Archive for the ‘Bikramism’ Category

First week of marathon and I am already lagging behind , Sorry everyone but Cant help not getting time to do anything other than work.. I have some now, so Posting the replies as promised to the earlier post …  We have some Lovely answers .. let me do Mine first and then we will accumulate all of them together …

1. Don’t change horses…………..                          Until they stop Running.. 

2. Strike While the……………………….               bug is close by  .. 🙂

3. It’s always darkest before…………..                 Daylight saving time 

4. Never underestimate the power of………….. Termites

5. You can lead a horse to the water but………… How  ?

6. Don’t bite the hand that…………..                       Looks dirty

7. No news is…………..                                                  Impossible 

8. A miss is as good as a…………..                             Mr. 

9. You can’t teach an old dog new…………..          Math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll……….           you will STINK                           

 

 

Mine are not that clever , I have had some excellent Replies 🙂

 

1.

Don’t change horses…………...While riding

Don’t change horses…………... while you’re sitting on one!

Don’t change horses…………...while at the betting window.

Don’t change horses…………..change the jockey.
2.

Strike While the……………………….wrestling champion is sleeping.

Strike While the……………………….gun is loaded

Strike While the………………………. Iron is Hot.
3.

It’s always darkest before…………..the fridge door is opened.

It’s always darkest before………….. you find the light-switch.

It’s always darkest before…………..we switch on the light

4.

Never underestimate the power of…………..your toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..A jar of nutella

Never underestimate the power of………….. a bawling toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..stupidity in a large group (this stuck in my mind for a while😀

Never underestimate the power of…………..crooked politicians

Never underestimate the power of…………..Social media

Never underestimate the Power of………….. a Common Man.

5.

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..you can’t teach him to wash!

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..make it drink from a bottle of mineral water

You can lead a horse to the water but………….. can’t make it drink.

6.

Don’t bite the hand that…………..has just washed your butt.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. messy.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. that digs your grave

Don’t bite the hand that………….. holds the spoon.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. feeds you.

7.

No news is…………..the biggest horror in Shruti Aunty’s life.

No news is…………..news anymore – it is a bored man’s imagination.

No news is… ….. ….so peaceful.

No news is…………..100% true these days

8.

A miss is as good as a…………..mister.

A miss is as good as a …………..mistress

A miss is as good as a …………..Mrs

9.

You can’t teach an old dog new…………..ways to irritate your brother.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….ways to poop.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….masters

You can’t teach an old dog new………….tricks 

10.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………end up hairy and wet.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………, you’ll be the b****

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………you’ll be drowned in cuddles and happiness.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………wake up with them

 

I hope I have got them all here , If I have missed any let me know please 🙂 and thank you all for all the replies 🙂  So here is a question which one is the most hilarious…

 

Anyone !!!!!

 

 

 

 

I think people do take me for a Fool sometimes, here is an example of something like that, I need some money desperately so I planned to sell My bike, put it on selling websites and got funny offers which have left me surprised, I somehow dont trust myself anymore the more I think about myself

The Ad. for the bike says

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Got a few offers  and one came from Italy and here is what the person had to say, he offered to do a private sale via email 🙂 , I sent him a email saying it is available..  The response came

Hello
for the bike the offer price is € 900.
the offer reason is because I live in Italy, and the bike should be sent in my city, so the shipping costs around 500 €.
I want to know, the bike has engine problems? Abuto has problems in
I Await your kind reply. Yours sincerely.
Antonio

I was pretty happy for that Offer 🙂 so Replied back ..

Hi

I have no idea how to ship it to italy. There were no problems with the engine , I been driving it around .. but this year its just been sitting in the garage .. hence selling it

I have tons of spare parts also along with it , almost everything .

Thanks
Bik

 

The reply came ..

Hello.
So you accept my offer of € 900?
For shipment I inform me and I’ll let you know.
In the event that I agree to buy your bike, after seeing her in Italy and above all it checked by the mechanic, if you have problems we should feel.
It is a sign of assurance that I ask you, why
motorcycle goes first checked and then paid. I think even you would agree ..

This made me a bit curious, I wrote back

Hello

so you want me to send the motorcycle to Italy.. You will get it checked by a garage. and then pay me ..
What happens if you dont like the bike .. Who sends it BACK.. and What happens if you do not pay me after getting the bike in italy ..

Thanks

 

And the funniest was the reply.. have a read of this .. first the MATHS does not fit at all and I am a bit bamboozled

Hello.
Just what you say!
So I pay 50% deposit then shipping in Italy I checked by a mechanic. If there are problems I pay less according to the work that will have to carry the bike.
For example: the bike costs 900 € you pay at the beginning € 450 in Italy to the port there will be work to do than controlling costs 200/300 €, you pay the difference at the end ie 150/200 €.
I hope you understand.

