How to live and Die (1) – Sad post

Posted: May 2, 2014 in Age, Am I wrong, Experiences, Hurt, Memories, My Thoughts., Problems, Soch
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to make any one sad, But please don’t read if you are in a happy mood, as this is going to spoil it 🙂

It is strange how your mind works when things are not going according your way, or life is becoming a turmoil for one reason to another. Nothing seems to be working, And have you realised when that happens, what all we do just to make sure it gets ok. Whatever we believe in goes out of the window for a six, I hardly use to believe in horoscopes or sun signs, rather I use to lecture people as to why do they believe in all this silliness, but saying that in the early part of previous year I spend a lot of money on horoscope readers , I don’t know why I did that, or how I got stuck with one of this website and now it has become so difficult to get rid of them. The emails they send the words they use , it seems so real that they can help you out for sure , only to find out that what has to happen will happen. I ended up buying these stones that are supposed to alter destiny and bladdy blah 🙂 ….

On top of all that we have this habit of trying to keep everyone happy, I am one of those who tries to keep everyone happy, BUT What makes people happy, how can we make others happy when we are unhappy, we as a person need to smile to make others smile, so what do we as an individuals need to do , to make sure we can get happiness and in process maybe make some of the people around us happy.. ALTHOUGH I DOUBT it, that it is ever gonna happen for whatever reason.

I read a lot of books in the previous one year, Done a few bits and pieces here and there , but no matter what I do .. it’s very hard to please everyone and also find that MANTRA for happiness for one-selves or others ..

Last year taught a few things, that things don’t happen as you want them to happen or even as you plan them to take place.

Some of the stuff that I have picked up, in all this chaos is that I feel, the most important thing a person needs is their Health – we need to be on top of that, because if I am sick then I am not going to make many people happy as they might think I am becoming a burden on them, no matter what we say , how close we are , how much they love us , in the end we will become a burden so good health is important. if I am healthy it keeps my mind happy too .. Any small hiccup in health , any small ailment, however trivial, will always put a dampener and take away something from our happiness for sure.

An experience taught me maybe the mantra for my happiness (or so I hope) , which when I think now, I can say with confidence that I “THINK” I am not afraid of death, I am ready for it as and when it comes (the horoscope lady has said I will live for a Long long time 🙂 , which actually made me laugh because in my family the male’s have died quiet young, My great Grand father was only in his 60’s , my grandfather was the only one who lived to be 84, my dad himself was only in his 60’s when he passed away, so if I take the average then I have already lived more than half my life 🙂 )

Anyway I went on a tangent there, as I was saying that I Have made my peace with the ups and down of life but I fear one thing, what I fear the most is that I would not want to have bad health, or be in some sort of bed ridden problem, because then I will be a burden on someone which I surely don’t want to be as being a burden will not make them HAPPY. Although thanks to the way things work here in UK, I have sorted out a few things 🙂 Money can do wonders, I tell you , I have spent wisely I believe in taking insurances and making sure the clause is added in the will that when I die the money is used from my account .. Although saying that I do owe some money which to my horror I got to know , but working rigorously to sort that out soon.. 🙂 (more on that later)

What I ideally want is that when my time comes, when the lord of death knocks on my door, I go like a man without taking any grievances against anyone. I would ideally like to go without regret too but in my case I have a lot of them, and also go thinking that those I have done wrong against forgive me , but that is not in my hands.

When death comes it comes swiftly, maybe without pain I just would want to close my eyes , go to sleep and never wake up.. that would be ideal.

I have made up a list of things that I think a person should have to have a happy life, One I have shared HEALTH.. rest will share later on .. Don’t want to make this post something that will make the readers UNHAPPY .. he he he he 🙂

Right since you have come so far let me lighten the mood .. Here is a THEORY .. I wonder how PRACTICAL it will be .. you see

People who Drink get DRUNK
People who get Drunk, Go to SLEEP
People who go to Sleep, Do no SIN
People who do no Sin, Go to HEAVEN
So. SO. Let us all drink and

GO TO HEAVEN

How about it then.. Cheersssssss … SMILEEEEEEeee and Keep Smiling

PS :- I know some of you are going to ask why am i thinking that way , don’t worry I am not dieing or anything 🙂 just as the blog says me and my random thoughts .. some of them sharing here

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Comments
  1. Rachna says:

    First? YaY!

    Like

  2. Rachna says:

    I do agree that health is very important and must be taken care of. WE may not realize when we are in our 20s or 30s but it is important to stay conscious of good eating habit and exercise to stay healthy in your later years. And no drinking :).

