Archive for June, 2011

BlogJunta - An ode to the Blogosphere

Over the last few weeks and months I have read a lot on the topic, it has ranged from people saying Men are the worst thing ever , how women will be happy without men . Men calling how women behave etc etc etc.. I have gone and put my views on a few of the blogs where the articles have written the replies to some have been funny and made me smile.

So let’s be frank and throw away all the hesitations we have, Slut walk is/was organised by people to let other people know that it’s not the women who invite men to rape them by the way they dress up ,  That is what I think is the MAIN point although there are a billion branches to it which my small mind cant cope with.

I am writing this post to put my views on all this Walks , holding discussions , meetings etc as far as I am concerned Dont help there are reasons behind that, Has a walk or a demonstration ever helped anyone and I mean that in context to OUR country INDIA, not referring to any other nation because I don’t believe taking examples of other nation will help us , things don’t work the same in our nation.

My question is to all the people (male-female and any other category which is human included) .. the reason I put that in brackets is I am sure someone out there reading this will say I am talking only of females , yeah I get that a lot so to be POLITICALLY CORRECT I put all..  right the question is will this walk really help.. or has it helped ..

Again please hold your horses and take your fingers off that trigger .. and listen to what I have to say

I am not undermining anything, I totally support all kinds of walk , dharna’s , agitations etc .. BUT my question is to all those who are quiet vocal,

what will they do if they found out that the person who eve teased or raped or molested is from their own house.. will they still want that male to be castrated …

All these crimes are done by a Male (again please I mean MAJORITY) though females too do it but lets assume here its a male who is the culprit .. Dont you think we should be teaching  the MEN the male in our own house , in our own room for things to make a difference, I strongly believe that Once that happens then the things will change.

I feel that the BASIC MENTALITY of a  MALE needs to be changed..  After all the rapist or the man who is eve teasing , or even thinking of it .. IS from our society and maybe from our own home ..

1. How many people will be there in the march, Pardon me for being a idiot but as far as i understand a Indian mindset many of them in the march will be going back to there own home shutting the door and then BITCH about it, Tell me if i am wrong in that …

2. How many of the people actually in the march will go home and to there Husband-Son-Father and point out to them that the way they look at a girl is not good.

3. How many MEN who are supporting this march will on a friday night get drunk or have a few drinks and then do the same thing against which they are standing up now. by this i dont mean they will go and Rape or molest someone I mean talking amogst their own friends .. Oh how sexy that girl is , look at her legs , this and that…

4. A baby boy grows , starts school , comes back home after a few days Mommy is probably the first one to ask “KOI GF banai”..  A girl is taught and instructed about social conduct, given guidelines about how to dress and behave in public in general. But a boy is seldom/never taught about these things at home esp with regard to conduct towards girls. He learns from his peers, from the media which shape up his misguided notions which slowly get entrenched. Something needs to be done in this direction too.  (copied this from Ajay’s comment..)

I am copying “It is cool to address women as chick, babe, figure, item..It is cool if you are known for your ‘long legs’…It is cool to ignore certain men who ‘compliment your gorgeous shirt/top’ with all the wrong intentions..it is cool to get a million likes when you wantedly put up a pic of you lounging by the beach ( yes, I know some ex-classmates who will do anything for attention. They are still insecure like hell. The funny part is they are showered with attention only when they put up such pics. I am in no way supporting ‘it is women who provoke men’ policy but I am convinced it is because of low self-esteem and insecurity that is making them stoop so low. I have also come across men who have asked them to think again.)”

I totally agree with the above ..

5. I also beleive that  If a woman is dressed a certain way, it does NOT mean that she’s looking for sex!.. But then I would not want a female who I know walking on the road half naked,  as a prostitue would walk.. Again YES I know how they dress and walk.  I know many out there probably wriggling there fingers to put in a comment How do i know, or how can i see.. Well my answer is Look at the one you care for and love , thats how they NOT DRESS.. hope you got a reply

I was brought up by parents who taught me how to treat a woman, I was always told that I should watch how i behave outside since I have sisters and I would not like them teased or hassled. DO you teach your son-husband-father this … Did you protest when a male in your family said something derogatory about a female in front of you.

