Archive for the ‘Laughter’ Category

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spicysaturday

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and Now Carry on 🙂

27. Your mom finds you KAMJOR (weakeven if you are overweight

28. When you are unwell the entire family will be of doctor’s.. And then Grand Father will come and say Give him a spoon of Brandy with Hot water 🙂

29. You can speak any language in Punjabi

“Kinni sohni WIND blown-di HAI” (Kinni – How much, Sohni – Beautiful)

30. To err is human but to Burrrrraaaaaaaaaaahhh is punjabi..

burrah

31. After gossiping about someone for hours , you end up saying “SANU KI”

32. TU PUNJ MINT THAER.MAIN ADDE GHANTE WHICH AYYA  (chowla sir’s idea 🙂 )

33. AND the best one is JUGAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD  🙂

What is Jugaad no one knows, but a punjabi can create a jugaad for anything ..  (which reminds me I have a picture for wednesday to post on the same theme.. so Watch out for that .. )

34. Biggest tension is when to eat- what to eat-whom to eat with.  (Indu Mam’s Idea 🙂 )

35 Punjabi kids during a exam ..

question 1. aa v ho gaya (done this one)
question 2. aa v ho gaya (done this one)
question 3. aa v ho gaya (done this one )

and so on ..

but when the result comes .. its OH teri … AA ki ho gaya (OH Damn, How did this happen)…

Ps.  I have been missing in action for a long time, few things keep coming up keeping me away from blogging. Life is happening as they say.  Thank you all for emailing and asking about me, it is much appreciated. THANK YOU ALL.

Drink is equal to YOGA So Please encourage the drinking people

Savasana

Balasana

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana


Marjayasana
.


Halasana

Dolphin


Salambhasana


Ananda Balasana


Malasana


Pigeon

Any one for PUB tonight .. the first round is on ME 🙂 Friday Evening …

Have a Great Weekend Everyone ….

Thanks everyone for always being there 🙂 Have a great Wednesday…

Happy New year EVERYONE..

Posted: January 1, 2011 in funnies, Laughter

Start the year with a laugh…..

*******************************************************************
EK ladki @ railway station
Waiting for 1/2 hr… gets bored

coin nikala, coin weighing machine mein dala…

58 Kgs

coin nikala
Sandal utari, side mein rakhkhi
Coin weighing machine mein dala….

56 Kgs

coin nikala
Jacket utara, side mein rakhkha
coin weighing machine mein dala….

53 Kgs

coin nikala
Dupatta utara, side mein rakhkha
coin weighing machine mein dala….

52 Kgs

OR FIR
Coin khatam!

Side mein baitha bhikari bola…

“Tu chalu rakh. Coin main dalta hun………. ” 🙂

*******************************************************************
(this i had put earlier tooo)

This poem is based on actual events……..

Now this is a story about Manjeet,
Who lived on New York’s 42nd Street.

A hard-core desi with a desi desire,
To control his heat he looked for a Kaur
and started by knocking on his neighbour’s door.

His neighbor was a Vilayatan of Afro descent,
five feet five tall with a Brooklyn accent.

Her name was Myson.
She looked like a Bison,

But that didn’t matter.
Cos our veer Jeeta was fatter!

Jeeta short for Manjeet, was desperate, and he had little choice.
So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice;

“Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari, Meri Heer, Meri Kali!”

She listened to his lines then gave him the crux;
“I’ll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!”

He put on his Brylcream and they started to date.
Jeeta was in love; “Oh, thank-jooooo fate!”

But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl,
She’d smelt the perfume, it was foul!

Her senses were tingling, something was up.
So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup!

She found him quickly in his Pug laal,
Then gave a shriek “OH KALI DE NAAL!” Nee mare marrghay!”

Aunty Bachno raises the alarm;
“Jeeta’s down town with a Kali on his arm!”
“There’s only one way to stop his blunder, I’ll call his mother in district Jallundar!”

