Archive for the ‘A Phone call’ Category

One of the most beautiful relationship that a person can have is the one that is shared between a Grandmother and Grandson… Especially with maternal Grandma. My Nani passed away last week at a ripe age of 95, As always each time the phone rings early morning it makes you sit up thinking of the worse and so it was.

So many memories flash by when you hear of someone close passing over, the earliest memories that I have are of my summer vacations spent in the village at my maternal grandparents house.  We use to call my grandma Bibi.

Kids in those days use to be got married off especially girls at a very early age, My mom was only 18 when she was married and funny as it may sound the race to have a male heir for the family name meant try try until you have a male child , so was the case here too ,  Nani had to give birth to 6 girls before she had a male heir, and so it happened that the age difference between me and My Mama (mother’s brother) is almost nothing.

The biggest problem of coming abroad is not to be able to see loved ones at the end that always bothers me and I have had to get through a few of them over the last few years.

Things were not that advanced so everything had to be done manually, filling up of water, preparing food for the farm labourers, taking care of the household work , looking after the household animals, There was always so much work to be done and Nani was always busy doing something or the other.

She was GOOD and when I say good I do mean Good at everything ,  apart from preparing food, I remember her stitching, most of my school shirts/trousers were stitched by her not just mine but the rest of the household too,  other than that the women also had the skills of creating beautiful Phulkari’s , Women had to prepare for their dowry themselves  and by the grace of god (or was it my Grand father’s 🙂 ).. Nani had 6 daughters for whom all the Dowry had to be created, so Nani had a busy time.

I also remember the amount of time that was spent spinning the Charkha to weave thread from cotton,  The thread then used to create the beautiful bed sheets or Shawls and other type of clothes. Women had so much work to do in a day, long long working hours get up very early to make sure everything is set in motion for the day.

Men had it easy I believe as they had only one big thing to look after , tend to the fields all day long every day, I use to laugh with my Nani saying she was a Work horse never got tired, taking care of  such a big household took immense strength and Lot of hard work.

The amount of Desi Ghee, the big dollops of butter on the food I have had growing up, the yummyliscious food cooked with all that love over the fireplace, I remember I use to sit on one side of the Chulha pushing the cotton plant dried sticks for fire, as Nani cooked.

Going to bed and she would bring hot milk and tell stories till we dozed of.  Makes me think how it will be visiting the maternal grandparents house now that they are gone, time will tell.

I miss you Bibi ji world is not going to be the same place anymore.

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I have been reading a lot on how women are treated badly and how it should all be equal, I got no qualms against anyone but I do think that not everyone is same and people of all kinds take advantage of every situation men-women both.  There are a lot of people out there who are taking advantage of the new laws that have come up ..

So today i will tell you a true story and you tell me who is wrong .. My brother in law “S”  is married To “R” and lives happily in delhi, they have a beautiful daughter. I am very close to him, Now my sister in law has a younger brother “B” who also shifted to Delhi as a career move and stays with them .  About 3 years ago “B”  got married, I could not go for the wedding due to some reasons, The last time I had met my cousin and every one was in 2008 , at that time there was not even a talk about this marriage i am talking of.

I am making this point because you all will be highly astonished what has happened when people make a mockery of law and how the law’s that have been made for the uplift of women in our society are used for personal gains.. So remember this Point 2008 I had last met my cousin his wife , her brother.

2009 february time the brother got married to a girl who was still studying in the final year, They got married end of february, so after marriage within a week or so she went back to the parents house to prepare for the exams that she had to appear in March, After her exams she came straight to Delhi to stay with her husband. who was still sharing the house with my brother and wife although he had been looking for a apartment all this time, luckily for the new they got a place of their own soon and moved into a new one, this all went on till may-june time.

During all this time the girl had not visited her parents or her in-laws , as they were still admist looking for a new apartment , finding a job , setting up a home etc etc , I mean we all know the drill.

In July something happened I don’t know what , some arguments amongst the husband-wife , whatever , the girl packed her bags and went to her house…

So other than the reason of the argument which I don’t know this is all that has happened, this was followed by the usual boy trying to bring her back, the parents went to bring her back but she did not come at all.

So the girl just spent a few days in the start of her wedding in her in laws house, then the boy left her in her parents house and came to Delhi in april or may whenever the exams finished lets say april.. In July she went back that is may-june-july assuming she went on 31st July .. 3 whole months.

