When Law is taken for ADVANTAGE BY A WOMAN

Posted: March 3, 2012 in A Phone call, Abuse, Honesty, Liars, Relationships, Shameless
Tags: , , , , , ,

I have been reading a lot on how women are treated badly and how it should all be equal, I got no qualms against anyone but I do think that not everyone is same and people of all kinds take advantage of every situation men-women both.  There are a lot of people out there who are taking advantage of the new laws that have come up ..

So today i will tell you a true story and you tell me who is wrong .. My brother in law “S”  is married To “R” and lives happily in delhi, they have a beautiful daughter. I am very close to him, Now my sister in law has a younger brother “B” who also shifted to Delhi as a career move and stays with them .  About 3 years ago “B”  got married, I could not go for the wedding due to some reasons, The last time I had met my cousin and every one was in 2008 , at that time there was not even a talk about this marriage i am talking of.

I am making this point because you all will be highly astonished what has happened when people make a mockery of law and how the law’s that have been made for the uplift of women in our society are used for personal gains.. So remember this Point 2008 I had last met my cousin his wife , her brother.

2009 february time the brother got married to a girl who was still studying in the final year, They got married end of february, so after marriage within a week or so she went back to the parents house to prepare for the exams that she had to appear in March, After her exams she came straight to Delhi to stay with her husband. who was still sharing the house with my brother and wife although he had been looking for a apartment all this time, luckily for the new they got a place of their own soon and moved into a new one, this all went on till may-june time.

During all this time the girl had not visited her parents or her in-laws , as they were still admist looking for a new apartment , finding a job , setting up a home etc etc , I mean we all know the drill.

In July something happened I don’t know what , some arguments amongst the husband-wife , whatever , the girl packed her bags and went to her house…

So other than the reason of the argument which I don’t know this is all that has happened, this was followed by the usual boy trying to bring her back, the parents went to bring her back but she did not come at all.

So the girl just spent a few days in the start of her wedding in her in laws house, then the boy left her in her parents house and came to Delhi in april or may whenever the exams finished lets say april.. In July she went back that is may-june-july assuming she went on 31st July .. 3 whole months.

All this trying to patch up things went on for some time, In the end to Cut the story short divorce proceedings started.. which has been going on for long, please don’t ask me the details as I have none and this post is not about that.. NOW the latest I got to know is she has made an allegation that she was BEATEN up badly by her in-laws .. THE police was so quick to react the parents of the boy were arrested and taken to the police station where they spent a night before their lawyer got the bail done..

Other than that also the allegation of dowry which I must say as is a tradition in Punjab, it was one of those hight end weddings where a lot of give and take happened, So fair enough I got no qualms over that the Girls side wants all the dowry back, Which as far as i know has been returned BUT the boy’s side did an Intelligent thing they made sure when they returned the items it was done Via the Court so each and every item was written, but the girls and her parents have left no stone unturned to make false allegations against the family.

I mean when was she beaten in the first 5 -6 days she spent in the in -laws house if that the case then she had gone back to her parents house , WERE THEY BLIND NOT TO SEE THE BRUISES THEN.  After that She never met the in-laws so When did they beat her.  If the husband had beaten her up then again she had packed her bags and gone home again were her parents so blind they did not see their daughter bruised AGAIN.

The reason Why I am writing this note is and I had asked you all to make sure you remember that I had last met my cousin in 2008, Well In the FIR that was lodged where by it was said that she was BEATEN up, GUESS WHOSE NAME is in the list of people who BEAT her .. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS   BIKRAMJIT SINGH MANN’s name and I have not even met the girl , I have not even seen her picture let alone met her.

I got to know of this the other day when I run up home to enquire about land-crop etc from the caretaker, He Told me that Police came LOOKING FOR ME .. He also told me my cousin had been arrested and had to spend a day in jail, SO I rung my cousin who tell’s me don’t come till I say so, because if police comes to know I have come to india I might get arrested .. and I was like WTF.. are they so stupid , I live in UK thousands of miles how the hell did I beat this woman and when did I do that.

How did the Police or law or whatever register the complaint which had my details in it, DID They not enquire who or where I was,  WHen they went to my house to do whatever they went for, they got the details that I live in UK why they still have my name in the list.

Whats more amazing is how did this girl and her family find out my name and details and everything , I mean I am not related to them even, I have met my cousins in-laws only once in my life , when they had come for the last rites of my father in 2007, that was the first and last time I was introduced to them.

Now please people tell me what is this and when I write at other posts as a comment that some people use the change of law to their advantage I got lots of replies which were like taunting me .. Here we go this is a true story lets see how many of those who gave me a thumbs down or wrote those comments against me , I ask them the question What do you have to say about this .. Is this the right way to do things or IS THE WOMAN WHO IS ACCUSING ALL THESE THINGS IS SHE RIGHT in doing what she is doing..

Whatever the reason of their fight may be , if she wants a divorce then why does she not just sign the documents and get it over with move on with her life and lets others move on too, why is she putting these false allegations, even if they are true WHY has she dragged me into it when I don’t even know her.

Comments
  1. OMG! This is bizarre!!! Yes, you are right. Sometimes people misuse their rights. It’s pathetic.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Not just sometimes basically all the time if one can get away with something they will do it. All the values etc go out of the window. Imagine if I was a Indian citizen how harassed I wud be and none of these woman cells would have come to help.

      Like

  2. Magali says:

    Wow. What a bunch of crap. It is sad that people can be so low & despicable & misuse the law. The law in general is definitely needed to protect girls.
    I think the blame would go to two parties, first obviously the girl & her family for doing what they did but secondly & more importantly the horrible haphazard job that the Indian police does. Despicable.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes law should do that protect, and hence all these laws , but what is happening is that the laws that are made for the uplift of woman are being misused, the ones for which this law was made are still treated bad, they are still mistreated, girls are being killed , so much .. yet not much is done for those and here is a person who is well off belonging to a rich family and educated..
      the law is going all out to help her..

      after their investigation i am sure they will find out its all a lie then what ..

      Like

  3. mackubex1 says:

    indian law has been abused so badly against women .. that now the cops will blindly accept anything a woman says .. for fear of severe retribution ..

    Like

  4. The law supporting women more than men in such matters, has its pro’s and con’s. Even for the women. There is always a society on whom everyone is dependent on. And the society is important, no matter how rich one is and how many connections one has. Once an impression has been set, its very difficult to come out of it. People who take advantage of the law learn it slowly, but surely.

    And stop saying that dowry is our tradition, etc. Whether in Punjab or TN. It is a practice that has crept into the society when the times were very different. And it will have to get eradicated in the modern times. It doesn’t have much options. Just time.

    Destination Infinity

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I am not saying anything on dowry I said I don’t know if its was taken or given and I don’t take anyone’s word. And dowry will never go away it has found new ways gifts Dora your daughter. This post is not on dowry.. what I am concerned is how cum my name popped up and why did police visit my house. How can someone just take a name and get harassed . The woman has a problem with her in laws and her husband sort it with them not with anyone around. I am in UK imagine if I was in India I would have spent time in jail for no fault of me a woman thought she can UAE the law so everyone runs like a idiot sorting it out. This is what I have written on.

