Relatives.. WHY DO WE HAVE THEM…

Posted: February 18, 2011 in Angry, Dhongi.., Family, Rant
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Have you ever dreamed or thought what life would be if some moments in life that have gone by turned out different…

Well lately I have been thinking about it a lot , I know I have written about what if this or what if that … anyway have had some pretty tough days in the recent past, hence the thought of what if..

I was the only male child in my family hence spoilt, my grand parents loved me to bits, Daddy as I called my grandpa had a second marriage, my dad being the son from the first marriage, Things were not good but for some reason my grand ma and pa loved me to bits, I remember an episode that I am reminded a lot many times By my Bhua (my dads step sister) she had come from USA to visit us, with her son and daughter, who were same age as me 4 or 5 years old.. I am reminded to this day how there was snake in the courtyard of the house and my grand-ma ran and picked me up , took me inside, I take it for the love for Me. Anyway the reason why I said this was what if My Dads mum had not died and my grand pa was not married again, will there be still the same problems that we had Once my grand pa passed away.

My grand ma loved me so much, I was practically raised by her since my mum was very young when she got married, and suddenly to change. I remember when I was in hostel my grand pa and Ma both coming to visit me every other weekend, The money I got for the festivals… Anything I wanted if my dad said no, I would get it from my grand parents. I spent more time with my grand parents all the time. But all that changed once my grand dad passed away, I remember getting the call early morning about 3 am from my dad telling me about my Daddy, thankfully there was a flight at 9Am, got that ..

I mean my cousins they are all born and live in USA, hardly visited India ever, Suddenly when my grand pa passed away it was like All flights come to india, that’s when the problems started the property, the shops etc etc.. why is there so much greed in people, Why is the sudden love and affection comes into the Fore when someone dies, where were they all when Grand pa was alive. Anyway I am not sure why I am writing this. I have been under a lot of stress with the other side of the family asking me to sell off a part of the property but I don’t want to , after all that is what we have inherited from our parents. How can you just sell it away.

I asked this question from my cousin and I got a mouthful regarding it, I asked them I would buy it off them if they are so keen to sell it off, the calls I got , the threatening calls telling me I dare not come to india, I mean WHAT THE F____.

Hence all this problem and the QUESTION WHAT IF..

What if my real grand mother had not died.. but on other hand the question is why this sudden change in my grand mother suddenly, have I changed or has she.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH relations and relatives why did we have them.. Am I wrong if I want to keep my part of the property, I don’t want to SELL. Moreover why would anyone want to take what is given to them on a silver platter, I have worked hard for where I am now, bought my own house, it is such an elevation a thrill to sign on the dotted line and getting those keys to YOUR OWN HOUSE. I guess it’s the thrill of easy money, the hard work put in by our elders to make the property and other stuff we don’t see, till we have to do it ourselves and have to work hard to earn it ourselves.

Anyway I am glad I wrote this , I have had my rant…. 🙂

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Comments
  1. Punam says:

    Now now, what was that? Heyyy.. it’s the same story almost everywhere. These things happen and you just have to deal with them head on. Do what your heart desires. What you have inherited from your elders is like a blessing and it must be ideally treasured. So if you want to treasure it, then follow your heart.

    Like

  2. Deboshree says:

    I have been raised by my grandparents too. (my nana and nani I mean) Mom and Dad stayed in another city when i was young… and I can’t imagine life without Dada and Ma. (that’s what I call my grandparents.)

    I am glad you’ve had your rant Bikram. 😀
    As for the property selling, I couldn’t agree more. Easy money or any such prospect can never be impetus enough.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Easy money and the way property prices have gone up doesnot help either .. easy money it seems but the question is what will they do with the money once it all spent ..

      Like

  3. Pooja Desai says:

    It happens, you know i believe people dont change, circumstances and situations show us what they really are, what we really are.

    There are lots of times in life we are made to face the harsh realties of people whom we considered close and honest. these are the times and moments that make us the individuals we become.

    But i think you should do what you want, if you can, easy way to solve this issue is, if u can afford to buy them out, buy the property through some1 else. Dont let them know ultimately you are getting what you want, sometimes it is more about egos than just money.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Oh yes situations are a curtain raiser thats when the TRUE face comes out .. all these years seem to be a waste.

