Alphabets:- Thoughts

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Bikramism, funnies, Humour, Laugh it off, Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

After the previous couple of posts I thought I should change the scenario a bit , but for the life of me I have been unable to think of something remotely interesting.  I was a bit on the senty side too thinking of the childhood days and days back home 🙂 Yeah i know you going to say here we go again 🙂

When I remembered the first book that majority of us read the one where they teach us alphabets, The A and B and C’s .. how they have all these examples for each alphabet and they are all so simple , examples

A for apple B for Ball C for Cat and so on .. TILL you reach “X” .. and X is for  Xylophone ..

Now this caught my attention imagine the first exotic word you get to learn.. Xylophoneeeeeeeeeee 🙂  .. its my favourite

I mean the first think you learn as you are growing up, the most important word you will learn as you are growing up XYLOPHONE..

You are two or three years old learning this .. one of the most important 26 things you will learn Xylophone ..

When you grow up, probably there is a big BIG percentage that you will never be a xylophone player in your life, you will probably never meet a xylophone player in your life. I have never seen one or anyone playing it ever so far .. But here it is X for Xylophone

The only word invented for me to say when I reach X

Then I grew up and became mature (so I think), I am an adult and we are dealing with all these posh words the Alpha’s  Bravo’s  Charlie’s. Foxtrot, . Oscar and the ever so Exotic Zulu’s ..

Now these words are not taught to us , unless off-course we are in the police force or some other force that needs such words to tell the spellings ..

Now I can understand the reason behind using this Phonics as they are called, Because sometimes it gets difficult to pronounce names or words in the way they are supposed to be , because of different dialect and all ..

Believe me,  here in uk with euro opening up, the number of polish or Latvian names that I come across, Which I can’t pronounce at all.

I use to get angry at British not being able it say BIKRAM.. good I did not say its BikramJIT 🙂 ..

Bikram became  bikraaaaaaaam.. or bik or B and what not .. but blimey its like climbing the mountain .. giving a name to control to get some info..
I am on the phone trying to give my address to some insurance guy . .post code is P20 — ..

He says what.. B for ..

No I say P.. P for  and ohhhhhh at that precise moment my mind goes blank what .. what ..

What is it P for .. hmmm  Psychology ..

Oh .. S . 20  the guy says .. and I don’t know which was to look 🙂

Sometimes we also invent new words , which is Funny like if it is B i have usually said B for . BIKRAM 🙂 the guy on the other side is now thinking what the hell did I just say ..or i invent a new word B for Bougart..

or if its N20 – the guy says is that M for money .. NO  You Pillock its N for Nougartttt ..

Another funny part is, Well That I have experienced is that usually when we are trying to remember some meaningful word for the alphabet , there is all that FILTH that comes to your mind..

I am sure many will agree to it , although you may deny it 🙂  go on  try it .. you forget the words .. do try it , I was asked something and I had to say S something .. the girl asked me is it F for foxtrot

No its S for Sex .. (I said a few more words .. But did not want to put on this blog,  I am sure all your minds are probably Getting the RIGHT words ..So ahmm ahmm ).. stop ..

She got upset and shouted  Supervisor..

I said YEAH l That’s the one – S for supervisor 🙂

I am mischievous too sometimes  and can be funny too if they ask G for ..

I say Gnome

Try it sometime everyone 🙂

Have a Great day people .. and keep smiling .. for smile and the world smiles with you 🙂

  1. greenboochi says:

    It really was funny Bikraaaaaaaaaaaam 🙂 🙂 🙂 Especially the one with Gnome!


  2. greenboochi says:

    Me first!!!!! Yay!!!! 😀


  3. ashreyamom says:

    he he he.. yes when i really have to spell my name or something, i generally use the continent or city names to explain.. :)..


    • 🙂 I know and its such a big problem when at work, I feel offended is they don’t take my name properly so Consciously I have to make sure that I don’t offend anyone else .. and some of the European names are really tricky..


  4. What is xylophone? As the above commenter says, its safer to expand on alphabets using names of locations. Reading your post, I am reminded of HARI SADU. Are you aware of this ad? H for Hitler, A for Arrogant, R for Rascal and I for Idiot!! LOL.