      Like

  5. I am all for women’s rights but I am open enough to realise there are several women out there who manipulate the system to their advantage. Unfortunately, in some cases, it’s women like these who put the real victims in strife…where people are less likely to believe them. I think in the developed countries in particular (US, UK, Aus) women can sometimes have more rights than men in some situations…like for instance when it comes to parenting. I have seen cases where custody is automatically given to the mother when the child would prefer to be with the father because mum in fact is abusive! Go figure.

    In your case, surely the police can check your whereabouts! The fact that you live and work in the UK is alibi enough! Can’t believe they didn’t just check it out and realise that the complaint made against you is a lie. Can you sue for defamation or something? Or wrongful incrimination? Or something?

    Hope things work out…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah but now like in UK there are groups coming up with fathers right and all.. and things are changing mothers don’t get the child automatically now here.

      Yeah I have a alibi but that’s not the point. As such I am British citizen so they can do bugger all. It’s how law is used As if it belongs to them. Pathetic… And I am just waiting for all the people who had a go at me when I said its misused let’s see them coming and saying what they have to say. I bet they will say its a man’s fault and probably mine toooo

      Like

  6. its very strange ..and the law is also blind that anybody ‘s name can be taken and cops go looking for that person.
    Name of law or maybe bribe bick these things are prevalent … I mean its absurd money can do anything ..
    Now about law .. it seem laws are jus made AND advantage are taken by those who are first one to violate those laws.
    Gurl seems to be quite cunning …

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Harman well law i know but then police had to investigate when a complaint is made so i am jsut hoping that they investigate properly and submit a logical and TRUE report to the court, I wonder what the girl will have to say when it comes out that i am not involved in any way , I wonder what will court do then or will the crafty lawyer find something else 🙂

      Like

  7. Vaish says:

    OMG! That’s a total sh*t! And it’s very weird! How did she even come up with your name. Totally agree on your side as to the fact that many people do try to use the law and take advantage over it! And the law that always believes women to be on the vulnerable side, will always think that way. They don’t actually investigate. Can’t they even have some common sense if a person has not been in India, how could they beat the girl. How long does that take to get the info from ministry of external affairs or immigration department! These days..these girls na..they are very smart..they are using the law to a great advantage – spoiling the name of Women!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Exactly my feelings. but what can i do. Common sense is not common anymore …

      everybody seems to be trying ot make the best of the laws I guess …

      Like

  8. Androgoth says:

    The woman in question is adding ridiculousness to her account of what is supposedly happened, indeed it is a farce offering preposterous claims to a story that is already sketchy to say the very least, I mean how can one add names onto a list of abusers when the person named has only ever met the woman on one occasion, and even worse is not even living in the same country?

    And why are the police not doing their job? It seems to me that there are many unanswered questions on this predicament but it certainly needs sorting out my good friend as the situation at the moment is just totally unacceptable. I do hope that you can get to the bottom of this foolishness Bikram…

    Androgoth

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I hope so too.. Its surprising what we indians get to do andro.. I have not met her even on ONE occasion never seen her tooo.. its amazing what we can do in my great nation … you will be surprised ..

      Like

      • Androgoth says:

        I must have read this one wrong Bikram, I thought that you had
        met her just the once… It is even worse that you have never even
        met her… Hmm… She must be off her rocker or something? 😦

        Have a good start to your week my fine and wicked friend 🙂

        Androgoth

        Like

  9. zephyr says:

    You will be surprised to know the kind of things that are possible if you have some knowledge of the IPC and the way the police and law enforcement offices of the country work. I have seen this from close quarters and so keep harping on the fact that wrongs can be from two sides and it is not correct to always blame one side viz. the boy’s side for everything. But that’s how it is because the majority sufferers are women. I have shared something about this at http://cybernag.in/2010/08/can-two-wrongs-make-a-right/

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you for the link I read it. Oh my this was so bad. As you say I doubt if any of the people who go about shouting hoarse and blowing the poor sad bruised broken woman trumpet would have anything to say. As I said in my post when I write a coment that its not always a woman who is puled down I got some lovely replies, but I doubt if anyone will say anything now.

      I cant say what happened or what not I was not there maybe the woman is right was mistreated but going by who she accused and what has been going around I am sure people are intelligent enough to know otherwise.

      I am not that angry with the police either as they are doing thwir job they had a complaint they acted on it but now they shud know so when they have to submit the report hopefully they will submit true findings..

      Like

  10. Rachna says:

    This is sickening. Trust me Bikram, I’ve seen and read so many instances of women misusing the Domestic Violence Act. I’ve seen two cases close to me. It amazes me that women are turning vengeful and doing this to men and their families. It is like this that when any Act is given too much power, there will be some sick elements who will misuse it. That is why laws need to be balanced. It is a known fact that even today lot of women suffer discrimination, burning, dowry and harassment. But, it does not give the justification for other women to exploit innocent men. I hope they amend this Act soon which hangs like a dagger on the throats of boys and their families.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Rachna I have seen them myself not just in india domestic voilence is everywhere, I see it every day when i am working but it takes time, talking to parties, knowing the scenario and a lot of work to come to a conclusion as who is wrong, and its not always a man who is ot be blamed, I will say its almost same ration for both these days. You get a call oh my husband is doing this and that blah blah , you reach there and you find its the women who is more hysterical then the man whi is quiet calm and genuinly bruised but since this mindset that its always a man.. the lady thinks she can get away with it.

      everyone and anyone who can misuse law will do so, no doubts about it , there is hardly anyone who will acually say OH by the way its my fault ..

      Moreover as i have written above all i hear is the womans right this and that but those rights are to bring woman at par with men, but if we seriously look at it these rights are only it seems to be used by the educated- rich and well off ladies .. the one’s for which these rights are made , the ones for which the law is made , they are still being treated bad .. I mean so much population is under poverty line do we seriously think these laws are actually helping the women there .. I doubt it .

      Like

      • Rachna says:

        I think similarly too. Those who actually need the law might not always be benefiting. Look at reservations, did they really percolate to the discriminated folks in the villages. No! The smart, urban folks used it as a ticket to get easy admissions and jobs. But, dare anyone utter a word. I also agree that laws are meant to bring the downcast women on par not give them a weapon to misuse. In India, they need to amend the law. I can imagine that in your line of work you will be coming across plenty of such incidents.

        Like

      • anonymous says:

        Bang on Bikram “Moreover as i have written above all i hear is the womans right this and that but those rights are to bring woman at par with men, but if we seriously look at it these rights are only it seems to be used by the educated- rich and well off ladies .. the one’s for which these rights are made , the ones for which the law is made , they are still being treated bad .. I mean so much population is under poverty line do we seriously think these laws are actually helping the women there .. I doubt it .

        Sadly people don’t believe that law is actually misused rather than being used by genuine people.

        Like

  11. Padmaja says:

    Very bad luck for your name being dragged. I have seen many such cases where boy and his parents are blamed for everything that is not real. The police can really prove that this was a false complaint, but I am doubtful about it.

    Like

  12. Onkar says:

    It is really unfortunate that laws framed for welfare of some sections are being misused to victimise innocent people.

    Like

  13. Enigma says:

    Such people are sick and despicable. They misuse their rights and I don’t don’t why but such people like to harass others, even if they are the people they once loved. I just don’t understand that why people can’t sort out things through mutual understanding. The world would be a so much better place if this could happen.

    And the Indian Police, no words to describe their stupidity. As far as I’ve come across some cases, I can only infer that the police is only there to harass the normal people. Only the big cases(which has media all over it) might get solved but the smaller ones are still piled up in files never to be opened again.

