Posted: January 7, 2013 in Bikramism, Blogging, Experiences, Feeling Funny, Humour, My Thoughts.
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Right Continuing from my  previous post about airports and let’s go ahead and discuss some experiences , as such its the new year and many of you would have travelled to go out and about..

After the heartbreak of Not finding Gate No. 1 and then trudging along the corridors to reach the gate where We will be boarding the plane , Another things greets us ..

Which is AGAIN A big QUE..

I have a question here.. We checked in the people on the desk checked our Passport , Gave us the boarding pass .. We walk towards the departure lounge, as we enter there is someone always on the desk who will check our Boarding pass and/or the passport ..  so this is the Second time it has been checked..

Get to the Security to find another Que of people waiting to pass through the metal detectors, half undressing , Taking shoes off, jackets off, belts off.. I mean wont it be better if they have a room that you need to pass through, naked.. it will clear all doubts of everyone.  Most of the time they already have us half Undressed ..

I have always had incidents at that point, especially when I am boarding from India, You stand in a que, Take your shoes off, belt off , jackets off, anything in the pockets go to the tray , Pass through the detector and it HAS TO BEEP.. I have never managed to go through it ever when it has not beeped.  a Point to remember here is there is only one way inside , SO you have to go through this detector ALWAYS..

So you go through Beep beep beep the red sirens start to work, The handsome young Officer on the other side is waiting with his , hand held metal detector , which he moves all over your body again.. I mean what is the difference of doing that again.. The metal detectors has already gone off, why do they need to do it again.. Anyway then you are hand frisked, Nothing is found on you .. thank god for that .. What happens next this officer Stamps your boarding pass, he checks it again .. (THIRD TIME)..

He does not tell you that he has to stamp it, you are supposed to know that , the labels on your hand luggage also need to be stamped.. if you pick your stuff early .. its your fault.. NOW hold on a Minute How is it that Stamping that label makes it all safe..  The reason I am mentioning this is because, maybe I was too eager to get into the plane , I picked my hand bag too early, The officer did not  have the courtesy to let me know that it is important, so like an Idiot I walked up to the Gate, ANOTHER security officer there informs me , I have to go all the way back to get it stamped.. What a waste of time.. I have been through security and all, Anyhow go through the Same DRILL again . so it is stamped all the while the officer standing there has this Stupid Smirk on his face..

They are supposed to be helping the people,  Yes they are their for Security too BUT I am sure they need to be a bit more friendly too, Dont you think.. If I did something like this here I will be pulled up.

The point I wanted to make is How does it make it MORE SECURE.. that stamp on the label ..

Anyhow you reach the Gate which is another Big DRAMA.. your flight is announced the people at the Gate are speaking loudly for everyone to hear , where they tell the Seat numbers they want first to board.. does anyone bother Nooooooooooooooo… you know why Because of that Overhead locker space .. everyone wants to Rush so they can put their stuff and Take over the lockers of others too.. I have already mentioned that .. BUT before you do that what happens .. Can you guess ..  come on

The security at the Gate ALSO checks your passport and Boarding pass.. (Fourth Time) .. you walk to the gate of the Aeroplane , the charming ladies welcoming you,  also want to have a look at the boarding pass that is the FIFTH time .. so you see till you are sitting on that seat documents are rechecked and Checked all the time .. 🙂 they don’t trust us Do they ..

So Thankfully by now we take our seats , getting ready for the flight everyone is settling down ..  GUESS WHAT HAPPENS .. the captain or the pilot comes on the Tannoy and says the same thing …

” We are running a bit late, and WE are having to make up some time ” . WEEEEEEEEEE I think…

How can it be WE.. WHATTTTTTTT the HELL .. HOW CAN IT be WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, How can they make it as if its our fault .. I WAS HERE THREE HOUSE AGO CAPTAIN.. Dont involve me in your office politics or whatever it is .. it is not WE its YOU.

Also on second thoughts what do they mean they are going to make up time, what is that make up some time .. does that mean they will go faster .. so right, they are going to do us a favour .Normally they go slow but today they will go a bit faster .. WELLL IF YOU HAVE THE FACILITY TO GO FASTER, THEN USE IT ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEE

I forgot at the check-in, the staff asks you a typical STUPID question , and they probably ask everyone ..  HAS ANYONE Put anything in your bag , without You knowing it..