    Destination Infinity


  5. privytrifles says:

    I use name of cities / countries/ oceans/ continents for ease…but what you do is simply hilarious Bikram..need to get ideas from you and use these tricks the next time I am explaining something to someone on phone!



  6. Jas says:

    ask me the power of phonics because that is what my son is learning these days.. and he keeps telling me… mamma if ‘I’ says ‘ee’ then how do we say ‘Icecream.’ it should be ‘eececream’. Imagine my horror.


  7. Bhagyashree says:

    And I have abig grin pasted on my face 😀


  8. Bhavia says:

    As my name is not very common,people write in all weird ways at times.Once a doctor changed my name to Kavya :-0


  9. Shilpa Garg says:

    I had a Xylophone as a kid! 😀
    What you have shared for alphabets is absolutely hilarious 😀 P for Psychology … and G for Gnome is the bestest!! What tough time the receivers would have at their end! You can also try E for Euphrates, C for Czar, P for pneumonia (oh, you already have P)… 😀


  10. Always Happy says:

    :-)…the post certainly brought a smile on my face Mr B for Bikram! …hang on, let me get that right ….is it Bikraaaam! [Bravo, Ink, Kilo, Romeo, Aplha, Mother]

    I have done that too….the alphabet I was trying to get across was P and the lady at the other end of phone kept saying right B,right D…..and I kept saying sorry its P, P P as in P for Pig! Another time, I was saying T and the gentleman thought it was D and I said T as in T for T,(the drinking tea I was referring to though I did not mention that!).

    Always(Alpha,Lima, Whiskey,Alpha,Yankee,Sierra) Happy(Hotel, Alpha, Papa, Papa, Yankee)


    • AH :- yes now its right Bikraaaaaaaaaaam .. you there is a lot of alpha alpha alpha in that one 🙂 he he he he

      he he you had a good experience then
      and your Phonics are perfect for sure .. 🙂 on the spot lady well done he he he he


  11. Sunny says:

    Looks like you have too much fun. Too bad I remember the NATO phonemics by heart. Usually, I know it better than the customer rep. Most times when I rattle out – Sierra-Uniform-November-India-Lima…the guys on the other side says, “Eh? What? Sorry? Can you repeat that please?” But most difficult part is when I am telling my nickname in person, and I have to say “Sunny…like the weather in England?”


    • Ha ha ha ha I like that .. indeed Sunny like the weather in England.. But hey for a change it is very sunny today 🙂

      believe me I use it day in and day out and stil it is funny , I mostly get confused with M officially it is MIKE but i keep saying MOTHER .. and you can hear the controller give a little chuckle because he knows when i get back.. everyone will take the Mick out of me 🙂 again


  12. Ashwini says:

    Reading this post I remember turning my name to Ashley in most of the coffee shops in US as it would be easy for the guy in the counter to mark the glass to be filled with Starbucks frappe and easy for the lady to shout my name when the hot drink is ready to be served. This post was hilarious.


    • hmmmmmmm oh ho I guess changing the name made it easier but its funny , if you pronounce the english name wrong they are offended but they do it all the time ..

      I remember someone asked me .. whats your name I said Bikram .. he asked any nick name .. I said yes its Bikram .. he got the hint and shut up …


  13. Puja says:

    I always taught “X for X-MAS TREE” to Diya, until one day she came and told me that it is not X-MAS tree but CHRISTMAS TREE!! And , X is for XYLOPHONE!! It just became so exotic!!


  14. rama ananth says:

    Xylophone sounds so good to say, and also it sounds very exotic. Yes we were all taught the same words when we were children. How many times we were told stories about the little Red Engine, and how many times we must have told people who asked us ‘ What do you want to become when you are big?’, Engine driver pat we would reply.
    Thanks for taking us down the memory lane, it was fun.


  15. Visha says:

    I have never seen a xylophone till date…so right you are…the first exotic word in our dictionary…

    G for Gnome 😆

    English is a funny language to speak and read…and phonetics is a major contributor, b-u-t and p-u-t…how confusing 😀

    I have the habit of giving out cities/ countries for the alphabets 🙂


  16. jaishvats says:

    Well, never had to do this in India. But when I went to the US, every other person would ask me to spell my name and I would go ‘J as in Jam, A as in America and then Y as in You’ . And then there would be a silence at the other end …’Y and U would be probably floating in his head ha ha’ And yeah, xylophone!! Now they say X for Xray too!


