Bibi Ji

Posted: April 22, 2018 in A Phone call, Aging, Family, Grandparents, Memories, Village
Tags: , ,

One of the most beautiful relationship that a person can have is the one that is shared between a Grandmother and Grandson… Especially with maternal Grandma. My Nani passed away last week at a ripe age of 95, As always each time the phone rings early morning it makes you sit up thinking of the worse and so it was.

So many memories flash by when you hear of someone close passing over, the earliest memories that I have are of my summer vacations spent in the village at my maternal grandparents house.  We use to call my grandma Bibi.

Kids in those days use to be got married off especially girls at a very early age, My mom was only 18 when she was married and funny as it may sound the race to have a male heir for the family name meant try try until you have a male child , so was the case here too ,  Nani had to give birth to 6 girls before she had a male heir, and so it happened that the age difference between me and My Mama (mother’s brother) is almost nothing.

The biggest problem of coming abroad is not to be able to see loved ones at the end that always bothers me and I have had to get through a few of them over the last few years.

Things were not that advanced so everything had to be done manually, filling up of water, preparing food for the farm labourers, taking care of the household work , looking after the household animals, There was always so much work to be done and Nani was always busy doing something or the other.

She was GOOD and when I say good I do mean Good at everything ,  apart from preparing food, I remember her stitching, most of my school shirts/trousers were stitched by her not just mine but the rest of the household too,  other than that the women also had the skills of creating beautiful Phulkari’s , Women had to prepare for their dowry themselves  and by the grace of god (or was it my Grand father’s 🙂 ).. Nani had 6 daughters for whom all the Dowry had to be created, so Nani had a busy time.

I also remember the amount of time that was spent spinning the Charkha to weave thread from cotton,  The thread then used to create the beautiful bed sheets or Shawls and other type of clothes. Women had so much work to do in a day, long long working hours get up very early to make sure everything is set in motion for the day.

Men had it easy I believe as they had only one big thing to look after , tend to the fields all day long every day, I use to laugh with my Nani saying she was a Work horse never got tired, taking care of  such a big household took immense strength and Lot of hard work.

The amount of Desi Ghee, the big dollops of butter on the food I have had growing up, the yummyliscious food cooked with all that love over the fireplace, I remember I use to sit on one side of the Chulha pushing the cotton plant dried sticks for fire, as Nani cooked.

Going to bed and she would bring hot milk and tell stories till we dozed of.  Makes me think how it will be visiting the maternal grandparents house now that they are gone, time will tell.

I miss you Bibi ji world is not going to be the same place anymore.



  1. brookejcutler says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. She looks like such a beautiful lady. 🙂 I couldn’t agree more: the relationship between grandparent and grandchild is one to be cherished. 😊


  2. Rekha says:

    So sorry for your loss, biks. This most reminded me of my maternal grandmother. Grandmothers are the best, especially maternal ones. 🙂


  3. KP says:

    Sorry to learn about the bereavement.I have often wondered why maternal grandmothers occupy a special corner in our hearts.Could it be due to their staying with mamas and visiting us occasionally? It is a touching post bringing to notice how womenfolk of the olden days toiled all day long without any of the labour- saving gadgets that we have presently and yet finding time to spend with grandchildren to tell them stories or to teach the young girls many of the fine arts they know.Generally grandparents pass away while grandchildren are still young leaving only fond memories to cherish upon.


  4. indishe says:

    Grandmothers are always special


  5. SG says:

    My heartfelt condolences. May Bibi Ji rest in peace.


  6. Sherry says:

    For every life has a purpose to fill, a purpose which us humans can seldom infer. Grandparents are a gift from heaven, whose purpose is to make us world understand what love, goodness, and humbleness is all about. Goodness belongs to heaven, and I know she is watching u from there, bestowing her beautiful smile upon you. May her soul rest in peace.