    It’s so frustrating when you hear or come across such type of cases. I hope you don’t get too dragged in this case.

    At times like this, I so wish that there should be some God’s law or something which punishes the wrong, but unfortunately, it won’t happen. 😦

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      The lure to make a quick buck is one motive. Police basically works for the one who puts hard cash in their hand.. most of the time money talks and one can get anything done.

      I hope so too, I ma sure any logic if applied can know that my name has just been dragged into it for the sake of it .. but then logic doesnot work 🙂

      Like

  14. scorpria says:

    I wish someone really beat her up! Might as well face allegations for something one DID, than did not even dream of doing!

    Ugh! Disgusting!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      You know I wanted to writw that in thw post. After hearing this I seriously wish to beat this woman so she has some real bruises to show. If only she was he I would take the first flight to do this.. And taught him a lesson got enough friends out there who would not think twice to do it for me.

      Like

  15. Punam J R says:

    Mockery of the law!! Seriously… I mean what DOES she have in her mind? WHat were her intentions of marriage any way? And dragging u into this – looks like there is someone somewhere who is trying to get even with u for something.. no other logical reason in sight though.
    I know of a couple who got divorced after 15 months but the girl just took her parents’ stuff and went back, she did not even ask for alimony. Poor thing, she just could not bear the mental atrocities. And here is this great one, who pulls all her hubby’s relatives into the muck. And you, of all people, who is no where close, hasn’t even met her and has nothing to do with the matter…!!

    I seriously hope the Indian police try to get to the root of the truth and do justice.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yepp. WHat she has in her mind well let me say… use this Woman are treated bad idea to fullest , make some money out of it , trouble the other party ..

      get even with me but how will that help anyone, the police hopefully with their investigation should know by now who aor where I am. thats not gonna work
      lets see.

      Like

  16. Say Cheese says:

    I’ve heard of such cases, as a matter of fact, one of my relatives(cousin of my cousin) has fallen victim to it too. His wife tells him, tujhe talaak nahi dungi, aise hi court ke chakkar lagva lagva kar tardpaungi. Now really what the eff? She never lived with her in-laws, NEVER, but now she tells in court my MIL tortured me physically. Pathetic.

    Like destination infinity said, I am also all for women’s rights but such things, no sir!!!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      The same is going on here, been 2 years i think now.. I mean if she wants divorce and is putting so many allegation does she still think she can go back into the family. I mean sign the documents and move on. in this case she lived for just a few days. SO much wastage of money it was a grand wedding from both sides.
      Even if the boys parents tortured her then she should have come with that when the case started not a year and a half later .. Is the law so blind that it cant see itslef .. I mean I am sure the judges and all have seen enough cases where they know who is lieing , then why go on with the charade … and putting everyone in discomfort…

      Woman’s rights and all are fair enough.. but sorry to say these rights are only for the women who live in cities and are WELL OFF .. the ones who are really in a bad position the ones who live in vilalges , where they have to walk miles to get water.. NONE of these RIGHTS ever reach them .. and none of these so called WOMAN GROUPS or AGENCIES do anything for them .. they are still beaten and treated badly..
      Its funny that only the educated women, especially from RIch families get to have the advantage of these RIGHTS..

      Like

  17. Bhagyashree says:

    I was not surprised at all Bikram, to read this post. Have heard so many of these in the recent past, that I feel sickened and sometimes ashamed. A woman who is generally more softer; matratv ki bhavna rakhne wali, can stoop down to such levels is unbelievable. My father has a funda-don’t mess with a woman, I think he is correct.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah I know , I was not surprised at the allegations right or wrong I dont know , but I am surprised at my name being brought in because i am so close to my cousin, That indeed is surprising as how why .. come to mind. I think these days the idea os soft and bechari and this or that dont sound right for aNYONE.. who-so-ever can get away with it will try to get away with it.

      yeah dont mess with a woman but then they do this toooo .. 🙂

      Like

  18. Anita Menon says:

    Oh BIkram! I hope everything settles down quickly. I have heard such cases happen and most of the times it is in the favour of the woman. Please take care.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEah it is in favour of the women since the law is biased towards them, if a girl puts a application then it has to be the guy’s side who has done injustice to her.. the in laws did it ..

      Well I am in uk so its fine for me , what can they do. but people out there they need to take care..

      Like

  19. Sapna says:

    OMG! despicable woman!

    Hope things get sorted out soon

    Like

  20. OMG that was pathetic!

    i feel sorry for you Veer ji. it’s still very hard for me to believe that someone can do this and indulge you as well when you are not even in the closed vicinity of the proceedings in her personal life…pathetic !!!

    bad bad bad !

    Like

  21. Smitha says:

    Things people are capable of! Shocking! How on earth do people do things like this.

    You know, every law is misused in India – by both men and women. Although we seem to be more outraged when a woman does it. What we need is an unbiased, strong and professional law enforcement system, where people who slap fake cases on others get prosecuted. Until that happens, people(both men and women) will continue to take advantage of the loopholes in the system.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes , I mean I was shocked myself to get ot know that. I mean I dont even know anyone.
      you are right everyone mis-uses the law , whoever can get away with it WILL get away with it for sure.

      Like

      • Smitha says:

        Exactly – everyone misuses laws – which is why I get a little annoyed when I see a title with the words – ‘By a woman’. Women are human too, right? Just being a woman does not make somebody great or holy, does it? Just as a man is liable to abuse laws, so are women. Why should the focus be on the fact that it was done by a woman?

        What we need is efficient law enforcement so that NO ONE misuses law. The gender of the offender should not make any difference. If people knew that they would suffer the consequences of a fake complaint or perjury – people would not dare. Unfortunately, people get away with murder – just because they have the ‘power’ 😦 I hope it all gets resolved.

        Like

        • Bikram says:

          The reason I had that in title because I was at some space told how bad I am I dont treat women right, I mean I been blogging for ages never had thissaid to me. I am sure people who regularly visit me or have met me or talked to me know me.

          So the title was for those good ladies who thought tje way. I have mentioned in the post to asking them. The title is right in my context for I domt even know the name of this girl else I would have put her name.

          I am sorry if you felt bad that was mot the intention especially towards the ones whome I visit and who visit me.

          Like

  22. Cynosure says:

    There have been a lot of cases which obviously makes it clear that the girl is not beaten….but somehow these ladies take advantage of people mentality here that women can never be wrong in such cases…and that pisses off… x-(
    and I can’t believe this has happened to u too…hope everything gets settle down…good luck… 🙂

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I hope so too all gets settled , but its the audacity of the girl to treat people like that, once she gets a divorce here she will probably get married soon again as sympathy is with her what about the boy’s family I bet everyone around therir think that the allegations are true .. who is going to think about that.

      Like

  23. sm says:

    read it.
    May be to get the divorce she said that.
    May be to get money from boys family she said so
    In such situation many people try to make money.
    you can make the xerox certified copies of passport and sent it to him in a court he can prove that girl is lying as passport will prove you were in UK that time.

    The case is very weak, tell him to file application to quash the FIR in the court.
    with your documents it will be proved easily that you were in London and the girl is lying.