      Thank you for agreeing with me I am not selling , they want to kill me well thats upto them , they will need to come near me to do that ..

      I like this idea of buying it through someone will try that 🙂 thanks

      Like

  4. raji says:

    yes bikram ji .When it comes up to all these issues ,we really feel “why do we have these relatives”.Also to add ,when they poke their bloody nose into all the personal matters on earth!

    Like

  5. Phoenixritu says:

    In cases like this …. Well, God gives us relatives so that we truly appreciate our friends

    Like

  6. Tanishka says:

    It is at these times that we really feel why relatives….
    The greed to have the easy money leads people to such nuisance…
    Good that you have had your rant… Hope you are feeling better….

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes Tan its the greed to make a quick buck or easy money which takes us there i guess..

      I will feel much better once all this thing settles down the way the indian govt offices work doesnot help either, such a slow process and so many loopholes … It seems I will myself have to go to india to sort it all out

      Like

  7. DI says:

    We hardly have relatives, as in we do, but we are all very formal. Somehow, I always feel these sort of things do come in between. At times I am not sure if I am actually happy or sad about the fact that relatives play such a small role in our lives.

    Like

  8. Banupriya says:

    Hi Bikramji!! This happens at almost 80% of houses in India. Can’t really get the idea why does people fight over and be so greedy. I have been seeing such kinds in my family for 2 generations. My granddad’s brothers did the same and now my dad’s brothers doign the same.

    As per my view — its good to let go of something precious if this is going to give u mental piece. I understand that it is precious, but attachment to a land/house can give u nothing ut again then if you are ready to hold it for long, then go ahead with a brave heart. Please dont think why are relatives bad and all that. You can never cahnge them. You can rather change yourself by letting it go or being very strong so that you get you what want..

    Its ok sometimes this blog space of ours help us in venting out all we have inside in simple words.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yepp it has become so common now, and two marriages doesnot help either ..

      I know what u say that if i let go it will give mental peace but then when i visit india where will i go , you know what will i have to show to my next generation as the family house etc .. the roots ..
      moreover I was born there , my childhood and I became a man in that house how can we jsut sell it away , its got so many memories ..

      I know i can not change them but why did they have to change, all these things can be sorted out by talking, its not as if I am asking them not to have anything and the nthe threats ..

      maybe as you say i shud change myself .. Thank you for putting it this way 🙂

      Like

  9. It happens and its very common in India these days… its really nasty and we wont like it, but ppl who care only for money and property have their takes. U knw we should hav enough patience 2 face them coz they r not gonna change, though they will understand its price a later time (though they might b late by then).
    It wud b definitely a gud decision, if u plan 2 buy the property.. i had taken that decision whn i had 2 buy my grannys property, trust me i dont regret and my mom is happy that she still got with her, something her parents had bought with their hard earned money.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      I like your idea and Good on you to have taken over the place i bet that made your mum so happy.. see thats what i mean we should preserve our roots , and we loose all that in silly squabbles …

      people in other countries do anything to preserve , to go to there rooots and here are we trying to get rid of it or breaking it down .. I have put this option of buying them out but you know they know i am in uk and they there so they basically what the whole lot … and I seem to be the BAD STONE alive 🙂

      Thanks for sharing your views

      Like

  10. Swaram says:

    Hugs!

    Like

  11. IRFANUDDIN says:

    these things are very common now a days,whenever the head of the family passes away….

    and in this materialistic when it comes for money or property then taking care for any relation is secondary for most of the people… and its very unfortunate that money matters every thing now…. as they say,

    “NAA BAAP BADA NAA BHAIYAA… THE WHOLE THING IS THAT, Ki BHAIYAA SAB SE BADAA RUPAIYAA…..”

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      He he he you summed it so very nicely with that line

      “NAA BAAP BADA NAA BHAIYAA… THE WHOLE THING IS THAT, Ki BHAIYAA SAB SE BADAA RUPAIYAA…..”

