Archive for the ‘Feeling Funny’ Category

Lets get rid of the Monday Blues :- Part 1

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to make any personal attacks on any one especially to do with Male-Female issues. It is just a light-hearted post with some pics for Fun on a monday morning. So please DO NOT take it any other way. No offence meant to anyone. PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME those Nasty emails you sent on Part 1, about sexism, Instead you can put a comment here and I shall publish them OR Keep your STUPID – IDIOTIC – CRAPPY thoughts to yourself. PLEASE do NOT LITTER MY INBOX.

To all those who sent the emails, I have Responded to each one of them , do have the courage to reply back too.. 🙂 Thank you , Have a Good day.

I have already got there :(

I have already got there 😦

So what do you plan to do when Internet goes ...

So what do you plan to do when Internet goes …

I still have a couple of those  5 1/2 inch floppies ..

I still have a couple of those 5 1/2 inch floppies ..

Does any one remember those old one where you had TWO floppy disks to boot it, Insert Disk A and then Insert Disk B.. and you got the C:/ 🙂

computersettings 10

computersettings 12

and Last but not the Least ..
computersettings 13

computersettings 11

Have a Great day and the week ahead Everyone …

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Prague

Prague

Very Wordless this one.. Not sure what I can write 🙂 I took this picture in Prague and this was middle of the afternoon We were heading for a event we had booked , When this site greeted us .. and “J” wanted to Pose with the HERO in the pic he he he he 🙂

Ps:- Sorry have not replied to the comment will do as soon , I am not ignoring them 🙂

Especially for the Technologically Retards like ME .. Something that I can understand

YESsssssssssssss PLEASE ...

YESsssssssssssss PLEASE …

oooops

oooops

That surly shows what has happened to me :)

That surly shows what has happened to me 🙂

Now that's how to make best use ..

Now that’s how to make best use ..

ooops INDEED ...

ooops INDEED …

So does any of these pictures remind you all of something.. or like me of yourself 🙂 he he he oooops

More next time 🙂 If you have any share them with us all 🙂

As promised in the previous post , about me and my Stupid posts , I thought to lighten the mood I’ve been thinking of the conversations we have with other people its funny how people respond. This is a very good example that comes to mind if someone asks you what is the most the biggest important cause, Chief Cause of divorces

(before continuing think of it yourself and reply to the question ) ..

I am sure many will say that it was the relationship between the couple.. and plenty of more reason. Each reason is a valid one for sure.. but my dear friends here is a point to think about.. To me

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
marriagecause

Ok tell me if I am wrong 🙂

Moving on, I am sure everyone reading this note would also have heard the famous proverb that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but is it true – Does it hold true to all situations , not always because The light at the end of the Tunnel could be the lights of a TRAIN coming towards you at full speed, that changes the whole meaning of the proverb.

Does it not?

and oh boy you are buggered because you are in the middle of the tunnel as in your eagerness to go towards that Light , which is at the end of the tunnel , you were running .. that surly is a oooops moment
lightendoftunnel
Tell me if I am wrong 🙂

Another thing , of which I am equally guilty is telling people to smile , I say it a lot SMILE .. Smileeeeeeeeee and the world smiles with you.

Now imagine this scenario, There you are Walking up or down the road depending on what you are doing , going out of the house or coming inside the house.. Because depending on that you will either be GOING UP the road or GOING DOWN the road 🙂 (I bet you are ready to kill me here now).. anyway

where were we yeah on the road , all dressed up .. That again can be a UP or DOWN .. you can dress Up or Dress DOWN 🙂

Right… So you see every person who is coming your way smiling .. NOW frankly it would probably be ok for the first couple of times but suddenly it will become a bit of What the hell moment , I am sure you will be thinking .. is that person genuinely smiling .. Should you be smiling back at them .. or is that person Smiling at YOU.

Because if he is genuinely smiling then maybe he believes in the proverb that smile and the world smiles with you .. BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT and then the OH MY GOD moment when you will try to figure out what is wrong with you, what have you done .. have you got your hair in shambles , is some clothing off (remember the dressing up and down I was talking above),

you know it could be anything .. so here’s a naughty thought .. from now on say

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 🙂

smilethinking

Last but not the least, another thought and I am sure everyone reading this would have heard it all before too.. why do people say, and I have seen big slogans too that Alcohol doesn’t solve problems well if you think and give it a GOOD THINK..

neither does Milk

alcoholmilk
.. so why are there no posters saying Milk doesn’t solve any problems

Right I am off before someone takes offence in this politically correct rich world and takes me on.. moreover don’t want to use up all my thoughts in one post and then wonder what to right next..