    Do not visit India do what ever you want to do using webcam or Legal papers.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      SM I understand what you are saying but what is this world coming to , I bet if she tells her sob story people will still go on OH how a woman is being treated. Yes I have sent my documents, but thats not how things should be. The police themself should quash it when they have investigated going ot my house enquiring about me knowing where i am and what JOB i do.

      the case is weak or what ever the quesiton is the parents and my cousin and all spent a night in a CELL, they have a police case against them, which remains on record for at least 5 -6 years, That is not right.

      If it was uk then they would never be able to get a job etc as the record will follow them ..

      Like

      • sm says:

        good.
        Yes i can understand what you are saying, but this is how everything works in India and you know it everyone is afraid to talk about it in India.

        Like

  24. Dear Bikram,

    Very sad and infuriating to hear about this problem dragging your name without reason. Yes, I agree when you say that law anywhere in the world is exploited whenever it can be, irrespective of the doer being a male or a female. Today, we cannot cross our hearts and say, “Oh! Yeah. The woman is always right.”
    Nobody, yes nobody can say that they own morality, law or the right to being right.

    I hope and pray this thing gets sorted out for you as soon as possible.

    My best wishes to you.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      so am i , so am i .. I hope so too that things get sorted and just because the boy is the brother in law of my cousin, and me and my cousin are close doesnot mean anyone can use my name for anything …

      Thank you shail …

      Like

  25. alka says:

    i completely agree with u men and women both tend to use law to their advantage i have another example,after 25yrs of marriage my friends wife filed for divorce,she is living in her husbands house which is not in her name and demanding in court that the house which is somewhere worth 12cr be given to her apart from cash 5cr and a monthly allowance of 80k,has filed accusations of violence,rape,drug addiction,etc against her husband and has had him arrested a coupla times also had him bashed up by goons as she has them sitting in the house where she is rying to maaro kabza..2nd eg my ex husband who filed charges of violence,and bad character against e he accused me of tying up him his mother and father and bashing them when i filed for divorce as he was having an affair.
    whatever taunts u may recieve but i completely agree with u on this post

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      GOD.. this is the situation of our law .. anyone who can get away with it WILL get away with it.
      gone are the day of Guitly when proven .. now its guilty till proven otherwise … which is shame.

      sad to hear about both the examples , real sad I wonder if the ngo’s or people who go on about how women are treated badly will do something about this case and ask the women who has done this to her husband to stop harassing what more does she need ..

      law is so biased ..

      and accusation towards you GOD.. maybe you shud do it now and DO beat him up …

      Like

  26. Swaram says:

    Ridiculous. I hope the guilty are punished for doing this to so many of you!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Lets see what happens .. I have nothing to do with it all, its their personal problem and upto them how they solve it.. I dont evne know the details .. os i cant take side with anyone .. I am just angry at whay my name ..

      Like

  27. Rek says:

    So so true, in fact when my inlaws dragged their feet on my divorce from their suffering from “personality disorders” son, I was advised to use criminal charges against my ex since he has physically abused a couple of times not to mention the 6 years of financial, mental and emotional abuse by the three of them….thankfully nothing more than a hard shove or a slap, but i didn’t follow that logic, have a conscience that prevents me.
    While i was lucky my jewellery was in a locker in my name…i was given a pittance of alimony for ruining my entire life.
    It runs both ways, the prob is a few women like them and their lawyers make it twice as difficult for people like me to find justice.

    May be its another Bikram Mann, a common name isn’t it? trying to cheer you up.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      personality disorder MY FOOT…

      these days not many have a conscience as money has become a big DEAL.. an for money they will do anything.

      These days i feel whoever can get away will do it be it a man or woman.. Jiski chalti hai woh chala leta hai.. and these days law is more on women’s side so they do it … rule of the land i guess ..

      Another bikram well i am the olny bikram who my cousin knows .. and so his brother in law also know me only .. 🙂 THank you so much for trying though.. I am fine though .. I have not done anything wrong so I am least bothered…

      Like

  28. R-A-J says:

    I think this particular law, necessary one I might add, is being misused because it offers tremendous scope to be misused.

    If I remember correctly, this particular law is one where the wife can complain dowry harassment against her hubby and in laws and it automatically becomes a criminal case against the hubby n his parents. In addition, it is up to the hubby n parents to prove themselves innocent (that too, when u’re usually inside jail).. and the biggest loop here is that if they have been later proved innocent and the wife’s case deemed false, there is no mechanism to punish the wife for making such a grievous false case against innocents… hence making this law extremely susceptible to misuse by women.

    I think this law needs to be sharpened by punishing the wife if it has been proved that she made a false claim… I think that way, this law would be used for the noble reason it was made for the first place n not misused….

    Great that u brought this up, Bikram 🙂

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes it is being misused by anyone who can get away.

      This is what is wrong Guitly till proven otherwise WHEREAS the law is GUILTY only IF proven.. Dont know why law forgets that.

      YEah i agree with you no mechanism to punish if false accusations are made, maybe thats the change that is required .. But then in india that will again be used for something else..

      Law needs a overhaul basically .. in this case how the hell are they going to prove I was there when I dont even live there.. is worth looking forward to …

      Thank you R-A-J 🙂

      Like

  29. Tanishka says:

    It is shameful but some women do take undue advantage and try exploiting the laws which are actually meant for just protecting us…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Tan it is like that, makes me mad and sick now and ANGRYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. I dont know why we blame the police or law when we ourself dont think twice of using it for our benefit ..

      Like

  30. Ashwini C N says:

    What is happening now is, The Law which was used to protect women is now being used by women to gain sympathy amidst false allegations. Such cases are coming to the light these days. In fact there are many groups which comes to the rescue of such affected men, upon whom false allegations have been made. In a way, the parents of these women should also be blamed, coz only with their support they move to the court.
    Really sad to see your name dragged for something you could not be even remotely associated with, in the first place.
    Pathetic!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      yes true what you say. if the woman is not clever the nthe man uses the same law tooo ..
      everyone needs t obe blamed for this parents and even the lawyers who are supposed to give GOOD advice not how to loot the other party ADVICE ..

      Like

  31. i4deepsdp says:

    no wonder revenge can be a sweet avenge for some…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      yepp but at what cost.. maybe i shud think of revenge myself tooo and seriously go to india and give her a beating os she knows how it feels to be beaten.

      How can it be sweet when the people did nothing ot her in the first place or maybe it will be sweet revenge if the boys side got together to do something for their revenge …

      Like

  32. Vyankatesh says:

    My My… This is disappointing 😦 Be safe

    Like

  33. This is really herrendous, marriage for some people has no value or respect for one another.

    I think someone is pulling her strings here. She needed a grounds for divorce as had chosen the most common grounds and one that’s probably believable.

    She needs to save face amongst her own family and relatives so is making out she was mistreated.

    Someone has obviously stuck your details in knowing you are abroad so you can’t be questioned. Also perhaps to hassle your family. I say give her the divorce she wants and good riddance to bad rubbish.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      No it does not.

      well yeah but to falsely implicate is wrong my cousin’s brother in law and in-law family are willing to give divorce i mean who would want to patch up after all this, it’s the girls side who are delaying everything … they just want more money I think ..

      well my family is not in india , just a couple of caretakers so what they going to get out of them I dont know..

      Like

  34. shail says:

    This definitely was not right. And I hope the truth comes out and those who took advantage through lies get their share of punishment.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      haanji i know , i am just wondering to hear what happened at the next hearing which i am told is on 20th march , to see what is the result of investigations done.. would love to see what happens.

      how they going to prove i was in india at that time ..

