Archive for the ‘Feeling Funny’ Category

Wow February is already here , A month has already gone in the new year. Time is definitely flying, so without wasting any more time let me just post this post else it will be Christmas again..  Last Christmas I had put some questions here are the answers to those as they came out of the Crackers 🙂 Hope you like them all

1. What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

2. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

(Rekha , you almost got it 🙂 and Santa Holmes is also a brilliant answer) 🙂

3.  What is the best Christmas Present in the World ?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

4. Did Rudolph go to School ?
No. He was Elf-taught! 

5. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

6. What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating ?
He pulled a cracker!

7. What does Santa do with fat elves ?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

8. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

9. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A Do-you-think-he-saur-us.

and the Last One…

10. Where does Santa go when he’s sick?
To the elf centre!

A Bonus one 🙂 

11. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less!

Hope Everyone has had a Brilliant January, Here’s  wishing the best for the Rest of the 2018.. 

Here we are Christmas EVE.. 🙂 Tomorrow is Christmas .. So here’s wishing all my readers and everyone who visit here.. wish you all a

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE ..

From the bottom of my heart .. and so does  ME and My Random Thoughts

At our Christmas lunch , collected a few Christmas funnies that pop out of the crackers ..

cracker

So have a go at them and enjoy the day ..

1. What do you call Father Christmas in the beach??

2. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

3.  What is the best Christmas Present in the World ?

4. Did Rudolph go to School ?

5. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
 ?

6. What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating ?

7. What does Santa do with fat elves ?

8. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

9. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

and Last but not the least ..

10. Where does Santa go when he’s sick?

Have a Great day tomorrow and I hope and wish Santa brings all the happiness and everything that each of you has wished for ..

Let me share one of my favorite songs too ..

 

What are your favorite Christmas songs ..

PS. A small lecture before I leave .. Please Dont Drink and Drive., Have a Safe Celebration.

 

I have been really bad with this A to Z challenge, missing Days -Missing Alphabets but I just cant seem to do it correctly.

3ed1f-g

Anyway right how many of you have used or Have checked Google Earth.. I am sure we all have at some point done it , before I go on to the point that I think is funny let me tell you that  It took a long ..  long time to make.. they spent months and months photographing the roads.. Each road was photographed and then somehow they were all put together.

It is awesome .. and its fantastic.. I got very excited when I first saw the application , downloaded it all .. you go on to the computer and you grab the little man and drop him .. and it takes you to the road.

It is amazing..

and here is the fun part when it begins 🙂  so we switch on our highly sophisticated computer or laptop, sitting in our house .

You are thinking where can I go .. We can go any where in the world .. ANY WHERE .. The key word here is ANY WHERE ..

But what do we do,  where do we all go on the first try..

OH YES

OUR OWN HOUSE  (now tell me , how many of us did that.. I bet EVERYONE)

even though at that particular time,  you are sitting in your own very house .. Inside the Room of your OWN very house..

It will be far easier to get up.. walk out  and LOOK AT YOUR HOUSE .. a LIVE 3D image of  your very own house 🙂 

Anyhow not only that  you will do all the dramatics to reach your house, go up and down the street instead of landing directly on your house.. you have to move around this way that way  , Till you are right there ..

WHERE IS IT ..

oh yes THERE IT IS .. MY HOUSE ON GOOGLE EARTH awwwwwwwwwwww 🙂 I am so happy 

Then you shout to someone in the house  .. come and look come and look

awwwwww thats my car near my house .. then it suddenly dawns on you ..  But that’s the green colour, I don’t have a green one .. I have a red one and mine is a Mitsubishi .. this looks like a BMW or a MERC..

Who was that in my house .. I don’t recognise the car,  I want to know what time the picture was taken,  who was that in the car Whose car is it .. was the person inside my house .. Or did they just park in front of the house ..

ahmm ahmm fishy fishy  who – why – what could possible it mean 🙂   I leave you with your imagination now he he he he ..

So who all have tried Google Earth 🙂

HELLO everyone lately I have been bad at blogging , Don’t have much to write about these days and am trying my best to get back into the groove. Trying to catch up with all the old blogger friends and hoping against hope that they remember me too :). So Hello to all you out there who still remember me and those who have forgotten well Good job, you are not missing anything 🙂

I have no idea how many times over the last few years I have tried to get back or said HELLO again and again but then the reason for that is, I don’t like to say good-bye , I hate it , prefer saying See you, because who know where when one gets to meet again.