Disclaimer: This is a repost, as in the previous one this part got lost I think.. So sorry if you are reading it again .. You can see how I am trying my best to write something and not coming up with anything.

Shopping.. I had a funny experience when I was going to buy my shoes , Never go for shopping with your partner-gf-wife-mother or even a female friend, I have my reasons oh BOY what a mistakeeeeeeee… They stand there , looking at you.. and make you wear the Shoe and Ask you “TO WALK UP AND DOWN”..

imagesshoes

Now THIS WALK is That walk, that No man will ever walk once he gets out of the shop,  you know the one I mean where we walk bending the toes or the shoe forwards to check if it bends properly, (which man ever walks like that generally, bending their foot).. Then we might be asked to even sit down and Feel the Toe’s inside , Wiggle your Toe.. pinch the top of the shoe to see if there is enough space between the tip and the big toe.. When you do that YOU have this EXCITED look on your face

“Oh yes I can feel the Toe.. ” .. it is right there where it should be , well all normal humans have them

         On your foot  .. Inside your SHOE.

because that’s where THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

and then you stand in front of the mirror to check how they look, We always look from the SIDE, Now tell me do you ever see other people in their shoes walking towards you and YOU WATCHING THEIR SHOE FROM THE SIDE..

Your friend is approaching you, and as he comes you are stepping sideways to get an angle of the SIDE OF THE SHOE.. have you every done that , how do you do that.. you always see the front .. and the sides that you WILL never ever see for as long as you have those shoes .. I mean why Oh why do we do that ..

The Funniest part is that , the shop people always give you ONE shoe, you have one old shoe (which you obviously now hate as you are getting new ones) and New Shoe, (the beauty and the beast scenario).. and you are walking up down the shop.. This is still OK.. but sometimes you Take both your old shoes off, Have just ONE new shoe walking , that is a funny walk indeed from far it looks as if you have a LIMP. This was my experience But what about the Ladies who have Hundred inches tall Heels, imagine them trying that walk in just one sandal 🙂

The same also happens when we buy new trousers .. you wear them and then you try to squat and what not .. I mean how many times have men bought trousers and squatted while wearing them, In the Shop we do different movements just to make sure the trousers fit us properly, Why can’t we just go and try them on as we would wear them normally, isn’t that more important 🙂

.. FUNNY things we do……..

The Shop people are also Very intelligent, They always design their Shop in a way to attract people to Buy things which they have not come to buy, Like for example have you ever noticed that this is especially for men, that the Beer or Alcohol corner always comes first , right before household stuff or WORSE its right before the Children Nappies etc section .. The mentality being that if a man comes to buy lets say Nappies or Milk then he will also see the ALCOHOL and just might buy some for the lovely weekend that has been predicted 🙂

The good stuff or the Fresh stuff like the Bread or cereals will always be on the last counter.. you have to walk all through the shop to get there .. All the Junk food will be right there in the front , staring at you .

Also as you are checking out they will always have a rack of sweets,chocolates,crisps Everything that is NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH right there , just in case you have forgotten to buy , you can buy more junk on the way out, or if you have kids they can scream their head off to buy those sweets .. Why cant the shop guys put healthy food there , some fruits etc.

and then another thing is Why do supermarkets make the sick, walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. I mean you enter a super market the Counter for Tobacco or cigarettes are mostly in the front at least much more ahead of the pharmacy.. .. Oh I guess they want people to buy it and then have a nice little stroll to the pharmacy while have that Smoke .. ahh Bliss .

So what have your experiences been..

ps:- Photos courtesy Google.

Have you been to the new fancy malls that have come up all over our nation especially to the ones where escalators work, the reason I say is I went to about 2 or 3 Malls in Punjab, Bhatinda to be precise, none of the escalators were working, maybe to save energy or fuel or whatever escalators use to work 🙂 , you can see I am not an engineer.. So why do these malls spend so much money on having escalators when they have them shut and expect people to climb up the stairs, because have you seen the height of the STEP it is usually higher than normal steps, which means you have to put in more energy to climb them , Personally I feel it is a good idea as we could or I could do with some exercising , lose some of those extra calories which I keep adding on every now and then ..  

