Archive for the ‘Cousins’ Category

Weekend I was away and had gone to meet my cousin and his wife who have recently got married and trying to settle in UK, They had come with a group of students to do nursing about 5 years ago, got there degrees. got jobs and Settled here. I use to laugh with my cousin cause he was the only male nurse and the house they had hired had 4 girls and him alone.. (oooooh , though he did not like the idea later on ). Slowly as with everything people moved here and there , He fell in love with a girl and two years ago they got married.

But this note is not about them, Now they have a friend lets call her “X” who has been sharing the house with them since the day they all came to uk, before that too in india they were all together, its like family with her now,”X” is educated , completed her degree and has a job in the national health service. Last year her parents decided to get her married… 

As usual a rishta came from a very close relative of a Boy who was Handsome, Good Looking , Very humble, Intelligent blah blah blah , it was as if he lacked nothing, the only thing was he had failed in 10th class exams and had come back from dubai after working as a carpenter. OK no worries I am all for seeing the good , so what if he was uneducated.. what irked me the most was “X”  is educated why did she say yes to the rishta.. I am sure there are enough educated people, I guess the peer pressure and the age-old problem we have the girl is getting older (she is only 26)..  had a lot of influence on the decision.

So she got married every thing fine, the marriage was in india, I did not go to the wedding, she stayed with the guy for 3 weeks before she was to come back for her job, then the process started of getting the guy here to uk, the first time the visa got rejected , so we went for an appeal, thankfully the visa was granted, and in december 2010 the guy came to uk.

For some reason or the other I did not ever meet him as they live about 4 hours drive from where I live.  I am a very outgoing person and I respect my relations a lot ,”X” calls me Veerji as in elder brother and when you know someone for so long they are family, I was looking forward to meeting her husband. 

I reached  my cousin’s house friday late night , went in and as usual I asked the whereabout of this guy, to be told that he has been asked to leave or sent packing more like it for almost a month now .. and then started the stories what this so-called Quiet, handsome, good-looking .. Sau Munda , had been up to. To my horror he was torturing “X”. Since everyone was working odd times he would pick his time .. Torturing her when she was alone…

Asking her for money.. Asking her to get a new house.. so much so demanding here to give the car keys as he wanted to go for a ride.. I was shocked when ever I had called on phone they would say he is very quiet, doesn’t talk much.  NO wonder he did not.  My cousin also got him a job within 3 weeks of him coming here , a DECENT one he was getting around a Thousand pounds a month which is a lot of money in this part of the world.

He even got a Knife out and threatened to kill her or himself and then Hit her too, I MEAN WHAT THE HELL.. I must tell you here I had a fight with”X” why did she not call, the moment he hit for first time she should have called I would have sorted this $%£$%^ like anything, I mean in spite of me asking continuously she could not answer me , as to why was she bearing this for 3 -4 months that he was here all she said was at time she picked the phone or tried sending me a message but never sent it through.

Why would someone bear this,  This left me a bit disturbed what sort of Psycho people are out there who treat another human being like that .. and PLEASE for the sake of GOD all those who will come out with this man woman theory , how woman are not treated equally Please don’t … 

All this had come out a month ago, my cousin had come to visit me with his wife for 6-7 days, things got worse than as “X” was alone at home, so when my cousin returned he was told , He is like me  immediately called the police and the Guy was asked to vacate the house and “X” could accompany him if she wanted to, THANK GOD “X” took a stand that day and refused to go out, she did not want anything to do with this guy so the guy has been sent back to india.

NOW this Guys Mother and sister I can’t tell you what all theories they have come out why their brother has been sent packing.  According to them its all “X” fault she should have adjusted, I mean they are themselves Women don’t they see how their son is, The mother further added that the son did good, she will find another Wife for her precious son.

When told the son hit “X”, the mother replies that its early days once they get to know each other better the son will be fine, “X” should make more effort.

The son had not told his parents he has been asked to leave , he told them he came on his own, so the Mother says he should have stuck it out for 2 more years and divorced “X” once he got permanent residency in UK. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT.. what sort of women is that..

What made me laugh the most this guys mother asking “X” parents to return all the gifts exchanged at the wedding, The sister then says “X” was having an affair with my cousin. 

