11-11-15

Here we are , the 11th of November. I am going to start this post with the following I read long time back..

” when life pulls you,wrenches you, the same life hugs you and kisses you and love you back.. we just need to know to be strong and be positive about life. ” by Aswathy here.

That is such a lovely thought ,  I know LIFE is such that you either love it or you hate it .. and those who love LIFE have a lovely life too and those who hate soon learn how to love life.

Today is a special day too as its Diwali so it seems the whole world is going to celebrate my birthday 🙂 and everyone knows how much i love fireworks, if I could I would light some fireworks all day long, since childhood i have been crazy about fireworks But sadly this year I am not celebrating Diwali due to a family mishap.

Since morning everyone has been sending messages -emails , whatsapp these days has become a necessity.

Before I get carried on let me first of all wish every reader and Visitor.. Wishing you-Your Family and EVERYONE Around you a very happy Diwali

I always say God has been very Kind to me, I am sure he has a special place for me 🙂 Over the years I have had some dreams , actually a LOT of dreams some have come true , some have got lost and hopefully Some more will get fulfilled as time goes on. So today is My birthday too 🙂

In college we had these dreams that as we grow old and start working, we will become independent , do this and that.. but it’s not that way.. as you grow responsibilities grow, priorities change , looking at the world differs, things which mattered than .. Don’t matter NOW. All those dreams we had, all friends will take up a job in same company and have fun but it was not to be. I am an average person. Everyone or well most people are confident in themselves to a level, but there is always self-doubt, should I do this or that , will I be successful, am I doing the right thing. I have my doubts at times. I also long for what everyone longs for Love, caress, appreciation, (you guys reading this write a comment HOW GOOD IT IS.. yes go on please please please .. he he he he )

In all these years I have done a lot of wild things, a few wishes have come true like

Wanted to fly….. did it ( gliding and then the Flying

Wanted to be a good at sports – I been in nationals for hockey

Wanted to visit places — work in progress, been to Spain-America-Canada-Australia- Brussels- Dubai-Singapore- France-etc etc.

Wanted to do a few of the dangerous sport activities Bungee jumping, parachuting, skydiving, Have done the Sky dive and NOW have given up the idea of bungee jumping , don’t like the idea for some reason.

Wanted to do white water Rafting and other silly things , have managed to do them all now 🙂

I want to go to Disneyland in Florida.. Oh yes I do .. its nothing of being childish .. every person has a child hidden in them.. I do want to go and do it some day …

I also Want to do something like this 🙂  I want to Do this stunt myself .. I told my friend and they said “ARE YOU MAD“… But what fun it would be, and in case it goes wrong then No chance of surviving so all the better, because I would not want to be in an accident and live a broken life.

The one thing I am dyeing to do is go on a Safari in Africa , in a Hot air balloon, Imagine the drift flying you and then in the middle of it Pffft Pfffft Pfffft oooops the engine or whatever  it is stops … and you are slowing going down.. down .. you look down .. GUESS what .. A PRIDE is watching with those sweet innocent eyes , tongues hanging out , occasionally slurping with the thought of fresh MAN MEAT .. YUMMY .. .

Another thing I want to do is drive all the way to India, Yes , drive it all the way to India..at some stages actually had serious talks with a group of maniacs like me to do it , we just did not have that much money to buy the cars , else we just might have done it .. Just imagine .. wow.. I am getting an adrenalin rush just thinking about it… A road trip exploring various places around the world, Turkey, Istanbul,  Greece, Italy,Iran, Austria, Pakistan.. imagine the amazing places. I know a lot of people have done it so why not do it myself. ONE DAY GOD WILLING I TOO WILL.

More maybe next time .. What about you people out there anything ….

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How to live and Die- My Views – Part 4

Continuing from part one How to live and Die (1) – Sad post and part Two How to live and Die (2 and 3)- My Views on what I think are some of the points that one needs to keep in mind to have a good Life and Die a peaceful death, the first point as I said is health.. as Health is Wealth., Then comes MONEY, I would actually put MONEY on par with Health, as lets be truthful in todays day and age MONEY is very important, Then comes having a place of your own called HOME , especially if you own your own house.

So moving on I think that there is a particular trait in us human beings that we should try to get rid of and that is “ENVY“, we all have it, A BIG FAT LIAR is the person who says he/she does not Envy.

The biggest envy we have is of that particular person who has done better than us, OH YES we all do that sometimes consciously or sometimes sub-consciously. I don’t know why do we do that or how does it concern us But in all these thoughts and in all this time spent in envying them we usually do not see how much hard work they have put in to get where they are.