When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy!
“Main audhay tukde karke rakh dhongy!”

She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika,
To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta!

As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear,
“Stick to Punjabis!, Main tenoo kinee wari kiha!?”

Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota!
Why didn’t you come to me? I know many Punjabis!

“OK mummy ji, just find me a voti
Who’ll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!”

“My kali friend was a bad move,
She doesn’t even like the Bhangra groove!”

“Serves you right! I’ve told you many times,
Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!”

“I’ll find you a kuree in Englaaand my son,
I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!”

“OH Mummy , get the jalebis, ladoos, patashe, shakar paare.. and lead the way!
Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!”

I’m on my way!

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblence to ME, or anyone else .. Any Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIZENS OF INDIA :


Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.


That’s MUMBAI


————————————————————
Scenario 2


Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on  their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting. 


You are definitely in PUNJAB!!!


————————————————————
Scenario 3


Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.


That’s DELHI


————————————————————
Scenario 4


Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.


That’s AHMEDABAD


————————————————————
Scenario 5


Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes.He writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn’t stop because of a virus in the program.

That’s BANGALORE


————————————————————
Scenario 6


Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that “AMMA” doesn’t like all this nonsense..

Peace settles in…

That’s CHENNAI


————————————————————

Scenario 7


Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who’s right.

You are in KOLKATA


————————————————————
Scenario 8


Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says, “don’t fight in front of my place, go zumwhere else and keep fighting”.

That’s KERALA !


————————————————————

Scenario 09


Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along and declares curfew. All run away in search of way to home.


You are in HYDERABAD THE GREAT!!!


———————————————————— 
And the best one is ….


Scenario 10


Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends.  Cheersssssssssssss




You are in GOA !!!

Add your own 🙂 if any…. Go on.. I am sure you will have loads to talk about some other places….















UPDATE:- oooopsssssssssss I have been informed Just now that a 8 year old also helped his brother the 10 year old to write this lovely poem….

Written in the Stars (Hulk Version)

Written in the Stars
A million miles away
A message sent to earth
For everyone to run away
Oh because of the Hulk
Who needs serious Health Care
Who leaves the world crashing down
And he has Hideous Hair
It is almost Christmas
And the hulk is nearly Dead
All of the newspapers
He has already read
Yesterday he robbed the bank
And stole all of the Dosh
Because he always stank
He was never Posh
Now it is his funeral
And all who was there has a dog
His name was creath
Because he had Stinky Breadth
Now its the End of Our song
Don’t leave it with a Pong
Now we are going to Pass
Because its CHRISTMASSSS

I saw this on DiDo’s Blog :

Rules:
Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, IPOD etc. on shuffle.

For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
1. If someone asks you, “are you okay” you say:

yo! put your hands up,ah! put your hands up! yeah!
put your hands up, pull’em up there… ahaan!
put your hands up, c’mon! put your hands up! c’mon!
put’em up, like you just don’t care…
(Talli Ho Gayi from the movie Ugly Aur Pagli)

2. How would you describe yourself ?

I wanna chiggy-wiggy with you boy I wanna chiggy-wiggy with you boy … (from Movie blue)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl ?

gettin mashed up right now ,all ma alcohol is in da house yo
i m buzzin up am buzzin Ik glassy, doh glassy theen galssy char

4. How do you feel today ?

Yaarian Banayi Rakhi Yaarian,Khusian De Dinaa Ch Nachayi Chal Ve,
Dillan Naal Dillan Nu Milaayi Chal Ve, Yaarian Banayi Rakhi Yaarian
Jazzy B

5. What is your life’s purpose ?

Aaja aaja dil nichode, raat ki matki tode,
Koi goodluck nikaale, aaj gullak to phode :- Dhan te nan from movie Kaminey