This went on for 2-3 weeks, now they want “X” to give their son a second chance HELLO, did I hear right.. he lands in UK, I will F____ break his legs, and they want a second chance.. How will they like if their daughter is treated like that by her husband.  Hypocrite people. 

I could see the pressure on “X”, it’s so much, thankfully her parents have left the decision to her and side with her on this, which is again a miracle cause usually parents don’t side. 

Me and “X” had a heart to heart discussion on this, I told her that I support her, given her my phone number in case they don’t stop ringing her from india, But I have this funny feeling peer pressure.  I have told her point-blank that if she gives him a second chance or want to live with the guy then she will have to go on her own. I hope I gave her the correct advice.

It amazes me what people do and what does it mean to get married or about the promises people make to each other ..  I am horrified at the way people think god knows how many people are there who think this way ..

Jab main chotha bacha tha badi sharaarat karta tha.. He he he

This is a story. A Story of Two cousins let’s call them B and R. I was in second year of my college. My cousin had come over to Chandigarh to study and along came his bike: a beautiful Yamaha Rx 100 Silver. THOSE WERE THE DAYS… Are they still around? The bikes? No idea. Anyway not deviating…

Well, it so happened that this cousin later went back to Gujarat for pursuing his education, but he left his bike back. Fun time for me, I had the choice of changing my vehicle to go to college. Then came the news that the bike needs to be sent back. Another cousin of mine had come to pick it up and book it on a cargo train to be sent.

But the DEVIL MIND woke up… Noooooooooooo!! 

 Cargo? Book on a train? WHAT’S THAT? Never heard of it…

So the scheming began on how to make sure that we don’t have to book the bike but instead drive it all the way. CAN YOU IMAGINE the thrill of it?? Well the first things we did was (we were intelligent after all) got the bike checked; oil, tyres etc. We went to Chandigarh railway station (well that’s what we told my dad). While we were supposed to be at railways station, we were sitting in Hot millions II.

As we came out, my grand-dad was coming down from a showroom, he asked what we were doing. I replied “Daddy we just came to get the bike checked so it was fine when it reached.” An hour later came home to announce, “CHANDIGARH DOES NOT DO BOOKING OF CARGO. The Guy at the ticket office said it will have to be done from DELHI.”

Parents they are so nice and good. Their kids won’t lie to them. I was the good child. 🙂 So, it was decided that we will ride the bike to Delhi, book it on a train and take a train ourselves for Gujarat.

We were so bad, Parents were good. So, we left. So let’s assume its Friday afternoon. We left for Delhi Railway station to get the bike booked. Me and my cousin, with a haversack and lots of money. What a ride it was! I guess at that time you don’t mind all that pollution and rubbish that flies at you, the truckers not giving you a damn. We had a few scares on way. Stopped at Panipat had some food by a dhaba, conserve money was the idea long way to Gujarat. At Dhaula kuan, someone told us to take a right and just keep driving. Well we reached Delhi around evening.

Then for some ODD REASON, wonder what it was , we had this IDEA to go to CP to Naruala’s for a burger since we had heard a lot about it. We did not have a clue where we were, the route but I guess that’s the fun of it. We were asking every other person, “Bhai sahib? CP?” and they would just point a direction towards which we sped. Finally reached Narula’s and had our fill. Now, this is the time we were supposed to get the bike on the train and call up parents telling them what train etc. So we called.

tring tring

A loud hoarse voice said, “Hello?”

“Haanji Papa, we have reached. The Train will not accept the bike. They said they can book it day after. So, what should we do?”

My father, OH bless him, with a worried voice, “Beta, you do that. Then go to Sidhu Uncle’s house. I will ring him. Paise hain? Do you have enough money?”

“No, Papa its fine. We have met up with one of my friends. We will stay in their house, get the bike on train and then take the next one ourselves.”

“Ok son. If you need money, go to Mr. Sidhu, and take care don’t do this .. that .. and call back.” (Thinking of it now , It makes me feel so bad.. Bad US)

Well now we had till Sunday evening to do whatever we wanted (read drive). So what did we decide (and this is my cousin he is a devil too)? He comes with this brilliant idea “Brother, its night time. Less traffic let’s go now only and sleep on way somewhere.”

So we left.

WHY DID WE GO?!