It is not easy to reach high, takes a lot of hard work, heartaches, we lose a lot of people in that race to reach the top, seldom do we stand still to think is it WORTH it, reaching that particular position, or in trying to earn more money is it worth losing a good friend. By the time we stand still to think it is already too late what is lost is gone, I have a few friends who are doing just that, to become a manager or to get that extra pay grade they forget that their 4 years kid does not see them all day long, by the time they reach home the kid is asleep. Just spending a SUNDAY with the kid is not good enough, the Sunday too is spent most of time on phone calls or getting to grips what was missed in the week, paying of bills, renewing of this or that.

I have seem some very rich people not being able to enjoy a full meal in peace, YES they are a managing director of a company but having their dinner with the phone glued to the ear is not what I see as ideal situation. Thankfully I am pleased that I have stopped getting into this rat race, I am happy with what every I have, its enough to feed me all my life and maybe half the life of my next generation to.

Due to work and all there is only one meal in a day that I get to eat at home and I enjoy having it because I make sure I switch off my phone or put it on silent once I come back home.

I think it is this ENVY that makes us do all that, because we are envious of someone making so much money or reaching a particular position it makes us think about ourself , which in turn then makes us more frustrated WHY Can I Not have that, WHY cant I get that.. WELL you can but do give a thought at all the hard work put in and what all have these rich people lost on the way, Are you willing to give up all that!!!

So if we can get rid of this ENVY, I am sure we can have a smooth life.

What do you think people.. ?????

Week 5 :- Something Someone Gave you

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 5 Says the title is “Something Someone Gave you”

Life is very funny indeed, teaches us a lot of things, some good some bad. It is surly up to us, to either learn from the mistakes or do them again. Lucky are those who learn and don’t repeat them again. On other thought I am sure life will be pretty BLAND if not for the mistakes or the wrongs one has done, I guess it is these events that spice up life. I am sure I have done a lot A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT (yeah it is a lot of T’s in that Lot, that is because it’s that many I have done) of Mistakes, have I learned well the answer to that is NO IDEA.

God has been very kind to me , in-spite of making all those mistakes there are so many people who love me and care for me , even if I have been bad to them, So Thank you to all of them for being in my life, for loving me so much. I do remember you all and LOVE you as much it is sad that life has taken few turns that we are not together any-more. I am sorry to have hurt all those who I have hurt, do forgive me if you CAN but maybe my mistakes are such that I can’t be forgiven. Anyway this post is not about all that ..

I have a few things that have been given to me over time by some lovely people who have loved me , cared for me which I have kept , I obviously can’t share all of them or share the stories behind because that is something very personal to me . But I can surly share one lovely gift I got from someone.

Sometimes I sit and go through the past , relive those beautiful days , Hoping will they Ever come back again, do the people who cared then – still care as much, because I surly care as much.

My question to everyone reading do you or have you also kept all these memories saved , the gifts you got, I have them all saved and as I mentioned earlier I go through them almost everyday.

November 2006

Here’s wishing and praying Lord Ganesha looks upon all of you and fulfils all your wishes.

Ps:- I have not been visiting the lovely blogs I usually visit, LIFE as I said above is funny and it seems this year it is just not letting me go, one thing after the other keeps happening, very stressed and probably going in Depression 🙂 .. he he he he 🙂 🙂 .. Hopefully APRIL will come with better news. I am having to visit India soon have to take care of a few religious duties and other personal issues , so hoping that things will change. If I dont get to visit you all please pardon me ,, I will be visiting for sure .. Have a great day everyone.

Week 4- A Family Member

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 4 Says the title is “A FAMILY MEMBER”

From the previous post it is fairly obvious that I am a family man sort of person , who believes a lot in family as a whole, and to pick one family member is a bit difficult for me , as whatever I am , who I am has all been because of the constant hard work done by a lot of family members.

I can definitely not choose between my Father and Mother , well they are the reason I am here :), had they not been together and done what they needed to do I would not be here writing this post.. So good or bad, HERE I AM 🙂 Which reminds me of a famous saying

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

I wrote an article a few years back on fathers day, When I was growing up I am sure I missed a lot of chances to tell my parents that I love the,, Rather being a typical kid I don’t think I ever said to them.

I am not sure why we, especially the kids from my generation never were so close to their Father, It was always the mother one was close to, although ways are changing fathers are spending more time with kids, getting to know them. We even have a organisation called justice for Father’s, because I feel even the law has been biased towards the mother all these years, during a separation or a divorce it was an obvious choice for the kids to be handed over to a mother. Anyway that is a different topic to talk about.

