Archive for October 30, 2012

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to make any personal attacks on any one. Hence, no names have been taken. Please refrain from getting personal.

I had done a post (  And we Expect a Change in our society- Not a wordless wednesday) a few months ago on a similar discussion , A comment I had placed on an article,  I got a great reaction then and It seems I have let myself into another one again 🙂 , I never know when to shut up..

do I ?  he he he 🙂

I have a similar reaction to put today too, There is an article where a lady is wanting to take some advice from people about her relation with her in-laws. The context is about how she has a problem with her hubby intending to move back from USA to India because of his parents.

Now the content of the article or the email is Not what I want to discuss..

It’s what I wrote as a reply to the article and the  reactions that comment generated  that I am more interested in ..

So now you know what is the base. This is what I wrote ..

Dear ABC.. . I am sorry but you shud be discussing this with your Hubby and not with strangers ..

How can me or anyone else give you advice since we dont know you, or your hubby or your family.. how can someone anyone do that.. you will get a lot of advice here by lots of people but remember much of that advice is from people who have not been in the same situation as you.. and even if some have been in the same situation then Their in laws or their hubby is not exactly same as yours ..

so talk to your hubby , tell him your apprehensions I am sure things can work out for sure .. Talking always helps .. All the best and god bless

Thumbs UP 9  Thumbs Down 39

Right then lets get into statistics 🙂 .. I am bad in maths so pardon me if I have calculated wrong .. 🙂  There are 39 people who think my advice to the lady to discuss it with her husband is wrong compared to 9 ..  that is just  18.75%,    81.25%  which in this case means MAJORITY of the people think  resolution of an issue between a couple through mutual discussion is no good,  so assuming talking is no good .. WHAT IS GOOD THEN.. parting ways, separating , divorce ..  NOW don’t you think that is a high number of people who think that way ..

The above conversation has had a few comments as a reply too .. and knowing me since I love to argue my points .. it has become a Fascinating read,   I am not copy-pasting other bloggers’ replies to my comments as I have not taken permissions from them and I don’t have the right to copy-paste as such…. HENCE I have just pasted one of mine ..  what is worrying, well – at least for me is that the number of Thumbs down to the subsequent replies is increasing day by day .. so that 81.25% people I am talking of is ACTUALLY MAY BE HIGHER in percentage..  because the kind souls who gave my comments a thumbs up have slowly given up bothering to the subsequent replies.. I guess they just read  shook their heads and moved on  🙂

Another funny thing is ,  I asked a question later on in the chain of replies as to what is wrong if the hubby wants to go back home to stay with his parents..   (Oh boy , you got to see the reaction to that one .. Thumbs UP 3   Thumbs Down 23 )   it is about 12% in my favour ONLY 🙂 I wonder, does no one think like me?  Something strange..!! Are all the men out there ready to leave their parents and stay away from them, and are all the women out there ready to make their husbands stay away from their parents?

Instead of a reply I was asked what if SHE wants to live with her parents ..  Now again the question comes.. is it  just because I said or asked the question from a MAN’s point of view I got the reactions .. (just for recording purpose the counter question got Thumbs UP 15    Thumbs Down 2) thank god there were 2 who felt as I did 🙂  Phew I thought I was alone again .. Well, to that, if she wants to live with her parents, and if he is willing, then why not? This is an entire discussion in itself – and is a digression to the topic in hand. There are a lot of men who have been brave enough to take on the responsibility of their in-laws and kudos to them – but our always-glorifying-society-which-wants-to-make-a-difference categorises such brave men as “ghar jamai”.

If I had again said something or done some man bashing I probably would have got a better reaction .. and How can a Counter question to a Question be the RIGHT ANSWER.. which gets societies approval …    according to statistics is again approx 88%..

There are again 88% people out there who think instead of replying if we counter question and especially bring the GENDER in the equation to DILUTE the topic in hand, is the right way to solve a problem ?

What do you think people.. Do you feel the same way as I do, OR am I completely off my nuts as usual ?   (I know I asked this question in a post earlier and all of you said I was not , maybe you would want to change your thought now) 🙂

I would love to hear your views on this , What do you take from the above reactions to my comments in context to the Thumbs up and thumbs down.. Thumbs down I take as people not agreeing with me and saying I have written something wrong

How do we expect to change the society when the people who are thinking like this are in great numbers , I wonder what they do behind closed doors of their house  I said house because clearly it cant be a HOME .. if they react the same in their own place .…  I don’t think things can change if such mentality exists …  It is clearly cleaning dirty linen in public and is something I do not subscribe to, especially when it comes to sensitive issues such as those faced by couples/families.

SO I WANT TO ASK  ALL those who pressed the thumbs down .. Because I know many of the visitors on that blog also visit my blog tooo ..  what is the problem ?  Why are we not able to make healthy discussions and why do we have to keep putting each other down, without considering the point of view of a person in a fair and just manner, in a manner that doesn’t reflect undue prejudice?

Is It

1. My Face
2. Me being a male commentator… 
3. I did not do any man bashing
4. Or some other hidden agenda..  🙂 

And we the people of our nation think that we can make a difference … SERIOUSLY

Maybe I live in a ideal world .. But I think in my own heart that till we have lived it all, and tried all avenues , its never a right decision to break a relation, but I guess its too much to ask from anyone .

PS:- The figures I have quoted were right till 10:51AM of october 30th 2012 , UK time..  I just picked the figures before i was going to publish the post.. so please dont shoot me if the figures are not right ..