How do you answer that question.. How do I know if someone has put anything in my bag without me knowing about it :), but Still we all reply it in one word “NO”…

And then you reach the destination, you have booked this posh hotel for your stay, you are on a holiday.. to reach here you have packed your bags , you put them in the CAR , you reach the airport and you take your bags off, you take them to check-in, you put your hand luggage in the trolley and are taking it all the way , picking it up and putting it down , you reach the destination and you do the same drill and come out of the airport ..

you put the luggage in the car and reach your hotel .. and THERE IS THIS MR. HELP standing who will Roll your luggage 20 feet or maybe 50 feet asking us “I carry your bags for you SIR”..

WHAT THE HELL.. I carried my bags half the way around the world and he wants to carry it 10 feet for a TIP..

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU EARLIER…... I can bloody well handle my luggage to my room ..


and guess what you are the worst guest that hotel ever got 🙂 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. janu says:

    Should I be thankful that I have never traveled out of India.
    Well, the recent experience, bad experience was at Goa Airport.
    It is primitive…though it is one of the busiest.


    • Well You could but then this is on domestic flights also, this stamping of hand luggage and your boarding pass , so you probably go through the same .. here its simple you checking and go through security all done , no stamping etc..


  2. Punam J R says:

    I am pretty sure this masterpiece has come out during one of the long waits at the airport, doing nothing else? WHY so much hatred? I would tip the poor guy aven hi. Why not?


    • no its not hatred or anything , i love flying for 90% of the times when i am flying i am coming to india 🙂 ..

      its not about tipping the guy but if i can carry my luggage all over the world why tip him for 2 metres I can do that myself


  3. privytrifles says:


    He he. I have never travelled international so I might not be able to comment on this. But the worst experience I had was at Delhi airport. Cannot describe that experience even in words I guess 😛


  4. When I travel inside India and take up a room in a hotel, I give a tip to the Mr. Help (It’s a very small amount here, like 10, 20rs). But immediately after that I ask and get some info on where to eat, where to go, etc. The advise I receive is generally good 🙂

    Destination Infinity


  5. jahidakhtar says:

    Lovely the post and Thank U the very much 🙂


  6. Vaish says:

    Ha..I hate those security checks…It just drives me crazy. If it’s indian married beeps red all the time due to the mangalsutra. And the lady security officer comes in to put hand around you!


  7. Jas says:

    oh! crazy…. I haven’t really traveled abroad so can’t say but within India it is all the more fine…


  8. dilipnaidu says:

    Good one Bikram! Its all so familiar.
    Cheers 🙂


  9. I display my mangalsutra outside! Checking is there at the London or California airport everywhere. Some people look at us like dirt! My brother in law was detained for quite a long time and then they found out that he had a zip in his underpants or something!

    I always feel sorry for the boys and ask my husband to pay them nicely! I always think that they don’t get good salaries! My husband would nod his head disgustingly and pay reluctantly! Otherwise he pays very less money!


    • but this was in india , here I have never had any problem ever m yes I was visiting USA where I was hasselled..

      I don’t mind tipping if they work , but just moving the luggage that i have moved half the way around the world myself 🙂 he he he


  10. what I hated the most was that people had to remove their shoes also at HK airport … all in the name of security .


  11. Swaram says:

    Oh worst guest, I so feel for u 😛 And ofcourse for that fella who missed the tip too 😉


  12. odyzz says:

    Exactly true… I could really associate with you… 🙂


  13. anisnest says:

    lol.. yeah those security checks always beep beep beep for me ‘coz of those marital possessions 🙂 Adi is even more scared to walk alone across the detector as I always used to hold her hand during transit.. she always used to turn and look back at me 100 times before crossing it with a confused look like “why is amma leaving me alone and standing behind now?”..


  14. Guria says:

    That was a fun read 🙂


  15. sounds so much familiar..
    In Aus, they ask you to open the baggage if they have doubt!!!
    1- you are already tired after 20 hours long journey
    2-you are already sad because you left your family behind
    3-You just feel like going home & sleeping on your bed to make you waist straight which has curved because of sitting in plane!!

    & here these people will ask you to open the bag which is full of stuff & badi mushkil se closed in India!!

    arey after all security checks.. they do drugs test as well!!!
    recently on Gold coast trip they checked my sandals for drugs test.. tell me about it :-/


    • oh yes i remember , they made me open everything too, but they do it to everyone it seems … and I ahd more than 20 hours I was coming from UK..

      I got saved from the check at gold coast as we drove from Sydney to gold coast 🙂


  16. MomWithaDot says:

    OMG!! This brings back horrifying memories of a couple of incidents that happened with us. Shan’t go there now; but yes – airports can be really taxing – in more ways than one!