I love saying HELLO🙂 .

Why the word HELLO was invented, all those years back who thought or made the word HELLO, Why is HELLO the word that signifies a HELLO.

I have a theory, yes I know those who know me will say here we go again, I always have something to say 🙂 I think that the word hello was invented for this one only moment..

to start a conversation.. It was invented because when Mr. Bell invented the phone there was a need for everyone to pick the phone when it rang and say something..

What would be that FIRST word that one will say, there was nothing else to say .. so HELLO was invented, so people knew what to say instead of AHOY 🙂 OR YO.. or something else.

Here is something that I have noticed, maybe others have noticed too people have this habit, especially old people, they will say HELLO and then repeat the number ..

you ring

They say “Hello — 0203546363”..

You are thinking “YES I KNOW” .. I dialled that number .. You don’t open your door and say HELLO and repeat the house address.. it’s the same principle ..

or Sometimes they will ask “What number have you dialled “.. Well here is a theory if your phone is ringing and you have picked the phone, it is not ROCKET SCIENCE as to what number the other person has DIALLED. is there .. it is YOURS .. the same number of the phone that you have just picked and said “HELLO”

SO then all you lovely people what do you say when the phone rings and you pick it up..

tringg tringgg .. pick up your phone …

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On a complete tangent here is something to think off.. WHICH person thought or gave the idea of having the Emergency number as 999.. Imagine in the good old days when they had the phone where you had to pull the numbers all the way. To dial 999 it would have taken the Longest time.. 🙂 instead of 111…

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Here is another thought , I was in Scotland a few months back and found this myself

Did you know Scotland has its own money.. I mean they have same currency Pounds but they have the their own money, They have same notes but designed differently, Maybe They don’t want to deal in with English money

BUT here is a thought if you are listening the Business news .. imagine the funny part where they are telling the exchange rate 🙂 Today the 1st September 2015 the exchange rate is…

one Pound to the POUND 🙂

ok ok BAD JOKE I know .. but as I said getting there slowly 🙂 I am sure you can bear with this one …

How are you ALL DOING ….

1 to 8 You can read here
spicysaturday

9 to 17 You can read here

18 to 26 You can read here
and Now Carry on 🙂

27. Your mom finds you KAMJOR (weakeven if you are overweight

28. When you are unwell the entire family will be of doctor’s.. And then Grand Father will come and say Give him a spoon of Brandy with Hot water 🙂

29. You can speak any language in Punjabi

“Kinni sohni WIND blown-di HAI” (Kinni – How much, Sohni – Beautiful)

30. To err is human but to Burrrrraaaaaaaaaaahhh is punjabi..

burrah

31. After gossiping about someone for hours , you end up saying “SANU KI”

32. TU PUNJ MINT THAER.MAIN ADDE GHANTE WHICH AYYA  (chowla sir’s idea 🙂 )

33. AND the best one is JUGAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD  🙂

What is Jugaad no one knows, but a punjabi can create a jugaad for anything ..  (which reminds me I have a picture for wednesday to post on the same theme.. so Watch out for that .. )

34. Biggest tension is when to eat- what to eat-whom to eat with.  (Indu Mam’s Idea 🙂 )

35 Punjabi kids during a exam ..

question 1. aa v ho gaya (done this one)
question 2. aa v ho gaya (done this one)
question 3. aa v ho gaya (done this one )

and so on ..

but when the result comes .. its OH teri … AA ki ho gaya (OH Damn, How did this happen)…

Ps.  I have been missing in action for a long time, few things keep coming up keeping me away from blogging. Life is happening as they say.  Thank you all for emailing and asking about me, it is much appreciated. THANK YOU ALL.

I hate going to doctors but as many of you already know I have had to visit the GP a lot of times recently due to one reason or the other, I found the below picture very amusing , could not figure out what they were trying to tell us .. Have a look

do they mean that people between 71 and 77 are immune to shingles ..

20150105_104444

Update 03=01-2015..
One of my readers pointed out that i need to amend the disclaimer..