      Yeah so true

      Like

  12. blommer22 says:

    yes, you’ve got ur rant now. relieved ? now smile smile. *hugs*

    Like

  13. scorpria says:

    It happens all the time — and i dont think india’s the only place it happens in.
    if you value the property and want to keep it, by all mean, fight to keep it!

    it’s your decision alone…and it’s a decision that’ll stay by you for the rest of your life: it’ll either make you happy or haunt you.

    I know this coz i see it in my dad’s eyes whenever we talk abt his family house which had to be sold off to please the many sisters and bros he had.

    and like pooja says, if you can afford to buyu it off them, buy it through someone else: and make sure the “someone else” is someone who can completely trust.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yeah it happens everywhere i guess the lure of easy money makes people do silly things …
      Well i know its my decision and i have decided i aint selling.. they want ot see there share up to them or let me buy theres..

      As you say in long time we will repent the decision ..

      YEah i am planning something lets see , i got to visit india for that so lets see what happenes 🙂
      thanks for everything 🙂

      Like

  14. Rachna says:

    Property affairs can really be so messy. They can really strain relations and sometimes very close relatives also become enemies. I can understand your dilemma, sell your property only if your heart desires so and not under pressure. I feel bad for you. I suffered some pretty bad cousins too.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEah its so messy.. all relations go out ofthe window.. not jsut strain they are broken for life…

      Sorry to hear about your cousins .. thats why the title WHY do we have them …

      Like

  15. Shilpa Garg says:

    Ahhhhh… property issues within families can be very very messy!! Hope you get to do what you desire to do about it! All the very best! 🙂

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Haanji.. its all messed up.. Thank you for wishes i hope so too that all is solved amicabily and bad blood does not happen .. but then we humans do silly things in greed …

      Like

  16. Shail says:

    Tell me bout relatives Bikram, tell me! Sigh, such a pain in you know where some of them are.
    I have never understood this greed either. I am now witnessing a brother sister duo in extended family suing another sibling of theirs. And guess what, they are all so well off and have enough moolah of their own. Of what use broken relationships to satisfy greed??!!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Same story everywhere it seems …
      YEah sad sad situation.. i guess thats how one gets rich by taking from others and i have seen that the richer one is the greedier one becomes .. and the need to have more money increases .. even when we all know that once the day comes we will leave all this behind and AGAIN cause all these fights amongst we have left behind … Funny

      Like

  17. Madhu says:

    Bikram, I hear ya. Been there, done that. My sincere suggestion is get a lawyer for yourself, it REALLY helps (i.e if you have not already done so). If they want to be mean, so can you be. Be strong. We will never get ancestral property once we sell them.
    Keep your mom informed too and tell her that if anyone bothers her, they would hear from your lawyer directly. Sorry, unasked advice, but couldn’t help it. My parents have gone through what you are going through. Its difficult…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thanks madhu.. yeah i have been trying to find a good lawyer the problem is since i am here i dont know many so i guess i will have to visit india soon.. and get the things to work…

      luckily i got some very good friens who do care for me and are taking care of a few things back home …
      and please dont say sorry I am thankful you said that and gave me a good advice..

      Thank you

      Like

  18. sangeeta says:

    Greed often eats up the emotions and sensibilities . I know how it feels and find myself becoming a recluse because of all this..

    Like

  19. Smitha says:

    Property! That seems to be the main issue everywhere! I cna’t help wonder – where do these people think they will take all this money? Why spoil relations for just a little money? Is it worth it in anyway?

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      🙂 exactly where will they take all this money .. well realtions are spoilt already they aint going to mend .. when you suddenly see this face of FOES how can you expect it to be all hunky dory… its never gonna happen .. i guess this will go all the way now one way or other way …

      Like

  20. sangeeta says:

    I posted a comment here and i think it got lost.

    Anyways , i wanted to say that greed sometimes eats up the sensibility and emotions , but yes, you need a lot of patience and self assurance to go through such times.

    Like

  21. Shail says:

    I really don’t know what to say on this..I’ve heard this kind of things but have never felt the heat as I am lucky being protected by my parents from all this harshness of the world..

    Just want to wish u luck. keep ur calm. donot let it affect u. Do right and leave the rest to God..