      Like

  35. Having the rights doesn’t mean one takes advantage of it without any rhyme or reason. This is a terrible thing to do. If divorce is what the girl’s family wants, why not simply go for it ! Why pull everyone into a bitter situation!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEpp totally agreee with you .. same question i asked but got no reply.. the only thing is money i guess the ywant more as damage or whatever it is called …

      Like

  36. Yuvika says:

    that is the sad state of affairs – laws are open to misuse … and the actual people who need to use it, dont get the chance. I am sorry to hear this.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      They never get to use it , there are still hundreds thousands of women who are genuinly beaten up, thrown out of the houses, treated badly and law does nothing forthem .. but here is a case where it all helps one person who is but lieing about everything…

      Like

  37. This is disgusting. It seems we all have seen a few cases like this. One has been in my own acquaintance too and have seen one such case with my next door neighbor once. Laws can be misused by the one who can manipulate well. SAD.
    But we have seen justice prevailing too…there should be some fine or punishment if such people are found to be manipulative..

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      well if we go by the comments written everyone seems to be having a problem with this law , obviously it is not working as it shud be ..

      LOOKING forward to the punishment for this manipulation OR it would be very interesting to see HOW I beat this girl from thousands of miles …

      Like

  38. keerthana says:

    I think then gender is irrelevant here..the person is crazy thats all!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEs totally accept it gender is irrelevant otherwise .. but not in this case .. as i dont even know the woman and harassment came just because she used the law which is supposedly to be used for a women’s perspective.

      here she has used it to manipulate things .. and i have given my reason for the title above.. let me cut paste it .. 🙂

      “The reason I had that in title because I was at some space told how bad I am I dont treat women right, I mean I been blogging for ages never had this said to me. I am sure people who regularly visit me or have met me or talked to me know me.

      So the title was for those good ladies who thought that way. I have mentioned in the post too asking them. The title is right in my context for I dont even know the name of this girl else I would have put her name. ”

      and

      “Moreover as i have written above all i hear is the womans right this and that, those rights are to bring woman at par with men, but if we seriously look at it, these rights are only it seems to be used by the educated- rich and well off ladies .. the one’s for which these rights are made , the ones for which the law is made , they are still being treated bad .. I mean so much population is under poverty line do we seriously think these laws are actually helping the women there .. I doubt it .”

      Like

  39. Deboshree says:

    I am shocked Bikram! But I agree with you.Some people know best how to twist and turn laws around to their own advantage. You be good. 🙂

    Like

  40. Puja says:

    I agree Bikram.. the law does get misused at times. My own MIL was indicated in a false case of harassment.. My sweet and soft MIL who might have never hurt a single soul through words/hand went through a traumatic phase all thanks to this cunning relative who felt it was convenient to strike where it hurts most..

    Like

  41. This happens a lot Bikram. My friend’s sister-in-law is so clever, she misused the law only to blackmail them to get the house in Panchkula registered in her name. I have heard many such cases….Sorry to what happened to you. People do a lot worse to make up a strong case…:(

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Good job I wrote this article I have seen and heard so many examples now , it is a sad situation that the law that is made to safeguard is being taken for a ride is being used for wrong means.

      A house in panchkula wow.. I had tough time getting my own house myself FOR myself when my dad passed away and here a lady got it free .. brilliant

      Like

  42. rite2pooja says:

    This is crazy, worse than anyone could dream of, especially cause even the girls parents are involved. And why involve innocent people? I’m hope you can prove that you were not even in India when the said things happened. It’s terrible that there are parents out there who can make life so dirty by supporting their daughters in doing such horrible crimes. I think we need a stronger law against people who use the existing laws to their undue advantages, be it men or women.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I dont know who all are involved , so i wont want to make any guesses. Well I hope the name is cleared as how the hell will they prove that i am involved or if i was even their in the country at that time .. THANK god i am in UK i said when i heard this , If i was in india they would have probably arrested me and put me in a cell for a night at least as they did with everyone else ..

      I am jsut thinking what will the girl do once this is over , who would want to have a relation with such a family …

      yes stronger laws and quicker decisions .. it takes so long thats why people can misuse it so much.. it shud be like in her once a case starts it goes to the end .. none of these date systems …

      Like

  43. Bhavia says:

    OMG!!
    This is terrible..
    by the way don;t come back to India..People are crazy here(you know it better 😉 )

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I know.
      not coming ot india that is not possible , the first oppurtunity i get , I will come, such things wont keep me from coming 🙂

      I know people are cunning more than crazy .. but then I have learnt a few tricks myself now he he he he

      Like

  44. OMG! Thats just so horrible! Sounds like she just wanted soem names given to prove her point and she gave yours – but why? When you werent even around?

    Sad, when we are talking of women rights and all – these things also happen to prove how pathetic the current state of law is… 😦

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I have no idea , WHY. maybe she knows me from a past life .. 🙂

      the problem is these things happen in Higher number .. that is what is worrying and not just by women but by everyone ..

      the women who actually need help of this law are seldom given help.

      Like

  45. Ashwathy says:

    I am baffled at how they got ur details…and more importantly WHY so !! You don’t even know her, let alone attending her marriage and even talking to her. Abusing toh door ki baat hai !! 😐

    I guess for every genuine case, there are also likely to be cases where the law is mishandled. 😦 It’s truly unfortunate they those to involve you in that mess…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I am such a heart-throb and handsome I guess thats one reason .. or maybe she knows me from my past life .. Of you know i said my gf ran away with my best friend .. she might be the GF of my best friend 🙂 he he he he

      I know abusing doooooor ki baat hai.. its a distance of 4000 MILES … my arms are not that long… 🙂

      I dont know the answer to that why … well I can assure you for ONE genuine case there are hundreds such cases .. that is what is more disturbing …

      Like

      • Ashwathy says:

        Just because you are a heart-throb doesn’t mean she should try to malign you! 😀 😀 I bet it’s coz she could not get to marry you instead!! :mrgreen:

        Like

        • Bikram says:

          yessssssssssss.. I knew i was missing a point there and I trust my lovely friends to point it out to me ..

          Thank you so much now i know the real motive.. insted of the one she was married to she wanted me .. he he he he .. I hope she does not read this post and uses this as proof now 🙂 oooops

          Like

  46. Hi, hopped over from IHM’s .
    The case you talk about is disgusting. It is true that laws get abused all the time in India and the domestic violence/dowry laws have of late been in the news for being abused the most. I know someone who went through something very similar–the DIL didn’t get along with the husband and left, nothing wrong with that but she also slapped obviously false domestic violence charges on the husband and the in-laws. Our lawmakers would do well to try and plug some of the loopholes in the law.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hi Welcome here to his blog , thank you so much for vistiing and taking time reading this. Now keep hopping when you can 🙂 Thank you.

      this is a the easiest law as it is very hard to prove anything , how can it be proved that a woman was NOT beaten or there was NO dowry taken .. it is hard to prove , and since most of the time it is beleived that the girls side have been wronged they dont have to prove to much, just a accusation and it come on to the boy’s side to prove otherwise.

      Moreover lawyers are very witty these days ..