  7. Angels have to go back to their homes and the memory you made with Nani has kept her forever alive Bikram. A beautiful tribute and may the force be with your family.


  8. Sorry to hear of your loss but also 95 had been a fantastic innings in life and she would have dispelled so much wisdom and love from her experiences in life. May her soul live on gracefully in the lap of Waheguru. 🙏. Stay blessed my friend and my regards to family.


  9. scorpria says:

    That picture of your Nani makes her look like a soft blob of cotton 💕😍
    I know I should pass on condolences, but your post is so full of good memories, I actually felt the love flowing. She must be up there, raging this all up and having a gentle chuckle down at you. Blessed you are to have had a granny so loving!


  10. Zephyr says:

    Oh, so sorry to know about your loss, Bikram. Though we all know that elders will pass on someday, it is still hard to bear the pain of parting when it happens. Esepcially when you are so far away. Hugs.


  11. I don’t think men would’ve had it easy even in those days… after all most of them were married 😛

    Destination Infinity
    PS: Wish you were able to attend the final rites…


  12. Very touching post Bikram, I could relate to every word of what you said. All that remains in life till we are around are our precious memories and those memories keep us alive.


  13. Anita says:

    Sorry to learn of your loss, Bikram.
    She reminds me of my granny. I miss her so much…
    Am sure or grandmothers are watching over us as our guardian angels.


  14. Shilpa Garg says:

    Heartfelt condolences, Bikram. May Bibi Ji rest in peace. She will forever remain alive in your heart and memories.


  15. Prajakta says:

    I am really sorry for your loss – the bond we share with our parents is so unique and there is so much to learn from them. I hope you are able to carry forward her legacy in your own unique way.


  16. Shagun says:

    I am so sorry for loss. Your Nani Maa seems to be a amazing lady. My grandpa dies about a year and half ago and miss him every single day. Reading about your Nani Maa made me took out his picture from my wallet.
    Grandparents are so amazing. I don’t understand why many children don’t have strong bond with them.
    Power to you Bikram. Stay strong.


  17. dNambiar says:

    Sorry to hear that Bik.
    She left you with a whole lot of lovely memories to hang on to. 🙂

    Take care.


  18. Onkar Kedia says:

    My condolences.


  19. sm says:

    sorry to know about your loss
    you wrote it beautifully great post


  20. Their generation was filled with happy, loving people. Sorry to hear the loss of your Bibiji. But her memories will be there always in your mind. Take care.


  21. manchitra says:

    Heartfelt condolences Bikram
    None can take her place.
    You have described her beautifully. I could picturize everything as I was reading.

    My mom was also like your Nani with 6 kids and passed away last May at the age of 82. She also made garments and whole lot of household chores. She also saw that I got higher education, really feel so proud of her. Whatever I am today is because of her.


  22. leendadll says:

    this is a lovely tribute. i’m sorry for your loss.


  23. Rinks says:

    Can understand your feelings, lost my bua last week and Im not able to get over it.Sending you loads of strength right now. I had plans to visit my bua in July this year, as I had not seen her for last 10 years. It haunts me now that I didnt find enough time in last 10 years…..


  24. theed says:

    Ah, sorry to hear that B. But that was such a nice eulogy for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Nikita says:

    I cried a little reading this one. I moved abroad 5 years ago and I know this feeling of not seeing your family for months. It breaks you inside and you go on quietly suffering.

    Your nani had a majestic charm. ❤


  26. Jacqueline Gomes says:

    Hi… just ready your post.. sorry to hear about your Bibi Ji.. Hope all is well.


  27. Not everyone is lucky enough to share this relationship. . Life is too short


  28. myamusingmind says:

    sorry to hear about your loss. I so miss the bond that I shared with my grand mom..paternal. I called her Amma


  29. What a beautiful post in her memory. Liked your other posts too.


  30. Pinkey Sen says:

    Great Blog with Great Ideas. Keep up the good work and God bless.


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