Bibi Ji

One of the most beautiful relationship that a person can have is the one that is shared between a Grandmother and Grandson… Especially with maternal Grandma. My Nani passed away last week at a ripe age of 95, As always each time the phone rings early morning it makes you sit up thinking of the worse and so it was.

So many memories flash by when you hear of someone close passing over, the earliest memories that I have are of my summer vacations spent in the village at my maternal grandparents house.  We use to call my grandma Bibi.

Kids in those days use to be got married off especially girls at a very early age, My mom was only 18 when she was married and funny as it may sound the race to have a male heir for the family name meant try try until you have a male child , so was the case here too ,  Nani had to give birth to 6 girls before she had a male heir, and so it happened that the age difference between me and My Mama (mother’s brother) is almost nothing.

The biggest problem of coming abroad is not to be able to see loved ones at the end that always bothers me and I have had to get through a few of them over the last few years.

Things were not that advanced so everything had to be done manually, filling up of water, preparing food for the farm labourers, taking care of the household work , looking after the household animals, There was always so much work to be done and Nani was always busy doing something or the other.

She was GOOD and when I say good I do mean Good at everything ,  apart from preparing food, I remember her stitching, most of my school shirts/trousers were stitched by her not just mine but the rest of the household too,  other than that the women also had the skills of creating beautiful Phulkari’s , Women had to prepare for their dowry themselves  and by the grace of god (or was it my Grand father’s 🙂 ).. Nani had 6 daughters for whom all the Dowry had to be created, so Nani had a busy time.

I also remember the amount of time that was spent spinning the Charkha to weave thread from cotton,  The thread then used to create the beautiful bed sheets or Shawls and other type of clothes. Women had so much work to do in a day, long long working hours get up very early to make sure everything is set in motion for the day.

Men had it easy I believe as they had only one big thing to look after , tend to the fields all day long every day, I use to laugh with my Nani saying she was a Work horse never got tired, taking care of  such a big household took immense strength and Lot of hard work.

The amount of Desi Ghee, the big dollops of butter on the food I have had growing up, the yummyliscious food cooked with all that love over the fireplace, I remember I use to sit on one side of the Chulha pushing the cotton plant dried sticks for fire, as Nani cooked.

Going to bed and she would bring hot milk and tell stories till we dozed of.  Makes me think how it will be visiting the maternal grandparents house now that they are gone, time will tell.

I miss you Bibi ji world is not going to be the same place anymore.

 

Week 8 :- Express Gratitude to 3 PPL

I have been wondering for a few days now what to say or HOW to express gratitude to those who have influenced me and my life, what words do I use that will do justice to the role they have had, Also how to chose the 3.

I have had a weird life so far, Life as we know has its ups and down, its these ups-downs that make life what it is LIFE and its these Ups and downs that actually make a person A good or a bad person. In all these situations there are people who stand by you or Stood by you, by the grace of God I am one of the luckiest person’s alive , I have had so many good human beings around me who have always helped me or stood by me through all the upheavals , So this is for all of them.

My GrandFather who always believed me whatever I said , even when I was giving him an eyewash to part with 10,000 Rs. so I could join a Computer institute just because girls were there, and a couple of my friends had joined. I cant forget ever how much you pampered me , if i got in trouble (which was often) all you would ask is Have I done something wrong, when I said “NO”, You believed me without a doubt and Stood by me always.

My parents  who again had to go through all the problems because of all the troubles I got myself into, the endless evenings they spent worrying if I will live after some incidents. I do repent doing what I did and maybe if you had not stood by me and shown me the right way I would not be what I am today.

I know I am not the best human being, I have my faults a lot of them. I have hurt so many people over the time, There are those who probably wish me dead and pray the worst for me, but then that I also believe is what makes us human, We are good for some – bad for others.

I wish I could undo what I did but sadly that is not possible, Life is not just weird, its FUNNY also because we end up hurting those who are dear to us , those whom we love the most, How can we be such idiots that we end up hurting them the most.