      The first thing a lawyer tells a girl is accuse this on to the in-laws .. simple …

      So not just the law makers but the law upholders also need to wake up and start doing justice to their profession, especially if they are getting paid for it …

      Like

  47. A.B.N.M says:

    Bikram, Tun fikar kyun karda hain.. aseeen haige haan ithe. Chinta not.
    If you want to come to india , You come Veer , Lets us see who asks you anything about this case or any other case.

    Yaaraa senty na ho. Till we are alive no one dare look at you, Baaki das Main javaan if “S” needs help…

    You want to come to india , YOU COME.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      PAAAJI A.B.N.M YES TRUE , I am fine yaraaaa mainu ki chinta hain, when you guys are there..
      and any other case hainnn what you trying to say .. I am a good man now .. no cases .. College is overrrrrr 🙂

      I know I know I will come soon such things are not going to keep me away , you should know better he he he he he 🙂

      and “S” is fine , he was jsut a bit shaken thats all, i talked to him , give him a call if you can.. bichara apne in laws de pangiyaan ch fas gaya .. they say na saari duniya ek taraf JORU KA BHAI EK TARAF 🙂 ha ha ha ha

      and How cum you read this post , i hardly find any of you lot reading what i write

      and oyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAPPY HOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

      Like

  48. Ria says:

    Omg! This is utterly stupid…how did they get ur name…I think they have just randomly mentioned all the people they could think of from the boy’s side. Really weird, such thinks happen too! Sigh 😦 Hope u don’t get into any unnecessary trouble.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I know .. but I am not even from the boy’s side .. I am a cousin of the boy’s Brother-in-law .. a bit far fetched relation that .. I have no idea how they managed to get the details ..

      Like

  49. Sakhi says:

    Well, you know what I wasn’t surprised at all when I read that they used your name in FIR!!! And this is not an isolated incidence where the girl’s family has defamed the boy’s family and got away with it due to our laws… Laws are made to make people safe but somehow our Indian judiciary works in such a way that it will help the stronger of the lot and not the oppressed!!!

    I hope things get sorted out!!

    Take care!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I would not have been surprised if i had known the family .

      yeah law is made to protect not to use for benefit.. I hope this changes ..

      Thank you Sakhi.. lets see how and when it gets sorted.

      Like

  50. momofrs says:

    This is rotten Bikram!! Blatant misuse of the DVA !
    By the way, when the cops found out that you were not really a part of the girl’s fabricated story, did they not suspect her of other untruths??
    I know of her story where a girl obtained divorce after 5years of marriage claiming that her husband was impotent. The guy remarried and promptly sired two kids 😀 . Obviously, the girl is a laughing stock in her social circles 😀
    Hope things calm down for you and your cousin’s brother in law. This must be a harrowing time for their family !

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hi, well I am yet to find out what happened or whenever their is next court hearing things will come out Hopefully, I guess they will find out if its a lie or truth soon, but then who ever gives a damn about truth or something in our nation.

      the story you have told is sure silly thing done by the girl.. I am not much involved in all this so i dont have all the details I am as amazed as everyone when I found people spent a day in cell and then someone came to our house to inquire about me .. hopefully the police will do the right thing but then in our nation right depends how much bribe has been given and by who …

      Like

  51. Life Begins says:

    This didn’t come as surprise to me. Know some close friends who have gone through same. This is pure misuse of our one sided laws. And worst is women using it to their advantage so openly now. Any problem in marriage and plop come the standard allegations – dowry, beating bla bla bla and police takes it as such deep truth that they dont even bother to enquire a bit before arresting the boy and his family. Shame…what a shame.
    And I agree…if one wants divorce – sign the docs and get done with it – why all this drama.

    Hope you dont get anymore dragged in it. And hope all gets sorted for your cousin pretty soon.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      It is one sided law and that why it makes me mad sometimes hearing people go on and on about how women are this and that .. half of them dont even know what they are talking about. Yes women are treated badly , yes women need to be brought to PAR .. but which women.. the ones who live a good life in cities and one who have no qualms or anything or the ones who ACTUALLY need it back in those remote places .. inspite of all these marches protests and what not THAT woman doesnot even know such protest is going on… Sadly.

      it is sad we in our race to do something dont see all this happening..

      I hope so too Thank you so much.

      Like

  52. manchitra says:

    This is quite appalling..really shocking it must have been for you. How did your name get dragged?..Why police haven’t investigated this properly?
    It has been sometime I haven’t visited any blog but do not want to go without leaving a comment. Very sad indeed. God bless you Bikram..

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I have no idea , thats what is confusing to me too.. not the WHY but the HOW is more important ..
      Police are probably looking for some money I am guessing , I dont know ..

      thank you so much for the wishes 🙂

      Like

  53. if u go through internet u ll find numerous false 498A cases. and there r families suffering because they did not have money to fight it out in the court.

    Like

  54. Nidaa says:

    Hi Bikram… Bhavia n IHM’s blog directed me here
    its truly despicable and pathetic at the same time… are you sure there z no other Bikram in your family?
    I can imagine your anguish… but there r good women and bad women… its as simple as that… women are just as capable of scheming n even committing more horrendous crimes than this… yes feminists like me are all for laws that protect women… we never speak for those women who abuse d law…
    Dowry prohibition Act Protection against domestic violence etc etc , we need all of these and more… downtrodden continues to be so and smart people misuse it for what joy i dont know bcz whatever they put the guys family through, even they are going thru it (court ka chakkar and all)
    And betw, i think d police might be bribed. C’mon any1 with working brain cell can inquire about an NRI and turn the case… you beating her from another continent is painfully absurd!!!

    I really hope you’l be able to clear this mess

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hi.. Thank you so much for visting this place .. Well it has the name and address, so its the same Bikram for sure and my surname is Mann while they are Sidhu’s , I totally understand what you are saying .. their are good and bad in every sphere, and those who can get away with it will always try to get away with everything. The law has been made for the protection of women I know , I am just ranting over how it is being used , I dont have any issues with anything else .. I totally agree that ilaw is made for the upliftment of women and surly it should be , I have seen so many women in our village treated badly and they deserve the right to question it and stand up against it ..

      All humans are equal irrespective of color – creed – religion – gender .. And in this case also its a chance to make some quick buck thats all it is about .

      I hope the investigations done will prove what it is for sure the next hearing is 20th march so lets seee… and yeah i hope it clears off lot of things ..

      I can understand my cousin being roped in the accusation but then putting my name is a bit far fetched .. I mean I am just a cousin of this girls- brother-in-law… we are not even relative in any way ..

      But I think the law needs to be a bit stronger and make sure only those who are genuinly tortured or abused or whatever are helped and people like these are furthut tried for allegations.

      Thank you once again for taking time reading and commenting .. Do keep visiting I rant a lot he he he 🙂

      Like

  55. Jyoti Mishra says:

    thatz how laws in our country are twisted and used for personal benefits… ppl get so much motivated to get what they want that they loose the track of morality and are ready to cross the line at any cost.

    Police cases are the best examples to witness how facts and figures are doctored in order to benefit a particular party… and I’m pretty sure the pretty brain behind all this scheme of adding your name is either of a lawyer or a policeman… coz they r the ones who are good at collecting facts and using it.

