Day 2 :- Tradition

Posted: January 2, 2015 in Bikramism, Blogathon, Feeling Funny, Humour
Tags: , , , , ,

Update 03=01-2015..
One of my readers pointed out that i need to amend the disclaimer..

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblance to ME, or anyone else. Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, NO SIMILARITY TO ANY CASTE-CREED-RELIGION-NATIONALITY is INFERRED... No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

This has become a tradition of sorts I post a funny joke or poem each year as the first post of the year, This is the 4th year of blogging on wordpress, the last Two days have been one of the worst starts a person can have for a new year, I am wondering now how the rest of the year will be ..but more on that later… So here is a lovely funny poem which i have now posted a few times and sorry if you are having to read it again 🙂 and I do hope that you find it funny too..

Now this is a story about Manjeet,
Who lived on New York’s 42nd Street.

A hard-core desi with a desi desire,
To control his heat he looked for a Kaur
and started by knocking on his neighbour’s door.

His neighbour was a Vilayatan of Afro descent,
five feet five tall with a Brooklyn accent.

Her name was Myson.
She looked like a Bison,

But that didn’t matter.
Cos our veer Jeeta was fatter!

Jeeta short for Manjeet, was desperate, and he had little choice.
So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice;

“Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari, Meri Heer, Meri Kali!”

She listened to his lines then gave him the crux;
“I’ll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!”

He put on his Brylcream and they started to date.
Jeeta was in love; “Oh, thank-jooooo fate!”

But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl,
She’d smelt the perfume, it was foul!

Her senses were tingling, something was up.
So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup!

She found him quickly in his Pug laal,
Then gave a shriek “OH KALI DE NAAL!” “Nee main marrjaan!”

Aunty Bachno raises the alarm;
“Jeeta’s down town with a Kali on his arm!”
“There’s only one way to stop his blunder, I’ll call his mother in district Jallundar!”

When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy!
“Main audhay tukde karke rakh doongi!”

She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika,
To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta!

As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear,
“Stick to Punjabis!, Main tenoo kinee wari kiha!?”

Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota!
Why didn’t you come to me? I know many Punjabis!

“OK mummy ji, just find me a voti
Who’ll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!”

“My kali friend was a bad move,
She doesn’t even like the Bhangra groove!”

“Serves you right! I’ve told you many times,
Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!”

“I’ll find you a kuree in Englaaand my son,
I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!”

“OH Mummy , get the jalebis, ladoos, patashe, shakar paare.. and lead the way!
Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!”

I’m on my way!

SO how is it going guyssssssssssssss..

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblance to ME, or anyone else. Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

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Comments
  1. Visha says:

    “to control his heat” ROFL 😆 😆 😆

    Like

  2. hopeless 😛

    Destination Infinity

    Like

  3. ramananth says:

    I couldn’t stop laughing, you are so good Bikram!
    Happy New Year to You too!
    God bless you dear friend.

    Like

  4. KP says:

    I read it first time and was smiling.Agood start on 2015 on a happy note.

    Like

  5. SG says:

    HaHaHa. Very funny. Hope he finds a nice Punjabi kuree.

    Like

  6. ladynimue says:

    haha . i was going to skip the post when i read tradition but am glad i read it. superrrrrr sebhi upaaarrr

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Helooooooooooooooooooooo SKIP and that too my POST noooooooooooooooooooooo how can you do that.. nooooooooooooooooooooooooo no wonder i get one less comment these days he he he hehe 🙂

      how are you and how is everything going on .. did you have a good new year .. happy new year to you and family …

      Like

  7. sindhoooo says:

    I am amazed that you are thinking of making your readers happy when you are not! It a rare but great quality a human being can have! So sad that the year didn’t start well. Cheer up Bikram! The end need not be like the starting 🙂 Life is full of surprises, just wait and see 🙂

    TC! Keep smiling 🙂

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Welcome here and thank you so much for the lovely words. Its ok if the year did not start well, just one of those things that we learn as we grow up, the idea is to smile and hopefully one day all the sadness and evil etc etc will SMILE too and then life will be a bliss

      you are right for SURE .. Alls well that ends well is what i beleive in and I am used to it all.. the starts for me have always been bad for anything I have tried to do..

      Please do keep visiting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. dilipnaidu says:

    Super changi poem. Balle Balle 🙌🙌

    Like

  9. SG says:

    Pardon my broken Punjabi. After reaching Yukkay (UK), did he meet a Punjabi girl and said: Punjab di kudi, mein thonnu peejay marjavaan.

    Like

  10. Double Inverted Commas says:

    This is the funniest thing I have read so far :):):):)

    Like

  11. renu says:

    Lol:)..Happy New year Bikram!

    Like

  12. 😀 😀 😀 ..GREATTTTT…

    Like

  13. Jay says:

    Aunty Bachnis are everywhere! Lol

    Like

  14. That was really funny. Try reciting in a rap wali tone 😛 Id did . these words fit there perfect

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hahah changi paaji:)

    Like

  16. Anita says:

    Great start! Happy New Year Bikram 🙂

    Humorous post! Reminds me of Bigg Boss TV-show- the reservations a Punjabi participant’s mom had because of his proximity with another kudi of a different religion 🙂

    Like

  17. derogatory btw….we desis are the most racists in the world….even our fun is at cost of insulting others caste,color race… etc..,,, How about a disclaimer about not harming any Afro Americans ?

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Sorry it hurt your feelings

      But it is true WE indians are the most racist people no second thoughts about it . not sure what you mean by “DESIS”.. and let me make myself clear this was not a insult to someone it is how things are …
      and yeah I will amend the disclaimer toooo

      Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      Hello – I have now amended the disclaimer. Although I read it again and I had mentioned that this bears no resemblance to anyone dead or alive.. or any person
      🙂

      Like

  18. Lavender says:

    Hehe that was a good one Bikram! All the best to whoever it is 😀

    Like

  19. Bhakti says:

    Hey
    Happy new year 🙂
    And like someone said above,it is a perfect rap song..i read ( sang in my mind) in the rap wali tone 😂😂 loved it a lot!!
    Happy new year again 🙂

    Like

  20. Had a good smile.. Loved reading your post.. Wat a great start for new year

    Like

  21. Shilpa Garg says:

    LOL 😀 That was funny! Hope he gets a Punjabi kudi soon! 😀

    Like

  22. dnambiar11 says:

    😀 😀
    Your disclaimers just shut my mouth. :-/

    A fun read. 🙂

    Like

  23. Lol…My God I was actually reading this in Yo Yo Honey Singh ishtyle…btw I think he would love to sing this composition Bikram…seriously.
    U r a Jack of all trades and master of some I guess 🙂 🙂 🙂 …I enjoyed it really.

    Like

  24. dNambiar says:

    Bikramism? I like that.
    btw, I read that again. It made me smile, again. 🙂

    Like

  25. It’s hard to come by educated people in this particular topic, but you
    sound like you know what you’re talking about!
    Thanks

    Like

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