting for sure .. Have a great day everyone.

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Is duniya which Jinne Rishte

Sab Jhoote te behrooop

Ma da rishta SAB ton Sacha

Maa hai Rab da Rooop

Most relations in this world are all untrue and sham 

Mother’s relation is truest of all 

Mum equals God 

vekh lai vilayat yaro– vekh lai Vilayat

goriyaan rangaan de which dil ne black

Have seen and been at foreign lands, have been there and done all
Fair skins have black hearts
wal suwalle gaane gake fir v dil nahin bharda

mera maa de hathaan diyan pakiyaan rotiyaan khaan nu bada hi dil karda

aj maa de hathaan diyaan pakiyan rotiyaan khan nu bada hi dil karda

Have sung different songs yet my heart remains empty
My heart yearns painfully for pancakes made by mum and filled with love


I have been reading a lot on how women are treated badly and how it should all be equal, I got no qualms against anyone but I do think that not everyone is same and people of all kinds take advantage of every situation men-women both.  There are a lot of people out there who are taking advantage of the new laws that have come up ..

So today i will tell you a true story and you tell me who is wrong .. My brother in law “S”  is married To “R” and lives happily in delhi, they have a beautiful daughter. I am very close to him, Now my sister in law has a younger brother “B” who also shifted to Delhi as a career move and stays with them .  About 3 years ago “B”  got married, I could not go for the wedding due to some reasons, The last time I had met my cousin and every one was in 2008 , at that time there was not even a talk about this marriage i am talking of.

I am making this point because you all will be highly astonished what has happened when people make a mockery of law and how the law’s that have been made for the uplift of women in our society are used for personal gains.. So remember this Point 2008 I had last met my cousin his wife , her brother.

2009 february time the brother got married to a girl who was still studying in the final year, They got married end of february, so after marriage within a week or so she went back to the parents house to prepare for the exams that she had to appear in March, After her exams she came straight to Delhi to stay with her husband. who was still sharing the house with my brother and wife although he had been looking for a apartment all this time, luckily for the new they got a place of their own soon and moved into a new one, this all went on till may-june time.

During all this time the girl had not visited her parents or her in-laws , as they were still admist looking for a new apartment , finding a job , setting up a home etc etc , I mean we all know the drill.

In July something happened I don’t know what , some arguments amongst the husband-wife , whatever , the girl packed her bags and went to her house…

So other than the reason of the argument which I don’t know this is all that has happened, this was followed by the usual boy trying to bring her back, the parents went to bring her back but she did not come at all.

So the girl just spent a few days in the start of her wedding in her in laws house, then the boy left her in her parents house and came to Delhi in april or may whenever the exams finished lets say april.. In July she went back that is may-june-july assuming she went on 31st July .. 3 whole months.

All this trying to patch up things went on for some time, In the end to Cut the story short divorce proceedings started.. which has been going on for long, please don’t ask me the details as I have none and this post is not about that.. NOW the latest I got to know is she has made an allegation that she was BEATEN up badly by her in-laws .. THE police was so quick to react the parents of the boy were arrested and taken to the police station where they spent a night before their lawyer got the bail done..

Other than that also the allegation of dowry which I must say as is a tradition in Punjab, it was one of those hight end weddings where a lot of give and take happened, So fair enough I got no qualms over that the Girls side wants all the dowry back, Which as far as i know has been returned BUT the boy’s side did an Intelligent thing they made sure when they returned the items it was done Via the Court so each and every item was written, but the girls and her parents have left no stone unturned to make false allegations against the family.

I mean when was she beaten in the first 5 -6 days she spent in the in -laws house if that the case then she had gone back to her parents house , WERE THEY BLIND NOT TO SEE THE BRUISES THEN.  After that She never met the in-laws so When did they beat her.  If the husband had beaten her up then again she had packed her bags and gone home again were her parents so blind they did not see their daughter bruised AGAIN.

The reason Why I am writing this note is and I had asked you all to make sure you remember that I had last met my cousin in 2008, Well In the FIR that was lodged where by it was said that she was BEATEN up, GUESS WHOSE NAME is in the list of people who BEAT her .. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS   BIKRAMJIT SINGH MANN’s name and I have not even met the girl , I have not even seen her picture let alone met her.

I got to know of this the other day when I run up home to enquire about land-crop etc from the caretaker, He Told me that Police came LOOKING FOR ME .. He also told me my cousin had been arrested and had to spend a day in jail, SO I rung my cousin who tell’s me don’t come till I say so, because if police comes to know I have come to india I might get arrested .. and I was like WTF.. are they so stupid , I live in UK thousands of miles how the hell did I beat this woman and when did I do that.

How did the Police or law or whatever register the complaint which had my details in it, DID They not enquire who or where I was,  WHen they went to my house to do whatever they went for, they got the details that I live in UK why they still have my name in the list.