    • Jaish.. it would be so difficult to do it in our languages he he he Imagine the matra’s and this and that .. but it would be hilarious though ..
      Y for you 🙂 he he he or is it U 🙂 now that made me smile and laugh toooo


  17. My Era says:

    Very honestly I learnt X for X-mas as a kid and xylophone joined my vocabulary way later.
    You are one cruel soul Bikram for saying P for Psychology to a soul who might be actually struggling with English in first place and to add to misery make it G for Gnome 😛


  18. inducares says:

    All this comes from speaking a language which is not phonetic–Hindi Sanskrit could give them lessons!


  19. Fatima says:

    lolz.. I sometimes don’t believe you but then I do end up after all have been reading you since quite a time 😛 😀


  20. Punam J R says:

    That was one fun read, Bikraaaaaaaam..!! Am I right? Why can’t you just tell them, Bond style, I am Mann, Bikram Mann (NOW that is a hangover of the Skyfall review I wrote at office today)… I am pretty sure Mann is pronounceable.
    Good one.. by the way, FYI, the troll is BACK.. I have just emailed you.


  21. Swarnali says:

    Haha…that was hilarious…I usually try to think of city names or animal names when I try to spell out something, people get the words better that way. But I do agree that whenever anybody asks me to spell out words using associations…I go blank for a few seconds before saying anything 😛


  22. MomWithaDot says:

    I learnt X for X-mas too. No one says X-mas anymore, I guess? Xylophone had a good innings but I am ever so glad to see X-ray replace it. Here’s the deal – Who says EXailophone? Right, no one. Its zylophone. So how does one explain to a kid, ” X says Zeh” :S ! A says aa, B says ba, X says ex. X-ray is spot on!


    • Yeah because I dont know how christmas can be X-mas. he he he Xray is easy I guess to understand 🙂 but imagine a child having to learn Xylophone 🙂 compared to a bat or a cat or apple 🙂

      he he he and yes how does one explain that X is Zeh or C can C or a K ..


  23. Comfy says:

    X for Xylophone 😮 Really?
    I am glad I learned X for X-ray. At that age I think that is all I could have remembered. Phew! bach gaye!


  24. Lol! I liked the S and the G parts 🙂

    U’d do anything to make your readers smile, eh?

    Cheers bruv


  25. Latha says:

    Xylophone was my first big word too 🙂 I have couple of nostalgic word moments too. I think I must be 7 or 8. My family put me in an english medium convent. Somehow, the alphabets book didn’t have regular c for cat. It had C for city. I used to read it as kity..b cos it was c for cat…:P LOL..M for mango. I read it as man, go. 🙂
    I liked the Gnome..want to try it next time…heheh


  26. Androgoth says:

    I think ‘P’ for Pilerk was more fitting choice
    for that idiot on the phone but I know what
    you mean, it is often like deciphering code
    just to relate to someonem on the other end
    and unfortunately, like your operator the old
    brain cells were extremely lacking 😦 lmao

    I like the ‘F’ for Foxtrot and the ‘S’ for Sex bit
    and your witty reply after her threatening to call
    her Supervisor, that is brilliant 🙂 Nice one, as
    those peeps get right on my wick sometimes 😦



  27. Androgoth says:

    Sorry for the dreaded typos Bikram 😦



  28. manju says:

    Ha ha! Thanks for the early morning laugh! 😀

    What an imagination you have, Bikram! Very interesting post.

    BTW, we rarely have this problem of things sounding different from the way they’re written [like gnome, etc] in Indian languages. In most Indian languages, what you see is how it’s pronounced….


    • You are always welcome mam…
      its not just imagination its a lot of things , watching tv helps too 🙂 he he he he

      yeah i know, but imagine if we have to explain the alphabets to someone on fone in hindi and spell out a name 🙂


  29. Novroz says:

    this is a very random post Bik … I like it but a bit confused to which one to comment 😉

    I guess the pronouncing of name is the most interesting one I also come from non English speaking country. I think I can pronounce your name correctly 😉


  30. LOL..Must you make everything funny? hahah I am not complaining. Just aww..And lol on S for supervisor…She must have been so pissed. 🙂


  31. LOL love Gnome and Psychology examples 🙂


  32. By the way, we were taught X for X-mas tree.


  33. I had a tough time teaching my younger son phonics. And, English is a non-phonetic language, so beta kabhi g is ga, kabhi g is ja, phew!! And, when I was in the US, it was a huge pain spelling my name alphabet by alphabet. So I had to say, r as in rat, a as in australia… And most of them would call me raykna :(. Hindi is so much better na. Chalo a nice fun post. Good to see that. And btw you forgot something. Do you know what? :).


