English is a funny language – 2

Continuing from Part 1

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.   (Shilpa Garg  came out with this one)

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Have a great week ..  Have you got any funnies like these 

Awards- tags

Anita Awarded me the Versatile blogger award. and I am so proud to show it off, and the best was which i liked she calles me   Bikramjit of Me and My Random Thoughts ( The mover and shaker).. I like that Thank you so much 🙂

***********************************************

Scribby And AshreyaMom also awarded

Now over to the rules that come with all the awards  :

• Link back to the blogger who nominated you.
• Post the blog award image on your page.
• Tell 7 facts about yourself.
• Nominate 15 other blogs.
• Let the nominees know they been chosen.

I have done part 1 of linking back, Thank you for giving me this one,  7 random facts about me, Well I use to have a lot but over the time , it seems everyone knows everything about me now.. so there is nothing left as random, but please do have a look here just in case you are curious 🙂

***********************************************

PAGAL hain Kya ?!!? Where CD .. AKA Confused D blogs had given me an award and I was to write 7 random facts but she has been clever and already knew that we might not do the task so she created a Tag with some questions of her own, and I am to reply to those.. I was waiting for a long time to get this published .. but before that you know how I love to show off, She has said some beautiful words about me ..

“Bikram  from Me and my Random thoughts:-  Just visit his space and look out for the awards section. You will be speechless! He can write from anything to everything! He will scare you, make you laugh, make you cry. Enough said He is THE versatile blogger! “.. YAYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Here are the questions 🙂 

1) Have you stopped getting those mental attacks you used to get earlier?

Yesss. I have stopped having those mental attacks, because they are now CONSTANT.. so always there 🙂  And by the way how do you know I use to have them.

2) My name is “I” and Your name is “You”. Tell me who is mad?

Everyone but ME..  ( I just answered the previous question on mental attacks, so you can well imagine my mental capabilities or state…

3) What means kya?

Kya Means what !!!!!!!!!!!!!

4) If you had ‘Alladin’s lamp’ , what would you ask for me?

I will ask for all your wishes to come true, whatever you desire and want always….

5) Tell me the name of the persons who shake their hands on Nokia instruments?

I don’t use a Nokia so have no idea what so ever, again please refer back to answer 1 on my mental capabilities , do you think I am capable of doing the hand shakes .. What are they by the way ..

6) When is your birthday? 

Every day can be my birthday as long as i get tons of gift.. but for those miser ones who dont want to spend their money it is on the 11th day of the 11th month of the year..

7) I am hungry! What will you cook for me? I am a vegetarian.

Well the door is open, come over and what ever you find in the fridge I shall cook it for you ..

***********************************************

 D Nambiar passed on another award for me .. I AM SO BLESSED to have so many lovely people around me .. God is kind to me yayyyyyyyyyyy

Thank you everyone for all the love and affection shown to me 🙂  Have a great weekend…

I have another Tag pending by Jaish from JaishWrites, please bear with me Getting there slowly 🙂

Wordless Wednesday (37) :- God must be Angry

The Start

Little Golf Balls

The End

You can see How they smashed the screen and Went through..

My poor car is also going for repairs, they need to fix the Roof- change the bonnet-and Front passengers door.. 😦

And if there is Still something to be seen , have look at the Video below. This is my office Car Park.. Watch the Big bouncers on the Audi..  around 16th second onwards..

watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ueMEAzv_Sl0

Funny.. Me thinking what I could- Part II

As promised in my previous article Me thinking what I could(click if you haven’t read it), If I am in my house feeling bored Sitting on my suite thinking

3. I thought I will go out to a pub meet some people, have a drink or two.. But hold on its Monday and too early to go to the pub (well for me it is its only 11AM in morning).. so I don’t think I would have found anyone in the pub.