    Its really pathetic to see that laws which are made with sole purpose to benefit the person in need are being exploited like this.
    totally agree wid u that “not everyone is same”
    there exists women too who are as cunning as men are… tragic but true !!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I know what you are saying. When my dad passed away I saw a lot of this happen in front of my eyes , for genuine work , what was righfully mine and NO ONE IS Competing against it , Yet demands were made to get it done such is how things work in our great nation.

      I too think its the lawyer who is telling her all this how to make the most money..

      Like

  56. So sad to read that this is happening to you, Bikram! And also sad to know that women would take the risk of lying without thinking that if she cries wolf in vain, other women might be taken as liars when they are saying the truth and need to use the law… I hope all of it gets solved pronto!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      yeah i know crying wolf doesnot pay always .. and one day it will come for sure and no one will hear …
      this is what is already happening the moment a woman say she was beaten or abused etc etc the first reaction is she is lieing , she is after money ..

      Welcome here , thank you for visiting do keep coming back 🙂

      Like

  57. Shumaila says:

    About a week back I was watching this news piece on Nisha- the person who fought against dowry and how it all might have been a lie because she just did not want to get married. Its sad that some people stoop to such a low level to get a case in their favour. Sad that you had to be dragged into! Hope the police have some sense and look into all factual evidence and not side the girl blindly.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah I saw that news and I was in india when she did that, everyone was so impressed anf saw it as a change lot of bloggers wrote about it and tons favoured ..

      But the result of court is astonishing lots of questions come up it looks it was all a ploy or drama by the girl… Dont know what to beleive the boys family was interviewed and they sound genuine tooo..

      I hope the police and people whp sided the girl are punished if she is wrong…

      Like

  58. Comfy says:

    In India when such allegations are made ‘You are guilty unless proven otherwise’ and not the other way around. Sorry you got dragged in to all this.

    Like

  59. AT says:

    I’m sorry that you were dragged into this…
    some people misuse the law…
    I just don’t understand why not take divorce and move on…why these false allegations..guess she wants money….
    police should investigate properly and not just believe the stories or person who greased their palms….
    she is making a fool out of herself as her lies would be caught…. I’m sorry that you were falsely accused…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      haanji.. exactly my thought , I mean sign the document and get on with it .. start a fresh life .. but money is a big factor I guess and also the people who supposedly are the well wishers they always have a new theory especially when they are suggesting it to someone else , they will never suggest the same idea to their own daughter or son.. its always for the others …

      she has alreayd made a fool of herself as far as i am concerned ..

      Thank you AT 🙂

      Like

  60. Pixie says:

    So sorry that you have been dragged into this mess!! i hope things sort out soon…
    its sad to see women misusing the law that is there to actually protect them.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I know , one of those things .. thank god my family is not in india else they would also have been involved and all …

      not just woman Pixie everyone misuses it , those who can get away with it will try to do so always

      Like

  61. R's Mom says:

    OMG!! I just believe it rey…I mean how the hell were you even involved in the whole thing!! what nonsense!

    I hope things get sorted out soon!

    Like

  62. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been dragged in to this…I have heard about cases like this before. It’s rather sad when people misuse these laws…after a time no one takes the genuine complaint seriously and paints everything with the same brush. Have you sought legal advice?

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thats what is happening now , women who actually need help and are genuine dont get justice, I mean how many women have you heard who got justice , who are living in poor places or in the interiors of our nation.. and its funny most of such incidents where law is taken for a ride happen in the so called educated society, where supposedly all are intelling and well educated 🙂 something ot think about.

      Yes I have had legal advice, sent the relevant documents that were asked so lets see.

      Like

  63. sumitra says:

    Huh, this is really some messed up stuff! I seriously don’t understand such people.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      🙂 I know .. people are funny the way they behave in different situations ..

      Welcome to this blog thank you for visiting do keep coming 🙂 I dont always rant he he he

      Like

  64. This is crazy stuff. I have heard similar situation from different people. One things springs to my mind is ‘who will marry this girl now?’ considering dragging her own respect and respect of her family through dirt – no other family willingly will want to engage with this family every again.

    As for getting you involved – this just goes to show the real intentions of these people. They have no respect for themselves and they probably suffer in the morals department too.

    All I can say mate is that I hope you name and those involved get cleared.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      We in india do beleive in CRAZY STUFF 🙂 exactly aftr all this that has happened and If the court gives the sentence AGAINST the woman what will she do , as you said who will want to marry into a family who does such things to others. The problem we have in india is that we dont think of all that, its the immediate benefit that we are more interested in always. and here its just to probably take more money in alimony or something like that probably.

      I hope so they do at the earliest .. hopefully mine should at the next hearing with the documents and stuff that i have sent

      Like

  65. subhorup says:

    I have a slightly different take on this, having been at the receiving end of this, along with my parents (academicians in their 80s who were accused of violence, and threatening to pour acid on my ex-wife’s face). At the root of this is the lawyer who advises the person to file a false accusation. In the desperate situation that women find themselves in when looking at a divorce, they are often incapable of reflecting on the consequences of their actions. It is the lawyers who convince them to take such action. It is not that lawyers are fools to not know the truth. It is also unlikely that a woman who has been in an amicable relationship for some time will turn around and spin a web of lies (though it cannot be ruled out). As a result all relationships break down in the sea of bitterness and vindictiveness that follows such a step. I hope you get out of this mess fast. I found a lot of support from an organization called Save Indian Families, you can google it. But the first step you have to take is an internal one, that of letting go of the hate and anger, and replace it with compassion and understanding for the person who has been driven to take such a step and what she might be going through knowing that she has made such false and heinous allegations. Pray for her wisdom. WHile seeking justice might make sense, our legal system is such that going through it itself is a punishment. Settle as early as you can. TYpically the lawyers will be very willing to respond to initiatives to negotiate, since that is really what they are after. Wish you all the best and may you heal from the hurt at the earliest. Justice is not for us to deliver, it gets taken care of at other levels that we might not have access to or understanding of at all times.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I totally agree with you , and I do feel that lawyers are more interested in the money they want to earn rather then upholding the law, its the same as people joining the police .. its not to uphold the law its because they want to earn lots of money.

      But then the problem I have here is I am not involved , its like I name YOU in some problem jsut because I know your name .. how can that be justified.
      If the lawyer is helping her then he has made a big DENT in the case as how the hell is he going ot prove that I was involved .. When I am not in the country , I dont know the woman, I have never met her or even been in the vicinity where she was , that would be interesting to know.

      I have just sent a statement to my cousins, Brother-in-laws Lawyer too as a reply to this accusation, along with other documents so he is going ot have a field day in the next court hearing I HOPE..

      I would seriously look at it with compassion If I had a slight inkling that the side I am on had a minute hand in anything that they have been accused at , the fights or whatever were between the husband and wife .. I am no one to say anything about that .. but the parents and my cousin’s family They are not involved why should they suffer. That cant be forgotten..

      The police talking the way they talked to the person in my house replying their question. My dad or my grand dad also never talked to the caretaker like that , he is a part of family no one has the right to talk to him like that .. I could feel the pain in the voice when i was talking to him and he consoling me and asking me not to come to india .. its sad.

      Whatever the reasons of divorce or anything they have nothing ot do with me , The woman we are talking is educated and intelligent girl.

      Settling anything is not for me as I have said it has nothing ot do with me , all i am interested is how and why my name is dragged in thats all, and whosoever did it will have to reply to it, if not in court then when i come ot india next , simple solution.

