Whack , Chapped, Lappad, Thappad, Chanta, Ghasun, Mukka,

Posted: June 18, 2012 in Blogging, Contest, Do Something Mad., Experiences, Festivals, Friends, Weird
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Long time back there was a contest, it was funny , You had to write some incidents where by you wanted to Whack or slap someone , it has got me thinking of all those incidents that have taken place , Now when I think they turn out to be a bit funny, but when they happened they were surely WHACK WHAM thoughts … What we did after the incident how we coped is strange then how we would now…

Baraat:-  My friend’s wedding. He had invited his college friends and work mates, It was a Hindu wedding scheduled for night, as we made way for hall dancing having fun in front of baraat, one of his work colleagues was burning crackers

I asked him very politely “Can I have a Patakha (cracker) “ he gave me one

I then asked Can I have a light , he replied in Haryanvi “Light to hum na deven” (wont give you the light)

I mean WTF I wanted to whack this person so hard. What sort of answer is this ?
Lucky for him Someone gave me a light.

Being in a Group:-
We were watching a movie in KC cinema Chandigarh Dirty harry, about 15-20 in group, for some reason as the movie finished a person from our group got up and slapped the guy sitting in the front row.

I remember getting so angry, I wanted to hit the living daylights out of him, lucky for my best friends took me away.
How can you do this, without any reason just slap a person, Why do some people get so bold when in a group while usually they are scary cats.. I hate people who take advantage of being in a group… it doesn’t make them brave, just shows how pathetic they are…

Colour of Skin: – On job we were driving on high street, I saw two guys bend over a car, doing something to a number plate, I stopped the car, got out, on seeing me they walked off.

I made them stop, asked what they were doing with the number plate of the car. One big bloke replies nothing. I told the guy that I saw them.

To my utter disgust he replied “SO, is it because of colour of my skin”

AAAAH wish I was not at work… would have whacked him, I hate people who use this Racism excuse… Since I could not whack him I told him “Well for your information you are Indian, I am Indian where the hell colour of skin come into it…”

Bribes: – At Delhi Airport, flight was four hours late, I was tired, sleepy and HOT. Standing in queue when my turn came the immigration officer took passport, twiggled around it, this page that page, scanned under UV, checked the picture few times.
I made a silly remark on the picture saying “I was handsome like that once “. He did not like it, he turned my passport puts it aside, asked me to step aside and wait.

Calls in 2 -3 people all white people, without a question “hello sir” “Welcome to India Sir”… all the niceties, stamps there passport off they go…

A bit later a person comes asking me what’s the matter, “ I have no clue mate”
On seeing the scotch bottles in my Duty-Free bag, “Sahib ko Ek offer kar do, jaane denge”.  (offer a bottle to the officer, he will let you go) I was aghast .. Took out my ID card shoved it up his face and Said “Get your sahib to call his Bigger sahib to have a word with me “.

I went mad I told them I am going to report if I see that officer again he is going to get a SLAP on his face… HOW ATROCIOUS can it be … Suddenly I got a VIP treatment…?

HORNS: – I wish One day I can just get out , walk to the car behind mine, get the driver out and WHACK them… then ask them… “Why are you so adamant on blowing the HORN”.

I mean it’s a busy intersection, a set of lights facing you has a big RED LIGHT on… which in every sense means STOP… So I am stopped … waiting for it to turn green… which means GO… when it turns green I will go.
Why is it that people in their cars, behind you start to blow the horn when they know and SEE the red light… common sense says that I can-not drive my car… So what’s the use of blowing the horn…?

It makes me so angry… I would whack everyone…

So what do you think are your WHACK THEM.. stories 🙂

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Comments
  1. *Harman* says:

    .ha haaaa ..the heading is too good bikram…Nice…I had few of those experiences at Delhi..airport..they asked for bribe seeing $s in pocket..and then they r very happy with phirangis and giving their own people a hard time…

    Like

  2. *Harman* says:

    ..hi ..Thanks for the award.. I am honored …u r a good friend!

