A thought – Rape-lust-sex – US

Posted: February 13, 2012 in Am I wrong, Experiences, Hurt, Love, My Thoughts.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have been  reading a few posts the last few days, so much wrong is happening in this world. On my post about the 10 month old baby being sodomised, I got a comment from  Kiran  asking ” Isn’t this the same planet where our ancestors lived with, less sickening morale & societal issues?”  to which my I nodded profusely.  It is so sad that we are just not developing as Human’s , rather it is a like Running Downhill, and we will not leave any  stone unturned to show how cruel we have become.

And it’s not just in India this happens its becoming quiet common everywhere else too, Recently there is a case here in UK where a couple Ilyas Ashar and his wife Tallat Ashar from Eccles, Greater Manchester trafficked a deaf girl of the age of 10 into Britain and kept her as a slave for nearly a decade.  During her ordeal living as a servant and slave, she was repeatedly raped as well as beaten and locked in the basement every night.  The basement served has her sleeping place, with no bed just a concrete floor.  Without access to either water or a toilet in the basement, she suffered mentally as well as physically, despite having disability she received no sympathy from her ‘owners’  (I am quoting my friend The British asian blog ).

As you read the article it makes you angry, frustrated, helpless thinking what the hell, how can one human do this to another human.. About 4 weeks ago I had a similar situation, I can’t discuss much on that case, a girl had been smuggled from an eastern european country for prostitution, The look on her face , the way she looked at us questioning eyes, as if asking “WHY ME”,  she did not know much english so it was becoming difficult to understand what she was saying. She would not accept to talk to an interpreter too , she was so afraid.  No documentation , No money, No ID on her, It is moments like this that I feel helpless and then the animal instinct wakes up to pick up a weapon and shoot those who did this to her. (Please don’t ask any questions as I will not be able to reply to any of them ) .. Sorry

Another post by Ria, who I read regularly  tells the same story about how a girl was betrayed by her so-called boy friend, who spiked her drink , taking her to a friend’s place where the girl was raped by friends. Such incidence of drink being spiked are getting very common these days, I wonder who are these people who spike the drinks with the motive of raping a person, If sex is the only reason then there are a lot of places that one can buy sex, whats wrong in that .. rather than spoil someones life , buying sex seems to be fair in comparison to such act of mindless ruthless madness.

The reason why I sat down writing this post is to have a think where is our society going, what are we doing to rectify it , It is becoming more and more complicated to try to imagine the reasons of why is this, PLEASE lets not bring this all man-woman thing into it , I am sure a lot of people are raring to write its all MEN fault.  I am sure there are a lot of reasons that need to be addressed. I know a man is responsible and he is at fault but then what about the same crime done by women.

I say so because a friend of mine was in relation with this girl,  it went on for four years , with all those promises of living life together, making plans , parents agreed to their marriage, suddenly one fine day she wants out and that too when the time they had decided to wait was about to finish in a month of so , when the time had come to tie the knot, Yes the girl might have had her reasons to do so, Yes she has the right to break a relation as and when she wants to, YES to everything anyone is going to ask. BUT did it not matter to her at all..

They had spent 4 years of life together through ups and downs, been sleeping together .. Now don’t you think this is RAPE too ?   Although it was consensual but it was an act performed with all the promises which in the end was a betrayal, a TRUST broken.   I have given this example because as I mentioned it’s not always a MAN who does this to a woman , women too do such acts. If  in this story it was the guy who had said his good-bye and moved on to another girl a lot would have said all men are like that.. Hence me using the word mankind, humans..

How does anyone expect this man to trust anyone anymore.

I have been thinking (which is a laugh I know), where is mankind going to, Trust is one thing that is being questioned all the time , I mean after hearing the above incidents I would not trust anyone, The girl trusted her boyfriend look what he did to her, My friend trusted the girl look what happened,  Trusting a friend who would bring her to UK  for a better life made a girl a prostitute. Trusting an elderly couple made a kid live like a slave and go through such horrific times at a tender age of 10.

Why have we become so trustless ?

Why are we not happy or satisfied with what we have?

Why do we always keep looking for something else ?

Why can’t we keep our LUST in control ?

Why has our HEART BECOME BLACK ?