Now on other hand If it was in my hometown.. I knew exactly what I would have done.. started my bike, MUM- I will be back in a minute or so .. (The Minute is this case finishes after 60 seconds but the SOOOOOOO continues tick tock tick tock ).. She would have said something , but the roar of the engine (I have a enfield) would have drowned the sound, ride to sector XX, take the left turn reach a house in middle , park the bike, open the gate , walk into the doorway, go to back of house, open the iron door, turn right , open another door into my friend sukhvir’s bedroom. ( he works on a night shift on monday and tuesday)

“Oh haan Mann, ki haal ”   – “hello Mann – How are you”
“theek thak, university chaliye” – “All right, Lets go to University” I would reply

No second thoughts..

He would get up, tie his turban, off we go.. Baba sehgal has been advertising his new brand of whiskey RITZ ( i am talking of 1990’s 3 or 4 )..and its the in thing, so on way we stop at THEKA, one half of Ritz, in the pocket it goes, ride to the sector 16, right in front of the cricket stadium a Juice wala is standing , we have a ACCOUNT with him.. he makes half a jug of orange juice with ice, we empty the half into it .. two big glasses
GULP GULP… and off we ride to the UNI..

The fresh air starts to do the trick, by the time we reach UNI gates we are a bit tipsy.. Go to law department, well behind the law department the canteen guy makes us fresh Samose and channa.. we have that .. soon a few others turn up.. and ITS A MEHFIL…

NOW GO ON BEAT THAT ……I can go into a friend’s house, without calling him first telling him I am on way, I don’t have to knock or ring the bell, telling who it is outside.. JUST walk in…

If Aunty is there then its good news cause then we get a nice cup of DUDH PATTI– (tea leaves in milk) with nice lovely sweet juicy Rusks.. and uncle ji would be working in this little kitchen garden, calling me showing me the lovely Carrots, cabbages , Spring onions , raddishes..

Hai bai mann ki haal chal hai  (Mann, How are you doing)

sab theek thak uncle, sat sri akal (All well Uncle, Regards)

and he would bless me with a few blessing hmmmmmmmmmm

Sadly in all these years , Uncle is no more But I know I will get the same love in that house always ..

UK SUCKS BIG TIME When it comes to relations-fun times ………

A bit of DRAMA in life

Life is funny , I thought I shall share this clip with all of you lovely people .. I would seriously ask you to stop what you are doing and Press the play button and sit back and relax and LAUGH as I did for.. oh so long.. my belly hurt .. Its a different story I got a BIG one.

This is what happened in a small town in belgium.. in a famous square..   I particularly liked the Motorbike rider (I think my friend Andro is giving me idea’s  🙂 ), Does it really happen.. WHERE..

I need to go to BELGIUM .. A.S.A.P .. You just never know what might happen next time you go out for a quiet cup of coffee!

if the button does not work then click here PLEASE .. Click me Click Me

TRUST Me folks Press that button .. AND make sure you come and tell me how you liked it or IF YOU HATED IT ..  (you know how much greedy I am of comments)

and Please don’t tell me you missed the bike rider…

and NO I DON’T mean to offend any one,  No intentions whatsoever, of offending the Lovely ladies, it’s written purely in jest and for fun. To be taken lightly and as a marketing ploy. I dont have anything against ladies, so please dont feel offended,  Thank you.

go go go go GO FOR ITtttttttttttttttt what you waiting for …   Press the Button DO IT.. Doooooooooooooooooooooooooo IT.. keep the volume down though if you are in office..

Open letter to all INDIANS

The Guwahati Molesters

Dear Wannabe/Seasoned Molester and Rapist,I will address you as pig in this post. I know that the pigs will be angry but I will personally say sorry to them.Dear Pig, I was very young when I saw my mother braving you in a bus. You were middle-aged and were leaning on her, rubbing your crotch on her shoulder.

Read more… 1,008 more words .. at Mashed Musings:

Right, Here is my view on all that is happening etc, This is what I  want to add..  Yes these molesters ,with the pathetic mentality are a Pig.. BUT WHO IS FEEDING THESE PIGS ..  is the question ?