My friends I am most thankful to , and they deserve a big big gratitude for being with me always, in-spite of knowing what a bad human I am , still being there always, I want to name each one of you but its a LONG Longggggggggg list THANK YOU.

I know I have always said that I will be a friend and yet I have failed you many a times , to you all I also want to say SORRY for being a jerk like that.

I don’t want to mention a name BUT here I want to say to that one person whom I have hurt a LOT, I do wish I had not done what I did. You are the one who gave me unconditional love always and I let you down. I don’t even know how to express my gratitude to you for everything. Maybe someday I will have the courage to say sorry to you in person, maybe.. Maybe just maybe , I love you and will always do till the end of my life, God bless you and may you get all your hearts desires fulfilled.

The following lines Sum up everything in my life ..

Koi kami meri which hovegi kaiyan ton jhootha pai gaya main kaiyaan de man ton leh gaya main oh mere naal de age langh gaye ik ikalla hi piche reh gaya main Koi kami meri which hovegi

Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE Proven a Liar among others Fallen from many people’s grace Many have surpassed me Lone I stand behind Something Lacks in ME FOR SURE

Day 20- Week 3- Family

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 3 is here and the topic is Family

I have a big family, hence i have a lot of people to be thankful to. While I was growing up I have always been taught the values of Family, now grown up I have my own lessons learnt. To me family is most important, when everyone leaves you , when no one has time for you it is family who stands by you always, As they say Blood is thicker than water always.

Yes we have our ups and downs, some nasty experiences with some members of the family have also taught a handy lesson especially when things like property-money come into the picture, but still I do feel that Family is and should mean the most always.

As I have mentioned in a few articles since 17th Dec to 13th jan things have been going very bad and it is usually during the bad times that one tends to realise who is how close to you or who genuinely thinks about you and feels about you, I have been lucky that the phone or the emails or the whatsapp messages have not stopped at all, It never felt that i was alone here in uk or that almost all of the family is back home in India.

I have wished many a times that family was nearby so I could at least sit and Cry my heart out, I have also thought that maybe I need to stop everything i am doing and just go back each time there has always been someone on the other side of the phone ready to listen to me, yes I have friends here but it’s not enough, people have their own agenda here , will give you an example my supposedly BEST FRIENDS in uk came once to see me on the 3rd january and one of them had exactly 6 minutes to spare for me. YET we are the closest or so I thought all these years. Have-not had a Single phone call not that any of that would have helped , All that had to be done had to be done and I did do it all But not having enough family here in UK hurt a lot.

One of the disadvantages of living so far away from family :(.

I mentioned above that I have a big family but sadly now the number is dwindling , many of the older generation have passed away, that’s how life works I guess. I will need to go to India very soon for a few days to fulfil a religious duty and I have promised myself that I am going to Meet EACH AND EVERY member of my family where-ever they are in the country. I am going to forget for the time being the bad blood we have had or spilt especially after my dad passed away, and Just go meet them all and HUG them, Don’t know when the next time will be.

I must say that I am thankful to everyone as each and every member of the family has been so good to me, I am one of the lucky ones who has got Love from everyone, Since I was the first male child in the family I have been spoilt rotten .

My grandfather (both of them)

My Nani spoils me still , I talk to her on phone sometimes she is hard of hearing so can’t understand what I am saying, but she is sweet to say I should shut-up and listen to what she is saying, and she will listen to my replies when I come to see her in India.

My Maasi’s are lovely and my youngest Maasi is so adorable , I made her cry so many times as there is not much of a age difference between us, whenever I went to the village for summer vacation she made sure that i got Hot food, would put an extra dollop of Butter in my food compared to my sister’s or my cousins. The day she got married I remember going up-to her husband and threatening him to make sure he takes care of her or else :0..