It was unbelievable driving at night; trucks at high speed, half the drivers high on some intoxicant, full beams and us on our little MR YAMAHA RX100. Anyway we went on and on… Sometime during the night we got really tired so we decided to rest and picked up a roadside dhaba. The guy was so nice; he greeted us and made tea for us.

The Tea was so lovely I had to ask for another cup, what with the whole day’s worth of Tea Leaves, Cardamoms and Laungs, Saunf in it. It was yummy. Anyone reading this should try it out, the Roadside dhaba tea is always so tasty. The guy was smiling, grinning all the time, he later told us we were looking like Batman. The only difference was our face was BLACK with the white of the eyes shining.

I wish we had the fancy mobile phones then get some pictures or even a camera. Had a wash with my cousin doing the honours of pumping the Hand pump, then I did till he washed. We were shattered so we lay on those roadside beds made of jute and within seconds, I bet we were snoring. We had told the dhabawalla to wake us at 4 in morning. Early morning we woke up, got ourselves ready. Kick started the bike, Put it in gear let the clutch go (we had parked on the right hand of the road).

As we turned left… PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

A few choice abuses “TUHADI &%&%& and %^$£%$^%!!!” 

I guess we were still asleep because we did not see the big truck coming. Hahaha.

 Phewwwwwwwwwwww SAVED.

Gods were looking down on us. or were they ..

We had just gone 100 yards THUDDD: there was a Speed breaker. Did not see that either. The bike went flying. If you know the bike the key used to be on top along the speedometer. We thumped so bad the key flew away. God knows why we did not fall or anything. We stopped and parked to look for the key 🙂 It was still dark and could not see a thing.

IDEA!!! We started waving to passers by, and after a couple of cars gave two hoots to us, one Sikh gentleman in his Ambassador stopped.

“KI gal hai kaka?” So, we asked him if he could stop his car for a second so we could look for our key with the car’s Headlights. I tell you, Sikhs are great! Not only did he stop, he got down himself looking for the key. It was he who found it. He asked us what we were doing at that time.

We told him with pride and our chests puffed up, “Gujarat nu challe haan (going to Gujarat)”

He exclaimed, “MOTORCYLE te? Kamle hon? Ma-Pio ne kidaan jaan deta(on the bike? Are you mad? How did your Parents let you go”)?”

I so wanted to say parents don’t know he he he, but at that moment I let parents take the blame. Again BAD ME, I know. Well, we found the key and started off towards our destination. Some time later, Sun was rising. OH MAN it was AMAZING!! We were nearing Jaipur I think. India is so pristine, pity we don’t see it that way sometimes. If only administration did what it’s supposed to.

India is really beautiful (I MUST APOLOGISE TO MY READERS THAT THIS MAY BE HAPHAZARD, COURSE I HAVE FORGOTTEN A FEW DETAILS and NAMES). I remember there was this place a valley sorts, huge boulders, stone mountains a tiny road passing through and from far off you could see a truck meandering its way slowly. Sun rays falling, different colours; yellow, orange, red WOW. I don’t remember the name of the place but it was beautiful.

We reached Jaipur. One of my friends was doing hotel management there, so we  knocked at her door. I think she looked through a window and probably thought she should call the police, with two ruffians, black faces standing at her door, ringing the bell.

I had to speak “Its Bikram.” She opened the door, the usual hello hi, ages since we met, how is this/that, the usual rigmarole, I was too tired to carry on making small talk, She did not look happy as she had to make something to eat.. But friends are angel’s, I could see she hated going to the kitchen but God bless her she made some toasts , eggs I think (been a long time ) dont remember that far back) .

We ate,  went to sleep for sometime, rested a bit, washed yet again, started off again with promises made that if she talks to someone in chandigarh she better not tell we were there and that too on a bike .

My cousin was riding the bike while I held on to my dear life sitting behind him, telling him to change the gear, Slow down, break, car- truck and he would constantly say “SHUT UP! I know what I am doing.” It’s amazing how you are always a better driver then the other. How you instruct others saying they are doing wrong. It was early evening when we hit the outskirts of Ajmer. The drive was amazing, for a change there was not that much traffic. We did stop a couple of times for a cup of chai. I remember just before entering the city we got some petrol and went inside.