WE as a nation are feeding them .. The pig is doing its dirty work, that is his job, that’s what pig do..  but what about the people who just stood there doing nothing .. Along with asking the pig to change its ways , Should not the question be asked from those people who watched the PIG go about its dirty work, The video that almost everyone has seen by now .. can we not count the number of people out there who were watching the SHOW..

How many vehicles can we hear in that video..

The cameraman was busy taking the video of the whole event, for as long as it took and then the Televisions went mad showing what was happening to the little girl, ALONE. millions watched. Does our media not know how to NOT put this shabby episode as a show. 

His first reaction should have been help or call police and then do the videoing .. or at least do something .. Maybe someone should ask this question from the television crew tooo , was he alone doing this did he not have others around to help .. what sort of person does it make this person taking the video. He was more interested in the news and the scoop he had .. which no other channel had ..

This is what I would do if i see I can’t help the girl as there are too many men out there, Ring the police .. If that does not work then get into my vehicle and RAM INTO THESE CULPRITS… I am sure no law would punish me for killing one of these idiots in trying to save the girl

I don’t think calling them just a pig is enough..

Some have gone and said this is an act of terrorism , But this is a terrorism on ONE sect on just WOMEN, how is that possible ?  Terrorism affects everyone, not just one person , WHEN will we get out of this mentality of each time something like this happens, out come people shouting hoarse it’s the MAN, it’s the SOCIETY, it’s this , it’s THAT.. its the police as many mouths that many reasons..  We are so good at it all…

This episode doesn’t only effect women, SORRY it effects everyone , her , her parents , her friends , anyone who knows her.. do you think the Father of this girl is dancing in joy, if is she has a brother he is partying over this ..  people who are reading this , seeing this .

So how can it be just against women.. as I mentioned in the last post we keep talking of the same thing against women ,etc etc well all the boys have some WOMEN in their household,  has any of the women come out against them ?  So those women are also culprits… they are supporting the culprits.

The thing is , I blame everyone , all are to be blamed, yes the pigs doing this MORE, but equally the people watching this, THE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS VIDEO AGAIN AND AGAIN, the people at home , everyone , I blame myself even for this ..  WHY did we let our nation come to this..?

Why can’t we treat the other as a human being or at least treat them as we want to be treated..

I feel disgusted when people start to say of it’s a man’s fault , it’s a woman’s fault, its society its this it’s that .. WELL whoever or what ever it is .. WE made it that way..

till we get out of this mentality of blaming something or someone .. things wont change EVER.. do what one may.

This is what we are, more than the molesters, the number of people watching is more..so who is a bigger PIG, the one doing the act or the ones standing there enjoying the Show…..

Many of you out there are not going to like this post , as I am not blaming one particular sect,  BUT that is the truth,  A LOUD NOISE HAS TO BE MADE… 

It takes a loud voice to make the deaf hear, with these immortal words uttered on a similar occasion by Valiant, a French anarchist martyr, do we strongly justify this action of ours. This is how the above notice was put all over the nation in those days of the british RAJ.. signed by Balraj  Commander-in-Chief  (Balraj was the pseudonym of Chandra Shekhar Azaad , The commander-in-chief of the Hindustan Socialist Republican Association (army))

I am sorry to say we are more worried about the black money and Lot of STUPID PROBLEMS, ( I am sure all those who visit me know what I am pointing at) , or other things BUT When and WHO will fight for the basic things.

Where are the Baba Ramdev’s , The Gandhians, The Anna hazaare.. What is more important to fight or have these rally’s to bring back the black money or make sure such incidents don’t take place and if they do take place then the culprits ARE CAUGHT not in half hour , not in 24 hours BUT AT THE EARLIEST,  What is more important, SHOULD the police not be brought to the DOCKS , they are paid to protect us, WHY are the culprits not arrested ALL OF THEM..

Why is Not a single police officer sacked.

Ladies and gentleman it is time to get together and  stand together and make a NOISE .. A NOISE THAT will make the DEAF hear for believe it or not , OUR SOCIETY, US, our leaders , our office bearers are no other than DEAF.. they don’t hear anything Till a loud noise is made ..