    Like

  3. rohini says:

    Nice Whackiest ones….Blowing horns irritate me to…there mnay more cases whre i wish to give a tight chaata to one…but due to some reason, i cant…but thru ur blog i give them the virtual SLAP….uff i m too angry…cant discuss on who…but i m happy i gave them too hard..:-)and i m too sorry that u had to face such ugly situations at Delhi Airport…this time u litereally hit them…hihii

    Like

  4. even i also hate blowing horn…its useless wen u blow just to irritate others :)http://liberalflorence.blogspot.com/

    Like

  5. Bikramjit says:

    @Harman:- thank you , yeah i know that feeling at the airport.. Wish i was WHITE he he .. thanks for accepteing the award and saying i am good YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    Like

  6. Bikramjit says:

    @Rohini:- he he he CHalo this is good you got to get your anger out .. mission accomplished he he he.. I will hit them for sure I have visited 3 -4 times after that and I did not see the same guy again… so maybe some heard 🙂

    Like

  7. Bikramjit says:

    @Tripat:- he he he .. here in uk its a crime to blow horn after 10 pm to 5 or 6 am 🙂 you can actually get a Ticket to blow horn in that time .. 🙂

    Like

  8. R. Ramesh says:

    buddy thanks ya:)

    Like

  9. blunt edges says:

    "Light to hum na deven" LOL…what did he expect u 2 do with the cracker then??oh the blaring-horns-at-signal types…now don't we all wanna whack them!

    Like

  10. lol..intresting one..well u r last point bout the horns is so so so damn true…..

    Like

  11. Neha says:

    interesting list..honkers irritate almost all of us..I had a whole post on them..and I hate those who give/accept bribes..wish there was life time imprisonment for such people..nice post..good luck for the contest 🙂

    Like

  12. Oh these bribe takers how I hate them! It is a shame really! And those guys blaring horns well, I wish there was a death sentence on them, all of them, bikers, cars, trucks, buses….. all! I spare no one when I wanna whack LOL.Nice post bud.

    Like

  13. Shahid says:

    You know…blowing horns irritate me a hell lot…to an extent that one day i slowed down my vehicle completely and asked the driver honking behind me to fly his vehicle over my head…..man wasn't he angry…I loved that expression…you must try it

    Like

  14. Insignia says:

    Why did the guy slap first of all? Skin color …aaarrrggghhh…Nothing more disgusting than to use it for one's own advantage. Horns, very very irritating. People do it at traffic signal!! How pathetic. Nice list 🙂 And the post title rocks!! 🙂

    Like

  15. The title is super. Nice little experiences:D

    Like

  16. HaRy!! says:

    lyk the best way to whack post! 🙂

    Like

  17. Madhu says:

    I would start a baraat ka band and shut em up!

    Like

  18. Dhanya says:

    Whoa! You sound dangerous :O

    Like

  19. @R. Ramesh:- thanks mate@Blunt Edges :- Got knows what he expected me to do .. just was trying to be funny i guess… and yeah we all do want to whack them .. Thanks for the Vist please do keep visiting @Mingled Minds:- THanks for the visit.. and i am glad you liked the article … @Neha:- Thank you and All the best to you tooo… Yeah i read that post you had written. Thank you.

    Like

  20. @Nishant Singh:- he hehe thats a extreme death sentence.. yahan KASAB ko death sentence has taken ages. .wonder how will this hppen 🙂 thanks for the visit… do come again … and again and again 🙂 @SHahid:- ha hah aha I did that once.. we were on way to amritsar and this guy.. but lucky for me we were about 8-9 of us in two cars so it was fun… 🙂

    Like

  21. @insignia:- THats Why i was angry, cause there was no REASON to slap.. just cause we were in a group it made him HE MAN… Skin color comes a lot in my profession its a pity.. but i take no notice now .. i have one word SUE ME .. end ofthanks for liking the post…

    Like

  22. @THe holy Lama:- thanks for liking the Title.. I hope that alone wins me the Contest he he hehee 🙂 @HAry:- he he heeh glad you LYK ed it … @Madhu:- he heeh thats a good idea too.. now hy did i not think of that … @Dhanya :- lai how cum.. what made you think that .. I am a very nice-polite-decent-all nice — all good blah blah blah person 🙂 yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ha ha hahaha .. thanks for the comment though…

    Like

  23. Marc says:

    I think that my thoughts will always correct in the future If the horns blowing.