This reminded me of some beautiful words written by another blogger friend   Sh@s.. I am quoting the line .. I hope you don’t mind, (if you do let me know I will remove it, sorry)

जीने की लत थी हमे
शुक्रिया आपका,
उसे तोड़ने के लिए
I was addicted to life.
Thanks to you,
For de-addicting me.
I don’t know why I am writing this post or what I am trying to say .. I guess its one of those thoughtless posts which I write to waste the time of all the readers who read .. So I am sorry for that.

It’s the lack of sleep I think playing tricks on my mind.

PS:- sorry I have not replied to all you lovely people in the last article Will come to it soon .. just rushed off my feet at the moment. THANK you all for the lovely views on DAAN. :)

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Comments
  1. I personally know a young man who raped a 9 month old baby. This baby was so damaged inside that she will have bags for the rest of her life.

    The truth is, we CAN keep our lusts in control. The source is Jesus Christ. Many may disagree and mock, and that’s their prerogative. But I seen changed lives.

  2. Puja says:

    My sentiments exactly.. if the motive is just sex, they can easily go and buy some. But I think it has got more to do with asserting their power that the abusers find the thrill in. Whatever be the reasoning, it does make them worse than the worst life forms.

    • Bikram says:

      It does playing with someone emotions , with trust with love with everything .. it does make them so bad .. dont know how to change it though or IF we can ever change it tooo

  3. Lust and Sex are an addiction, like money, tobacco and alcohol. More one gets it, even more they want. No doubt the victims suffer but the perpetrators suffer too. These acts are a result of that suffering, inviting more suffering thereupon.

    Destination Infinity

    • Bikram says:

      perpetrators suffer sure but they have had their fun too in that moment of madness and cruelty.. but the victim does not get it at all ..

      Thank you D.I.

  4. Sapna says:

    Sigh! Humans are indeed turning out to be a weirder species more than ever.

    One can buy sex, but most incidents are more than just sex and lust. It is about power! getting what you want, when you want and whoever you want :|

    Regarding slaves, lot of people still live in a colonial mindset where to get service is their right and to serve faithfully without expecting even human-like conditions, the servant’s destiny. If only they could look at them as fellow human beings…

    One would want to believe that human beings are evolved but we still are the same animals who have found different ways of expressing ourselves from time to time.

    • Bikram says:

      so very true Sapna, yeah i know its the power thing thats why my question to these people just buy , will save a lot of trouble for everyone ..

      Yeah but in this case the little girl was brought to uk, then she got this treatment i bet she was some relative and whats worse is the family has been claiming benefit for her all this time from the council yet have not even provided her with anything she ws locked in a cellar and is made to do all the house work … and been raped too YET they say they are not guilty I mean what the hell .. what more do the ywant to do to this girl t osee themselves as guilty…

      no we have not evolved , all we have evolved is to betray others , sing songs of love and then leave them for pastures green..

  5. Thank You for highlighting this issue, as I wrote in my post. Individual’s don’t tend to change their habits. Like they say old habits die hard. However, there is hope and this hope lives in the name of ‘our community’. Being born and bred in the UK, I remember as a child knowing almost everyone in my neighbourhood. There use to be a sense of closeness and belonging to the community. No matter what colour, age or size you were the community was there for everyone. At time, I remember, we use to unit and put things right. The Police where open and happy to engage with the community and regular community meetings ensured all issues facing individuals in the community were discussed and a resolution was sought for.

    Now, I am afraid this community spirit is no longer as it use to be back then. Now, we don’t even know who our neighbours are, are their names, how many people live there. The absence of community engagement is when evil arises and is when such people live large.

    My immediate and short term answer to this growing problem is uniting once again as a community, to identify troubled areas and address them – like we did in the past. Otherwise, the above examples will continue to exist and continue to haunt us, the community will continue to suffer at the satisfaction of the few.

  6. Ria says:

    Precisely what i wanted to say…why rape when u can buy sex if u r that desperate!! It saddens me to think of what will happen in the times to come if this continues….this is to stop!

    • Bikram says:

      YEah I read ur post , I hope you did not mind putting your link at my post. what will happen well more and more of these case for sure .. thats what we are heading towards .. now boys are doing it .. soon females will do too..