Do have a think and let me know….

Thursday Challenge “WOODEN” (Ship, House, Furniture, Carpentry Tools, Trees,…)

I am not sure if this goes with the theme, but it says trees and I found this unusual black treee …

I am sorry if this does not fit the theme…

Black tree

Thanks everyone for always being there 🙂 Have a great Wednesday…

This post is reposted with a few changes..

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

The role of a father is always taken for granted, But we forget that this bread-winner is as emotional as a mother , and yet we so easily wipe him off any outwardly show of gratitude. It is so easy these days in our crazy busy life to remember or think or focus on the things that our parents did not do for us , we have become so selfish in life we think only the negative.. we forget there is so much good that parents have done for us..

Fathers are believed to be tough, strict and all that.. but they are humans too, I am not saying my My father was perfect, no one is but I know for sure that he did his best to raise us And Thanks to him We are where we are and I AM WHAT AND WHERE I AM.

Today I would like to share with you a few things about my father, It is my personal recollection of time spent with my father, I was never very close to my father, I don’t remember any reason why it should have been like that, since he and my sister were so close to each other. Maybe because I spent most of my time in hostel.

He invested so much time in me , when i was studying in Chandigarh, He would come from office and sit with me for an hour or so for my homework from school, I did not feel very happy about it , But on hindsight I think it was so good.

My father was a proud man, he never said it to me but I know when others tell me, his best friends tell me what he talked about , what he thought of us. He was proud of our achievements. He cared so much for everyone , I distinctively remember sometimes him and my mother arguing over the fact that its holidays and he has asked someone to visit us, rather than us going out together for holidays. Most of my cousins stayed with us to study in city at one time we were 7 or 8 kids in the house, He catered for all of us without batting a eyelid.

Everyone in the family for any help would come to him, he did not say no to anyone, I have seen so many people who have stopped visiting us now, or calling us , but they did.

Summer holidays in school would see him making plans where to take us , manali, mumbai, Gujarat… he loved to travel.. see new places Thanks to him I have seen a lot of India, though at that time it felt weird why am i going with my mum-dad when my friends are going together, But now I know , I cherish those visits which most of my friends did not have. I did, the time spent with my father was the best.

I still remember that day when I got the early morning call, my mama ji said hello and immediately i knew something was wrong, very wrong, he just said Come to India straightaway, Papa had passed away.. I did not know what to do .. I remember the shock, the horror, the disbelief, the fear, the complete sense of hopelessness and helplessness brought on, Suddenly, life seemed so finite. All those times we had flashed by in front of me, I remember the horrible time it took to reach Delhi then drive to Chandigarh..

All through the time so many things were going through my mind, I still stop and remember the times.. The times when I use to think what have i done wrong , Why is my father so strict, Why does he stop me doing this, Why wont he get me what i want, Why does he say No always .. So many questions .. But as I grew up I somehow started to understand all he was doing for me.

On the day of the bhog so many people had come to pay their respects, i did not know many of them , A few letters had come from various people , One letter I still have one from a Principle of a college in Punjab who showered so many praises on dad for helping the College where so many students got education. 

I also had made a point to ask all his friends to let me know if he had owed anything to anyone so as a son I could pay them back,  he did not owe anything to anyone.

There are a few things that comes to my mind immediately when I think of my father , the first one was 1996 the year my dad retired from work, We were all invited by his office people for a small party in the evening, where they gave him some presents and all.. After it got over we were walking towards our car when we saw a few people beating up a man, on enquiry we got to know this guy also had retired the same day , but during his work time he had made life hell for his colleagues so now that he retired he got a beating as send of.. It made me feel proud of my dad at that time.