    Like

  24. ajay says:

    Wah wah Kya baat hai .. headline is zabardast .. article tana hona hi si .. 🙂 I don't remember these episodes when did you do them.. whose wedding was it … ExcellentE' paaji

    Like

  25. Jas Sekhon says:

    It was Gupta's Wedding, and Do you remember Manjita what he did later on in the hall , when he got to know what those parwanoo guys did .. Funny man he Manjit… Bribes thats sad I had a a experience when we went Will tell you when we meet up..

    Like

  26. Do you know about intellectual whacking? When we meat whackable people, instead of giving them a physical blow, we tell them something that insults their intelligence. It’s sometimes harder to take than a physical blow! I have indulged in a few of them, but I am yet to apply it on a mass scale 🙂

    Destination Infinity

    Like

  27. Amit says:

    If I go on a whacking spree, I will whack the daylights out of 90% of the people I meet everyday. I completely understand your plight but its sometimes very difficult to control yourself. We need serious lessons in anger management. 🙂

    Like

  28. Bhagyashree says:

    Interesting!! My; you have had your moments. My whack moments after coming here are when just bcoz I am an Indian I am expected to obey and bow my head down. No, sir why should I?

    Like

  29. techie2mom says:

    Ohhhh, so we have a brand new angry young man!!!!
    The Baaraat incident was really funny….But others, especially the airport one was seriously anger inducing….

    Like

  30. This is a Dhaansu post 😉
    I wish someday some one asks me- is it because of my skin colour so that I can say..Nah you are too ugly for anyone to notice that…..

    as for the baraat guy may be he wanted you to light the pataakha with inner glow….tell tell tell now 🙂

    Bikram can you send me a xerox of your ID ….i promise i will flaunt it wisely..and i too can say tu janta nahi mera friends kaun hai…

    Like

    • He he he he 🙂 You know that reminds me , we were on this Taxi op, and a asian taxi driver was pulled over.. He saw me asian too, while me and my partner were discussing what to do with this guy arrest him or impund his car.. he came over all sarcy and this – that.. you talking about me .. I replied to him NA you are not that important we got to talk about you .. he looked at me he he he 🙂

      I cud send you the xerox copy but how will you use it , it has a bi ugly picture of mine on top of it 🙂

      Like

  31. Smita says:

    All whackable moments indeed!!!! I have written something similar here

    http://books-life-n-more.blogspot.in/2009/06/one-tight-slap.html

    But seriously sometimes we feel like hitting some people for the deeds they do. One tight slap!!!

    Like

  32. Ashwathy says:

    I think this has just given me idea for a new post 😀 Thanks!

    Like

  33. Ruchira says:

    I came here after reading the title of the post ! I”ve have had many thappad moments – right from hitting guys who were ogling at me, to a lapaad on the faces of peopel who give me unsolicited advice !

    Like

    • GLad the title got you here , otherwise you wud not have come 😦 now i need to start to think of whacky titles just so you come …. as if it was already not very complicated 🙂

      good of you to have hit those guys, I like that well done

      Like

  34. Jenny says:

    Brainless people honking when the signal is red is a total whack situation. You are actually very patient. Not once did you whack any of these guys in such situations. Kudos

    Like

  35. My Era says:

    Loved the title of your post and I must agree there are countless incidents on a daily basis that trigger your anger but violence hasn’t been on my mind ever, till recently.

