Archive for the ‘Bikramism’ Category

 

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After :-

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Ready for Summers

Bank holiday long weekend Well spent… Now I need a week off to help my back recover 🙂

I have been trying to book some tickets on-line recently  and realized that it is becoming a real challenge to book tickets on-line or maybe its my age :). People say that on-line booking is very easy , it also is the new trend but there are some aspects of on-line booking I just don’t understand..

The first being What is this new thing you have to do.. Type a PHRASE or what they Call CAPTCHA , it’s like a challenge or  some sort of literacy test that you have to go through before you can actually go on to book your ticket, Look at the pictures and select a few with common themes, or a collection of letters hiding behind each other, as if we are playing hide and seek game. ..

So you have to copy that word in a new text box exactly same, you copy it – you press the OK button – it comes back saying NO .. they don’t match.. TRY AGAIN..  someone like me gets stuck on that page for half an hour , so much waste of time for a damn ticket which is supposed to be on-line the fastest mode of booking tickets.

What gets me more is when it comes up with all these options or Suggestions , especially with a slogan People who bought this also searched for this etc etc, I mean how does it matter to me what people searched on, none of my business. All I want to do is book or buy a product on-line, Why do I need to know about other stuff, If I want than I will go to their website or search for them.

Another thing that makes me cross is the address page,  You have to fill in your name your surname your first line of address etc etc, the fun starts when you reach the last column that says COUNTRY..  You press the drop down button it has hundreds of countries (Have you noticed how many names there are)…

Since I live in England I have a real battle because you go down the line to find the country called England, it’s not there 🙂  I try for Britain or  great Britain that is also not there , I have to scroll down to the bottom to find united kingdom, Why do I need to do that I mean is it not common sense that when I am logging into a website which has a web-address of lets say ABCDEFG.co.uk in the end, then that .co.uk is a BIG HINT to tell that there is a high chance of me living in UK, so why is that box not auto populated with UNITED KINGDOM, and if I have to change , I can always press that drop down button and change.

The other day I did a search for cinemas in Leicesterit brought me list of cinemas in Leicester, I isolated to a cinema near me Leicester again when I tried booking and putting the address the country drop-down had every country , NOW tell me who in their SANE mind will be coming from  INDIA or Afghanistan to watch a movie in Leicester surely the country in the list should be the local country, I mean I have selected a local cinema in Leicester which is in England and the first country that comes is Angola or Afghanistan so who is sitting in Angola early in the morning and saying  “hmmmmmmmmm  I’m thinking… I am going to watch Kong Skull Island in Leicester today, because I  am so sick of my local multiplex cinemas.. I will go and watch a movie in Leicester and this is for an afternoon show today at 2:30 p.m. Can anyone get there from Angola for 2:30 p.m. Show today ”

Anyway so once you put your address , next thing you have to do is put your e-mail address on the booking form not once but TWICE.. as they want you to confirm the e-mail address that I have typed … HELLLO I know what my e-mail address is, I’ve been using it for the last 15 years why are you testing me on my own e-mail address..

You have not asked me to confirm anything else, You did not ask me to confirm my name, my address but I know why they want you to confirm e-mail address.. More on that in the next post ..

 

I just wanted to post something its been so many days since I last posted .. How have you guys been

 

 

Yes.. it’s that day again today , when I was born, and the world had to be put in turmoil to endure me till I Live, whatever anyone might say I do feel that November is the best day and the 11th is the best day.. Plus it has a nice ring to it 11th of the 11th ..

The day started as usual till I saw my phone with so many messages , people wishing me and to read all that first thing in the morning is always a good feeling, Pity it was a Friday and I had work else I could have spent the day sleeping a bit more.

Thank you all for all the wishes, god bless you all.

With each passing year it seems the good old days are being left behind, the last I had a good birthday was in 2012, many good human beings were writing posts for me on this day then , BUT sadly as they say all good things come to an END..  and since then its been chaos.. 🙂 But at least I can remember all.

This is a Short and Sweet Post for all who emailed me and texted me and Called me .. Love you all.. God bless you all. You all are the most beautiful people on this Earth not sure what have I done to deserve such good human beings around me ….

AND THOSE WHO HAVE FORGOTTEN .. well what can I say  🙂 …  Love you all.. God bless you all too . don’t worry 11-11-2017 is only 365 days away make sure you remember it then.  You too are the most beautiful people on this Earth not sure what have I done to deserve such good human beings around me, Stay blessed.

This is the first year in more than a Decade that I will be not working , so I guess that is a birthday blessing in itself. 🙂  Back in India friends have already started the celebrations and are now making me jealous .. 😦   GOD I MISS YOU ALL…

 

 

 

Ps:- Sorry people on this NabloPomo blogathon , I am just unable to keep up. There is a LOT going on around this side of the world. But I will continue to persevere and post as and when I can.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dare I say anything else 🙂 …………….

First week of marathon and I am already lagging behind , Sorry everyone but Cant help not getting time to do anything other than work.. I have some now, so Posting the replies as promised to the earlier post …  We have some Lovely answers .. let me do Mine first and then we will accumulate all of them together …

1. Don’t change horses…………..                          Until they stop Running.. 

2. Strike While the……………………….               bug is close by  .. 🙂

3. It’s always darkest before…………..                 Daylight saving time 

4. Never underestimate the power of………….. Termites

5. You can lead a horse to the water but………… How  ?

6. Don’t bite the hand that…………..                       Looks dirty

7. No news is…………..                                                  Impossible 

8. A miss is as good as a…………..                             Mr. 

9. You can’t teach an old dog new…………..          Math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll……….           you will STINK                           

 

 

Mine are not that clever , I have had some excellent Replies 🙂

 

1.