Whats more amazing is how did this girl and her family find out my name and details and everything , I mean I am not related to them even, I have met my cousins in-laws only once in my life , when they had come for the last rites of my father in 2007, that was the first and last time I was introduced to them.

Now please people tell me what is this and when I write at other posts as a comment that some people use the change of law to their advantage I got lots of replies which were like taunting me .. Here we go this is a true story lets see how many of those who gave me a thumbs down or wrote those comments against me , I ask them the question What do you have to say about this .. Is this the right way to do things or IS THE WOMAN WHO IS ACCUSING ALL THESE THINGS IS SHE RIGHT in doing what she is doing..

Whatever the reason of their fight may be , if she wants a divorce then why does she not just sign the documents and get it over with move on with her life and lets others move on too, why is she putting these false allegations, even if they are true WHY has she dragged me into it when I don’t even know her.

Thanks everyone for always being there 🙂 Have a great Wednesday…

Nostalgic time , I am a very emotional person and since living in uk for so long I thought i would not get this emotional over a issue of being HOMESICK.. but today of all the days it was one of those days ..

I got up as usual 6am went around doing what i do everyday reached work around 9, the usual good mornings, gossip and all booted my machine and after replying to the work emails, getting the coffee sat down to read a blog.. That made me a bit teary..

I then went to my gmail to check my email, I had a link to a song , I rarely listen to songs at work, dont know why or what made me click the link and after the first 2 or 3 lines on the songs the waterworks started, my collegue was looking at me astonished whats happened a grown man with waterworks.. IT was one of those things where i was not crying but eyes were flooded, i could not stop .. the song went on and i cried …

I am sure you all are wondering what a horrible song it might have been, but beleive me if you listen to it you all will know what i mean..

Reminding me of my friends back home and around the world.. Anup, Babbar,cherry, ravi, vikram, ajay, ashwani ,Handle (bhupi), sandy, chander, Balli, gagan, .. that was a different time when we were in college .. nothing to worry about, having the fun of our lives studying in college well that was the idea to go and study rather it was fun time , no worry about the world, not afraid of anything or anyone  what all we did in those days …

I remember the famous dialogue of Rang de basanti movie that

Inside the gates of college We made life dance on our fingertips and on the other side of the college life has made us ,

and it is making us dance to its tunes .. and we are just dancing no matter what we do just cant stop..  all those big dreams We will do this , the time when 100 stood in front and we are just 10 the ability to say COME ON.. seems to be slowly going away Get tired so soon of the daily problems and tensions in life…

I so want to go back home GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Jsut a few minutes ago one of my friends Vikram came online this is the conversation i had with him

 
Bik: OYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Vikram: yes dear
Vikram: paaajiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Bik: yaar good man
Bik: aj bahut yaad aa rahi si
Bik: yaraaaan di
Bik: and u came
Bik: niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Vikram: I know…same here
Vikram: gana suneya …
Bik: yessssssssss
Bik: chal riha hai
Bik: on a looop
Vikram: Yaar anmulee
Vikram: Asi China ja ke log tang karte..gana baja baja ke
Bik: yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Bik: ey shabaaasheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Vikram: Great song..bahat changa hai
Bik: yes
Vikram: Cheery was just here
Vikram: we were away for coffee
Vikram: just back
Bik: yaar main aa jana india
Vikram: AAAA jaa na
Vikram: Hun tan Babbar vi aa geya chd
Vikram: BALEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Vikram: Tun aa jaaa yaaaar

cud not post all of it got a bit out of hand later… sometimes i feel why am i so , i mean you know  ah well i guess thats who i am good or bad THIS IS ME 🙂

I wish and pray for all you reading may you never have to live away from friends and make new ones,  stay away from the rooots .. its hard very hard .. all these thoughts keep coming to the mind how we celbrated lohri.. the fights and arguments to whose place to celebrate.. on holi which girls house to go to, and embarasse them…  The things we got up to.. THOSE were the days

The Gedi’s in front of the Girls college, the planning to go how to Patao a girl.. nothing use to work 😦

The canteen being the best place the whole day, the samose , the drinking of tea cup after cup…  Cholle Puri 🙂 yummmy , the constant  bickering of the canteen wala asking for money of all that was eaten … 

That reminds me i had started writing about my friends how we met and what we did , I should continue to do so ..  Why do we have to be so far away .. why cant we always stay together ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bade chete aunde ne yaar Anmulle
Hava de Bulle
Si maujaan karde Collegi Pad-de

Oh duniya vakhri si …

Click on the song and if you know punjabi you will enjoyyyy but even if you dont you will understand 🙂

Just want to say I love you all my friends and thanks for always being there .. and to all the new friends I have made here Online , Blogosphere. God bless you all