Whack , Chapped, Lappad, Thappad, Chanta, Ghasun, Mukka,

Long time back there was a contest, it was funny , You had to write some incidents where by you wanted to Whack or slap someone , it has got me thinking of all those incidents that have taken place , Now when I think they turn out to be a bit funny, but when they happened they were surely WHACK WHAM thoughts … What we did after the incident how we coped is strange then how we would now…

Baraat:-  My friend’s wedding. He had invited his college friends and work mates, It was a Hindu wedding scheduled for night, as we made way for hall dancing having fun in front of baraat, one of his work colleagues was burning crackers

I asked him very politely “Can I have a Patakha (cracker) “ he gave me one

I then asked Can I have a light , he replied in Haryanvi “Light to hum na deven” (wont give you the light)

I mean WTF I wanted to whack this person so hard. What sort of answer is this ?
Lucky for him Someone gave me a light.

Being in a Group:-
We were watching a movie in KC cinema Chandigarh Dirty harry, about 15-20 in group, for some reason as the movie finished a person from our group got up and slapped the guy sitting in the front row.

I remember getting so angry, I wanted to hit the living daylights out of him, lucky for my best friends took me away.
How can you do this, without any reason just slap a person, Why do some people get so bold when in a group while usually they are scary cats.. I hate people who take advantage of being in a group… it doesn’t make them brave, just shows how pathetic they are…

Colour of Skin: – On job we were driving on high street, I saw two guys bend over a car, doing something to a number plate, I stopped the car, got out, on seeing me they walked off.

I made them stop, asked what they were doing with the number plate of the car. One big bloke replies nothing. I told the guy that I saw them.

To my utter disgust he replied “SO, is it because of colour of my skin”

AAAAH wish I was not at work… would have whacked him, I hate people who use this Racism excuse… Since I could not whack him I told him “Well for your information you are Indian, I am Indian where the hell colour of skin come into it…”

Bribes: – At Delhi Airport, flight was four hours late, I was tired, sleepy and HOT. Standing in queue when my turn came the immigration officer took passport, twiggled around it, this page that page, scanned under UV, checked the picture few times.
I made a silly remark on the picture saying “I was handsome like that once “. He did not like it, he turned my passport puts it aside, asked me to step aside and wait.

Calls in 2 -3 people all white people, without a question “hello sir” “Welcome to India Sir”… all the niceties, stamps there passport off they go…

A bit later a person comes asking me what’s the matter, “ I have no clue mate”
On seeing the scotch bottles in my Duty-Free bag, “Sahib ko Ek offer kar do, jaane denge”.  (offer a bottle to the officer, he will let you go) I was aghast .. Took out my ID card shoved it up his face and Said “Get your sahib to call his Bigger sahib to have a word with me “.

I went mad I told them I am going to report if I see that officer again he is going to get a SLAP on his face… HOW ATROCIOUS can it be … Suddenly I got a VIP treatment…?

HORNS: – I wish One day I can just get out , walk to the car behind mine, get the driver out and WHACK them… then ask them… “Why are you so adamant on blowing the HORN”.

I mean it’s a busy intersection, a set of lights facing you has a big RED LIGHT on… which in every sense means STOP… So I am stopped … waiting for it to turn green… which means GO… when it turns green I will go.
Why is it that people in their cars, behind you start to blow the horn when they know and SEE the red light… common sense says that I can-not drive my car… So what’s the use of blowing the horn…?

It makes me so angry… I would whack everyone…

So what do you think are your WHACK THEM.. stories 🙂