Don’t change horses…………...While riding

Don’t change horses…………... while you’re sitting on one!

Don’t change horses…………...while at the betting window.

Don’t change horses…………..change the jockey.
2.

Strike While the……………………….wrestling champion is sleeping.

Strike While the……………………….gun is loaded

Strike While the………………………. Iron is Hot.
3.

It’s always darkest before…………..the fridge door is opened.

It’s always darkest before………….. you find the light-switch.

It’s always darkest before…………..we switch on the light

4.

Never underestimate the power of…………..your toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..A jar of nutella

Never underestimate the power of………….. a bawling toddler.

Never underestimate the power of…………..stupidity in a large group (this stuck in my mind for a while😀

Never underestimate the power of…………..crooked politicians

Never underestimate the power of…………..Social media

Never underestimate the Power of………….. a Common Man.

5.

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..you can’t teach him to wash!

You can lead a horse to the water but…………..make it drink from a bottle of mineral water

You can lead a horse to the water but………….. can’t make it drink.

6.

Don’t bite the hand that…………..has just washed your butt.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. messy.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. that digs your grave

Don’t bite the hand that………….. holds the spoon.

Don’t bite the hand that………….. feeds you.

7.

No news is…………..the biggest horror in Shruti Aunty’s life.

No news is…………..news anymore – it is a bored man’s imagination.

No news is… ….. ….so peaceful.

No news is…………..100% true these days

8.

A miss is as good as a…………..mister.

A miss is as good as a …………..mistress

A miss is as good as a …………..Mrs

9.

You can’t teach an old dog new…………..ways to irritate your brother.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….ways to poop.

You can’t teach an old dog new………….masters

You can’t teach an old dog new………….tricks 

10.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………end up hairy and wet.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………, you’ll be the b****

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………you’ll be drowned in cuddles and happiness.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………wake up with them

 

I hope I have got them all here , If I have missed any let me know please 🙂 and thank you all for all the replies 🙂  So here is a question which one is the most hilarious…

 

Anyone !!!!!

 

 

 

 

I think people do take me for a Fool sometimes, here is an example of something like that, I need some money desperately so I planned to sell My bike, put it on selling websites and got funny offers which have left me surprised, I somehow dont trust myself anymore the more I think about myself

The Ad. for the bike says

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Got a few offers  and one came from Italy and here is what the person had to say, he offered to do a private sale via email 🙂 , I sent him a email saying it is available..  The response came

Hello
for the bike the offer price is € 900.
the offer reason is because I live in Italy, and the bike should be sent in my city, so the shipping costs around 500 €.
I want to know, the bike has engine problems? Abuto has problems in
I Await your kind reply. Yours sincerely.
Antonio

I was pretty happy for that Offer 🙂 so Replied back ..

Hi

I have no idea how to ship it to italy. There were no problems with the engine , I been driving it around .. but this year its just been sitting in the garage .. hence selling it

I have tons of spare parts also along with it , almost everything .

Thanks
Bik

 

The reply came ..

Hello.
So you accept my offer of € 900?
For shipment I inform me and I’ll let you know.
In the event that I agree to buy your bike, after seeing her in Italy and above all it checked by the mechanic, if you have problems we should feel.
It is a sign of assurance that I ask you, why
motorcycle goes first checked and then paid. I think even you would agree ..

This made me a bit curious, I wrote back

Hello

so you want me to send the motorcycle to Italy.. You will get it checked by a garage. and then pay me ..
What happens if you dont like the bike .. Who sends it BACK.. and What happens if you do not pay me after getting the bike in italy ..

Thanks

 

And the funniest was the reply.. have a read of this .. first the MATHS does not fit at all and I am a bit bamboozled

Hello.
Just what you say!
So I pay 50% deposit then shipping in Italy I checked by a mechanic. If there are problems I pay less according to the work that will have to carry the bike.
For example: the bike costs 900 € you pay at the beginning € 450 in Italy to the port there will be work to do than controlling costs 200/300 €, you pay the difference at the end ie 150/200 €.
I hope you understand.

 

I don’t understand the Maths as I said , I get 450 .. I pay 450 to port, then 200/300 for something .. so that makes 750.. he has offered 900 Euros.. which means I get 150 euros for the BIKE and that is also up in air .. once the bike lands in Italy I may not get anything 🙂

So basically I am selling the bike for 150 and doing all the exporting etc .. 🙂 BARGAINnnnnnnnnnnn

Or am I reading something Wrong here …

 

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Right , I first thought I would write a BIG DISCLAIMER before I start writing the post, BUT then I saw some great post title’s by my fellow bloggers which give ample suggestions how I feel and what I wanna say .. So for all those who are going to get tortured in the month of November (which by the way is the BEST month in the year 🙂 ) by all the posts I post.. I salute theee all ..

Sag’s comes back after a long long time to post and then has FORCED me to participate, yes FORCED 🙂 threatening me tooo … so all who have a issue with my writing Please refer Above 🙂  Actually before that we can all point the finger at Swaram who I am told is the main to start all this mayhem.

Before going any further let me say here’s to the madness and let the Madness begin,   I also with trembling hands and a jittery mind am taking this up of writing everyday 🙂 , I know I know I am Mad.

My best wishes to everyone who all are participating. Here is a Prayer to start the challenge with because my fear is you all will fun away from this blog …

I have no clue whatsoever what am I going to do, dare not even think just yet, but I guess its the participation that matters 🙂 so  ‘hopefully’ ‘Fingers crossed’, with a bit of cheating might get through this 🙂  here is me Getting Started…:)

All the best, my fellow marathoners. Let the fun begin.