Week 4- A Family Member

Posted: February 9, 2015 in Age, Bikramism, Dad, Experiences, Family, Memories, Parents
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52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 4 Says the title is “A FAMILY MEMBER”

From the previous post it is fairly obvious that I am a family man sort of person , who believes a lot in family as a whole, and to pick one family member is a bit difficult for me , as whatever I am , who I am has all been because of the constant hard work done by a lot of family members.

I can definitely not choose between my Father and Mother , well they are the reason I am here :), had they not been together and done what they needed to do I would not be here writing this post.. So good or bad, HERE I AM 🙂 Which reminds me of a famous saying

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

I wrote an article a few years back on fathers day, When I was growing up I am sure I missed a lot of chances to tell my parents that I love the,, Rather being a typical kid I don’t think I ever said to them.

I am not sure why we, especially the kids from my generation never were so close to their Father, It was always the mother one was close to, although ways are changing fathers are spending more time with kids, getting to know them. We even have a organisation called justice for Father’s, because I feel even the law has been biased towards the mother all these years, during a separation or a divorce it was an obvious choice for the kids to be handed over to a mother. Anyway that is a different topic to talk about.

Coming back to the topic on hand, Gratitude,I am so very thankful to my parents for doing their best always to make sure I am provided for, I have studied in one of the best schools in india in those days, which was not very cheap. The tuition fees , hostel fees amounted to a lot of money, The school sent bills every 3 or 4 months, it was paid right on time every time, I had never seen my parents say anything about it ever, I mean I get bills now sometimes for the house Electricity or gas bills , many a times the thought comes to mind that if only it came next month, I would be better off. But I don’t think I ever saw it on my parents.

There is another thing I want to say here, this might be a SHOW off statement too, But my father was a Govt. official and in a position where a lot of money was involved, I know every child will probably say that about his parents but I am sure my father earned his money the hard way, reminded me the day he got retired, there was a party organised. The amount of people that came and even today when I go to India I meet so many people who remember him .

Mom on other hand was a typical Punjabi woman who got married when she was just 17, I am also sure she did not have a choice who to marry , it was probably the same as is for every other woman, her dad found the man she was to marry and from a village she came to a city. Where she lived her life as a house wife.

When things were hard for the parents after the Step family split and my father left everything to his step family, I was only 7 or 8 , remember clearly those times, starting afresh and just one person doing a job, I bet the lure to earn money would have been so much at that time but I am glad he remained true to his principles, Mom started helping by Knitting, she started this little school where she taught a couple of ladies how to Knit, the little tuition money helped a lot . Slowly things started to work out , we had moved into a one room house, it was the four of us Also in those days My mother’s younger sister was doing her degree in Chandigarh , she use to stay with us, so it was a lot of people in a little place.

Dad started to build an extra rooms in the part of property that we had, and in probably a year or so we had a three bedroom house which was big enough for us all. I am not sure what to write or continue writing there are so many things ..

All I can say is I am proud to have the parents I have, I hope they are proud of me. I just pray to god that he gives me the strength to not do anything that would hurt their sentiments.

  1. shivani says:

    i guess Bikram ur Ma and ur Dad (i know is one among the universe but always in you now) both would be as proud of you as you have your feelings for them.
    That we are blessed to have parents is enough. We know true selfless love. i have grown in a family where we would display our this love openly like hugging and kissing whereas in my husband’s family it was not so. It depends but i see no reason to judge the love or gratitude in anyway. It’s an inward feeling and feelings are reached to the one it is directed to. My son apparently seems to the world very close to me but i know to his father he is no less. And it is vice versa.
    i love reading ur posts. Reaches directly across and i do understand how you feel.
    Yeah i agree Sir jee both have their roles and it’s not fair to compare whose contribution is greater. But ik gaall suno…ma to janam deti hai na…isliyay thodi special ho jaati hai…woh umblical chord waala connection jo hota hai…
    🙂 🙂 🙂


  2. mumbaimadrasi says:

    This was a post more emotional towards the end.I loved reading it. Often very less is spoken about fathers. Mothers always have a soft corner and she is always praised, thanked , whatever. I do not mean mothers aint important , but fathers always have this soft inside, hard to break, silent type of image. Being a daddys girl I have always had a little extra love for him. This post reminded me of the hardship that we also gradually overcame together as a family and touchwood going happy ever after.