The other thing that comes to mind is the incident where I had gone to a place called Patiala for Inter college debate representing my college, at night there was a terrorist attack where so many students were killed in middle of night, My father got to know about this and he was there at Patiala in his night suit.. Searching for me in the hospital and when he saw me all covered in blood from carrying the injured he almost cried.. but in his way he told me “I had told you not to come , Now let’s go home”, and when I said to him he will have to wait till all of my friends are found and donating blood, he just sat there waiting..

Cut off time at night was 9pm , I had to be home and if not then he would get so worried sometimes come to look for me , my friend would joke with me that I should go home on time else “PAPA will COME” 🙂

His pet dialogues “kya Raje”.. or “Kya banega is desh ka ”  whenever politics would come up to discuss, how eagerly he would watch the cricket matches , come occasions he would hate when i said I have to go to a friends house to celebrate he would say “Raje Ithe sad lai uhna nu”.. (call them here instead)…

I remember him go so angry one time we had gone to Hazoor sahib , Nanded near mumbai, and he was trying to get a room for us and as usual there too it was corruption give money get a room, and Papa blew his top and asked the guy who demanded money to step out of his office so he could slap him, I was young , suddenly it was all quiet and no one there dared to move,  I thought today we would be beaten up, but no one dared and Papa was like telling me, dont worry anyone comes near get him.  I saw the look on his face and the guy in the office almost pee-ed in his pants,  and lo and behold we got a lovely room without paying any bribe.

He would celebrate my birthday every year , I was a grown up man but no he always made sure 11th Nov he had a few of my friends invited a few of his friends to celebrate and Since he has passed no one has celebrated my birthday as he use to.. I remember his craze for Poori Cholle , he would always order them from sector 17 Chandigarh that was one  dish Always on the menu on my birthdays..

Another funny incident was when i had applied for Visa for uk, everyone was saying I wont get it, and I will have to wait etc etc, I remember going to Delhi embassy , my interview took place at about 10am and by 11am i was out with the news that Visa is mine, I should go and get the medical done.. I rang my father to tell him I got the visa and i need to go for medical his words were “No don’t go, come home, for the next few weeks eat Makhan-badaam-gheo , Tagda ho ke Medical devange” (  almonds-ghee- get stronger and then give medical) , I was laughing my head off, and me being me could not wait .. gave the medical the same night ..

When I came to UK my friends would still visit my home and Papa would sit with them and offer them a drink or two always saying that If Bikram was there he would do the same , All these little events I came to know when friends talked they would say I have a cool father.

People often forget to say “I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME” I did too all this time, I miss telling him how much he meant to me, How much I love – care for him. I am what I am now cause of his pains, that he took, sacrificing his ideas sometimes to make sure I got what I wanted or threw a tantrum over. I regret not telling him all this when I had the chance, will regret all my life.

THANK YOU PAPA for everything and making me the person I am, tears still swell up and my heart aches Because He was my Daddy and I miss him all the time, I want to take this opportunity now to tell him that

. I remember the hurt in your eyes when i could not get through the IMA so many times , each time you asked me to hold my head high, try again.

. The sadness when I planned to come to UK, You did not stop me.

. The proud moment when I rung you to tell you I have bought a house , My first car..

. The day you came to visit me here. I am sorry for not spending more time with you..

. The day I got sworn in for the forces here.

I remember them all wish you were here to see your son happy. It was all because of you Papa Thank you So much. I hope I am an ounce like my father, If I am then I would do justice to my kids too. I hope and pray you are looking out for me as you always did.

Happy Fathers day to all the readers, Let not just be ON the fathers day that we say I love you to our dad, lets say it every day and make it a father’s day all the days…

Thursday Challenge  LIQUID (Splashes, Pouring, Dripping, Waves, Wet,…)

Because of work and all Not getting time to write posts or edit the ones in the drafts , but Thursday challenge and Wordless wednesday help.. to keep the blog alive .. Sorry by inundating you all with pics most of the time Here are a few to go with the Topic..