All this trying to patch up things went on for some time, In the end to Cut the story short divorce proceedings started.. which has been going on for long, please don’t ask me the details as I have none and this post is not about that.. NOW the latest I got to know is she has made an allegation that she was BEATEN up badly by her in-laws .. THE police was so quick to react the parents of the boy were arrested and taken to the police station where they spent a night before their lawyer got the bail done..

Other than that also the allegation of dowry which I must say as is a tradition in Punjab, it was one of those hight end weddings where a lot of give and take happened, So fair enough I got no qualms over that the Girls side wants all the dowry back, Which as far as i know has been returned BUT the boy’s side did an Intelligent thing they made sure when they returned the items it was done Via the Court so each and every item was written, but the girls and her parents have left no stone unturned to make false allegations against the family.

I mean when was she beaten in the first 5 -6 days she spent in the in -laws house if that the case then she had gone back to her parents house , WERE THEY BLIND NOT TO SEE THE BRUISES THEN.  After that She never met the in-laws so When did they beat her.  If the husband had beaten her up then again she had packed her bags and gone home again were her parents so blind they did not see their daughter bruised AGAIN.

The reason Why I am writing this note is and I had asked you all to make sure you remember that I had last met my cousin in 2008, Well In the FIR that was lodged where by it was said that she was BEATEN up, GUESS WHOSE NAME is in the list of people who BEAT her .. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS   BIKRAMJIT SINGH MANN’s name and I have not even met the girl , I have not even seen her picture let alone met her.

I got to know of this the other day when I run up home to enquire about land-crop etc from the caretaker, He Told me that Police came LOOKING FOR ME .. He also told me my cousin had been arrested and had to spend a day in jail, SO I rung my cousin who tell’s me don’t come till I say so, because if police comes to know I have come to india I might get arrested .. and I was like WTF.. are they so stupid , I live in UK thousands of miles how the hell did I beat this woman and when did I do that.

How did the Police or law or whatever register the complaint which had my details in it, DID They not enquire who or where I was,  WHen they went to my house to do whatever they went for, they got the details that I live in UK why they still have my name in the list.

Whats more amazing is how did this girl and her family find out my name and details and everything , I mean I am not related to them even, I have met my cousins in-laws only once in my life , when they had come for the last rites of my father in 2007, that was the first and last time I was introduced to them.

Now please people tell me what is this and when I write at other posts as a comment that some people use the change of law to their advantage I got lots of replies which were like taunting me .. Here we go this is a true story lets see how many of those who gave me a thumbs down or wrote those comments against me , I ask them the question What do you have to say about this .. Is this the right way to do things or IS THE WOMAN WHO IS ACCUSING ALL THESE THINGS IS SHE RIGHT in doing what she is doing..

Whatever the reason of their fight may be , if she wants a divorce then why does she not just sign the documents and get it over with move on with her life and lets others move on too, why is she putting these false allegations, even if they are true WHY has she dragged me into it when I don’t even know her.

Hmmmm I am in a funny mood … Feeling a bit nostalgic about home. emotional, feel like crying…

Why is it felt bad when a man cries, I dont think there is any harm in that anyway today i dont want to discusss this , else i will go on a tangent again.. and miss the point…

I was driving my old car, I bought it with my first salary here in Uk, its 9 years old now , its become a old banger now, but I have it , Everyone says i need to sell it off but NA, I am going ot keep it Got emotions attached to it , So i use it day in day out, It has never given me any trouble what so ever.. EVER… runs like a wind… I have another car I imported from India 🙂 yeah silly me, but I am like that. Its a Tata safari, But I dont use it that often… I am in love with my mitsubishi carisma…

I did go on a tangent there .. so I was saying Driving, I was listening to some songs when this song hit me

Chad chad chanda sohniya, tun kar roshniyaan ve
vekh ke tainu,watan diyaan kuch yadaan aiyaan ve
nahin bhulaiya bhuldiyaan , piplaan diyaan chavaan oye

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

(rise oh moon, and spread some light, seeing you reminds me of my hometown, cant forget the shadows of the trees, beautiful punjab , my punjab)