  17. And then, we also get to hear of how the kinds of a young boy travelled from Rome to UK dring the olympics ….. so much for security checks and so on!


  18. greenboochi says:

    OMG that was so hilarious Bikram 😀 😀 😀 I am still laughing, not minding all those staring eyes around me 😆 I think only you can handle such a serious topic with so much fun added 😀

    The entire post was superb.. but the best one for me was the security asking – if something has been put into your bad with you knowing! Hahahaha 😀 😀


  19. Bhagyashree says:

    😀 I keep my Passport and Boarding pass in hand, why bother to keep it inside na. But I enjoy airports, I mean even though have to wait for 3 hors but get to learn so much…


  20. chipmunk says:

    I can feel the heat 😀 lol 😀 stories at airport are really annoying 🙂 Haven’t experience it yet but heard a lot 🙂


  21. Latha says:

    Have gone through the whole ordeal except the “Did someone put anything in your bag?” I don’t remember this part….


  22. Puja says:

    I hate airports.. and flights… I would rather spend 24 hours in a stuffy train compartment!!!


  23. R's Mom says:

    hahahaha! you are hilarious Bikram 🙂 But I can so understand the frustration with multiple checks!


  24. awesome post .. worst guest veerji 😛

    i remember those incidents when people rush in try to get those initial seats for overhead lockers .. people, they just go crazy .. fighting like small kids !

    i never understood why they do these multiple checks .. i remember when i was in Dubai they asked me to remove my t-shirt before entering the main hall .. although embarrassing but there was no other option for me 😦


    • yeah it seems that way 🙂

      yeah you the know the first ever domestic flight i took was from delhi to bhubhneshwar a few years back and I had a BLACK EYE.. because I was walking at my pace to wards the plane , when the second bus stopped and people came out of it as if the plane will leave them , pushed me and I fell and my face hit the railing ..

      now i try never to take domestic flight..

      they will soon be aasking us to be naked ..


  25. obsessivemom says:

    Seems like you had it bad on a recnt trip. Never you mind .. just tip the boy. 🙂


  26. Rahul says:

    Miseries of flying and small price to pay for the travel world wide:)


  27. sm says:

    beautiful narration


  28. Visha says:

    Even I am so irritated by the multiple checking of the boarding pass and ID proof.

    I love the way you have written this post 😀


  29. Preeks says:

    Airports make for the most entertaining stories! 😀
    Especially if its on your blog! 🙂
    Also, happy new year! I know I am late, but still..


  30. Bk chowla says:

    Let us,please compliment the authorities in India for being so serious about OUR security.We have no idea as to what of threat perceptions are fed to the agencies by IB and R&AW.Such information could be very explosive,but,still they endure our safety.
    I do travel reasonably enough and do face similar irritants.
    It for us ,our safety..Please


    • Yes I cna understand that sir, but once you have get security checked , it shud be ok,
      But yes I do admire the security agencies for keeping us safe always .. and hats off to them ..

      yet there are some officers who I think are arrogant and have a chip on their shoulder which should not be .. as i see it , its a public service for the public so we should be respectful to the public at least


  31. jaishvats says:

    Ha ha, I can totally relate to that stamping on the luggage part ha ha and ‘WELLL IF YOU HAVE THE FACILITY TO GO FASTER, THEN USE IT ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEE’ Loved that line ha ha


  32. Shilpa Garg says:

    This made for an interesting read!! Try Srinagar airport and it is no less as the security check starts a kilometer BEFORE the airport. Before you check-in your luggage at the airport, you are supposed to get the luggage scanned which is in your car (unload it, get it scanned and put it back in the car again) and then the rigorous checking starts at the airport! It is a PAIN!!


  33. hehehe.. recently we made a trip where we flew for half an hour and security checks took 3 hrs.. painful isnt it 🙂


  34. Saritha says:

    Inspite of all these check drugs find there way into the plane….. But its better to spent 3 hours for the security check right. It is annoying but there is no escape…

    Even i don’t give them tip..i feel we are the ones who spoil them,they are paid for there work right. So me too a worst guest.


    • oh yes , I wish i can write .
      the bad people are very clever and they always manage to find ways to do what shud not be done ..