    The happenings of the past one year have somehow get me tempted to do all that your post title says.Though I won’t hog your blog about any of those for my blog is actually about all those moments 😛

    The skin color thing and other racial discrimination especially at workplace really used to anger me to no limits. Though am back to India but the way people discriminate on basis of tones of brown skin and even caste gets on my nerves so many times.

    Like

  36. ladynimue says:

    good ones .. I guess except the first , all incidents qualify for a valid reason to slap the other party !
    I guess I would only beat the guy who misbehaves with me sexually / harasses an innocent one same way ..

    Like

  37. Shilpa Garg says:

    Oh sure, all the people in the incidents you shared here, needed a whack, chapped… 😀
    LOL @ Chapped and Ghasun… a punjabi’s favorite!!

    Like

  38. yuvikachaube says:

    ha ha ha – somebody is being violent!

    Like

  39. i remember a day when i wanted to whack a person right in the face for trying to flirt with a girl half her age in an office party ..

    Like

  40. i remember a day when i wanted to whack a person right in the face for trying to flirt with a girl half his age in an office party .. sorry typo mistake veer ji .. in the previous comment !

    Like

  41. Ria says:

    The title of the post and all the instances were so funny! 😛 U sure r very patient.

    Like

  42. Privy says:

    Interesting list 🙂

    I feel like doing this to guys who make catcalls at girls and tease them the most!!!

    Like

  43. Zephyr says:

    We are becoming a whack-nation, anyway, aren’t we? Look at the all the celebs going on a slapping spree at the drop of a hat. But yes, many people deserve a genuine whack on their backs for the way they behave in public.

    @Ruchira: Attagirl! Proud of you 🙂

    Like

  44. Scribby says:

    whack the ones who:

    >litter the roads and spit
    >break signals and honk horns
    >point fingers to strangers
    >make annoying sound while eating
    >poke their noes in personal matters

    ah and the list might not end so soon…but only if I could really whack these,sigh!

    Like

  45. Haryanvis are lil strange in that manner and I simply hate when people bring color as a lame excuse. I feel like whacking people who pretend to be smart, no they are not, they just act.

    Like

  46. Rahul says:

    Nice one Bikram! Fell like the way you felt on many a similar situations:)

    Like

  47. renu says:

    All the incidents you mentioned are worth a whacking, but personally i am not not brave enough to do that..I dont even shout while fighting, prefer to sort out everything with discussion only…

    Like

  48. Jas says:

    Really interesting… Horn blowers are the most irritating people on earth. I feel like getting down from my bike and teach them some manners. Even while standing at the lights, they keep honking.

    Like

  49. All I am trying to remember is who did I ever wanted to whack so badly? and all I can recollect is, I rather wanted to kill people, not just slap them. The customs officers, should start my post on them soon, how they treated me on my last trip to India. Blowing the horns, seriously. The traffic is jammed like a hell and there goes this oink, poink..one after the other. Loved your post.

    Like

  50. ashreyamom says:

    there are so many instances.. may be i should do a post on it and give the link here as comment.. 🙂

    Like

  51. metherebel says:

    That was funny!!! The endless horns gets on to my nerves.

    I guess you have given most of the people an idea for their post 😉

    Like

  52. Cynosure says:

    hahaha…those were some of the so true incidents…especially the last one…I too wanna someday go and knock down such stupid shits… 😛

    Like

  53. Puja says:

    🙂 I have had so many of these – ‘one tight slap’ moments!!!

    Like

  54. Jazz says:

    I feel like this whenever I’m speaking to my boss with a plastered smile on my face. 😀

    Like

  55. Reema says:

    I too feel like slapping people who keep honking at traffic signals

    Like

  56. In India a lot of people think bullying is somehow empowering, and politeness and good manners are a sign of weakness – we really need to understand and respect good manners and general decency.

    Like

  57. Even though I am tempted to whack, I would never do it. I think violence of any form is bad. Only if someone physically accosts me will I reach out and hit. Otherwise, dirty looks will suffice.