Chan de naloon Sohniyaan , mere Pind diyaan galiyaan
Galiyaan de which KHED ke kuch Rijhaan Paliyaan
Haani mere haan de MERE DIL DE JAANI
jithe bachpan bitiyaa te Chadhi jawaani..
Oh bachpan bitiyaa Main kiven bhulavaan

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

My village streets are much good looking than the moon itself, the street where i spent my childhood and became a young man.. The streets in where I played having all those wishes-wants in my heart. My friends , the kids of my age, how do i forget them the guys the people I love from my heart
How can I ever forget the streets where I spent my childhood

akhiyan moohre khedde oh khushiyan Khere
Chal Manna uth chaliye sajna de wehde
Sajna baaj na Sohndiyaan eh Sohniyaan thavaan oye

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

I can still see the fun and frolic happening in front of my eyes , Get up lets go back , cause these good looking , nice places, beautiful places dont look that great and beautiful without the loved ones..
… sorry cant convert fully but i hope you get the Jist of it all..

The loved ones i left behind, As i was driving I dont know why I had tears in the eyes and when the song ended i was crying. The funny part was they just came.

A very exciting thing happeend

THE BEST THING ( we think that as we grow old, we loose touch from people who mean so much to us, you think sometimes will they remember anything) Well before I reached work I stopped the car by the motorway in the parking bay.. I called up a number , a number which is not in my phone book, or in any diary but its sort of etched in my brain.. 009194…. I just dialled, I was hoping it would be the correct number..

“HELLO”… came a voice … when i heard the voice, the memory came back where in those good days , we had met each other for first time , and said Hello…IT WAS HIM..

I said Hello… THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE…

“OYE MANN, Teri bh__, teri ___ , tun ___ £$%£ $%£$ , more more and more “

and suddenly the tears that were flowing , turned there flow a bit higher BUT I WAS LAUGHING I had a smile big enough ear to ear. I bet the passerby’s would be thinking whats going on with this indian bloke.

After the initial choicest words of LOVE – EFFECTION he he he funny the same words felt like honey to the ears, whereas otherwise it would have been War…

“Yaar kithe hain… INDIA”…

“Check the number idiot” I said …

“When you coming , ajja yaar “… and we talked for 20 odd mintues , OH yes got late to work… but that was not on my mind ….

I had called this person after almost a year , but the first word he recognised… Funny how we go miles apart take ages to contact, whatever the reason.. But I know one thing that in my hour of need HE WILL BE THERE STANDING, no matter how many years go by without being in touch.
Maybe it was my fault , well not maybe IT IS.. my fault I should have contacted earlier.. but we have become so busy in lifes that time has become a necessity.. So I have promised my self every weekend I am going to call at least 2 people i care for.

I remember about 3 years ago, I was with someone very close to me, we dialled a number cause She wanted to know if my friends remember me , we dialled and the same reaction “OYE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”

Mann is my surname BTW before you guys think its MAN.. I am a Man too but its my surname MANN he he he he

It has ELATED Me so much, I feel so light and LOVED mmmmmmmm its a warm feeling.. to be loved and cared for… And Now i am ready for the day to any challenge that may come my way ….

So guys anyone reading this, pick that phone up dial a number, get in touch with someone you have not been in touch for ages. Give it a Go you never know what you will hear when you say the word “HELLO”.. hopefully after you have pressed the red button on your mobile to end the call.. you will have a beaming smile, READY to take on the WORLD… and your heart singing

Nach lai Ga lai , bhangre pa lai, mauj mana lai yaraa
eh din roj roj nahin aune , appan khushiyaan naal handaune
nachna aap te YAAR nachaune , oye aish mana lai

hmmmm …. Good luck people…

Hmmmm I am in a funny mood … Feeling a bit nostalgic about home. emotional, feel like crying…

Why is it felt bad when a man cries, I dont think there is any harm in that anyway today i dont want to discusss this , else i will go on a tangent again.. and miss the point…

I was driving my old car, I bought it with my first salary here in Uk, its 9 years old now , its become a old banger now, but I have it , Everyone says i need to sell it off but NA, I am going ot keep it Got emotions attached to it , So i use it day in day out, It has never given me any trouble what so ever.. EVER… runs like a wind… I have another car I imported from India 🙂 yeah silly me, but I am like that. Its a Tata safari, But I dont use it that often… I am in love with my mitsubishi carisma…