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      99.9% agree with that comment .. other than the last two WORD 🙂 🙂 he he he he … you cant say that to a punjabi , now can you he he he .. a bit here and a bit there is good toooo ..

      Thank you Rachna…

      Like

  3. If you want good health, you should limit your (alcohol) drinking. Too much of it will surely spoil the health – if not now, later on.

    I think it’s an impossible thing to keep everyone around us happy. Heck, it is difficult to keep even one or two imp. people happy!

    Since you have written so much about astrology, I feel that things happen for a reason. Both good and bad. And we are not always in control of what happens to us. So, relax and be cool 🙂

    Destination Infinity

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      DI.. yes trying that for sure .. yeah i agree things happen for a reason good or bad is on us how we interpret it … I think we are never in control although we have this false idea of being in control ..

      and yes very right on keeping everyone happy, but god knows when I will be able to change that in myself , I for once want to do things that make me happy and not bother of anyone else .. wish there was a way to change your heart or mind ..

      Like

  4. bhavanas11bh says:

    “What I ideally want is that when my time comes, when the lord of death knocks on my door, I go like a man without taking any grievances against anyone. I would ideally like to go without regret too but in my case I have a lot of them, and also go thinking that those I have done wrong against forgive me , but that is not in my hands.”–being prepared is the key. Illness will strike whether you are fit or not. Too many fit die of heart attacks or suffer cancer. What to do? We think we can control how we pass. Perhaps the trick is to remain a man in all circumstances, me thinks. Glad to be here after a long time.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      I am prepared 🙂 no doubts about that , as such prepared or unprepared when the day comes , you got to go , no excuses will work 🙂

      Thank you so much , yes good to see you here tooo .. I know its been a long long time …

      Like

  5. Drinking :-/
    Take care Bikram bhai..

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      🙂 well they do say ALcohol is the medicine for lifes all problems he he he he he 🙂 I am just joking .. chillax .. I am ok .. not to worry

      Like

  6. Jas says:

    Health is wealth Bikram 🙂 And why this death thought suddenly?

    Like

  7. surindernath says:

    But then you missed the most important Astrologer.
    On top of that you can’t waste money on him because you don’t have to pay ANY !!
    If you know your date,Time and place of birth send it to me.
    Astrology is a science but it is science in the hands of astrologers not in the hands of quacks.
    My success rate is 70 % to 90 % and I am not ashamed of it but proud of it.
    Even a good qualified doctor/physician, does not have a better success rate !!

    Like

  8. Dear Bikram.

    I agree with you. No bedridden death and no regrets . I see so many people dying every minute with grudges and their cynical views. I need to work on my health though
    . So, here’s wishing good health and a happy weekend to all of us. And, take care.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Thank you so muchhhhhhhhhhh , yes heres wishing everyone has a good health and no one is a burden on anyone … you have a good weekend too and Take care

      Like

  9. manchitra says:

    Bikram, this was slightly different type of post from your usual ones a bit serious and I know like you said it is your random thoughts.

    Leave everything to the Almighty . Be true to yourself. There are certain things which are not in our control. So live life as it comes.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      I know but we cant all keep on smiling and laughing all the time 🙂 although i try to , yes chitra mam god is great and has been kind to me always .. true to myself I try but then I fail sometimes miserably ..

      Like

  10. Saru Singhal says:

    Yes, most important thing is health. And yes, there was a phase when I was reading horoscopes 😛

    Just stick to keeping yourself happy, enjoy simpler things and life is sorted.

    Like

  11. Shilpa Garg says:

    Aah! The life has its little ups and downs and all these downs make us believe in stones and horoscopes which otherwise would have never crossed our thoughts! Oh yes, health is supreme! Take care and stay blessed 🙂

    Like

  12. Praveen says:

    Going against the popular tone – first of all- Cheers Bikram 😀 😀 It is nice to have a good company when one drinks. I think if not indulge in drinking – I do have a jolly presence. 😉
    That is till one asks about death & Life. A question which should not & does not takes much of my mindspace. I have accepted Death as the final companion to have your last drink with. TIll that time – life is long enough to make friends and make merry. 🙂

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      CHEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS .. oh yesssssssssssssss 🙂 🙂 so true , good company and good malt.. goes a LONGgggggggggggggggggg way for sure ….

      yes sir I like that what you say Life is long enough to make new friends and make merry .. oh yes for sure

      Like

  13. I am really glad that you are back to blogging Bikram. Really missed you and your posts for a long time. Really happppyyyy to have you back!
    Coming to the post, I must agree with some points but I don’t agree with your idea of making everyone happy. You can never make everyone happy, no matter what you do. I think you should only think about making yourselves happy. That might sound selfish, but that is how it works. As long as you are happy, people around you will be happy.
    Health is really important. I agree with the part about people thinking you are a burden if you are not healthy. That really happens. People are always scared that you might ask them for some help.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Heyyyyyyy.. good to see you here also now 🙂 yeah we cant make everyone happy , I have learned the hard way and still learning for sure ..