    Like

  58. Rosy says:

    Hi Bikram,
    nice post, I feel like doing the same so many times but I guess we have to learn how to be patience and control our anger. Letting out our anger shows how week we are inside. All I have learned is that thapad has never solved any problem.

    Like

  59. Deeps says:

    Gosh that immigration officer, some nerve! Good that you didnt let go, Bik! Such people are a shame to our country!

    Like

  60. jaishvats says:

    What a list Bikram. If you ask me would need not a post but may be a big book for my list of I wish I could whack ha ha…For instance, the men who try to show off in restaurants and intimidate some poor waiter ,all the lazy men in Govt offices, the teachers and doctors who ended up in the wrong profession and do their jobs most unethically!

    Like

  61. your title is fundu…and yes sometimes I do feel like slapping people for their stupidity and rudeness but I control the urge by counting from 1 to 10…try it..it works

    Like

  62. NRIGirl says:

    Interesting share Bikram!

    Just once – only once – never before – never after, I came this close to hitting a girl in college when I learned that she had said many lies of things I never said or imagined or even comprehended.

    I stil feel ashamed of my anger at her though. Wish I could meet her again someday and apologize to her…

    True what she did was wrong; but there is no justifying of my reciprocal either.

    Like

  63. Shobha says:

    Yes Bikram, many a times you feel like slapping someone…we have come across so many such incidents specially in the airports..and as you said also in UK, when we lived there.. at the same time we also had some good Irish friends, who used to get into arguements and tiffs because of us…

    Like

  64. makpossible says:

    I agree with you to whack the “hornies” Bik. And most of us don’t id cards to get vip treatment 🙂
    You are so good at narrating Bik.

    Like

  65. alka says:

    hahahaha…great post..and d honking bit,,,ya that gets me to wanna whack ppl as well…its so annoyng i mean i dont leav frm hous to sit in a car n stop it in d middle of the road….lol…lov d title as well

    Like

  66. 🙂 memories !!!

    Like

  67. raju070 says:

    Quite a few whacko moments you have described and I guess all of them qualify as sure shot Whack Wham moments. 🙂

    The “whacking a person” when you are in a group is really bad. It is so easy to fake courage and so difficult to actually show some when really needed.

    The color of skin thing was really pathetic. And the bribe incident.. I really admire the way you stood up to it.

    The horn is a big irritation for me too. Never understood the rationale behind honking. And I guess I never will.

    Like

  68. umashankar says:

    As a child, I had often fantasized finding Captain Haddock in real life. Today, you complete my dream! I wish you had gone the entire length of your title with most of them up there! 😀 ※♡o_O! !

    Like

  69. b K Chowla says:

    What irritates me the most is the sound/noise of horns

    Like

  70. Dew says:

    my countless fights wid autowallahs yaar… :-/

    Like

  71. Bhavia says:

    Bribes have become an unavoidable entity in our life.You offer bribe,you get a 1st class treatment everywhere..WTH!!

    PS : BTW,intersting title 🙂

    Like

  72. bhavanas11 says:

    How strange I don’t have whack them stories….ahem,I guess because I have whacked them all :):) Now everyone runs scared!!!!

    Like

  73. ZEAL says:

    Great post! But honestly speaking the title scared me at the first glance..:)

    Like

  74. Enjoyed reading your post. The title was awesome, and it describes everything you want to. I do not like to be treated in an unfair way , when I am not at mistake. So i would do anything to go and get what I want. Guess there are many people like me. 🙂

    Ashwini
    http://ash-aqua-girl.blogspot.in/

    Like

  75. […] year of college , as Rajesh went to the engineering college after that, I did meet him once on his wedding day. But after that we had never met Or been in contact with each other .. so its was going to be A […]

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  76. […] Well If i have to bang a person than that can’t be a Fine moment 🙂 Again loads here is a list of them WHACK-CHAPED-GHASUN […]

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