    Take Care

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much. Well i was protected too for all these years but now that my dad has passed away all that responsibility has come over to me and i got to face all these people …

      Thank you for the wishes .. I hope all works fine…

      Like

  22. Ankita says:

    Blogs are the best place to vent out the anguish and frustration.
    I always felt closer to friends than relatives. (May be its just because every one lives far away, whereas I meet friends almost daily)
    But seriously, I always hear about relatives from other relatives in the negative.
    Hatred among cousins due to heirloom or property issues OR simply relatives who turn annoying when they show their face only when they need money. Its ridiculous.

    I don’t have a personal experience to share, but I find some of my relatives quite annoying who have opinions about my personal life when they have no clue what I am doing.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEah indeed blogs help a lot .. and with so many people out there and the care and love we get it feels good tooo.
      yeah friends are always more welcome then relatives…

      its funny when we are kids and together all cousins have so much fun but when they grow up and are supposed to be more intelligent and know the world better we all turn out to be such bad people …
      Money makes people do very silly things ….

      Thanks ankita god bless

      Like

  23. Titaxy says:

    sigh. i dont know what to say. hugs.

    Like

  24. Inheritance is a cancer that people all across the world are facing. For one, it kills the desire to work hard to earn your money. I know many people who sit and eat from inherited wealth and after a couple of decades struggle to make ends meet because all that inherited money is now gone!

    It seems, the inheritance tax in japan is so high that the inherited wealth does not cross a couple of generations… Its very costly to maintain them it seems. The Japanese are wise people.

    Destination Infinity

    Like

  25. bedazzled says:

    Hope things work out in the end.. greed is omnipresent. Hope you feel better soon.

    Like

  26. Shobha says:

    OMG ..these jealous relatives everywhere are a real MUSIBAT…very difficult to deal with them.
    I hope and pray that you will be able to save your ancestral property, which is rightfully yours. You and your mom have got memories of all the time spent in that house. How can you give it up or sell it ?
    In our case too Bikram, these so called relatives cannot see us settled down well in life and are a happy couple…touch wood ! and believe me not that they are not well off or something..they are all rich..It is just the envy that makes them do so…..
    Sach kaha aapne…why do we have them ???????

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes shobha ji OMG 🙂 is the correct way to put it .. and yes a BIG MUSIBAT..
      thanks for the wishes and i hope so too .. well selling was never in mind so that rusles out that topic…
      People are jealous i guess in my case they are jealous cause what they have not been able to do staying aborad for 20-30 odd years and i managed to d oa bit in my time here , i guess thats what is makeing them jealous …

      Thank you

      Like

  27. Chatterbox says:

    It is always sad to see relatives fight and split over issues of property 😦
    But you get to face and see this everywhere in the world.
    Hope you feel better after venting out all your feelings 😀

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes CB sad it is .. all those realtions and the memories we had when we were young have all been washed away.. GREED..

      I feel ok after venting and too seeing all thee comments from all is heartening and makes me smile ….

      Like

  28. Tomz says:

    nice post..Bikramjit..thanks for reminding us some serious things regarding relationships..

    Like

  29. Aimless Traveller says:

    I understand the pain Bikram… And there is no easy answer to this… Hope your relatives see some light and understand your pain.. I know it is wishful thinking but hope it works out alright without many burnt bridges.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you .. well regarding the light i guess tats not gonna happen the envy, the trust and all that has gone , thats not gonna become or be where it was earlier .. at least money has made the real face come out …
      Thank you for the wishes fingers crossed …

      Like

  30. Rekha says:

    Money money must be funny in a rich man’s world…
    that is how the world is today…good luck and stay firm…

    Like

  31. raj says:

    Nothing one can do! relatives sucks!

    I believed it since my childhood when my dad’s brother enjoys our combined property, till now they are enjoying it!

    Anyway , I dont have something to do with them! easy money is supposed to go away easily.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEs Raj you said it right…
      same story i guess ..
      they are enjoying the day your dad says something it will be chaos.. they will forget all the time they have had in that place…

      yeah true easy money goes easy tooo 🙂

      Like

  32. harman says:

    ..property fights are very common in punjab,,,it can go to great extent..But why shld you sell your share..It s sad..
    threaten you? relatives forget that..relations are there if we nurture them…otherwise strangers!!