      Have you heard of the story in southhall, where one of the guys who has come from india and is suffering had no job etc , was KEPT by a mother – daughter duo for ages and they made her do stuff which i possible cant write here .. I am trying ot get the facts out once i have them will publish them for sure…

  7. The thrust for sex can tempt them to be like this ..i think . But its really sad about the suffered one .Every soul comes to earth to lead a happy life ..may be coz of the situation one can transform into a arrogant ..Really felt bad aft reading the links ..

  8. sakha says:

    Gosh…what have we become?

  9. abichica says:

    OMG!! This is absolutely the truth, the world is becoming horrible, people are becoming animals, justice does not prevail anymore, it is the sad world we live in now and it sickens me every single day.. do check out my other blog that i talk about all these terrible world news.. great wrote, thank you so much for sharing this.. :-)
    http://chicwithwords.wordpress.com/

  10. Punam J R says:

    Well, I got the feeling that the article started with something and went on to something else.. but quite a pertinent thought that is.. for trust betrayed is definitely the common point that binds all the examples that you have quoted.
    In each case, there has been a breach of trust.. who did it, is not important.. what is, is that someone was irreparably destroyed.
    And sadly… that is where mankind is going.. heartless stones and pity less eyes ..
    I like the solution by ‘The British Asian Blog’ at the end of his comment.

    • Bikram says:

      maybe I am that good a writer as you cna see I go with the flow and type what comes to my mind so sometimes it does go haywire …

      it is indeed a breach of trust a rape of trust …
      yeah true we are heading there for sure …

  11. ladynimue says:

    sad post .. such apt hindi lines in the end ..

  12. AT says:

    I recently saw a show on which a girl(now 18) was interviewed among her therapist and adopted mother. It was broadcasted as “girl in the closet”. She was held captive by her own parents in the closet from age 2 to 8. They abused her(emotionally, sexually, physically)….
    I couldn’t imagine a mother and father raping own daughter, how disgusting….
    when she was narrating her story, I cried whole time, thinking about her life…
    she was rescued when a neighbor realized about the existence of this girl….
    10 years later, she is still healing….. But what we have become…. People like her parents need to be stoned to death….

    • Bikram says:

      OH god even parents can be bad .. I know that cause i have seen it with my own eyes recently there was a case here in uk whee the couple battered the child to death … and when there is a drug raid or something can see the parents high and all the drug paraphernalia lying here and there with little children roaming around …

      Sad sad story .. it takes yearsssssssssss to heal

      I totally agree with stoning part

  13. I think most of such people are mentally unstable and dangerous for the society, but instead of jailing them we make excuses for them. Chemical castration is an option if locking up is not acceptable.

    About the woman – I guess some people aren’t suited for committed relationships. In the end maybe your friend would be glad, I hope he is. Living with someone who is half hearted into a relationship can make a person insecure eventually… just not worth the time and effort.

    • Bikram says:

      IHM most but not all, some of them do it just for fun of it .. I totally agree with the chemical castration.. and making it public so everyone knows who they are and what they have done ..

      Well in the case of my friend it was more than that he was used it was all a manipulating game while the girl had an eye for someone else all the time , the promises and all never meant anything thats why i said that is a rape too maynot be physical but emotional for sure ..

      I totally understand that its not worth the time and effort …

  14. I don’t know what we humans are upto…I have read so much in the past so many days that I feel numb.

  15. Dee says:

    The poor girl that was abused as a slave must have gone through munimaginable mental emotional and physical turmoil . i hope that the old couple rot in hell later but first do not get away with a light prison term.I feel very bad that women too act as accomplices.

    Bikram yes your friend musthave lost trust in rships after being left at the last moment.very tough.

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah I hope so too, but then in this world if we see its the bad and the evil who always thrive and livea good life. As I said its a myth that women dont od anything bad .. in this post itslef I have given two examples where women have done wrong..

      it is tough i know

  16. Padmaja says:

    I think the lack of trust in any relationship basically originates from unreasonable expectations that result in disappointments, making the person to look for those expectations somewhere else..I think any unreasonable adult is a result of bad parenting with out any values taught.. so values have to start with the beginning of anyone’s life! Only values and values alone can keep these kinds of atrocities in check.