      No its not selfish at all. you are right.

      Like

  14. KP says:

    Though started on a note of melancholy,it ended on a cheerful mood.When someone is aware that health is important the major part of battle is won.Why talk of death?You can neither stop it or put it off.It is not one’s job to make everyone happy though one should not cause unhappiness.
    Glad you have started writing.It acts as a tonic!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Yes KP sir, now the work begins to make sure one remain healthy 🙂 .
      yes it does act as a tonic.. for sure and also having these little conversations with such lovely people around helps a lot for sure tooooooo

      Like

  15. renu says:

    Its not a sad post..rather wise one..we all wish for good health and fear of being bed ridden..But I do my best and leave the rest to god, as nothing is in my hands except what I do..so keep looking after your health and wealh and dont worry:)

    Like

  16. Bhagyashree says:

    It is important to introspect because it helps you be in track. Yes, you cannot please everybody and sometimes to please oneself is difficult enough 🙂
    And no I don’t believe that drinking is good, it is not at all.

    Like

  17. scorpria says:

    This is the most un-depressing death post ever. hahahah!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      🙂 you think so … glad you thought that way else i was getting worried that i come after so long and writing a depressing note will make those who come also disappear..

      and heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

      Like

  18. alka narula says:

    good one Bikram…good to see you back !

    Like

  19. indrani says:

    I have heard alcoholics giving such excuses to drink. Not sure what kind of message is there in this post.
    It takes lot of mental strength to face ups and downs of life. Escapist attitude doesn’t really help.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Yes it takes a lot of mental strength to face ups and downs and not everyone can face them..

      I was trying to say that Health is something which is very important to live and for happiness , so we don’t become a burden on others..

      🙂 , I am not a alcoholic that little joke in the end was just a joke ..

      Like

  20. ladywhispers says:

    Interesting post this is. Last year I was in a similar trail of thought and then things change. I am sure it will change for you soon too 🙂 Till then take care 🙂

    Like

  21. privytrifles says:

    Death the eternal truth of life haunts me also sometimes and so does the thought of whether I have done what I should have done in this life time… do take care Bik… dont know the whys behind this post but yes its the therefores from it what I am worried about.

    TC

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      YEs it is the eternal truth. , the why’s are not important they have happened so cant do anything about them. I will be fine not to worry 🙂

      Like

  22. This post did not make me feel sad. Though it reaffirmed the fact about how being happy is the key. I am someone who is afraid of dying and losing loved ones to death. But even then, I would die the day I stop being happy.
    Great thought provoking post!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Hello and welcome to this blog, thank you for visiting , please do visiting.

      yes being happy is the key and making yourself happy FIRST is the key .. if you are happy then people around might be happy tooo 🙂 and you are right i guess i will die too if i stop being happy ..

      Thank you so much.

      Like

  23. This post was not sad at all. It was honest introspection, which most of us do once in a while.
    “People who Drink get DRUNK,
    People who get Drunk, Go to SLEEP”
    Agreed, agreed, but … what happens between getting drunk and falling asleep?
    (I know you meant this as a joke. This part of my comment is made in the same ‘spirit’! 😉

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      ha ha ha ha I like it , very right what happens in the between is a key too everything … sleeping soundly or tossing and turning 🙂
      Thank you so much ..

      Like

  24. Hey! That’s a very interesting post and things can bog you down when ur in the dumps and you do get influence by the turn of events. What matters is getting up and be back with a bang. Enjoyed reading it.
    Cheerz

    Like

  25. Meera says:

    Well, death is not something that we or any astrologer can decide upon. Death is certain. But what is sad is untimely death

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      yes it is the untimely death and that is a problem too as these days there are so many of them happening … people too young are dieing …

      Like

  26. alkagurha says:

    Pain and sadness are an inescapable part of our lives. And we emerge stronger after any tragic loss. Yes, bad health scares me as I saw my dad fight the dreaded C. Those two years were a nightmare. So cheers to health and happiness!