      Good .. yes they get a salary for doing the job .. and welcome to my world of being the worst guest he he he he


  35. renu says:

    best line is about tip:)


  36. R. Ramesh says:

    yes like preeks says, Airports make for the most entertaining stories..nice to c ya bubbling with energy as usual bik…am sure u will achieve more and more in the new year


  37. Sparkly Angel says:

    I’ve never traveled by flights, so donno how the security checks will be. But, super enjoyed reading your post, Hahahaha! 😀
    Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂


  38. This checking thing is so lame as if they don’t trust the people who work with them or they have serious miscommunication within their department. I always run first, I’m short and if the seats are occupied I have loads of problem in putting my things in overhead cabin.

    Come to JFK, there will be 2 hour waiting for immigration…:(


  39. Chitra says:

    Hi Bikram..I never face these problems because I travel by train or by car or no jhunjhut for me. :))


  40. Ashwini C N says:

    I’m sure that the stamping and stuff is done just for namesake, just to show that they are doing their work. Half the time they dont even check the bags properly. Sometimes its irritating.


  41. Jazz says:

    Lol, that was a fun read. And that stupid question is really stupid. 😀


  42. Diana Pinto says:

    I understand. It can be quite tedious at times. I guess this is part and parcel of travelling 🙂


  43. pixie says:

    sigh!! I understand!! Airports!! gah!


  44. magiceye says:

    ‘service’ industry!


  45. jennyshetty says:

    Oh my god, I was laughing out aloud on that line’has anyone put anything in your bag!’ How hilarious is that, and actually how dumb too!
    And yes, they act as though they are doing some ehsaan on us by taking us to our destination by checking the passport for like n number of times!! and really noone helps you. And that luggage stamping stuff, happened to me too! It irksssss me soo much! They are to help, not make hell for us.

    You know, one more thing I have observed about the hotels. If I travel by car, they would unneccasarily guide us out of the parking lot, even if the parking lot is EMPTY! You know just for the tip. Yes everybody should earn some moeny, but fairly please!


    • 🙂 were you excellent .. Thank you so much 🙂

      it happeend to you too,, phewwwww i thought i was the only one.. and that pheww is not a happy one he he he 🙂

      oh yes i know that one too just for a tip they will do various things


  46. Bindu says:

    These are most stupid and boring parts of the journey. Each time we travel they check for different kinds of things. First time when I traveled abroad they took away my humble makeup kit (I’d no idea tweezers and nail-cutters were so lethal). Another time they grabbed two rolls of paper-tape from our handcarry, timely averting a possible hijack attempt!


    • yeah and so much time waste too, I had to go to paris a 45 minutes flight but in total it was like 4 hours maybe more 🙂 DID they well they were very Secure then averting it he he he 🙂 but still so much passes through which is dangerous


  47. stranger says:

    lol…all these security checks and we still have people sneaking inside the so called security zones and doing what they want…

    It is the poor common man who has to suffer all this hungama …


  48. Jacqueline says:

    Nice one…well said with a bit of humour…..yes ive experienced all that uve mentioned….horrifying especelly when your tired with a little kid in your arms


  49. brought a smile as usual! king of sarcastic humour, aren’t thou?

    by the way did u remember to read the board which gives u a list of VIP’s who “do not” need to be checked!

    ironical, eh?


  50. Sapna says:

    Travelling is always an experience you won’t forget for a long time!


  51. ramananth says:

    It was fun going through the drama in the Airport with you. We have all been through this, but still it was fun to be told about this drama.


  52. chattywren says:

    Airports are pretty crazy places! I wonder what people answer to “Has anyone put anything in your bag, without you knowing it?” Must stump them big time. I am v. careful during these security checks. Once a 10-yr old boy was making off with my husband’s gsm. And have always been made to drink milk from the kids’ bottles, things that one has to do:-)


  53. radha says:

    We are so used to these security checks in India. Even at the smallest supermarkets. At Heathrow when you wait for them to stamp your luggage tags after security check they look at you rather condescendingly and say ‘ that is done only in India and Dubai’


  54. dnambiar11 says:

    Seriously, somebody asked you if anybody and come and put something in your luggage without you’re knowing it? Gosh, that’s one of the most ridiculous questions ever… like we’d let people do it if we saw it. 🙂
    We’re so used to all these security checks at the airport that I was quite uneasy when it didn’t happen at the railway station when we were travelling to Denver by train (remember the scenic route I wrote about — that time). I honestly couldn’t believe it, because everything else about it was quite like air travel.


  55. Novroz says:

    Sorry to hear about all that trouble in the airport. I never been outside Indonesia and the domestic is not that troublesome.


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