    And yes, you are truly blessed 🙂


  3. padmaja says:

    I related to the post from beginning to end, I felt like my son was speaking to me! He ends every phone call we have with a love you ma and that is the bridge for the distance between us physically.Thank you for this lovely post.


  4. That is very inspiring. Those who start with nothing know the value of every penny they have. Good to know about your parents. Respect!


  5. Rinks says:

    Hey Bikram, that was a nice post. Its true that mothers are given more importance than fathers and our parents generation were not very physical about their expressions to their kids hence fathers lost out but times are changing now. Kids are more aware and fathers too taking active part in their lives. I make up to my father by spending more time with him whenever I’m home or even on the phone. I Talk to him more than my mom just to make sure he feels loved and treasured and that he knows I appreciate what he did for me and my brother when we were growing up. Cheers for all the dad’s in the world !


  6. Lily Lau says:

    I loved the father and daddy quote, so true! 🙂


  7. A post straight from the heart. I think we never become able enough to repay the love which our parents bestowed upon us. The best thing we can do is to make them happy or proud. And I’m sure your parents are always proud of you… 🙂 Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories….


  8. greenboochi says:

    Wonderful post, Bikram. We can never write about our patents in a single post. I could relate a lot from this post.. Starting from scratch, mom getting married from village to a city, giving the best for children. Parents are the best.


  9. Nagini says:

    Thanks for sharing some precious pages of your life..A great post 🙂


  10. Rachna says:

    As much as I know you, I know you will always be in their hearts. It is clear how much you love both of them. I remember your Father’s Day post clearly. What would we be without our parents? God bless!


  11. B k chowla says:

    But,this too,is a fact that we realise their value after its too late.

    Reminds me of a saying….MAA JANENDI SATT,KARAM NAA DENDI VANDH


  12. Poonam says:

    Coming here after so long and seeing this post makes me realize wat i have been missing so far….respect to ur mom n dad and hats off to u that u gathered so much so to present ur gratitude….


  13. Ashwini says:

    Not that we dont value what our parents do for us, but when we stop to pause and think how wel they’ve taken care of our needs, my God! 🙂


  14. Your post reminded me of my grandfather.. he was also well respected and even today when I mention his name, people’s reaction changes completely.
    You are lucky to have such loving parents. I miss parents a lot too because of all the distance.


  15. Bharti says:

    You have captured the emotions of a parent-child relation so well in words. There is no doubt that your parents must be beaming with pride every single day…
    Shine on!!


  16. Anita says:

    Lovely thoughts. Touching post.
    Even I feel the same about my parents.
    May God bless our parents 🙂


  17. ruchira says:

    beautiful post, B

    All I can say is “Amen” to your thoughts!


  18. heerman says:

    nice thoughts bicky..
    we should always be proud of parents ,, well said 🙂


  19. Every family has its ups and downs and we go in and come out of it together… I’m very close to my parents, I’m their pet so to speak… (but then I’m a pet to most of the people I am with :)) to the point that my brother sometimes thinks that I am their only child, may be his younger sister than the elder one.. never felt a difference in my love or approach to either of them.. and I cannot visualize my family without either of them.. so much so that, they form one unit..


  20. G Angela says:

    very inspiring post, brought in some memories of my parents, thanks for sharing !


  21. dNambiar says:

    You sure have a lot to be proud of, Bik. And I’m sure your parents are proud of you too. Your personality shows through your posts and comments. How could they not be proud of you. 🙂
    Have a great week. Bikram.


  22. I need to take this challenge. Thanks for sharing.


  23. sindhoooo says:

    Happy to know your affection for your parents… Yes, it is difficult to find a full stop when talking about them 🙂 They would definitely be proud of you, they might have a lot more things to tell about you than you might have to tell about them…


  24. Panchali says:

    Wow! Now that has to be something to shout about. …Lovely article…..you parents are proud of you too, Bikram. Your family is blessed with your presence and care. :))


  25. Deepa says:

    Nice read.
    Will go back and read the other posts before commenting.


  26. Amit Agarwal says:

    Lovely, touching! God bless…


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