Day 20- Week 3- Family

Posted: January 20, 2015 in Age, Children, Dad, Family, Grandparents, Nostalgic
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

52 weeks of Gratitude .. Week 3 is here and the topic is Family

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I have a big family, hence i have a lot of people to be thankful to. While I was growing up I have always been taught the values of Family, now grown up I have my own lessons learnt. To me family is most important, when everyone leaves you , when no one has time for you it is family who stands by you always, As they say Blood is thicker than water always.

Yes we have our ups and downs, some nasty experiences with some members of the family have also taught a handy lesson especially when things like property-money come into the picture, but still I do feel that Family is and should mean the most always.

As I have mentioned in a few articles since 17th Dec to 13th jan things have been going very bad and it is usually during the bad times that one tends to realise who is how close to you or who genuinely thinks about you and feels about you, I have been lucky that the phone or the emails or the whatsapp messages have not stopped at all, It never felt that i was alone here in uk or that almost all of the family is back home in India.

I have wished many a times that family was nearby so I could at least sit and Cry my heart out, I have also thought that maybe I need to stop everything i am doing and just go back each time there has always been someone on the other side of the phone ready to listen to me, yes I have friends here but it’s not enough, people have their own agenda here , will give you an example my supposedly BEST FRIENDS in uk came once to see me on the 3rd january and one of them had exactly 6 minutes to spare for me. YET we are the closest or so I thought all these years. Have-not had a Single phone call not that any of that would have helped , All that had to be done had to be done and I did do it all But not having enough family here in UK hurt a lot.

One of the disadvantages of living so far away from family :(.

I mentioned above that I have a big family but sadly now the number is dwindling , many of the older generation have passed away, that’s how life works I guess. I will need to go to India very soon for a few days to fulfil a religious duty and I have promised myself that I am going to Meet EACH AND EVERY member of my family where-ever they are in the country. I am going to forget for the time being the bad blood we have had or spilt especially after my dad passed away, and Just go meet them all and HUG them, Don’t know when the next time will be.

I must say that I am thankful to everyone as each and every member of the family has been so good to me, I am one of the lucky ones who has got Love from everyone, Since I was the first male child in the family I have been spoilt rotten .

My grandfather (both of them)

My Nani spoils me still , I talk to her on phone sometimes she is hard of hearing so can’t understand what I am saying, but she is sweet to say I should shut-up and listen to what she is saying, and she will listen to my replies when I come to see her in India.

My Maasi’s are lovely and my youngest Maasi is so adorable , I made her cry so many times as there is not much of a age difference between us, whenever I went to the village for summer vacation she made sure that i got Hot food, would put an extra dollop of Butter in my food compared to my sister’s or my cousins. The day she got married I remember going up-to her husband and threatening him to make sure he takes care of her or else :0..

All my cousins they are all such lovely human beings, being the eldest had an advantage, in Punjab we have this tradition calling veerji to elder brother, I miss that here in uk not many call me Veerji here. I have bullied my cousins at times, even shouted at them or maybe even slapped but never ever have they retaliated back even now I can vouch they have all grown up to be fine young men and women yet they just listen to my rants when I go on a tangent sometimes.. (Yeah I have my moments too )

I would not have liked to talk about my Chacha(Father’s brother) or Bhua’s (father’s sisters) but that would make me a hypocrite after what i have just written above, They are family too , whatever they have done for obvious reasons after my dad passed away is probably their thoughts, I can’t change that maybe they need the money property etc more than us, so its fine. I still want to say thanks to them because Chachu use to be a good man, he taught me how to ride a scooter and drive a jeep in my early days , he also taught me how to fire a rifle. Bhua’s got married and went to USA, but whenever they came to visit us , they brought a lot of goodies for me jackets,toys, sweets etc. etc. Dont know what has happened to all that love they use to have , maybe something wrong with me , maybe I did something wrong.

My Grandma (Dadi) – I had never ever felt she was my step Grandma, when I was growing up, so much love she had showered upon me, when I was in hostel She would come almost every other weekend to meet me , pampered me , during festivals give me so much money – gifts. My mom was only 16-17 when she had me so its my Grandma who practically raised me as a child, My bhua still complains of the fact that Once me and her daughter were playing in the garden – a snake was seen and my grand ma PICKED me up , running to safety leaving my cousin behind. But again sadly since my grand-pa and my father passed things have changed dramatically, I am no more even welcome to the main house we had when everyone live together.