 

I don’t understand the Maths as I said , I get 450 .. I pay 450 to port, then 200/300 for something .. so that makes 750.. he has offered 900 Euros.. which means I get 150 euros for the BIKE and that is also up in air .. once the bike lands in Italy I may not get anything 🙂

So basically I am selling the bike for 150 and doing all the exporting etc .. 🙂 BARGAINnnnnnnnnnnn

Or am I reading something Wrong here …

 

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Right , I first thought I would write a BIG DISCLAIMER before I start writing the post, BUT then I saw some great post title’s by my fellow bloggers which give ample suggestions how I feel and what I wanna say .. So for all those who are going to get tortured in the month of November (which by the way is the BEST month in the year 🙂 ) by all the posts I post.. I salute theee all ..

Sag’s comes back after a long long time to post and then has FORCED me to participate, yes FORCED 🙂 threatening me tooo … so all who have a issue with my writing Please refer Above 🙂  Actually before that we can all point the finger at Swaram who I am told is the main to start all this mayhem.

Before going any further let me say here’s to the madness and let the Madness begin,   I also with trembling hands and a jittery mind am taking this up of writing everyday 🙂 , I know I know I am Mad.

My best wishes to everyone who all are participating. Here is a Prayer to start the challenge with because my fear is you all will fun away from this blog …

I have no clue whatsoever what am I going to do, dare not even think just yet, but I guess its the participation that matters 🙂 so  ‘hopefully’ ‘Fingers crossed’, with a bit of cheating might get through this 🙂  here is me Getting Started…:)

All the best, my fellow marathoners. Let the fun begin.

 

 

p

Do try to complete the following sentences , put them as a comment .. Just lets see what Funny replies we might get 🙂

Let me start with one

A. Love all, trust……………………………    ME  🙂 

B. An idle mind is ……………………………   Best way to Relax  🙂 

Comment Moderation is on, will try to put all the answers together , It should be great fun ..

1. Don’t change horses…………..

2. Strike While the……………………….

3. It’s always darkest before…………..

4. Never underestimate the power of…………..

5. You can lead a horse to the water but…………..

6. Don’t bite the hand that…………..

7. No news is…………..

8. A miss is as good as a…………..

9. You can’t teach an old dog new…………..

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll

 

So get set Goooooooooo …. 🙂

 

 

M

 

I had this post earlier .. Got nothing else to write so i thought I shall re-write it , hope I gets more views this time:) just being greedy ..

I was watching a program and heard a few nice tit-bits, imagine what u can do with your mobile phones. Here are a few ideas or tricks one can play on friends 🙂 ..

You are all sitting in a pub and send some messages to , someone from the phone of a person who has gone to the loo. Just imagine the reaction of this guy, the hell he is in, if you send a text to the wife or girl friend of the person who left the phone

“Dont worry it’s ok, she will never find out X X X X” (XX is for kiss kiss:) )

oooh he is gonna have fun when he reaches home:) or meets her…

or or or how about, you know how a text can be sent to everyone in the contacts , send a text to everyone in your phonebook saying

Saying

“I found out your secret Cant talk now, text me … ”

I did that I got a few text back but one my friend replied one Word …

“HOW” …:)

 

Two friends got very upset over the fact, that they had to pay a lot of money, for the pay as you go phones so they decided to get two homing pigeons, use them for sending messages to each other .. they started doing that but one day one of them got a note from other with nothing written on it .. this makes him mad, so he used his PHONE to call the other to asks whats that for ..

Oh that was a missed call… the friend replied.:)

And oh yeah have you ever by mistake changed the language on the phone .. here is a idea what you can do … get your mates phone and change the language to Chinece or russian .. anything other that what he uses:) he he he he .. that would be funny .. How does he change it back ..

So people who read this lets hear whats the funny thing you have done on your or your friends phone ….

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🙂 I am still trying my best to keep this A to z Challenge running but it seems I am falling way too behind.  But hey ho Reminds me of my school , When you walked in through the main door On the right was the principles office and Vice principles.. On the left we had the accounts Dept. and a PNB bank, Carry on past them Came a Dead end with stair going up either side.

Now the WALL right in front where the stairs started had a Saying that it is the participation that matters, Not winning.. I know a bit of a cliché But hey ho that’s my excuse .. I am participating Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy 🙂

 

Ever Green Jagjit Singh, One of my favourites especially since living abroad all I can dream of is back home.  I usually put the translations but WHO can do this , it will loose all its meaning even if I try to translate… 

Here is a picture taken of the Moon back home .. from the Roof top

shy

Me so Shy…

 

And H is also for HELLO. too…

 

Thank you everyone for bearing with me 🙂

I have been really bad with this A to Z challenge, missing Days -Missing Alphabets but I just cant seem to do it correctly.