All my cousins they are all such lovely human beings, being the eldest had an advantage, in Punjab we have this tradition calling veerji to elder brother, I miss that here in uk not many call me Veerji here. I have bullied my cousins at times, even shouted at them or maybe even slapped but never ever have they retaliated back even now I can vouch they have all grown up to be fine young men and women yet they just listen to my rants when I go on a tangent sometimes.. (Yeah I have my moments too )

I would not have liked to talk about my Chacha(Father’s brother) or Bhua’s (father’s sisters) but that would make me a hypocrite after what i have just written above, They are family too , whatever they have done for obvious reasons after my dad passed away is probably their thoughts, I can’t change that maybe they need the money property etc more than us, so its fine. I still want to say thanks to them because Chachu use to be a good man, he taught me how to ride a scooter and drive a jeep in my early days , he also taught me how to fire a rifle. Bhua’s got married and went to USA, but whenever they came to visit us , they brought a lot of goodies for me jackets,toys, sweets etc. etc. Dont know what has happened to all that love they use to have , maybe something wrong with me , maybe I did something wrong.

My Grandma (Dadi) – I had never ever felt she was my step Grandma, when I was growing up, so much love she had showered upon me, when I was in hostel She would come almost every other weekend to meet me , pampered me , during festivals give me so much money – gifts. My mom was only 16-17 when she had me so its my Grandma who practically raised me as a child, My bhua still complains of the fact that Once me and her daughter were playing in the garden – a snake was seen and my grand ma PICKED me up , running to safety leaving my cousin behind. But again sadly since my grand-pa and my father passed things have changed dramatically, I am no more even welcome to the main house we had when everyone live together.

But still this time when I go , I will make sure I go and take her blessings, even if the other side of the family have threatened to harm me. That doesn’t bother me because my parents my mother and father have always taught me to respect the elders no matter who they are , and the BEST thing they taught me was that no matter what fights the Grown ups had I should always respect them as I did before the fights.

My parents well all i can say is I am thankful they are my parents , WHATEVER,WHOEVER I am is because of them, Whatever I have learned – Earned – Got is all because of all the hard work they both have put in raising me. My parents have both worked very very hard especially since the day they were asked to leave the family house to start in a new house from scratch about a year after my Chacha got married. We started from a humble beginning One room house , as my father did not want to take anything from his father. I have seen some poor times but slowly through hard work my parents raised us. I can proudly say that I have studied in the One of the TOP 5 schools of India in those days.

I am so very thankful to them both, I hope I can live up to their expectations. I pray to god to never let me do anything that would hurt them, and hope sometimes that I have been a good boy in the family and have not hurt anyone deliberately.

I am thankful to god for making sure that I was born in such a beautiful family.

Thursday Challenge (28) :FAMILY

Thursday Challenge :-“FAMILY” (Grandparents, Parents, Children, Family Occasions, Moms with Babies, Animals,…)

I dont have a scanner  so Tried taking a picture from the picture ..  they have not come out brilliant but still …

This weeks Theme has So much to write about , show about, If i started to put a picture/article  for each one it will take me days to put them 😦 ..

I started from the Root of our family my grand parents , next time maybe go on to parents and occassions .. Etc..

Dada Ji and Dadi Ji (the day I bid farewell to them , on my way to delhi and the flight to uk)

My Dada Ji (We had a Akhand path at home when went back for the first time, that day I clicked this pic.)

My Nani Ji (she is sewing my turban that I was to wear next day.. First time i had gone back to india from uk)

Ps:- One of my very good friends in the Blogosphere had This to say about me 🙂 I am blessedddddddddddddddddddddd …

Thank you to everyone who commented there … God bless you all

Thursday Challenge : TIME

Thursday Challenge –  TIME (Hourglass, Clock, Sundial, Calendar, Wristwatch, Old, Young, Aging,…)

(Each crease tells a story of an ERA let alone TIME….. My Nani JI.. Sardarni Harbans kaur Brar)

vo Naani ki baaton mein pariyon kaa deraa
vo Chehre ki jhuriryon mein sadiyon kaa pheraa
bhulaae nahin bhuul sakataa hai koi
vo Chhoti si raaten vo lambi kahaani

(sorry cant translate this in english, you got to figure it out yourself , translation will spoil all the ambience )