  17. Sakhi says:

    What a post to read on valentine’s day, a day of LOVE!!!

    sigh… not that i don’t know these things happen but it still makes me sad, frustrated, angry to read it again… to know how humans can behave (can’t call this animal behaviour since i dont think animals can be this bad!!!)

    sigh again!! :( :(

  18. Dew says:

    yeah…that’s when i actually question the existence of God..when I see young children/babies…”who have just been around” going through a disaster…for no reason or fault… :(

  19. Rachna says:

    Yes Bikram, I feel similarly. Where is this world heading to? Can we trust anyone? I was just telling my husband how in college we stayed back till late night watching a play or a movie and then had one boy from the group drop each girl home. Did we ever think that one of them might think otherwise or do something wrong? No. Was it plain luck or were we more lucky. Can girls these days afford to be so naive? Why have simple pleasures gone out of the window and everything is under the shadow of suspicion. I feel so sad…

    • Bikram says:

      SO true SO TRUE.. you know i was saying the same thing, I remember we were to participate in youth festival in delhi .. and there were a couple of parents of girls who rung up my home asking if i was going, for then they will allow there daughters to come with us .. I mean there was trust .. staying late at college practising for different events late into the night… Going for friends weddings t odifferent cities .. No it was not lucky I think in those days people had trust and respect for each other.. and it was sort of taken that all in the group were caring for each other …

      Girls these day well i doubt if they can afford to be so naive. WE do live in a sad time..

  20. Deboshree says:

    Sheesh. I read this today of all days.
    But Bikram, honestly, what you have talked about is very relevant. It is high time that we broaden our perspectives and look out of our blame games.

    • Bikram says:

      Sorrrry sorrry I posted it yesterday .. should have thought and waited for 2 days My bad…

      yeah its time to wake up i guess and then maybe jsut maybe instead of just 14th each day can be a valentines day .. a day of love

  21. Bhagyashree says:

    Its my belief that this is happening because of lack of faith in anything and letting our animal instincts take over. All have this instincts but one should know how to control it. each one of us has sattva guna,raja gunah, tamah guna ie goodness, passion and ignorance qualities and one should always be as much as possible in good mode. How to do that -pray, meditate be positive and be in good sangha ie association. Isn’t a man known by the friends he keeps? See thats why I read ur blog bcoz ur a good person ;P Did I make any sense?
    As for your friend good that she left him in the beginning. better to have a broken heart than a broken home. That is my opinion.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much for those words , made me smile. Me a good person well I dont know about that some will say it otherwise :) I am sure.

      I agreee that lack of faith but then as we have seen in our nation faith is also dwindling.. its being used to do other bad things…

      Yeha i agree with that rather than broken home this is better .. but what i wanted to say was this is also wrong and considered wrong .. and we are seeing more and more of it tooo

  22. Kirtivasan says:

    My answers :-
    Why have we become so trustless ? Why are we not happy or satisfied with what we have? Why do we always keep looking for something else ?
    Laplace (mathematician) said that present moment is everything. If present is like this then how past was. How future will be. So present is what matters.
    But events get added (mathematical constant e) up to give some picture in our brain. This part is not clear to me mathematically. Maybe someone can help !!

    Why can’t we keep our LUST in control ?
    Man is very powerful. His brain well developed. His hands are able. He can control LUST using brain and hands !!

    Why has our HEART BECOME BLACK ?
    I do not know.

    • Bikram says:

      BUt if we look the past was not this bad things are getting worse future looks more bleak what with law taking a back seat …

      yeah he shud use them for sure ..

      • Kirtivasan says:

        I was serious when I answered those questions.
        Indians are frog in well. They do not know what happens outside. Your response makes me relieved that problems outside are more !!

  23. Rahul says:

    Bikram, the senseless acts are becoming more gory and leaves us wondering that humans have stooped below the animals

  24. I

    It’s really a mental issue…. No sane person rapes or abuses anyone. That’s all I’ve got say as so much has already been said.