Coming back to the topic on hand, Gratitude,I am so very thankful to my parents for doing their best always to make sure I am provided for, I have studied in one of the best schools in india in those days, which was not very cheap. The tuition fees , hostel fees amounted to a lot of money, The school sent bills every 3 or 4 months, it was paid right on time every time, I had never seen my parents say anything about it ever, I mean I get bills now sometimes for the house Electricity or gas bills , many a times the thought comes to mind that if only it came next month, I would be better off. But I don’t think I ever saw it on my parents.

There is another thing I want to say here, this might be a SHOW off statement too, But my father was a Govt. official and in a position where a lot of money was involved, I know every child will probably say that about his parents but I am sure my father earned his money the hard way, reminded me the day he got retired, there was a party organised. The amount of people that came and even today when I go to India I meet so many people who remember him .

Mom on other hand was a typical Punjabi woman who got married when she was just 17, I am also sure she did not have a choice who to marry , it was probably the same as is for every other woman, her dad found the man she was to marry and from a village she came to a city. Where she lived her life as a house wife.

When things were hard for the parents after the Step family split and my father left everything to his step family, I was only 7 or 8 , remember clearly those times, starting afresh and just one person doing a job, I bet the lure to earn money would have been so much at that time but I am glad he remained true to his principles, Mom started helping by Knitting, she started this little school where she taught a couple of ladies how to Knit, the little tuition money helped a lot . Slowly things started to work out , we had moved into a one room house, it was the four of us Also in those days My mother’s younger sister was doing her degree in Chandigarh , she use to stay with us, so it was a lot of people in a little place.

Dad started to build an extra rooms in the part of property that we had, and in probably a year or so we had a three bedroom house which was big enough for us all. I am not sure what to write or continue writing there are so many things ..

All I can say is I am proud to have the parents I have, I hope they are proud of me. I just pray to god that he gives me the strength to not do anything that would hurt their sentiments.

Day 20- Week 3- Family

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 3 is here and the topic is Family

I have a big family, hence i have a lot of people to be thankful to. While I was growing up I have always been taught the values of Family, now grown up I have my own lessons learnt. To me family is most important, when everyone leaves you , when no one has time for you it is family who stands by you always, As they say Blood is thicker than water always.

Yes we have our ups and downs, some nasty experiences with some members of the family have also taught a handy lesson especially when things like property-money come into the picture, but still I do feel that Family is and should mean the most always.

As I have mentioned in a few articles since 17th Dec to 13th jan things have been going very bad and it is usually during the bad times that one tends to realise who is how close to you or who genuinely thinks about you and feels about you, I have been lucky that the phone or the emails or the whatsapp messages have not stopped at all, It never felt that i was alone here in uk or that almost all of the family is back home in India.

I have wished many a times that family was nearby so I could at least sit and Cry my heart out, I have also thought that maybe I need to stop everything i am doing and just go back each time there has always been someone on the other side of the phone ready to listen to me, yes I have friends here but it’s not enough, people have their own agenda here , will give you an example my supposedly BEST FRIENDS in uk came once to see me on the 3rd january and one of them had exactly 6 minutes to spare for me. YET we are the closest or so I thought all these years. Have-not had a Single phone call not that any of that would have helped , All that had to be done had to be done and I did do it all But not having enough family here in UK hurt a lot.

One of the disadvantages of living so far away from family :(.

I mentioned above that I have a big family but sadly now the number is dwindling , many of the older generation have passed away, that’s how life works I guess. I will need to go to India very soon for a few days to fulfil a religious duty and I have promised myself that I am going to Meet EACH AND EVERY member of my family where-ever they are in the country. I am going to forget for the time being the bad blood we have had or spilt especially after my dad passed away, and Just go meet them all and HUG them, Don’t know when the next time will be.

I must say that I am thankful to everyone as each and every member of the family has been so good to me, I am one of the lucky ones who has got Love from everyone, Since I was the first male child in the family I have been spoilt rotten .

My grandfather (both of them)

My Nani spoils me still , I talk to her on phone sometimes she is hard of hearing so can’t understand what I am saying, but she is sweet to say I should shut-up and listen to what she is saying, and she will listen to my replies when I come to see her in India.

My Maasi’s are lovely and my youngest Maasi is so adorable , I made her cry so many times as there is not much of a age difference between us, whenever I went to the village for summer vacation she made sure that i got Hot food, would put an extra dollop of Butter in my food compared to my sister’s or my cousins. The day she got married I remember going up-to her husband and threatening him to make sure he takes care of her or else :0..