Coming back to Escalators I think the Reason why escalators were built was to help shoppers , to make sure they don’t get too tired walking , they have more energy to visit more shops, shoppers don’t have to walk too much.. AM I RIGHT .. there could be other reasons but I am not that intelligent 🙂

If you go to big malls which has a lot of escalators, it is funny if you just stand and watch people get on-down from them, I know I know you all have a lot of other important things to do then spend time watching people do that 🙂 but do sometimes ..

escalator-oml-e0283

I went to a mall one of the days and found a few funny things taking place, The first thing I noticed was what a silly way the escalators were designed, the whole idea of having escalators is so shoppers don’t have to walk too much or exercise too much .. I hope I can explain it properly, This is how they were I can best explain , you entered the Mall and go up the escalator First floor , then you had to walk all the way to the other side .. to go from first floor to the Second floor.. and so on till Floor 6th..

I found it weird because If I have to go to the sixth floor , I have to do that 5 times .. I mean why can’t they have escalators that go to a floor above, you turn around and there is another set going up.. then when you are coming down you have all the way Down the same way, This will also take care of Human traffic people wont keep on banging into each other trying to reach the other side of the floor to go Up or down..

.. the whole idea of escalators is so people don’t have to walk .. yet they make us walk..

Another thing I noticed was that people sometimes CHOOSE the step they want to get on  “Not this one .. No not this one either “.. the next one looks much nicer .. They choose a stair.. yes THAT ONE.. I  thought I was going to get crushed standing behind this couple , who were doing exactly that. They fell in love with one Step and off they went .. But funnily when they have to get off , they panic again ..

We had a lady in that panic situation who had a nightmare trying to get on to the step, the people with her would get on and she was left behind .. then I think They would come down and again cajole her to get up .. It was funny watching 🙂 Finally she took the escalator, I could see she had GRASPED the sides SO HARD.. that her arm was getting left behind as the escalator was going up.. She would Leave the side and then GRASP it again a bit ahead.. then the problem came to get off.. ooops.. the floor was Eating up the Stairs.. so she was climbing one step up each time..

assets-2014-o31zg2g_204414250

I know I should not be laughing but secretly I was smiling my head off watching the poor lady .. This actually reminded me of when my parents came over for the First time to UK to visit me, they were going to go on an Escalator for the First time in their life, and what a pallava it was, My Mom was hilarious, especially in london when we had to go underground to catch the tube, My Mom refused at one stage to go down it was to the second level, So it was a No win situation if we had to go up , it was via escalators – of if we had to go down it was again Escalators.. we had to go one way , IT was me who panicked because I did not know how to take her down, she is not light either , he he he he.. but thankfully we managed to travel .. and WE did NOT end up like this .. phewwwwwwwwwwwwww

escalator-600

Right so this was escalator bit , I know nothing funny about it ,Now coming to Shopping.. I had a funny experience when I was going to buy my shoes , Never go for shopping with your partner-gf-wife-mother or even a female friend, I have my reasons oh BOY what a mistakeeeeeeee… They stand there , looking at you.. and make you wear the Shoe and Ask you “TO WALK UP AND DOWN”..

imagesshoes

Now THIS WALK is That walk which is A WALK, that No man will ever walk once he gets out of the shop,  you know the one I mean where we walk bending the toes or the shoe forwards to check if it bends properly, (which man ever walks like that generally, bending there foot).. Then we might be asked to even sit down and Feel the Toe’s inside , Wiggle your Toe.. pinch the top of the shoe to see if there is enough space between the tip and the big toe.. When you do that YOU have this EXCITED look on your face

“Oh yes I can feel the Toe.. ” .. it is right there where it should be , well all normal humans have them

         On your foot  .. Inside your SHOE.

because that’s where THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

and then you stand in front of the mirror to check how they look, We always look from the SIDE, Now tell me do you ever see other people in their shoes walking towards you and YOU WATCHING THEIR SHOE FROM THE SIDE.. how do you do that.. you always see the front .. and the sides that you WILL never ever see for as long as you have those shoes .. I mean why Oh why do we do that ..

or are you checking them up because of the pet you have home who has this habit of coming running towards you and they come and hug your leg.. They might see it from the SIDE.. the NEW SHOE..

The same also happens when we buy new trousers .. you wear them and then you try to squat and what not .. I mean how many times have men bought trousers and squatted while wearing them .. FUNNY things we do……..

ps:- Photos courtesy Google.

Right Continuing from my  previous post about airports and let’s go ahead and discuss some experiences , as such its the new year and many of you would have travelled to go out and about..

After the heartbreak of Not finding Gate No. 1 and then trudging along the corridors to reach the gate where We will be boarding the plane , Another things greets us ..

Which is AGAIN A big QUE..

I have a question here.. We checked in the people on the desk checked our Passport , Gave us the boarding pass .. We walk towards the departure lounge, as we enter there is someone always on the desk who will check our Boarding pass and/or the passport ..  so this is the Second time it has been checked..