    • Bikram says:

      Hmmm I get your point . But I am definitely sure that my friends GF was not mental she had planned it perfectly , very clever
      and in the case that RIA has mentioned again it was carefully planned and manipulated .. So again that is not a mental issue …

      We have to accept that people have become very manipulative .. and are clever to the extent they can show they are mentally upset …

  25. Rubina says:

    Man from time memorable was subjecting women to his whims and fancies, she has been treated as an object of pleasure, to satiate their carnal desires, there is an amount of sadism in every human being and this erupts from time to time among the males more than females. The incidents mentioned in the blog indicate to what extent man can stoop to conquer to appease his desires, there is no recourse to this malady unless women are placed on equal footing with men in all fields hope the world will realize this sooner than later and emancipate women and set her unshackled….Rubina

    • Bikram says:

      YEs that is true .. but what do you have to say about the women in the couple who did this to a 10 year old girl .. A woman was involved and also in that household there were other women .. and also on the last episode i mention again a woman is involved in that ..

      so there are a lot of bad people in the world.. and we can keep on arguing who is bad a man or a woman or whatever .. and this is what has been happening instead of finding ways to handle it we start this blame game .. No doubt men have done worse .. I dont think anyone will deny that .

      Lets hope a time comes when both are equal, but that will surly bring a lot of other issues as we have experienced …

  26. Dear Bikram,

    Yours was definitely not a ‘thoughtless post.’ It was a heartfelt, full of emotions and thoughts post. Lord! the world is really gone to dogs!
    And inspite of being a woman, yes, I agree that even though we get to hear many cases where girls, women are sexually victimized, men too are made to go through the grind thanks to some cruel, merciless and evil people.

    It is horrid, whoever does it. Bhagvaan tho maaf nahi karega…..

    • Bikram says:

      Hello Shail. Thank you for saying that .. Sometimes it does feel that way.

      indeed to the dogs it has gone .. I think everyone is at it these days , whosoever can get away with it IS doing it irrespective of gender..

      Bhagvaan well we say god lives in the heart of a human .. so how .. why …

      you know what i mean .. fingers crossed lets see and hope such things dont happen

      • Yes, Bhagvaan does reside in the heart of the human as you said, but what if the heart itself has become just a physical organ like the other. organ…..you know what I mean. Then what? Thab tho bhagvan bhi vahaan vaas nahi kareinge. Vahaan tho sirf vaasna hei vaas eh baas kareiga. What say?

  27. Rubina says:

    There I had mentioned that…” there is an amount of sadism in every human being and this erupts from time to time among the males more than females.” I had emphasized here that women are also sadistic in their behavior too, regarding your last episode I have not read it, as i have recently joined here, I am not a critic but I am a poetess and and author you can visit my website http://www.rubinadcruz.co.cc

    • Bikram says:

      Hello Rubina I guess you have taken an offence to my reply, sorry about that I did not mean to say it that way ..

      You are right everyone is at it , whosoever gets a chance …

      Thank you for visiting and welcome here .. Please dont let this stop you from visitng .. :)

      • Bikram says:

        Hello Again .. I visted your blog , but I am unable to comment on your poems , How can i do that , IF I WERE is a beautiful poem and I wish and hope everyone has a friend like that ..

  28. irfaan says:

    well, I personally feel that as long as our social n moral values in life will keep on falling things are bound to get more n more worse…therefore each n every individual has to work into it then only things can improve a bit, but unfortunately we as an individual only keep pointing our fingers towards others……over all its really sad to go through such happenings rather misshappenings in the society :(

    A meaningful post by you Bikram…… :)

    btw i m back to blog and thanks for the mail, sory i couldn’t respond to it in time…!!!

    • Bikram says:

      Hello Irfaan , good to have you back.
      I totally second that point EACH one of us has to work no second thoughts on that EACH ONE.

      That has been a trademark of us indians point at everyone else but ourself ..

      Thank you Sir….

  29. Writerzblock says:

    Did you say ‘buy sex’? Chee chee.. that’s taboo!! But raping one’s girlfriend.. that can’t be so bad. Afterall she must have worn a skimpy outfit and ‘enticed’ the guys!!

    Shame on people who indulge in such acts.

    • Bikram says:

      I know … I am sure she was dressed to get raped … dont know why the BF had to use the drink tooo ..

      God knows what is going on

      shame is not enough they need to be fed to hungry pigs …..

  30. Akriti Bahal says:

    I completely resonate with what Ria commented about. Just the exact feelings.

    A thought provoking post, I must say!