6. What’s your motto ?

Lakhaan Chamkare Koke De,Koke De Roop Anoke De,
Lakhaan Sohniyan Suratoan Firdiyan Ney,
Par Koi Na Dil Sada Thug Di,
Jehdi Mittro Bhaal Vich Dil,
Oh Na Kuri Labdi.
Jazzy B

7. What do your friends think of you ?

yaar beli baan baan toliyan rehan bottola Hummer vich kohliya mere modhe te bandook paundi boliyaan…
(all friends together in a group, bottles open in Hummer, rifles on the shoulders …  singing )

8. What do your parents think of you ?
Channa ve ghar aa ja ve .. Channa ve ghar aa ja ve (Now that is nostalgic , Very nice song for the question)

9. What do you think of often ?

Ni akhiyaan ch pa ke akhiyaan, Sanu ishq da Nasha chadha de Ve …

10. What is 2 + 2 ?

Modhe ton tilakda jave, Sataraan wal khave , Dupatta tera Sat rang da …

11. What do you think of your best friend ?

kudi kurmuri hai oye, kudi kurmuri KAre Diwana
Rab ne roob diya mastana
Kuch khati kuch mithi Lagdi angoor da dana …

12. What is your life story ?

Vilayatan ho gai  ve Tere dukhan di maari .. vilayatan ho gai ve

(ha haha ah ah SO RIGHT)

13. What do you want to be when you grow up ?

Singh is king … (wish i am a king  cause already a Singh) he he he

14. What do you think when you see the person you like ?
Get up Get up and dance .. haath hava main aise uthao
taang se tango kar ki dikhao (chandu ke chacha)

15. What will you dance to at your wedding 4th anniversary?

Signal Pyaar ka signal.. Dikha de signal Pyaar ka signal

(I bet she is gonna divorce me right there ) he he hehe

16. What will they play at your funeral ?

Sexy sexy , Koi chanchal haseen Dil doondh raha hai
jo ho anmol nageena dil doondh raha hai Oh yara DHOL BAJA KE

(yess so right have the dhol beating at my funeral )

17. What is your hobby/interest ?

Khanabadosh … London dreams

18. What is your biggest fear ?

Yaar badneetiya tun changi nahin kiti aa, dil sada kita choor choor
(Gurdas Mann)

19. What is your biggest secret ?

Sahiba bani bharavaan di , Bhaiyaan ton yaar marwata ..

(mirza-sahiba, singer Kuldip manak.. Sahiba took her brothers side and got the lover killed)

20. What do you want right now ?

Oh meri Bebo.. yahan mili yahan milii yahan wahan mili
kahan milli kahan milli kahan kaise milli (BEBO)

21. What do you think of your friends ?

Modhiyaan te rakh dangaan aunde gabhru
bhangre ch bakre bulaun gabhru (MIKA)  (Modhiyaan :- shoulder.. Dangaan:-Sticks  Gabhru:-Young men)

22. When you want to rush to the toilet, what do you think ?

Tak Thodi wala Til kudiye, eh Dil tere te aya Patlo

23. Person you hate the most is in front of you, what will you tell the person ?

(OK this is scary now and i did not cheat but how true)

Jehde rakhde ne Pair dohan bediyaan ch langdhe na paar sohniye
Jinne gal de gaani te tere MANKE ohne tere yaar sohniya

(people who put feet in two boats never reach the side, as many perals you got in your necklace that many boyfriends you got)

24. You have just won a lottery. What will you sing ?

Ranjha jogi ho gaya
Kani mundaraan paiyaan he he ehehhe (as such i got one ear piearced)

25. What will you post this as?

Let’s have some raunak shaunak
Let’s have some party now
Let’s have some raula Rappa
Let’s have some dhol dhamaka
Let’s call the dholi now
Let’s have some addi tappa

Chalo chalo ji lak lachka lo
Chalo chalo ji mauj mana lo
Chalo chalo ji nach lo gaa lo
Pakad kisi ki wrist
And we twist
We twist
We twist
We twist