But still this time when I go , I will make sure I go and take her blessings, even if the other side of the family have threatened to harm me. That doesn’t bother me because my parents my mother and father have always taught me to respect the elders no matter who they are , and the BEST thing they taught me was that no matter what fights the Grown ups had I should always respect them as I did before the fights.

My parents well all i can say is I am thankful they are my parents , WHATEVER,WHOEVER I am is because of them, Whatever I have learned – Earned – Got is all because of all the hard work they both have put in raising me. My parents have both worked very very hard especially since the day they were asked to leave the family house to start in a new house from scratch about a year after my Chacha got married. We started from a humble beginning One room house , as my father did not want to take anything from his father. I have seen some poor times but slowly through hard work my parents raised us. I can proudly say that I have studied in the One of the TOP 5 schools of India in those days.

I am so very thankful to them both, I hope I can live up to their expectations. I pray to god to never let me do anything that would hurt them, and hope sometimes that I have been a good boy in the family and have not hurt anyone deliberately.

I am thankful to god for making sure that I was born in such a beautiful family.

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Comments
  1. Sia says:

    Bikram – I always say ” No family is perfect, we argue, we fight, we even stop talking to one another. But in the end, family is family and there is noone like that!

    Like

  2. padmaja says:

    You touched my heart, felt I have known you for years now! Hope you will meet every one of them as you said, hope your chacha n bhua will read this post and some magic happens.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Thank you so much mam. I am touched with that lovely comment… I am going to do my best and make an effort to go to them instead of waiting for them to come ot me … and lets hope for that magic.. because I had a good relation with my cousins ..

      Like

  3. Trish says:

    Beautiful post,Bikram.. as always a post from your heart and I caught a glance of the little boy hiding inside you..be as you are..always!
    Ohh! And come visit me..I promise to call you Veerji πŸ™‚

    Like

  4. beloome says:

    A post from the heart, Bikram. Good to know a bit about your family and the people who have influenced you in life, people who doted on you growing up πŸ™‚
    We all have some of those relatives in our extended families who we wish would be more understanding or compassionate, but I guess that’s life. It gives us experiences of a varied nature, gives people in our lives that are of such diverse temperaments and character, so that we can learn from those diverse interactions and experiences. At this stage in my life when I am ready to hit mid-century, this is the lesson I have learned from life and from my experiences with family – close and distant. And for that I am very thankful indeed.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Thank you so muchhhhhhhhhhhh… I been blessed and god has been very kind to me.
      you are right when you say that is LIFE, and yes we need to learn from the experience for sure.

      Thank you for sharing your experience mam..

      Like

  5. sindhoooo says:

    It was nice to know about your family Bikram πŸ™‚ Everyone’s family has issues. People take a lot of time to realise that love and relationships are more important than any worldly possessions. May your family understands this soon!

    Like

  6. Novroz says:

    It’s so nice to read how you describe your family members. My family is my most important people in the world

    Like

  7. I hope and pray that things are better or will be better soon. About the 6-minute-visit people, you shouldn’t call them friends. I learnt it last year that there is no point in having friends who can’t be with you when you need them. It doubles your pain.

    It’s a heart warming post otherwise.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Thank you Saru for the lovely wishes. I know I should not beleive me i do try a lot ..
      and you learnt right, life teaches a lot of lessons .. and as you say it doubles the pain ..

      Thank you Saru

      Like

  8. Deboshree says:

    An absolutely beautiful post Bikram. Family is the best. πŸ™‚

    Like

  9. sweety says:

    The big punjabi khandaan!! Wonderful post!! We are a big family too and trust me when i say things would end up good n happy..

    Like

  10. Ashwini says:

    As much as people talk about friends, as you said Family matters most to me. I love the way my family is connected and how many of us in our generation still make it a point to stay in touch!

    It was really nice to read about your family πŸ™‚

    Like

  11. D says:

    A straight from the heart post that touched! Yes, family is definitely most important relations may worsen sometimes, but the fact is that they are people who you are related to, and that is a truth no one can deny!

    Like

  12. anisnest says:

    this is a heartwarming post Bikram.. hugs to you.. Think that your tough times whatever be it just a phase.. this too shall pass.. stay strong..

    Like

  13. Great to know about your family…the people who have influenced you and love you the most. Family is such a bonding which we understand when we are compelled to live far from them…it hurts… really…

    Like

  14. sm says:

    beautiful heart touching post

    Like

  15. Maddie says:

    What a lovely beautiful post. Hope you are alright. I don’t know what tough times you are going through but I know time is a great healer and it is during these times that you know your closed ones in the family.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Thank you so muchhhhhhhhh…. I am ok nothing to worry , I am sure i will survive this also. the last few years have not been good although i try to smile my way out if it πŸ™‚ anyway All’s well that ends well is what I think.

      and you are right in times like this one comes to know who is who ..