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Anyway right how many of you have used or Have checked Google Earth.. I am sure we all have at some point done it , before I go on to the point that I think is funny let me tell you that  It took a long ..  long time to make.. they spent months and months photographing the roads.. Each road was photographed and then somehow they were all put together.

It is awesome .. and its fantastic.. I got very excited when I first saw the application , downloaded it all .. you go on to the computer and you grab the little man and drop him .. and it takes you to the road.

It is amazing..

and here is the fun part when it begins 🙂  so we switch on our highly sophisticated computer or laptop, sitting in our house .

You are thinking where can I go .. We can go any where in the world .. ANY WHERE .. The key word here is ANY WHERE ..

But what do we do,  where do we all go on the first try..

OH YES

OUR OWN HOUSE  (now tell me , how many of us did that.. I bet EVERYONE)

even though at that particular time,  you are sitting in your own very house .. Inside the Room of your OWN very house..

It will be far easier to get up.. walk out  and LOOK AT YOUR HOUSE .. a LIVE 3D image of  your very own house 🙂 

Anyhow not only that  you will do all the dramatics to reach your house, go up and down the street instead of landing directly on your house.. you have to move around this way that way  , Till you are right there ..

WHERE IS IT ..

oh yes THERE IT IS .. MY HOUSE ON GOOGLE EARTH awwwwwwwwwwww 🙂 I am so happy 

Then you shout to someone in the house  .. come and look come and look

awwwwww thats my car near my house .. then it suddenly dawns on you ..  But that’s the green colour, I don’t have a green one .. I have a red one and mine is a Mitsubishi .. this looks like a BMW or a MERC..

Who was that in my house .. I don’t recognise the car,  I want to know what time the picture was taken,  who was that in the car Whose car is it .. was the person inside my house .. Or did they just park in front of the house ..

ahmm ahmm fishy fishy  who – why – what could possible it mean 🙂   I leave you with your imagination now he he he he ..

So who all have tried Google Earth 🙂

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College .. The word itself is so nostalgic.. we have so many memories attached with it .. I sometimes think of the time and seem to get lost in the huge ocean of memories , makes we want to go back in time to those days, Its been ages since I have left college but the stuff we did , the memories, the history we made .. each time I remember one such episode it lightens me up.. I have that twinkle in the eye, that energy , rush of blood which goes missing otherwise in the normal day to day routine that we call LIFE.

We have left college in search of new adventures, new roads, new ambitions.. but I for one still remember those days.. the 5 year of my life that I spent in college. The friends I made , the way we became friends , the silly things we did , the attitude, The no nonsense way , giving two hoots to life as if we were unbeatable.. nothing could touch us .. Not even KARNAIL SINGH the SHO of sector 11 police station.. 🙂

Or the taunts and abusive language of RAJ KUMAR the new SHO of sector 11 police station.. Going back the very next day to college and almost beating up the same guy because of whom we were taken to police station.

Parents almost going nuts coming to know.. My dad almost threw me out of the house, when he found we had been rounded up and locked up, My grandfather I admire him so much, he stood by me and gave my bail.

The last night looking at the books for next days exams, having your friends stand outside the window to help you with answers and Ravjote singh my Friend standing in the exam hall asking the teacher to Allow me to Cheat.. 🙂

Not attending any classes then having to run after teachers to get the lectures sorted.. MR AGGARWAL my physics teacher swearing No matter what he will not sort them.. then the scheming of stopping the postman on way to college to get the roll numbers .. trying to Patao the clerk to get the roll number.

Come diwali the burning of crackers in Mr GAUBA’s class.. Attaching it to a slow burning thing and 15-20 minutes into the lecture DHAAAAAAMMMMMM and Mr GAUBA (my chemistry professor) .. God bless him.. trying to be philosophical about it trying psychology on us, saying its the bad spirits or demons who are doing this.. and we students are so good ..

Sitting for hours in canteen, asking the guy to get tea and if ask for money throw a cup , and his saying ok ok leave it give it next month , then when he came next month , taking his book of accounts , slashing the days which had most money “IS DIN TO HUM COLLEGE AYE HI NAHIN”… (we did not come to college this day) a bill of 200 Rs slashed to 100 then give him rs 50 “BAAKI AGLE MAHINE MAIN ADJUST” (rest adjust next month)… and when it came to get NO dues signed he trying to be funny, cause it was his time then..

Standing at the gates, any girl passing she is mine.. blah blah trying to find ways to impress girls.. sometimes end up picking a fight.. beating up a guy thinking it would impress girls .. NO LUCK.. 😦

Sitting in canteen and someone coming running “PANGA HO GAYA”.. without asking what , just running for it, shouting “BABBAR” , “CHERRY” ,  “RAVI“, “ONKAR“, “BEDI“, “HANDLE”  come on and they in turn coming folding there shirt arms up to elbows..