    Like

  33. Pepper says:

    Property matters are sticky Bikram 😦 Especially when it is joint property. I hope you sort it out soon. Meanwhile, you can always come here to rant, and we’ll listen.

    Like

  34. NRIGirl says:

    Bikramjit: Isn’t writing a therapy in itself?!
    Now that you have written, it takes care of most of your tension I am sure. Coming to the property matters, yours will be yours no matter what Bikramjit! Why not talk to Grandma heart-to-heart to find out who messed up with hers?

    ~ Hephzibah

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEs it does help writing and getting it out ..

      No i am not going to do that cause i hold ot my beleifs that there shud be no reason for nayone to change heart.. what sort of a human is a person who changes there heart at the saying of others .. She is intelligent and very learned and has seen the world one shud know …

      But i guess in the end it is true STEP sons and grandsons are always STEP the ycan never take the place of there own… I learned the hard way

      Like

  35. A says:

    Bikram,

    Property fight is an age old story. I do not know what to say. I never got any inheritance of any kind. I signed wherever they wanted me to and I never regretted it. I am not saying you do the same but it may not be worth a fight.

    Like

  36. Ashwathy says:

    Money matters more than love care and family in this world. I was shocked to learn it, but now I know it is true. Have had some very similar experiences with regards to my ancestral home, so I very well know what’s it like.
    If u wanna talk, I m here. And yes u really feel like shaking these relatives till their teeth rattle…. and try to make them see sense….. about what are the things in life that are actually valuable…. as opposed to money, property, land, gold etc. 😐

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Money is always at a higher pedestial compared to love… we see it time and again ..

      Thank you so much for saying that you are there 🙂 THANK YOU.

      ;lets see what happens and how things work out

      Like

  37. UmaS says:

    Oh my….this kind of change in ppl when there is wealth / property involved is so common Bikram….I am telling u that ur problem is any less, but its happening to many ppl like u.

    After my father passed away, all his properties and other things are being transferred to my mom and the most essential thing to that is the Legal Heir Certificate and my name is also there in it. But me and my husband have decided, that I’ll not take anything from that, even though I inherit them legally. I am happy with my life, my husband and my kids to even think about other things, esp money and related wealth.

    Just allow things to happen their natural course – for if its been meant to be yours, it’ll be yours at any cost – Nobody can do anything to it.

    Heres some hugs to make u feel better. 🙂 Keep strong. 🙂 World is made up of all sorts of ppl – and you just cant do anything abt the relatives, becos u dont choose them to be yours.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes Uma.. I see it now happening in my own house .. sad ..

      God bless and heres wishing that you and family are always like this all the time …

      Yeah lets see how things happen.. thank you so much for all this love and care … Yepp we dont choose them .. wish we did though life would be more wonderful

      Like

  38. nadia says:

    hmmm…. i jus heard a similar story from my mom, the one who was fighting was her bro for the land of her parents.. the only difference i find was, my grand parents were still alive..lolzz… and i definitely would say, my mamu ( mom’s bro) definitely did not know how difficult it was to get tht land… grrrr!!!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      ohhhh hmmm well i know for sure mine will also find out how difficult its gonna be for them all…

      Welcome to this blog .. thanks for visiting please do keep visiting 🙂

      Like

  39. neena says:

    You will get what’s due to you no matter what. Just believe in that and relax.

    Like

  40. Property matters are really tricky..and yep I so agree relatives are imminently dispensable !!

    Like

  41. Ria says:

    Yes havent i heard this before…its the same story everywhere. Follow what ur heart says.

    Like

  42. asha says:

    Nothing new bikram. It’s the same everywhere. My grand dad was in the same situation as yours, only difference was his own hardearned money . Everything was fleeced by my grandpa’ sis and brothers, inspite grandma’s advice to grandpa.

    Don’t let go anything that is rightfully yours at the same time don’t let these people ruffle you and steal your peace or rather leave it to god. Shhh…. God is at work. HE will take care.