All my cousins they are all such lovely human beings, being the eldest had an advantage, in Punjab we have this tradition calling veerji to elder brother, I miss that here in uk not many call me Veerji here. I have bullied my cousins at times, even shouted at them or maybe even slapped but never ever have they retaliated back even now I can vouch they have all grown up to be fine young men and women yet they just listen to my rants when I go on a tangent sometimes.. (Yeah I have my moments too )

I would not have liked to talk about my Chacha(Father’s brother) or Bhua’s (father’s sisters) but that would make me a hypocrite after what i have just written above, They are family too , whatever they have done for obvious reasons after my dad passed away is probably their thoughts, I can’t change that maybe they need the money property etc more than us, so its fine. I still want to say thanks to them because Chachu use to be a good man, he taught me how to ride a scooter and drive a jeep in my early days , he also taught me how to fire a rifle. Bhua’s got married and went to USA, but whenever they came to visit us , they brought a lot of goodies for me jackets,toys, sweets etc. etc. Dont know what has happened to all that love they use to have , maybe something wrong with me , maybe I did something wrong.

My Grandma (Dadi) – I had never ever felt she was my step Grandma, when I was growing up, so much love she had showered upon me, when I was in hostel She would come almost every other weekend to meet me , pampered me , during festivals give me so much money – gifts. My mom was only 16-17 when she had me so its my Grandma who practically raised me as a child, My bhua still complains of the fact that Once me and her daughter were playing in the garden – a snake was seen and my grand ma PICKED me up , running to safety leaving my cousin behind. But again sadly since my grand-pa and my father passed things have changed dramatically, I am no more even welcome to the main house we had when everyone live together.

But still this time when I go , I will make sure I go and take her blessings, even if the other side of the family have threatened to harm me. That doesn’t bother me because my parents my mother and father have always taught me to respect the elders no matter who they are , and the BEST thing they taught me was that no matter what fights the Grown ups had I should always respect them as I did before the fights.

My parents well all i can say is I am thankful they are my parents , WHATEVER,WHOEVER I am is because of them, Whatever I have learned – Earned – Got is all because of all the hard work they both have put in raising me. My parents have both worked very very hard especially since the day they were asked to leave the family house to start in a new house from scratch about a year after my Chacha got married. We started from a humble beginning One room house , as my father did not want to take anything from his father. I have seen some poor times but slowly through hard work my parents raised us. I can proudly say that I have studied in the One of the TOP 5 schools of India in those days.

I am so very thankful to them both, I hope I can live up to their expectations. I pray to god to never let me do anything that would hurt them, and hope sometimes that I have been a good boy in the family and have not hurt anyone deliberately.

I am thankful to god for making sure that I was born in such a beautiful family.

Day 19 :- Retail Therapy Not just for Ladies/Women/Girls

I know I know I missed two days now .. DAMN!!! This writing a post every day of the month is so hard, plus it does not help that it is in the month of January. Too much has happened in the last 3 to 4 weeks, been under tremendous pressure due to some reasons which I am not very comfortable sharing at moment on a public place, Although some of you have been absolute Darlings and been emailing me, I am thankful to you all. I just hope and wish no one goes through it all, tragedies strike in three’s they say so one thing after the other ANYWAY forget that all 🙂

Right then ladies and gentlemen Who said that retail therapy is only for Ladies, OH NO . no no no Noooooooo it is not .. and Who said Retail therapy works .. OH YES. yessssssss yes yes yes yes it WORKS and worked a treat yesterday for sure and by the looks of it , IT is still working although when the credit card bill comes I am not sure how well it will work then.

Saying that I am a good boy I don’t misuse my credit card, since I have a gold card I get lots of points , other benefits , privileges if I use it , so YES I use it for every shopping I do from buying grocery to fuel BUT what I do is at the weekend I make sure I pay the money into it from my Debit account, So usually when the monthly statement comes it is 0.00.

Anyway this is not a gyaan post its on what I did at the weekend, On Saturday I had a phone call from an old old friend Jason who has now shifted to Coventry, hence we don’t get to meet often, he was in town with his little daughter and wanted to meet up, The daughter wanted to watch a movie Taken 3, We organised to watch the movie and then sit for a bite later on. Once all that was done, after the good bye’s I was walking to my car when I happened to walk by the Nike showroom that had an irresistible offer, Everything in there was on 40% off, I RARELY get excited about sales , don’t know why I had this urge to visit, since it was late, the shop had shut by then, I made a mental note that Tomorrow Sunday I will make a trip.