I did go on a tangent there .. so I was saying Driving, I was listening to some songs when this song hit me

Chad chad chanda sohniya, tun kar roshniyaan ve
vekh ke tainu,watan diyaan kuch yadaan aiyaan ve
nahin bhulaiya bhuldiyaan , piplaan diyaan chavaan oye

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

(rise oh moon, and spread some light, seeing you reminds me of my hometown, cant forget the shadows of the trees, beautiful punjab , my punjab)

Chan de naloon Sohniyaan , mere Pind diyaan galiyaan
Galiyaan de which KHED ke kuch Rijhaan Paliyaan
Haani mere haan de MERE DIL DE JAANI
jithe bachpan bitiyaa te Chadhi jawaani..
Oh bachpan bitiyaa Main kiven bhulavaan

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

My village streets are much good looking than the moon itself, the street where i spent my childhood and became a young man.. The streets in where I played having all those wishes-wants in my heart. My friends , the kids of my age, how do i forget them the guys the people I love from my heart
How can I ever forget the streets where I spent my childhood

akhiyan moohre khedde oh khushiyan Khere
Chal Manna uth chaliye sajna de wehde
Sajna baaj na Sohndiyaan eh Sohniyaan thavaan oye

SOHNE DESH PUNJAB TO MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE
SOHNE WATAN PUNJAB TON MAIN SADKE JAVAAN OYE

I can still see the fun and frolic happening in front of my eyes , Get up lets go back , cause these good looking , nice places, beautiful places dont look that great and beautiful without the loved ones..
… sorry cant convert fully but i hope you get the Jist of it all..

The loved ones i left behind, As i was driving I dont know why I had tears in the eyes and when the song ended i was crying. The funny part was they just came.

A very exciting thing happeend

THE BEST THING ( we think that as we grow old, we loose touch from people who mean so much to us, you think sometimes will they remember anything) Well before I reached work I stopped the car by the motorway in the parking bay.. I called up a number , a number which is not in my phone book, or in any diary but its sort of etched in my brain.. 009194…. I just dialled, I was hoping it would be the correct number..

“HELLO”… came a voice … when i heard the voice, the memory came back where in those good days , we had met each other for first time , and said Hello…IT WAS HIM..

I said Hello… THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE…

“OYE MANN, Teri bh__, teri ___ , tun ___ £$%£ $%£$ , more more and more “

and suddenly the tears that were flowing , turned there flow a bit higher BUT I WAS LAUGHING I had a smile big enough ear to ear. I bet the passerby’s would be thinking whats going on with this indian bloke.

After the initial choicest words of LOVE – EFFECTION he he he funny the same words felt like honey to the ears, whereas otherwise it would have been War…

“Yaar kithe hain… INDIA”…

“Check the number idiot” I said …

“When you coming , ajja yaar “… and we talked for 20 odd mintues , OH yes got late to work… but that was not on my mind ….

I had called this person after almost a year , but the first word he recognised… Funny how we go miles apart take ages to contact, whatever the reason.. But I know one thing that in my hour of need HE WILL BE THERE STANDING, no matter how many years go by without being in touch.
Maybe it was my fault , well not maybe IT IS.. my fault I should have contacted earlier.. but we have become so busy in lifes that time has become a necessity.. So I have promised my self every weekend I am going to call at least 2 people i care for.

I remember about 3 years ago, I was with someone very close to me, we dialled a number cause She wanted to know if my friends remember me , we dialled and the same reaction “OYE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”

Mann is my surname BTW before you guys think its MAN.. I am a Man too but its my surname MANN he he he he

It has ELATED Me so much, I feel so light and LOVED mmmmmmmm its a warm feeling.. to be loved and cared for… And Now i am ready for the day to any challenge that may come my way ….

So guys anyone reading this, pick that phone up dial a number, get in touch with someone you have not been in touch for ages. Give it a Go you never know what you will hear when you say the word “HELLO”.. hopefully after you have pressed the red button on your mobile to end the call.. you will have a beaming smile, READY to take on the WORLD… and your heart singing

Nach lai Ga lai , bhangre pa lai, mauj mana lai yaraa
eh din roj roj nahin aune , appan khushiyaan naal handaune
nachna aap te YAAR nachaune , oye aish mana lai

hmmmm …. Good luck people…