    Like

  43. manchitra says:

    Wherever property and money is there, problems automatically follow. I am happy you worked hard and could make your house etc.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you .. yeah its been a struggle I actually had a job when i was in second year of my college .. and everyone use to laugh at me saying why do i do it , i dont need to my parents got enough …
      and a few who laughed are still living in the same house there parents left them , they dont have anything to show for themselves .. and i am where i am RIGHT or WRONG .. rich or poor I dont know maybe i dont have that much money but i am happy that i got my own .. 🙂

      Like

  44. rohini says:

    relatives …there is no meaning left these days for this word…..the coming generation will nt not even know their real siblings…..nt others but we too r responsible for that….our lifestyle has changed so r the needs…
    their r many who still fight over the property..but literate people today i think are careless for it..and r busy in their lives to earn their own property now….

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Rohini Ji..
      so true what u said . the meaning is lost.. and its not just many its like almost everybody it seems ..

      lets hope what you say is right and literate people do that for i have a feeling that more literate one is the more greedy too they become or more loopholes they can find ..

      Like

  45. Aniruddh says:

    I think in modern generation scenario “Money often outweighs relationships”, but you got to take it easy, as one of Bob Marley’s Song(Three Little Birds) says : “Singing don’t worry, About a thing, Because every Little Thing is gonna be alright”, Take Care 🙂

    Like

  46. aneeta says:

    Hey, dont let these things get you down, they are a part n parcel of life (esp in the Pbi context!!). And we may not like all our relatives but we also have the ones we love (our parents, siblings, n hopefully a few others). Hang in there!

    Like

  47. Onkar Kedia says:

    You are correct. Property is a big divisive force. It can change people overnight.

    Like

  48. Tulika says:

    I know… and yes I found that word in tag “dhongi.” Defn ppl show their true colors, their traits and pettiness when it comes to money and I dont get the point of getting so excited by family property. Can’t one look beyond and discover the thrill of a self acquired fortune. Having said that I’m not going to the excessiveness of the term ‘fortune.’

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hey thanks .. you come after ages .. how are you doing ..
      and YES I like what you say the charm of self acquired stuff.. with your own hard work its a thrill as i said when i signed the documents for my first house and then my car and then buying things with my own money .. not having to ask dad for money ..

      🙂

      Like

  49. Saritha says:

    For some people it is just the money and property no value for love and relationship.It always better to keep such people at a distance.

    We are there no your friends,so just don’t care about those noisy relatives…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Haanji it sure is that way , maybe i am also like that greedy and what not .. I dont know i guess others are in a better place to have a point on that .. I DONT KNOW …

      THANKS A LOT for that yes i know you all are there I can see with all the comments that i have got now .. THANK YOU

      Like

  50. Bindu says:

    Isn’t it sad that we can’t select our relatives just like we select friends?

    Like

  51. Alka says:

    Without our knowledge my husbands brother sold off the ancestral property and kept everything…we do not know who bought it and how much it was sold for…It hurt. Not the money part but the greed part…so we are not the only ones…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      ohhh .. it happens and now adays sch things are quiet common in punjab as most people are abroad and with false documents people back sell things off..
      BUt thankfully i got some very good friends who keep an eye on this.. and as you see over here on blog too so many wishes and such lovely people have commented .. so world does have good people too

      lets see what happens .. i know for one thing to sell my share they will probably have to kill me 🙂

      Like

  52. B K CHOWLA says:

    Bikram,dont you know that people kill each other over property issues?
    My take is simple–Paisa Aur Zameen Mukaddar Se Hi Milti hai.
    You will get what you are destined for

    Like

  53. bhagyareema says:

    Money/ property makes people change, it always has, it always will. Some people’s whole existence is absed on the five letter word- money, for some it really does not matter.
    Somehow even though I have subscribed to ur posts < i am not getting a=intimation when u post, don't know why

    Like

  54. If a property is in your name it can’t be sold without your wish. If others want to sell their shares – I guess they have no attachment, since they have never lived here… I agree with a commenter above, maybe you can buy it back through somebody else.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Yes IHM but you know how it is back in india , it doesnot matter if its on ur name or anything.. people do things ..

      yeah they dont have any attachement cause money speaks a lot , when i asked to keep it all together as its our family i got a earful, so i put the fone down.. i guess i will have to go to india myself in person and see how it goes..

      i will try to buy it somehow lets see fingers crossed

      Like

  55. Elegant Chic says:

    No one can touch your property!