      Like

  16. such a heart touching post Bik.. You rarely write about your family, with this post I think I know you a bit better.
    I come from a big family too and I am the eldest of my cousins, inch-pinch on that..

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      TPP thank you so much and hey good to see you here , its been a long long time .. πŸ™‚

      yayyyyyyyyy same pinch on that one .. its not easy being the eldest one I tell you

      Like

  17. Rachna says:

    Family is everything. I miss staying away from my sister, brother and dad. We don’t get to meet as often as we would like to. Have some extended family but not really close to them. Hardly meet.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      YEs Rachna, it is . I miss the whole thing so much, it is sad that we all have to part and go our own ways wish life was more simpler.
      heres wishing you meet up with everyone very very sooon..

      Like

  18. Bhagyashree says:

    This post brought tears Mann. We may fight, we may argue but family is family. Everyone has this phases when everything looks difficult but hang on…this too will pass.
    Friends are important no doubt but then there is some degree of superficiality. Family knows you for who you are, no pretenses, no illusions.
    Take care….

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Hello.. good to see you here , its been a long time . fingers crossed as you say this too shall pass.. and you are 100% right that there is some degree of superficiality,

      Thank you so much

      Like

  19. Zephyr says:

    A heartfelt post in which you have articulated everything a loving human being feels and says. And no, Bikram. If someone doesn’t love you anymore, it has nothing to do with you. It is entirely their loss. So quit blaming yourself, ok? I have read bits and pieces about your family, but this is a complete one. And yes, family is the best no matter how flawed or dysfunctional.

    Like

  20. Many Thanks for sharing this with us bro. As the old saying in the Godfather movies go…”you never lose your family”. Yes we all have our ups and downs, misinterpretations, he said she said, spill the blood whatever. But as my mum always says, during the good and bad times, it’s your family who are better suited standing alongside you, rather your friends. You can have the best friends in the world but your memories of growing up are family and they are like an imprint on your brain. Don’t mind me asking, where in the UK are you at…
    Have a nice day.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      He was right .. in the end family stood with him right or wrong is not the question ..

      friends are different breed especially in foreign shores, maybe i am too finicky or choosy and have these set ideas of friendship as was back home in india.. here its different story.
      You are perfectly right..

      where i live now that is another story.. i was in birmingham then moved to sunderland.. and now thinking different again πŸ™‚

      Like

  21. You made me emotional too. You must be really missing them a lot. You are right. No matter what happens, family is and will always be family.
    And most importantly, when someone hurts us, the first thing we do is, be angry at them. But the next thing we need to do is forgive them and move on for our peace of mind. Never blame yourself. That’s not at all okay.
    I really wish things turn out all well after the visit. Take care bikram.

    Like

  22. greenboochi says:

    Such a beautiful post πŸ™‚ Had me in tears.

    Like

  23. Very touching post, Bikram. When you whole heartedly love your family so much, you will never get hurt even if they try to hurt you. Just think that they are all passing clouds. Family is always family. Friends are not for life. Take care.

    Like

  24. Smitha says:

    Hugs Bikram! This post had me in tears. Hugs.

    Like

  25. Loved reading your article… So true.. Family is all about different family and SPL thing is bonding beyond conflicts

    Like

  26. Jay says:

    It’s such a sad thing when the elders whom once showered so much of love and affection gives cold shoulders. ;-(

    Like

  27. Vaayadi Pennu ;) says:

    True, family is the bestest… they are by us whatever the matter.. everytime πŸ™‚ hugs fellow..

    Like

  28. […] the previous post it is fairly obvious that I am a family man sort of person , who believes a lot in family as a […]

    Like

  29. Archana Kapoor says:

    What a lovely, heartfelt post Bikram… thoroughly enjoyed reading it… btw, I could totally relate with whatever you wrote because I have a huge family too… and am proud of it πŸ™‚
    Cheers, Archana – http://www.drishti.co

    Like

  30. Family is very important and mine is my lifeline.. Sadly, I have stopped seeing them or talking to them as openly as I used to.. things change.. people lose their tracks.. and I freeze the moments when they were their best!!

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Oh yes well said it is very important ..
      you are right things change such is life i guess .. but even then i feel that family does stick by when the need comes

      Like

  31. Amit Agarwal says:

    What a lovely post on a lovely family, paa ji πŸ™‚ Senti kar diya ji πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Like

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