“I Dont want your tears , I don’t want your pity, I want your ANGER about this system, Given your anger CHANGE WILL COME, Unless there is anger  how can everything change ” ? 

I say that too,  MAKE THAT NOISE , WAKE THE DEAF.

hathyar hi sute haje chalaune nahin aseen bhule  

raflaan diyan nalaan de rakhe ne muh haje tak khule

jit ke ja waddi hai kithe thagan di toli

(We might have thrown our WEAPONS (hathyaar).. But we have not forgotten how to use(chalauna) them,  We have kept the mouth of our RIFLES (raflaan) open,  Where do these THUGS go after winning the elections)

I leave you with a question (hope you have reached here reading this post)  Having a STONE in hand , Who are we going to hit it with ?  The molester OR THAT person who stood there watching the whole SHOW. 

I will prefer to use my gun and shoot that who stood and watched the SHOW.. because that person is more of a culprit , I know the molester , I can see his face , but these who hide behind doing nothing are the WORST LOT.. they are the reason our nation is where it is now, they will be the next one to become molesters, rapists.. …   WE are the culprits..

Thursday Challenge (41) :-MOVEMENT

Thursday Challenge : “MOVEMENT” (Dancing, Jumping, Running, Falling,…)

I have put a lot of pics of Dancing and all on the blog ..  here (three)  and here (Happy)

get Set…

goooooooooooooooooo

and we all Fall down ..

and some old ones , can see more here (adrenalin)

India Shining – Satyamev Jayate

SAYS WHO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t Know what to say, This weeks episode did something .. I was on a course so did not have my phone with me , during lunch I had so many missed calls , It was from someone I had forgotten, How did they get hold of my phone number , don’t know, but they left a message saying “Thanks” , then the Name of the person and an invitation to come for a occasion at their home, It was someone whose son had just become a lecturer. They use to live in a one room shed , that was laying empty at our place. My father had allowed them to live there and in return the man in the house use to look after the little garden my dad had.

ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS POST , I AM NOT WRITING THIS FOR A PAT ON THE BACK, OR WELL DONE’S ANYTHING SO PLEASE DONT DO SO..

I recorded the episode of SMJ and I am horrified at what I saw, I knew there is racism , casteism etc BUT at this level I did not know .. So many posts I have written , so many emails I got , comments where people have said a lot of things to me, Called me names , Called me a TRAITOR for writing about india .. WELL TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE who had a problem with me trying to talk of my nation .. Saying that I am trying to give a bad name to the nation.. let me tell them SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE.  Look what is happening in the country and YOU MORONS are still saying what you are saying…

How can you talk about india shining when there is still ONE PERSON who has to get up and go and CLEAN YOUR SHIT.. manually.

As the person Mr. Wilson says Common wealth happened in spite of all the problems , I said in my previous post on tigers .. IF THE GOVT WANTS. things can change , Then why are they not doing it .. Is it not us being hypocrites , US being so bad, US  not deserving to be called a HUMAN BEING.

It was hilarious to listen to people who said there is no racism, no untouchability, We indians are the MOST RACIST people, I tell you and we go on when others do the same to us because of the color of the skin, we shout hoarse if a white man says “PAKI” to us , what are we doing to our own countrymen.. the foreigners are at least not doing the same to their own countrymen..

WHICH GOD HAS SAID, WHICH RELIGION SAYS to have difference or treat other human being with such degradation .. 

Mr. Stalin said it so nicely , is there casteism or racism in Islam .. ISLAM or SIKHISM or CHRISTIANITY does not teach Casteism .. BUT it is practised by muslims, Sikhs and Christians and others toooo

I am so angry watching this show, we call ourself HUMAN.. ARE WE .. look at what we do to our own people..