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblance to ME, or anyone else. Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, NO SIMILARITY TO ANY CASTE-CREED-RELIGION-NATIONALITY is INFERRED... No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

This has become a tradition of sorts I post a funny joke or poem each year as the first post of the year, This is the 4th year of blogging on wordpress, the last Two days have been one of the worst starts a person can have for a new year, I am wondering now how the rest of the year will be ..but more on that later… So here is a lovely funny poem which i have now posted a few times and sorry if you are having to read it again 🙂 and I do hope that you find it funny too..

Now this is a story about Manjeet,
Who lived on New York’s 42nd Street.

A hard-core desi with a desi desire,
To control his heat he looked for a Kaur
and started by knocking on his neighbour’s door.

His neighbour was a Vilayatan of Afro descent,
five feet five tall with a Brooklyn accent.

Her name was Myson.
She looked like a Bison,

But that didn’t matter.
Cos our veer Jeeta was fatter!

Jeeta short for Manjeet, was desperate, and he had little choice.
So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice;

“Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari, Meri Heer, Meri Kali!”

She listened to his lines then gave him the crux;
“I’ll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!”

He put on his Brylcream and they started to date.
Jeeta was in love; “Oh, thank-jooooo fate!”

But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl,
She’d smelt the perfume, it was foul!

Her senses were tingling, something was up.
So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup!

She found him quickly in his Pug laal,
Then gave a shriek “OH KALI DE NAAL!” “Nee main marrjaan!”

Aunty Bachno raises the alarm;
“Jeeta’s down town with a Kali on his arm!”
“There’s only one way to stop his blunder, I’ll call his mother in district Jallundar!”

When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy!
“Main audhay tukde karke rakh doongi!”

She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika,
To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta!

As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear,
“Stick to Punjabis!, Main tenoo kinee wari kiha!?”

Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota!
Why didn’t you come to me? I know many Punjabis!

“OK mummy ji, just find me a voti
Who’ll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!”

“My kali friend was a bad move,
She doesn’t even like the Bhangra groove!”

“Serves you right! I’ve told you many times,
Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!”

“I’ll find you a kuree in Englaaand my son,
I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!”

“OH Mummy , get the jalebis, ladoos, patashe, shakar paare.. and lead the way!
Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!”

I’m on my way!

SO how is it going guyssssssssssssss..

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblance to ME, or anyone else. Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

Lets get rid of the Monday Blues :- Part 1

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to make any personal attacks on any one especially to do with Male-Female issues. It is just a light-hearted post with some pics for Fun on a monday morning. So please DO NOT take it any other way. No offence meant to anyone. PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME those Nasty emails you sent on Part 1, about sexism, Instead you can put a comment here and I shall publish them OR Keep your STUPID – IDIOTIC – CRAPPY thoughts to yourself. PLEASE do NOT LITTER MY INBOX.

To all those who sent the emails, I have Responded to each one of them , do have the courage to reply back too.. 🙂 Thank you , Have a Good day.

I have already got there :(

I have already got there 😦

So what do you plan to do when Internet goes ...

So what do you plan to do when Internet goes …

I still have a couple of those  5 1/2 inch floppies ..

I still have a couple of those 5 1/2 inch floppies ..

Does any one remember those old one where you had TWO floppy disks to boot it, Insert Disk A and then Insert Disk B.. and you got the C:/ 🙂

computersettings 10

computersettings 12

and Last but not the Least ..
computersettings 13

computersettings 11

Have a Great day and the week ahead Everyone …

Prague

Prague

Very Wordless this one.. Not sure what I can write 🙂 I took this picture in Prague and this was middle of the afternoon We were heading for a event we had booked , When this site greeted us .. and “J” wanted to Pose with the HERO in the pic he he he he 🙂

Ps:- Sorry have not replied to the comment will do as soon , I am not ignoring them 🙂

Especially for the Technologically Retards like ME .. Something that I can understand

YESsssssssssssss PLEASE ...

YESsssssssssssss PLEASE …

oooops

oooops

That surly shows what has happened to me :)

That surly shows what has happened to me 🙂

Now that's how to make best use ..

Now that’s how to make best use ..

ooops INDEED ...

ooops INDEED …

So does any of these pictures remind you all of something.. or like me of yourself 🙂 he he he oooops

More next time 🙂 If you have any share them with us all 🙂