    Like

  27. divrj says:

    I hope your okay Bikram..!! forget all the negativity…Live life to the fullest… ups and downs are a part and parcel of life…and health is definitely the forts think we should take care..i have been bedridden last year for 6mnths so i know how it feels…but everything should be left behind and life should be enjoyed…make a list of things you always wanted to go and set out to achieve it…!! We have just one life and so many things to do….so say bye to all the negative random thoughts and enjoy life..!!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      I am ok.. Thank you so much.. trying to forget the negativity for sure .. bed ridden Oh my god,, are you ok now .. Take care please .. I will for sure and start striking once i do them for sure ..
      yes you are right we have just one life and that too very very shorttttt …

      Like

  28. GuptaChintan says:

    Sigh.

    I just blogged on similar lines. We all cultivate our fears based on experiences and eventually get caught in our own insecurities. It is a vicious circle.

    Let go of all the negativity and you will remain healthy.

    Also, Punjabi Jatt kadon to eddan diyan gallan karan lag gaye?

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. yes you are so right.. I am trying and trying very hard to do just that ..

      Punjabi jatt taan theek hai but jatt v banda hi hai na 🙂

      Thank you so much chintan….

      Like

  29. heerman says:

    hey bicky
    whats up dude?
    .. reading your post after long ,, in fact your post only.. lol
    ..Dude don’t get into stone ..tarot reading n all its scary n no end,,,
    I will let you know the key .. I have been doin this too..
    .. it will help you..
    try meditating early morning .. 20 mins or so.. to start .. early morning for a reason no noise its quite.. focus on breath inn n out (slowly).. it will d-stress .. do it over n over again .. relax yourself and keep faith in almighty he will handle the problems.. you have no control over the unseen mishap or problems.
    meditation is like total peace in thoughts ..keeping yourself relaxed .. at certain point you will experience a sheer joy .. a complete fulfillment ..where nothing matters ..nothing scares .. n its free of egos. ..
    Do it .. 🙂

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu……
      and you changed the profile , I did not recognise till i saw the pic.
      its been a long long time yes.. and you have not blogged eaither for a long time ..

      I will definitely try that for sure .

      Like

  30. jaishvats says:

    Hi Bikram
    It all depends on how we define happiness. Laughing or smiling always does not indicate that. If you throw a lavish party your guests will have fun, disperse and forget. In fact some would even find fault. Get one square meal for a starving poor child and her happiness would be genuine and it would give you a peaceful happiness tha ts tough to describe. 🙂 yes, health is very important and no dont drink ! Also you cant control how things happen but you can control how you react to it. There are always situations worse than our own we must be thankful for not being in. 🙂

    Like

  31. padmaja says:

    Death is a boon for those elderly that are ailing, it is a curse for those who still are youn and a lot to achieve in life. But it is certainly not the end for the soul!
    Live every moment of your life with a positive attitude, that will you keep you happy and your loved ones happirer :-)))

    Like

  32. Jyothi Nair says:

    Oh Lord! I do not believe in those last few lines. It is better to be sober and sensible! Any excuse to drink or what? 🙂
    It feels good to have you blogging again Bikram. Here’s to good health and happiness. (Toasting with a cup of Tea). 😀

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      🙂 those last lines were to be a joke 🙂 he he he he yes I agree its better to be sober and sensible. BUT you are also right any excuse to drink …..

      THank you so much Jyothi.. and yes here’ssssss to good health and happiness .. with my Coffee cup 🙂 he he he he

      Like

  33. When you have so many friends here, even after not writing for such a long time, you should be very very happy, Bikram! Look at positive things and your will be happy and you seem to be happy even now!

    Health is important and I don’t believe in drinking moderately! You will have control when you are happy and well but once if you think you are unhappy, you will get a ‘reason’ to drink more!

    You are a good person, Bikram! Everything happens with a reason (You have already said this!) The break might have taught you some lessons Take care,

    Keep writing…so many friends are waiting to read!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Oh I am blessed , god has been so kind to me . Yes mam looking at the positives for sure ..

      🙂 i also dont believe in drinking moderately might as well drink a LOT ha ha ha ha ha … ok ok sorry sorry dont kill me now 🙂

      THank you for that confidence in me, I hope I am good truly..

      Like

  34. purbaray says:

    That was not a sad post, it was reflective and I’m sure most of us related to it. We all go through such phases of life, but only a few emerge stronger and wiser.

    Like

  35. Amit Agarwal says:

    Cheer-up bro 🙂 and yes, Cheers!! 😉 🙂

    Like

  36. ambikasingh2 says:

    yes i realized this a few days ago.