End of year Standing in Queue to get the Roll numbers only to find out that I cant get the Roll number as I have Lectures shortage in almost every subject.

Going to Punjabi Mam, she was so beautiful who smiles when I ask “Mam Lecture poore kar deo Please” (Mam please complete my lectures).. awww blesss she did ..

Then walking to English Teacher Mr. Nijhawan who I find out today of all the days When I go home in evening sitting with my DAD.. They are class mate’s…  “OH £$%£”..  what do I do now, Dad will know and it will be chaos.. Phewwww he smiled, did not say a word.

Next day I went to him, I only had to say “Sir”..

“Tun dasiya nahin tun Mann da munda hain”.. (you did not say you are Mann’s son) .. He completed all my lectures, you see  I was good in english and represented college few times

Going to another professor who for some reason was having a bad day, “Jo karna hai kar le ” .. (do what you want to ) .. Not Poora Karoing (could not find the english word he he he:) ) .. your lectures .. and I have 75 short..

Ravjote Walks in the Lecture Room, “Oh sir , Kar deo poore .. Tuhada ki jaanda ” .. (sir please do, whats it to you) ..

He refuses, what was worst was 1st year students are having their practicals and it had to be all GIRLS.. The silly girls burst out laughing on hearing Ravi..  Which makes the professor more mad..

“Iske lecture poore nahin karne “.. Not completing this guys lectures .. he says pointing to me …

Ah well I tried the good way ..

Finding a way how to get roll numbers .. Get hold of a guy who is responsible of posting Roll numbers to college from the university:) .   don’t need to go to the other Two teachers  🙂  sorteddddddd

End of year Viva Exam , my Physics lecturer asking Am I sure I am a student of that class , He has not seen me the whole year in any of the lectures.

Sector 11 Inspector who is known for talking with his DANDA, He would without any reason beat up students or who he did not like.. He is walking through the college Suddenly a Voice echoes

“Karnail Singh Kuteeee” …  (karnail singh you dog)….

Pin drop silence .. sudden hustle bustle .. corridor empty …

finding myself in LT1 (lecture theatre).. with  Onkar panting and exciting he says .. “I said it.. bloody hell .. first reaction is to slap him .. then having a hearty laugh.

 

I have so many memories of those years , If I start writing it will take years to put all of them down.. Those were the good old days , beautiful days..

This has been Long pending as I have been on and off Blogging.  The A to Z challenge is also started today so I thought what best way then to start it with a Cheer..

A

It is lucky that the Award comes from a person whose name also starts with an A.. Amira gave this award to me .

liebster-award

According to the Rules I got to answer some of the questions .. Which are as follows ..

1. Describe yourself in seven words…

Seven words are surly too less to describe me 🙂  but here it goes

I AM ME – EVERYTHING GOOD  BAD UGLY 

that is 7 words 🙂

2.What keeps you up at night?

I am a sound sleeper, the moment my head hits the pillow ,  I am Zonked out..

3.Whom would you like to be?

No one really. I feel we are all unique, just be yourself why would we want to be like someone else. God made us all for a purpose lets try to find that and concentrate on that, why do we want to become like somebody else and do what they would do. That will double our work list for sure. 🙂

4. Why do you choose to be that person? (this makes it easier answering doesn’t it?)

N/A

5. What scares you?

LIFE. don’t want to sound grumpy or anything like that , but Life does scare me especially with the way things are , the way people are. I sometimes feel I was born too late, should have been born 40 -50 years earlier when people were at least not so much of hypocrites , as they are now.

6. What are the best and worst things about blogging?

Well the best thing is meeting so many people, knowing so many, even if we have not met personally it is a good sense or feeling to know that someone somewhere is thinking of you , or is worried. Like I found out when i was off blogging so many beautiful people asking If I am OK or not.

The worst thing that I feel is this hypocrisy among bloggers , this selfish attitude of a few , this you scratch my back I will scratch yours attitude. People like me get sucked into a false sense of relationship that oh the person on the other side is genuine but alas it does not turn out that way.

7. What was the last blog you looked at?

The last blog I visited was a lovely blog written by Beloo Mam

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Not be an Idiot any more… 🙂

9.If I want to read only one blog post from your blog, which post should I read?

Oh no, I don’t think I write that well that I  can recommend any of my posts, rather it is the other way round I should be thanking all the lovely people who come over to this blog and spend their precious time reading what I write.

So Thank you Everyone.

10.Tell us something about the person who tagged you.

What can I say THIS PERSON IS THE BEST.. she thought me worth enough of passing an AWARD. Definitely the BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD and a very good blogger too.

11. What is the one question that I should be asking you, instead of all of the above?

Oh boy, Now this has got me thinking. What is it that I want to be asked….

hmmmmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Well I guess the best question we can ask another human being is , Hello How are you doing..

It goes a long way, a simple question.

 

 

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Can you See what I see 🙂