  34. that was a super fun post to read!! my name gets misprounounced a lot, so i stick with the ‘princess’ thing!

    without crossing the seas, u can find the funnier versions down south too….and with the heavy accents u bet it can be hilarious!! As my friend Vasu would say, I have finished my Yem Bee Yae and am going to Dubai to stay with my ungle and aandy ‘simbly’ to yearn meney…


    • Welcome ot this blog and thank you for visiting … do keep visiting 🙂

      Thank you so much for reading it , and princess is a good name tooo and seldom can it be pronounced wrong 🙂

      Yeah I had a maths teacher Mr. Britoo in school and it use to be so funny when he would teach yeX + yeY and so on .. but saying that he was such a good human being …


  35. Ritika says:

    I am so going to do that !! 😀


  36. renu says:

    even iin chennai, I find it difficult to order anything on phone, its a herculean task..


  37. metherebel says:

    P for Psychology??? 🙂 Loved it Biks.

    Xylophone came only in my alphabets book, never heard/seen of it later on.


  38. Ashwathy says:

    Phonics? Or did u mean phonetics?? 🙂

    P for Psychology??? U got nothing else to say with ‘P’ ? 🙄 God!!

    Hahah I face the same trouble in all my life while getting people to understand my name right (except in Kerala coz that’s the origin of my name and it’s common there). Ms Ashwathy becomes MR AWASTHI !! And I m like, 😐 Not only did they change my name but also my gender in the process!! 😛 😛

    To a lot of ppl I spell my name as Ashwati …for some reason ppl find it easier to grasp my name pronounciation from this spelling. Go figure!

    Ya ya S for supervisor bhi chalega…. ROFL!!! 😆


    • hmmmm See the idea is for people to understand.. phonic or phonetics , You undersood na .. JOB DONE 🙂 he he he he he

      well I got a Phylosophy tooo for P 🙂 and Phoenix toooo 🙂 he he he he

      Now now that would be weird if they are expecting a Mr. Awasthi to come and in walks Ms. Ashwathy.. 🙂

      hey i wanted to tell you i found anothr blogger with the same name as yours, at first i thouhgt it was you and I replied to her comment as I would to you.. but then i found it was someone else 🙂 glad i did not say anything silly , she might have taken offense and not understood that its a joke 🙂

      ab supervisor challana pada 🙂 he he he


  39. TTT says:

    LOL ! that was a nice post ….It made me smile …but believe me when I teach my son phonetics or my daughter alphabets its far from funny ! I feel miserable !!!


  40. ambikasingh2 says:

    Tell me about it…taking dictations for my nephews is like marching across the Gobi desert and that too with no shoes!!!!!

    They no longer teach ABCs, they teach phonetics. for them, Go is Go, and Do is also Do’h’. The consonants are killers. It is not a simple Bee anymore, it has to be, “beeee” = bee!

    Because of this, they find it tough to differentiate between K and C because they sound exactly the same.

    Just a few days ago, they had to write 5 rhyming words for “star”….. the only rhyming word that I could think of was “BAR” 😀 … LOL… in fact, my lil nephew came up with that word…. because he will one day be using it… you know boys will be boys syndrome 😛


    • 🙂 ooh that would really hurt I tell you, in the middle of the afternoon when sun is at its harshest 🙂

      now i am confused tooo about beee = bee 🙂

      Kut = CUT 🙂 ha ha ha ha

      Now that made me laugh BAR 🙂 oh yeah now that is my kind of word for sure he he he he 🙂 yes mam I know the boys syndrome I am Living it he he he


  41. surindernath says:

    Sir I am delighted !


  42. Sia says:

    Really funny 🙂 I always use country names when I need to spell out the alphabets 🙂


  43. Jazz says:

    Agree on the Xylophone thing. 🙂 And true that alphabets get funny sometimes. What would say Y for ?