Ajmer is another beautiful place. I had a friend in Meo College, and I had already called him to say we were coming. So, met up with him. Talked about long lost childhood, I bet my cousin was bored to death at that time. In Ajmer we had a hearty meal, some mutton biryani along with some kebabs. We decided to stay the night there so that we could have a decent rest. We still had till Sunday evening to call parents and it was only Saturday evening/night yet, so, long time to go. It’s amazing in college days you always had so much time.

Nothing else happened (I am trying to remember what happened almost 11-12 years ago. Hence, the big holes in the story). The next morning, we set off. We asked for directions we were advised to go to Udaipur and then to GandhiNagar,  for some reason another direction came,  lets go to Mount Abu! It’s a hill resort in the desert. My cousin had heard how one his friends’ family had gone there for an outing and enjoyed it. I must say by this time we were not worried about parents finding cause there was nothing they could do now; they would do their shouting once we reached. Till then there were no worries.

… To be Continued ..

I have been living in the UK for quite a few years now, over the years I have seen a lot of changes take place both with the attitude of the people living here and those who want to come abroad. I am sure a few of you reading will disagree with me over the issue that loads of people are doing their utmost legal, illegal or whatever means to get out of India, be it educated , uneducated or whosoever. You find all sorts of people spending all their life savings to get out of the country. I am not going to argue or start writing here about the reasons why they are doing so, cause there are umpteen reasons and NO these people are not traitors or otherwise that they are leaving the country.

 Anyway the reason for this note is the terrible conditions of our people out here , I did write a note earlier too the living conditions and work conditions being faced by majority of the people coming, I had told the story of my cousins who have come over, well let’s say it does not look very good for them. One of my cousins did get a job as FARM HELP, now then I have to have a little laugh here, the reason why he came to this country was to get away from working on the farm back home, they have land and all but NA can’t do that, perfectly happy to work in a farm as a HELP here cause he gets about 4 -5 pounds.. How sad is that…

 But then none of the people back home want to listen to this, I go to the gurudwara sahib here and see all these young people coming in for food , god knows how they are managing the roof on their head, the situation of girls is really pathetic won’t go into details on that ..

Anyone who wants to get some work done at home can go and ask these people to work for them for anything between 10-20 pounds A DAY. Yes people you heard it right, A DAY and they will come and do anything for the day from gardening to cleaning to ironing… The reason I am saying is because I got asked by a lovely girl and a guy if I had work at home that they could do, I said no since I am rarely at home with my job and extra work, they started to plead explaining how good they are and how trustworthy they are .. I felt quiet bad but there is nothing that I could do for them other then politely refuse, but this is happening.

I was reading some news about the pathetic situation of people in London especially Southall, where a vast majority of population is Asian, no wonder it’s called Little India, It the same story as when India was known to be the GOLDEN BIRD, how every other nation came to plunder it of its prosperity, in the new era England was supposed to have  ‘streets paved with gold’ , but not anymore … one needs to see the ques in front of local gurudwaras to see the situation, one good thing though everyone is friendly no talk of being a hindu-muslim or sikh .. All are equal standing in the queue for the free langar.

People are sleeping in BINS, or even phone booths Yet the mass influx or the want to come to LONDON one of the richest cities in the world is increasing day by day, I also remember telling one of the friends in India about the situation, there reply was “I am jealous, I don’t want them to do good as I did”.. 

A few months back there was some sort of pity or what you call sympathy for these people who had come to pastures green, but over time I have seen this sympathy going down… as a few localites here feel that they dont have any compassion for these people as this is SELF-INFLICTED,

1. Why is there such an urge to come here…?

2. Why can’t people work as hard as they work here back home

3. Why can’t they work with same respect?

4. Why can’t you work in your OWN FIELD?

With the opening of borders for Euro union it has become very hard for outsiders to get a job, as the job has to be advertised to Europeans and then to others, with current economic scenarios, lots of jobs have been lost, thousands have been made redundant.

Please please All who read this, Please make sure before you or anyone you know who are contemplating to come abroad, you have the facts right, Do your spade work, find out if it is really any worthwhile coming all this way, Wasting the hard earned money of your parents or even putting them under Debt.

Everybody hopes to live in a better environment socially and economically. But it’s not possible for people to get that without struggle. It is the responsibility of the person to determine how much struggle is justified for the cause. The cause can’t be worth it, if the existence occurs merely from hand to mouth.