65 years have gone by since our independence and WE claim of so much happening , so much development  or progress..  Let me tell you ladies and gentleman all this development progress is NO GOOD if we have so many problems AND PROBLEMS ,  we have A LOT OF THEM.. It is time to get together and  stand together and make a NOISE .. A NOISE THAT will make the DEAF hear for believe it or not , our leaders , our office bearers are no other than DEAF.. they don’t hear anything Till a loud noise is made ..

A LOUD NOISE HAS TO BE MADE… 

THE HINDUSTAN SOCIALIST REPUBLICAN ARMY (NOTICE)

It takes a loud voice to make the deaf hear, with these immortal words uttered on a similar occasion by Valiant, a French anarchist martyr, do we strongly justify this action of ours.

This is how the above notice was put all over the nation in those days of the british RAJ.. signed by

Balraj  Commander-in-Chief  (Balraj was the pseudonym of Chandra Shekhar Azaad , The commander-in-chief of the Hindustan Socialist Republican Association (army))

I am sorry to say we are more worried about the black money and Lot of STUPID PROBLEMS, ( I am sure all those who visit me know what I am pointing at) , or other things BUT When and WHO will fight for the basic things.

Where are the Baba Ramdev’s to fight for the development of the people who are looked down upon, where are the Anna Hazare’s to fight for them.  All these people go on how Gandhi did this or wanted that.. WELL then what the hell are you GANDHIANS doing.. if you are telling me that things can’t change or it will take time to change then PLEASE SIR.. RESIGN from your POST and get lost .. I am sure there are people out there who can make sure things can change.

There is a person Mr. Wilson who has been fighting for the right of human scavengers for the last 25 years .. DID ANYONE know about him , I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT HIM.. But I am sure everyone knows Anna ji, Baba Ramdev  ji , we probably even know there PA’s name , the kejriwals etc ..  BUT NOT many know of Mr. Wilson.  (tell me you are reading this post , did you know, that is if you have reached so far here :))

I Feel disgraceful and feel like a Hypocrite myself..  who all feel the same way tell me ?

From 1993 to 2012 no case has been registered , yet a law has been passed, STILL people are working cleaning manually .. ARE WE STILL INDIA SHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE movie was made which showed about the use of Toilets , I read so many blogs , so many comments where people said oh how or why was this shown, this is not right , it showed india in a bad picture , How the director has done something wrong .. HEY TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE.. Watch the episode of Satyamev Jayate IT IS A TRUTH, that still happens in india. People are doing it because we are making them do it..

As Mr. Wilson  says “I Dont want your tears , I dont want your pity, Iwant your ANGER about this system, Given your anger CHANGE WILL COME, Unless there is anger  how can everything change ” ? 

I say that too MAKE THAT NOISE , WAKE THE DEAF.. 

The reason why I started this post with the phone call is to TELL you , that we can make a difference if EACH of us helps ONE person or ONE family to come up, that is enough, and THAT Is all that we need to do .. HELP just ONE FAMILY and when we all do that… thats when india will be SHINING…..

THIS MAY SOUND WRONG .. BUT ALL THOSE WHO ARE READING THIS POST ( and made it here),  I WOULD REQUEST YOU DO GIVE ME YOUR VIEWS GOOD OR BAD , I DONT CARE  BECAUSE I KNOW ABOUT MYSELF AND WHERE I STAND, DONT JUST AS USUAL READ AND WALK AWAY or PRESS THE LIKE BUTTON or PROMOTE THIS POST WITH YOUR VOTE (that does not help) .. DO SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE .. BRING OUT THAT INNER VOICE ,EVEN IF IT SAYS “BIKRAM SHUTUP- AND CLOSE THIS BLOG“.. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF GOD SPEAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiger v/s Mans… the winner is…..

I was reading a article DilipNaidu, on Tigers , Lovely pictures on the blog ..  It reminded me of this article I had written some time ago , so thought of re posting it .. My views on the state of Tiger in the wild ..

Welcome to this WORLD..