  44. Asha says:

    LOL—- the supervisor one was funny. I had a xylophone toy and it had a stick too. when you roll it over the xylophone it used to make a nice sound.

    Your meniton on phonetics reminded me. My children learnt through phonetics. once i asked my son ( he was 3 at that time)to spell keyboard and he spelt cbrd. (in phonetics ka sound is C)

    This post must be sending many on a nostalgia lane.


  45. haddock54 says:

    It is sometimes really irritating to convey these messages through the phone.
    By the way I learned these Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Jackal, Kilo, Lima, …. when I was in the NCC. (I stopped at Lima because I forgot the rest)


  46. Aj says:

    Paaji .. A if for ABNM also … yaad hai

    aetro beatro neatro meatro

    Ki haal chal ne Mann Sahib…


  47. Bk chowla says:

    Frankly,honestly,I dint know about this.
    It’s really funny


  48. Deeps says:

    Hahaha that was funny!

    It was X for X-ray when I was small, but for Namnam, yes it was xylophone :P.

    I really enjoyed re-learning the phonetics when doing my Travel n Tourism course. I particularly loved saying ‘Foxtrot’! 😀


  49. Swaram says:

    Hahahahaha! I learnt X for X-mas tree 😛 😛

    Say ‘S’ for ‘Swaram’ next time, okay? 😉


  50. Noopur says:

    Quite different one…and an indeed post
    Same thing happens with me many times… 😀


  51. Hilarious indeed, X = Xray in my world, I must admit, you do bring some interesting discussion to the table.


  52. nice ..I enjoyed reading .,.. all these alphabets will come across ur wicked mind..:) as for X ..its x-mas tree..
    for us bholi kudiyaa its as simple as “now I know my abc next time wont you sing wid me”


  53. Meera says:

    Just thought I’d let you know – the day I read this post, DD told me that she played the Xylophone during music practice. There, now you know one xylophone player 🙂


  54. Meenakshi says:

    Glad I found your blog, very interesting post, will keep coming back for more…rab tohanu chadhhdiyaan kalavan ch rakhe!


  55. Deboshree says:

    X for Xylophone. Y for – Yardstick? I wonder what would happen if alphabet books used words from this post. 😛 Awesomely funny post, Bikram! 😀


  56. I can’t pronounce that word properly, X for….I think we should change it now, simpler day to day words. BTW, European names are hard to pronounce…


  57. scorpria says:

    G for Gnome!? Hahahahahahhahaha
    Super funny this post is!


  58. Bindu says:

    Those first letters and pictures stay fresh in our memory.
    I rarely had to spell out names over phone, and for me it will be a really tough task. English is such a confusing lang.
    Really funny, Bikram!


  59. Ashwini C N says:

    Ha ha. Nice post. INteresting perspective I say.

    English language is full of exceptions, the people who founded the language made sure they did all this (spellings and pronunciations being different) just to confuse all of us and make our life miserable..oh wait..make our life enjoyable 😀


  60. Apala says:

    wowie! this was such fun to read!


  61. dNambiar says:

    Hahah! Super cool post. Thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s crazy how those words come to mind first. 😉 You’re so right, Bikraaaaam 🙂


  62. Kiran says:

    I blogged about pronunciation recently too. It’s a tricky business.


  63. यशवन्त माथुर says:

    कल 16/11/2012 को आपकी यह बेहतरीन पोस्ट पर लिंक की जा रही हैं.आपके सुझावों का स्वागत है .


  64. sridevi1974 says:

    Ha …Ha gave me the much needed laughs this Thursday morning 🙂 love English …but more in love with “Hinglish” …btw do you know how our gulti bro spelled “Coffee” . He spelled it as “K-AUGH-EY” K as in kite , AUGH as in caugh and EY as in Key …and he was perfectly right 🙂


  65. Gnome lol ..

    my 2.5 yrs old niece this Diwali recited the alphabets ..and by th time she reached X she said .. in that cute, hard to understand pronunciation daaylopphone … which later i understood what she meant was xylophone .. 😛

    once i had to spell on phone name of a particular place .. it was S and after so many tries i said shut up and finally the lady understood what i was saying 😀


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