    Like

  37. Untimely death is sad, but death cannot be avoided. So might as well work to keep it at bay, with whatever best alternatives we have. Like good health!
    Cheers! 🙂

    Like

  38. the little princess says:

    that’s a cool funda!! 🙂 but u know what, instead of focussing on dying, why not focus on living….? who has seen heaven or hell? wouldn’t it be nice to make life here on earth as good as it might be in heaven?
    i know its very difficult to be happy or think happy thoughts when everyhting seems to be working against you… but my last month was one of self reflection and i realised being happy is so in your hands….so go on cheer up and live every moment to the fullest!

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      THank you 🙂 .. I like that too focussing on Living.. yes mam for sure .. I totally agree with you about who has seen heaven or hell .. and it would be beautiful if heaven is is on earth nad we can enjoy it tooo.

      Very true very true, totally agree it is all in our own hands but to use those hands to make ourself happy is a problem and taking that first step.. 🙂

      thank you so much I will try my best to do just that

      Like

  39. amira says:

    It’s not a sad post. It’s a realistic post.
    And yes, I agree with health. We definitely need to be on top of it.

    Like

  40. kamini says:

    Bikram

    Drinking and health do not match mate 😉

    Cheers

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      YEah i know but then sometimes life brings you to a place where maybe ONE does not want them to Match genuinely.. 🙂 cheers to you tooo , how are you doing .. I am assuming you are the same Kamini that I know from back home .. 🙂

      Like

      • kamini says:

        Yes bikram I m THE Same kamini. ..EK HI HAI…..lol

        Like

        • Bikramjit says:

          yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy .. excellent .. Good to see you and have a contact with you, its been so many yearsssssssssssss 1993.. 1994..

          How are you , I know EK HI HAI.. Jisse main jaanta hoon 🙂 remember the good old days .. wish we get them back.. the best days of our life’s ..

          Keep in touch now

          Like

  41. Hi Bikram Dear,
    The best thing about this place is that it talks about the reality. I agree, health is very important to be taken care of. It relates to us and then many other things as you mentioned in the post.It’s nice to read your experiences. Keep sharing 🙂
    BTW, the last logic you gave is cool 😀

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      Thank you so much simran.. health is very important as I dont want ot be a burden on anyone.

      and yesssssssssssssssssssss it is cool and it helps toooooooooooooo 🙂 if only for a short time he he he he ..

      BUT drinking is bad so i advice everyone NOT TO DRINK..

      Like

  42. Rekha says:

    Whatever has to happen will happen. Isn’t this what you yourself have written. So why worry about something that will anyway happen? I prefer to rejoice in today, this hour, this particular moment. Why bother about something that cannot be controlled by me. My policy is ‘mast raho’ but yes occasionally I too have these gloomy and not-so-optimistic days.

    Like

    • B. M. says:

      I know what you say, but human heart is such that we still try to find a way in which we could change or at least get what we want 🙂 especially when things are not working according to your .. I absolutely love the idea rejoice today as who has seen tomorrow ..

      yes MAST RAHO wil ltry doing that for sure .. Thank you so much 🙂

      Like

  43. Hello Sir.
    There’s an old cliché “Health is Wealth”…it couldn’t be so true. When one is not well, they feel sad within themselves and others around them feel sad too.
    I would rather live a short and happy life then to live a long life marred by sickness and ill health.
    When Death comes my way, I just hope I have accumulated enough good deeds to look my Master straight in the eye. Don’t feel like doing a second stint on this Earth.

    Like

    • Bikramjit says:

      SIr.. ME . naaaaaaaa .. 🙂

      totally agree with your view , I wud wish the same for me toooo 🙂 .. I wud not want another stint tooo .. I think i have had enough in this time ..

      Like

  44. as the saying goes .. “excess of anything is not good” ..
    one should know where to draw the line i would say …
    Cheers to that veer ji 😛

    Like

  45. […] from part one How to live and Die (1) – Sad post on what I think are some of the points that one needs to keep in mind to have a good Life and Die a […]

    Like

  46. Bikram, I dropped onto this post from your recent post, the sequel of this one I suppose. It didn’t make me sad… may be I needed higher dose 😛 All it did, it reminded me of “Meri sirf ek hi khawaish hai … jab maut mere samne aaye tab main darra hua na lagon … bas mera haath meri mooch ko taav de raha ho aur mere chehre par ek muskurahat ho” – now guess the movie :-))

    Like

  47. Anita says:

    The last lines in bold are fun to read 🙂
    But, not applicable to people like me who don’t drink, Bikram!
    Just sing a lullaby & go to sleep & go to heaven, anyway 🙂
    Cheers!

    Like

  48. […] from part one How to live and Die (1) – Sad post and part Two How to live and Die (2 and 3)- My Views on what I think are some of the points that […]

    Like

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