So Sunday afternoon I went to the shop to buy a pair of good shoes, I must tell you here that offer was 40% but because of my job I can get another 10% on it .. so the 50% off was a juicy deal. I was looking for the high-end Lebron or Kobe, But there were none on the shelf, there were some Jordan’s-flights etc, But I already had a pair of them so did not want to spend any money, I felt dejected ,walking back I just happened to ask one of the store guy if they had any Lebron or Kobe in size 10 or 10.5, at first he said No sir everything is on the shelves, but later he asked me to wait to go and see in the back.

After about 5 minutes he came back saying yes they have some in stock but they have not been checked yet or tagged, so will go on the shelf only Tuesday or Wednesday, to which I just said I can’t come back again , I finish work around 10pm , shops close at 5:30, don’t know why or what made him do what he did, maybe my sad-ugly looking face 🙂 , he said wait , he will ask the manager and see if anything could be done, so again I waited..

After another 10-15 minutes he came out holding about 6 or 7 pair of boxes, and believe me when i say that EVERYONE in the shop looked at me, or rather at those boxes being carried to me , I mean I could FEEL THE GAZE of every individual. You know sometimes when you can feel Someone is watching you, a few of the men I could see coming towards and just standing a couple of feet away , looking at each box being opened , so I tried a pair

I liked them, kept that on one side, tried the other one and another one .. For some reason I liked all of them .. and Guess what I did , I bought all of them .. YES you read it right, ALL OF THEM, I am not sure if it was the right decision but I did like all the shoes, could not choose which ones to keep, and the moment I said to the Store guy “I will have all of these”.. the horrified look on everyone else around, as if saying HOW DARE I BUY THEM ALL. They were almost going to jump on me or at the boxes after I had chosen. I really felt I was in danger especially after the way PUBLIC had behaved on the Black friday sales in December, People had gone MAD and that too on a sale which is STILL GOING ON TODAY.

I don’t know what’s wrong with people anymore they are becoming vultures and in-human, TV footage shoes people actually pulling each other’s hair, kicking others, snatching abusing each other to get hold of an item that was on sale.

Anyway coming back to me, Yes I bought all the Lebron pairs , a couple of Jordan flights pair.. 7 pairs of shoes I bought.. you can call me STUPID-IDIOT-SHOW OFF anything , and I have no answer to if you ask me , Why I bought them. I just did. The last time I had bought a pair of shoe was in India , Bangalore in 2012. yeah its been that long.

The problem is my shoes don’t get spoilt that easy because for work I wear combat Magnum shoes and NOTHING happens to them, I got two pairs that I have been using for a few years now. , The other job of computers is sitting job , so shoes are hardly used for anything. Its only when I go running or to a gym or sometimes if I go to parties etc that I wear good shoes, but since last year I have hardly gone to any parties because of my health and all. So I have so many pairs of shoes, Which again brings us back to the point I have no answer why I bought all the pairs. Maybe because they were going cheap.

So to end the story I had a smile and my heart-felt excited, you know bubbly I cant explain the emotion it was like , I wanted to come home or go to a friends and say come come everyone Look what I bought, see see seeeeeee.. I am sure you all know that feeling of excitedness (is that a word)…

Let me conclude here saying that YES retail therapy works and I woke up HAPPY Today, I had post scheduled to be published for the whole week, I stopped that schedule and Wrote this post. 🙂 🙂 Now I am going to publish this and go to Work wearing my New Shoes, One each day yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Here have a look at these lovely shoes ..

The bill was whopping .. But 50% off made the smile broader .. I don’t know if I did the right thing or not, But then that’s ME…..

Day-9 / week 1 – 52 Weeks of Gratitude

One of my lovely friends and a lovely person gave me this idea

Got to write on the above topics each week of the year .. I am starting late so Week 1 and Week 2 will be almost together..

Topic 1:- Why Start this challenge

1. Well I have learnt from my experiences, that one needs to be thankful for everything in life.

LIFE itself is precious and we need to take care of it all the time. There are a lot of things we take for granted in life one of them being “LIFE” itself.

in todays day and age you never know, from what I have experienced on the new year day itself this year is that it takes less than a minute to lose LIFE. A lot of thoughts went through my mind that day hence taking up this challenge will help me sharing some of them.

2. I am out of ideas already for this Blogathon that I am a part of , this challenge will help me in that too .

3. I myself DO NOT want to FORGET to be thankful each passing day for all that I have got.

If anyone else wants to take it up please do so.