Round 15 … In the orange corner is the Tiger weighing on average 540pounds …

In the Multicolour Corner.. MAN.. weighing on average 80KG’s

DING DING…

Dhishum–dhishum.. Sound of Bullet… Tree Falling… Sound of someone removing skin of a animal…

* continues for 3 minutes ***

Silence………… AND

.. The winner is *drum rolllsss Tain tain Taannnn … **

MAN… We Winnnnnnnnnnnnnn Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

In the past few days i have been reading a lot of blogs on the condition of Tigers in our world.. The World of MANKIND .. the world where the biggest threat to the existence of any other living kind/Species is MAN.

So finish MANKIND… rest all will survive.. but this is not a practical thing to do, cause I for one don’t want to die just yet…

Another problem is the ways of the Tiger itself, it does not induce confidence that it will survive..

I read a lot of suggestions made by people what can be done, what should be done.. some have come out with

“
1) Blog about it use our respective pages on social networking websites
2) Campaign against poaching and condemn the past acts of celebrities
3) Send SMS’es and E-mails
4) Avoid using paper as much as possible
5) Visit tiger sanctuaries and national parks
6) Donate and/or volunteer – One can donate funds to World Wildlife Fund and at the same time volunteer to work towards conserving tiger by getting in touch with an NGO.

“

and various other ways .. blaming the Govt is also one of those.. I blame them too

Some have blamed CHINA too

But my Friends THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE.. The time is to WALK THE TALK.. As one of the blogs has put it so very correctly. We need to get together but we cant do it without the Govt, Because lets see the biggest risk to a Tiger at this moment is poaching, who is the poacher MAN.. he is doing it for MONEY.. because he is POOR.. If one gets caught there are 10 more to take his place..

What will we do getting together go to the jungle to stop these Men.. I can bet you anything We cant do it .. to survive in the jungle ourself will become a headache, leave alone saving the tiger, Hence my point of that the LAW needs to be made stringent.

I think if laws are stringent maybe things will improve.. an eye for an eye.. cause when a tiger kills a man.. it is maneater.. so if a man kills a tiger he is a TIGEREATER.. and deserves the same treatment..

Caught.. put in Cage and Then SHOT …

If the Govt want, Truly wants then it can be done.. as we have seen in a lot of cases if something needs done then IT can be done. Rahul Gandhi goes for Mumbai darshan without a Hiccup.. WHY .. because the Govt left no Stone unturned to make it happen.

Our DEAR DARLING NETA’s are too busy feeding the Animal inside them in their stomach.. Thats what the problem is..

Sending SMS, Emails , Blogs etc etc are not going to make ONE BIT Of difference.. Most of you will read this article and forget it, when you move on to a different page.

OR

The only way Tiger can survive is with the Extinction of MANKIND.. Get rid of MANKIND , Not just Tiger but every other species will survive

PS:- Sorry if the language in the post seems to be a bit harsh ..

PPs. :-Thank you all For the lovely words all of you have said about me in the previous post, I am touched. sorry have not been able to reply to them WILL DO, I am on a course so not getting much time .

Apology

Sometimes, accidents happen and although one does not want to do it intentionally, some things happen beyond one’s control that we cannot explain. Something like that has occurred with a recent guest post that I wrote for Rachna.

This piece was in my drafts and apparently, I assumed that I hadn’t published it. So when Rachna requested me for a guest post, I forwarded her this draft. But I have just come to know here today that I had submitted this to another blogger ‘Civil Princess’ about 8 months back, and it just slipped out of my mind completely. Usually I am very particular about such things but maybe because I had forgotten to delete the draft version of it.

Civil Princess had published this earlier , after making a few changes I sent the same to Rachna, this mishap occurred unfortunately. It is my fault and I take full responsibility for the oversight, as I should have been more careful.

Now that this has come to my notice, I wish to apologise to both CP and Rachna for the confusion and also make it clear that there were no intentions of double-posting it.

Also, I wish to request both of you very humbly to please remove the said article from your respective blogs as the article has chances of being captured as a duplicate by search engines.

This was never my intention. Neither was causing distress to either of the bloggers.

I can understand your anger towards me and it is justified , I hope you will pardon me for the same.