Get to the Security to find another Que of people waiting to pass through the metal detectors, half undressing , Taking shoes off, jackets off, belts off.. I mean wont it be better if they have a room that you need to pass through, naked.. it will clear all doubts of everyone.  Most of the time they already have us half Undressed ..

I have always had incidents at that point, especially when I am boarding from India, You stand in a que, Take your shoes off, belt off , jackets off, anything in the pockets go to the tray , Pass through the detector and it HAS TO BEEP.. I have never managed to go through it ever when it has not beeped.  a Point to remember here is there is only one way inside , SO you have to go through this detector ALWAYS..

So you go through Beep beep beep the red sirens start to work, The handsome young Officer on the other side is waiting with his , hand held metal detector , which he moves all over your body again.. I mean what is the difference of doing that again.. The metal detectors has already gone off, why do they need to do it again.. Anyway then you are hand frisked, Nothing is found on you .. thank god for that .. What happens next this officer Stamps your boarding pass, he checks it again .. (THIRD TIME)..

He does not tell you that he has to stamp it, you are supposed to know that , the labels on your hand luggage also need to be stamped.. if you pick your stuff early .. its your fault.. NOW hold on a Minute How is it that Stamping that label makes it all safe..  The reason I am mentioning this is because, maybe I was too eager to get into the plane , I picked my hand bag too early, The officer did not  have the courtesy to let me know that it is important, so like an Idiot I walked up to the Gate, ANOTHER security officer there informs me , I have to go all the way back to get it stamped.. What a waste of time.. I have been through security and all, Anyhow go through the Same DRILL again . so it is stamped all the while the officer standing there has this Stupid Smirk on his face..

They are supposed to be helping the people,  Yes they are their for Security too BUT I am sure they need to be a bit more friendly too, Dont you think.. If I did something like this here I will be pulled up.

The point I wanted to make is How does it make it MORE SECURE.. that stamp on the label ..

Anyhow you reach the Gate which is another Big DRAMA.. your flight is announced the people at the Gate are speaking loudly for everyone to hear , where they tell the Seat numbers they want first to board.. does anyone bother Nooooooooooooooo… you know why Because of that Overhead locker space .. everyone wants to Rush so they can put their stuff and Take over the lockers of others too.. I have already mentioned that .. BUT before you do that what happens .. Can you guess ..  come on

The security at the Gate ALSO checks your passport and Boarding pass.. (Fourth Time) .. you walk to the gate of the Aeroplane , the charming ladies welcoming you,  also want to have a look at the boarding pass that is the FIFTH time .. so you see till you are sitting on that seat documents are rechecked and Checked all the time .. 🙂 they don’t trust us Do they ..

So Thankfully by now we take our seats , getting ready for the flight everyone is settling down ..  GUESS WHAT HAPPENS .. the captain or the pilot comes on the Tannoy and says the same thing …

” We are running a bit late, and WE are having to make up some time ” . WEEEEEEEEEE I think…

How can it be WE.. WHATTTTTTTT the HELL .. HOW CAN IT be WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, How can they make it as if its our fault .. I WAS HERE THREE HOUSE AGO CAPTAIN.. Dont involve me in your office politics or whatever it is .. it is not WE its YOU.

Also on second thoughts what do they mean they are going to make up time, what is that make up some time .. does that mean they will go faster .. so right, they are going to do us a favour .Normally they go slow but today they will go a bit faster .. WELLL IF YOU HAVE THE FACILITY TO GO FASTER, THEN USE IT ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEE

I forgot at the check-in, the staff asks you a typical STUPID question , and they probably ask everyone ..  HAS ANYONE Put anything in your bag , without You knowing it..

HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD WILL I KNOW ????

How do you answer that question.. How do I know if someone has put anything in my bag without me knowing about it :), but Still we all reply it in one word “NO”…

And then you reach the destination, you have booked this posh hotel for your stay, you are on a holiday.. to reach here you have packed your bags , you put them in the CAR , you reach the airport and you take your bags off, you take them to check-in, you put your hand luggage in the trolley and are taking it all the way , picking it up and putting it down , you reach the destination and you do the same drill and come out of the airport ..

you put the luggage in the car and reach your hotel .. and THERE IS THIS MR. HELP standing who will Roll your luggage 20 feet or maybe 50 feet asking us “I carry your bags for you SIR”..

WHAT THE HELL.. I carried my bags half the way around the world and he wants to carry it 10 feet for a TIP..

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU EARLIER…... I can bloody well handle my luggage to my room ..

THANK YOU THE VERY MUCH..

and guess what you are the worst guest that hotel ever got 🙂 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!