    Like

  56. Jzt4me says:

    Not all of them are same Bikram…for instance, in my life, I am experiencing two extreme relations…where in, my family is a family who stood with us in the darkest of the days, where some of them even sold off their house and property to clear the debts my father occurred with the problems in his business…Even today, we all stay together..and make every day we r together as cool as a festival day…We never needed a Grand parent to make that possible…bcoz it was love that bound us together…

    At the same time, the house I walked into, getting married…My husbands family…every single person is fighting like dogs and cats…for property..even after having a lottttt..(trust me, a lot…) still they r not happy when they say 1 inch more in their kin’s side…My husband and myself being here, we r safe from the dirty politics that happens back home..and we both get frustrated when we r on vacation and his mother keeps on bragging on things, she shuld have got and she didnt…or things she has done and still was not rewarded and so on…

    What can we do, when we cant shut our own mouth..how can we try reforming ur neighbour…

    Still I wouldnt say…I dont want relatives…I would love to have more and more relatives…like the one I have from my side…and thats exactly what my husband too wish for…

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hi Yeah not everyone is the same .. but general rule says that when it comes to money or land etc it usually happens that relatives are the first one’s who have a problem with everything ..

      I would love to have more relatives like the ones you have from your side i would not mind that … myself 🙂

      Like

  57. Pixie says:

    Awww… hugs Biks! Hope you are feeling better after ranting!
    Don’t seel if you don’t want to and of course you don’t have to explain to anyone why you don’t want to sell!!
    Relatives can sure be a pain! Hugs!

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much .. yeah i am ok , what with so many people sending wishes and being there then a few friends back home ..
      yeah i am not selling thats for sure ..

      Thank you

      Like

  58. aaradhnak says:

    NO Comments for the question on relatives!!
    But hope you come out of it all soon…:) I know it’s such a pain to be in all these quarrels…..

    Wish you luck 🙂

    Like

  59. Hey ! guy..u nailed it man.you won’t believe,something similar is happening with us…Yes some realtives are so off-putting ,wish I had a magic wand…you know what I mean?

    Like

  60. radha says:

    Everyone has issues like this. Money can do the strangest things to people… who till then would have been an ideal relative. I wonder why people covet what is not theirs. Some of them do not even need the wealth!

    Like

  61. rekha says:

    Hey Bikram, I can identify so much with this. I was also crestfallen when I saw my masi , whom I loved more than my mother, changed overnight.. I am still going through the after effects.. any way .. such is life. Hope things will be better for you soon.. take care.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      YEah this is what i cant understand, how can someone change so much and so fast.. sorry to hear about your side. yes such is life..
      dont know about if things are better or no, but i have reached a stage where I dont care.. and whatever will be .. WILL BE 🙂

      thanks for the wishes ..

      Like

  62. Param says:

    Sirji, there are basically two kinds of ppl one who invest their time in building relationships(emotional) and the others who are materialistic, these kind of ppl will stoop to any level to get or make money. Look around and you will find most around are the materialistic kinds, for them people are to be used and then thrown away. They do not think emotionally. I have been reading quiet a few posts of your and one thing is clear, tussi senti bande ho, so sadly you will have to go through much more emotionally in life because you do not think but feel from your heart in any given situation. When you connect with someone, it is not with calculations of what you will get out of the relationship but purely out of love. But ki kariye, aajkal de log, enhanu, paisa chaida hai not a loving family member. Can only pray and hope people realize the value of their loved ones than the value of property and then there can be so much happiness in this world. I always start and end my day with this one line,” Waheguru tera shukar hai” God bless you.

    Like

    • Bikram says:

      Hello Param thank you for visiting this blog, Welcome here and please do keep visiting…
      I understand what you are saying about how the world is and beleive me i am doing my utmost to change myself and hopefully I shud change myself and start to think with my MIND …

      Yeah thats the problem no one is satisfied these days …

      Like

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