  31. Rubina says:

    Dear Bikram,

    I am not angry with you, I am angry with this world which has turned women into a plaything, I am not denying that women are not bad, there are a few who would do anything to be on top, but if you ask me a females libido is lesser than that of a males, hence the sexual offences committed are more by men rather than women in general…yes this world has gone from bad to worst as centuries went by…according to Bible it all started from Sodom and Gomorrah the twin cities formed in the promised land….before Christ

  32. Meera says:

    We’re living in a world where humans demand instant gratification and it’s fast becoming a “Me first” culture. What’s in it for me? Why should I wait? Why can’t you make me happy? We have waylaid compassion, grace and empathy. Civilizations can be compared to kids. You are born and cautious about everything because you’re still learning to deal with new things. In your teens you are reckless and uncaring. Wisdom comes with age. Our civilization needs to age to remember all the lessons it learnt as a child. Right now we are the reckless teen with alcohol on its his/her breath and the steering wheel of a fast car in its hands.

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah you are so right , its all about me me me me me ..
      hmm civilization needs to age but mythically we are the oldest civilization how long do we want , lets hope that we get out of the teens the earliest then …

  33. This is so disgusting and even scary! Probably we’re on the verge of completely losing humanity among mankind.

  34. these r some gruesome stories and u do feel helpless when u hear them. the root cause is twisted psyche.

  35. Varsha says:

    Yes you are right…the people of our civilization are anything but civilized. I wonder so many times where are we all heading?

  36. Deeps says:

    I can so hear and feel that frustration, anger, rage, in your words, Bik for this is indeed a sorry situation of our hopeless society :(. And OMG i can even bear to think about the trauma the poor girl who was enslaved and raped by her ‘owners’, must have gone through. Such people are a shame to the very mankind!

  37. Novroz says:

    This is a very very thoughtful post Bik.

    I’d like to share another story here. It happened last month. A woman who isn’t young anymore was on an angkot (a kind of public transportation), she was rapped by 3 or 4 males in that angkot.
    Because of that, I no longer want to go home from work over 7 pm.

    I wish the world could be much saver than we have now

  38. harman says:

    VERY SAD!pathetic ..ugly minds ..killers..should be killed
    I hate these people who molest gurls for their own urge ..BASTARDS of all kinds..freakin idiots..
    its sad..to hear all that.
    about gurls being doin that ..its bad too But remember one thing wht goes around comes back to you…GURLS be nice to bf s Cuz their r no end to trials but to diseases ..be healthy n clean.
    so be nice and try to keep a clear conscience thats our part n upbringing.

    • Bikram says:

      yeah my feeling but then i say the same t oall those who use other humans, man-woman whoever they are ..

      whst goes around comes around hope they get it then ..

      Thanks harman

  39. sheokhanda says:

    I must say well thought out stuff.. same things plague me…. I mean what sort of society are we creating….. what sort of world we want for our daughters and sisters….

    Trust without doubt is the word which has taken beating in these years….

    and this culture which came after 2 wave feminist movement has also to be blamed…. as it has created many female chauvinistic pigs who are equally competitive in all terms as men who rape women…

    I recommend you to read female chauvinistic pigs by Ariel Levy.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_Chauvinist_Pigs

    everything is about SEX and we are left with no romance, no honor and certainly chivalry is dead or extinct in many societies and in some fighting a losing battle.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much for saying this. I will go and check this post you have sent the link to. yeah i do second your thought on that everything is about SEX these days ..

  40. Meera says:

    Bikram I would like to respond to your question as to why people are becoming so terrible these days. Well, I can only say that human beings have always been like this. What is different now is that with media we are able to get more information about such things happening. We are also becoming more aware of injustice. Imagine until about hundred years ago in the US slavery was condoned. Yes, today the the news is filled with is awful incidents such as these but today there is also greater reaction to such crimes- infact what constitutes a crime or injustice or violation of human rights change over the years.

    • Bikram says:

      YEah what you say is right but at least in those days I think people got togethered and cared more nowadays that is gone away too. no one is interested if someone is raping a person in front of them , they try to hide their face and walk away. I dont think there is a reaction thats the problem. We dont care i think

  41. Reema says:

    wow! your blog is on a roll..so many comments! I think its time Mother Nature would hit the reset button. Humans have gone totally out of control and their purpose.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you for Taking so much time in reading all the articles this year , and also commentingon all of them.

      Yeah mother natures does need ot press the button soon else we will probably not give it a chance to do that toooo

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