1. Splash

Splashhhhh

Again again ...

 

2. Waves , Wet – australia

Palm Beach australia

Palm Beach Australia

 

3. Waves , Wet – India

Beach in Puri India

Puri - India

Shilpa sharma tagged me with the following tag, So thanks to her i got something to put 🙂 and I added a few things in the end too to make it a whole Set A to Z 🙂
 
Here we go:
A. Make a list of 5 things that are in reach.
Laptop, Mobile phone, Hockey stick , Walkers Crisp and a Jar full of sweets 🙂
 
B. What is your favourite holiday?
All of them.  
 
C. What is your fashion style?
Ah ha here i go .. I am self styled guru which works only for me .. you get what you see is the mantra 🙂 Please dont copy me and try it at home ..  my style comes with discalimer and at own risk.. 🙂
 
D. What’s your occupation?
Lok SEVA it seems all i am left to be doing especially people back home who think money grows on the tree in the backyard…
 
E. What do you hear right now?
My colleuge listening to this english number and all I can make out of it is a racquet of noise.
 
F. Who was the last person you hugged?
The one who i love ..

G. What random song just popped in your head now?

Ha ha ha ha I DONT BELEIVE IT .. the song that came to mind is
GUD NALON ISHQ MITHA .. oh my oh my what world am I living in
 
H. What did you do today?
Finishing the paperwork..
 
I. What was the last text message you received?
A joke from a friend..
A women on her deathbed called her husband and asked him to open a box from under the bed. Inside he finds 3 eggs and 7000 pound in cash, “what are the eggs for”.. he asked..
“Everytime we had a fight I would put one egg in the box”..
“Not Bad ” says the husband  “3 eggs in 35 year. and the cash”..
she replies “Everytime i had a a dozen i sold them…….” 🙂
 
J. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Blogs..

K. What is your next big planned purchase?
A Ducati motorbike

L. If you could afford to go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Florida.. DisneyLand 🙂
 
M. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
hmmm retired back home in india 🙂  

N. Where’s your tattoo/Where would you like a tattoo?
I want one on my back or shoulder .. have none so far. 

O. What are you doing this weekend?
Clubbing my cousins are coming.

P. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
Flute 🙂

Q. What’s the one thing you need the most now? 
A JACKPOT win in the national lottery ..
 
R. Are you a creeper? 
I hope not .. you all reading do let me know if i am one ..
 
S. What is your dream job?
Nothing I want to retire now …
 
T. What’s the last good movie you saw?
Hindi :- Bheja Fry
English :- Unthinkable..
 
U.  What’s your favourite quote?
Stand Tall. Face your enemies Bring it on
When the going gets tough the Tough gets going…
 
V. What is your favourite colour?
Blue
 
W. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:
I don’t believe in it, you cant hide the heart, the evil or beautiful heart by having all those false stuff over you..
end of the day it comes out.. so be natural and be good and be honest… and love the person you love with your heart cause i believe that Once you get old and all this false beauty goes away you will need those who love you.. the others will use you and leave you MARK MY WORDS …

X. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

Y. What do you love to do when it is drizzling?
get wet, have some paper boats…
Drink hot coffee, eat maal pue.. :)  
love to be at my village standing under the roof… watching it fall
pitter patter pitter patter …

smell the fresh smell of earth….

Z. What inspires you?
Friends, Honour, Truth, Love.

Please do take up the Tag and lets hear what you have to say ….

 

Thursday Challenge  “MUSIC” (Bands, Musicians, Instruments, iPod, Headset,…)

I took this picture of this young man playing the traditional australian Didgeridoo

 

Didgeridoo Player

right on the pier at the sydney opera house ..  The music was beautiful , after a few seconds it actually was soothing and nice and calm …