      Like

  66. oh god this is horrible!! i can understand your reaction Bikram and it is quite justified
    this is a very very sad state of affairs
    and i cant tell you about the timing of this post
    Sathya’s brother’s wife has done something similar too that’s how i personally know about this misuse of the law & the strange thing is the law always sides with the woman complainant

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much.
      Oh no .. that is bad something like that happening to someone so close .. I hope things settle down that side tooo .. yes law always takes their side for this is made for them .. although what we forget is that it can be the other party too who are in the right …

      Like

  67. Meera says:

    Bikram the provisions in the law are things that everyone takes advantage of. That is the sad part of life. But when we are at the receiving end it certainly feels very unjust! Extremely sorry to hear about these happenings. Cunning people and lawyers who instigate them make life miserable for all

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah i agree with you and i said anyone who can get away with something WILL ALWAYS try to get away with it , I dont mind being on the recieving end If I am also doing the same to someone , but this is a bit far fetched I dont know the family I dont know the girl nothing , even if i knew her or her family i could undersand this takeing place.

      DOnt be sorry 🙂 he he he .. thank you so much for saying that though … I think in this case also its the lawyers who are probably inistigating it all , I have revieved a few emails from some friends who have said that the first time they went to a lawyer how they told them to say this and that in the court just for the sake of it …

      Like

  68. Writerzblock says:

    Now that is quite atrocious. I heard of something very similar from another close friend of mine! Shocking, but apparently, it is becoming common.
    Btw, Bikki, you have been tagged.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I know… It feels that way too .. As you can see from the comments lots and lots of people have heard or seen this happen , yet nothing changes in our nation ..

      TAG yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 🙂 will do it for sure thank you so much

      Like

  69. This is totally unfair and I am so sorry to hear your name came there.

    Like

  70. Rahul says:

    A sad reading 😦

    Like

  71. Jazz says:

    OMG what the hell.. I hope everything is fine for you now Bikram..

    Like

  72. Aasiyah says:

    Wow, this really is a sensitive issue naa. But I think the police are just dumb. I’m really sorry to say that. Let’s just pray that inshaAllah all will be well in the end. No secret will go unveiled.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      It is a sensitive issue for sure. Police too have to do what they have to do when a complaint is made so we cant say they are solely responsible, they doing their job when some idiot gave my know who I dont even know..
      God willing and with all the good wishes of all the readers and everyone things should sort out ..

      Thank you os much and welcome ot this blog .. do keep visiting 🙂

      Like

  73. OMG, am really sorry to read of all this! I’ve been following your comments on several bloggers’ posts and find this really ridiculous to boot.
    I do hope you will be able to resolve the matter, soon enough! And as painlessly as possible!
    Sad but true is the fact that there are always people willing to take advantage of the law and its loopholes here in India (probably never like this, elsewhere!)

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Welcome here to this blog, Thank you.
      Let hope it get resolved soon.

      loopholes are everyhere and those who can get away will get away for sure wherever they are ..

      Thank you for your lovely comment on IHM’s blog and then mentioning me on your article , I am really honoured Thank you so much.

      Like

  74. Ramesh says:

    baapre..so much happening here..i go with SM…a very intelligent blogger..cheers bik..

    Like

  75. Kirtivasan says:

    I guess countries have things which are above law. In US, i think cop killing. In some countries ecological balance. In India women.
    There are cases in India where wife hits husband more than husband hits wife. But one complaint to women’s cell by the lady and the husband is ruined.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      yeah it happens everywhere but the problem is we dont look at it that way, domestic abouse can be against either man-woman.. it just so happens that examples or things that come out in open generally have women being the abused..

      hence all this

      Like

  76. garima says:

    Thats so sad and even scary to know an innocent man being dragged in the matter which is not even related to him.I hope things get sorted out soon and would really wish that woman may be punished in falsely taking your name.

    Like

  77. Varsha says:

    This is sick…hope you get out of the mess soon.

    I have heard and read about divorce lawyers advice people to press such charges to end a marriage. Its disgusting really.

    Like

  78. This is so ridiculous. There should be some law to handle such women.. Hope you aren’t entangled in this anymore..

    Like

  79. Nirvana says:

    This is the saddest thing about any law….. there are millions of women who need the protection of these laws, but then, ten women like the one you have mentioned here is enough to create ironic situations !! I do hope the woman and her family pay for this, and I do hope you get out of this sticky situation soon!

    Like

  80. Farida says:

    Due to the misuse of law for their own advantage by some people, it is tough to make it catch the culprits. Like they say it is good to let 10 criminals go free rather than hanging one innocent person..

    Like

  81. Jzt says:

    Haa..I wonder how u always find urself in such messes…

    Regarding tht girl, i feel she and her family is just behind getting some profit out of this marriage before splitting…bcoz, if it was just a divorce, then as u said, she wud have gone for just getting it…but here, they need smthing more than divorce…

    they might be thinking, u being in UK, might end up giving them cash to erase ur name off the case…

    Anyways, i think u should show your Passport Exit Entry details to the Court and file a petition against them for torturing you mentally and emotionally and giving u distress and depression and tension…

    What say…i am not joking..u shd do tht…for such false allegations…u shd answer them in their own language…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I totally understand what you mean. I have sent the doucments required. lets see what happens. and Yes I have asked my cousin to hire a lawyer and put up a case on them for dragging my name, so that should go through once I am cleared otherwise As mentioned by comfy that in india we are guilty till proven otherwise , so till this clears up I am supposedly guilty, SO first i have to prove i am innocent and then take it to the next level.

      and hey i liked those words oh yes I was depressed , tense and what not ….

      regarding answering them in their own language well they ahve that coming for sure , I am not of the type to let things go… 🙂

      Like

  82. Very sad. Unfortunately in this land of ours laws are made to protect people but certain people take advantage of the situation in connivance with their lawyers and also the Police.

    Like

  83. Jenny says:

    Omigod, this is downright ridicuolous. The girl ofcourse is wrong and has to be blamed, but what the hell is wrong with the police. Very curious and concerned, how are you approaching this situation now?

    Came over from Sujatha’s post.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      hey welcome here , thank you for visiting .. I have hired a lawyer and he will be representing me on 20th when it goes to the court , lets see when that happen’s and after that i plan to put a case against the girls family and the lawyer who has been adivicing them and the police team who went to my house in india (if they try to involve me ), else I feel the police has done therir job they should have gone and enquired ..

      Like

  84. makpossible says:

    This is totally absurd. I wish & hope you come out clean.

    Referring to one of your comments, please go ahead & put a case against them. Do not let them walk out easily. Make them repent.

    Like

  85. How ridiculous….I agree with you cent percent,sometimes women do take advantage of law…but it’s really startling…n must be difficult fr u

    Like

  86. Reema says:

    shocking!! There are women who misuse law to their own advantage and have the upper hand too. hope everything works out!

    p.s. wont your sister-in-law’s brother be your brother in law and brother in law S’s brother?

    Like

  87. Hi there to all, the contents present at this web page are really remarkable for people experience,
    well, keep up the nice work fellows.

    Like

  88. Joann says:

    Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog.
    Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any points or suggestions? Thank you

    Like

    • Well Depends where you ant to start, its very easy .. go to wordpress or blgospot .. create new blog and thats about .. rest is all self explanatory .. I myself am not that goood , one of my friends helped me create this . so i am sorry not much of a help

      Like

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