Happy New year EVERYONE..

Posted: January 1, 2011 in funnies, Laughter

Start the year with a laugh…..

EK ladki @ railway station
Waiting for 1/2 hr… gets bored

coin nikala, coin weighing machine mein dala…

58 Kgs

coin nikala
Sandal utari, side mein rakhkhi
Coin weighing machine mein dala….

56 Kgs

coin nikala
Jacket utara, side mein rakhkha
coin weighing machine mein dala….

53 Kgs

coin nikala
Dupatta utara, side mein rakhkha
coin weighing machine mein dala….

52 Kgs

Coin khatam!

Side mein baitha bhikari bola…

“Tu chalu rakh. Coin main dalta hun………. ” 🙂

(this i had put earlier tooo)

This poem is based on actual events……..

Now this is a story about Manjeet,
Who lived on New York’s 42nd Street.

A hard-core desi with a desi desire,
To control his heat he looked for a Kaur
and started by knocking on his neighbour’s door.

His neighbor was a Vilayatan of Afro descent,
five feet five tall with a Brooklyn accent.

Her name was Myson.
She looked like a Bison,

But that didn’t matter.
Cos our veer Jeeta was fatter!

Jeeta short for Manjeet, was desperate, and he had little choice.
So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice;

“Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari, Meri Heer, Meri Kali!”

She listened to his lines then gave him the crux;
“I’ll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!”

He put on his Brylcream and they started to date.
Jeeta was in love; “Oh, thank-jooooo fate!”

But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl,
She’d smelt the perfume, it was foul!

Her senses were tingling, something was up.
So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup!

She found him quickly in his Pug laal,
Then gave a shriek “OH KALI DE NAAL!” Nee mare marrghay!”

Aunty Bachno raises the alarm;
“Jeeta’s down town with a Kali on his arm!”
“There’s only one way to stop his blunder, I’ll call his mother in district Jallundar!”

When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy!
“Main audhay tukde karke rakh dhongy!”

She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika,
To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta!

As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear,
“Stick to Punjabis!, Main tenoo kinee wari kiha!?”

Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota!
Why didn’t you come to me? I know many Punjabis!

“OK mummy ji, just find me a voti
Who’ll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!”

“My kali friend was a bad move,
She doesn’t even like the Bhangra groove!”

“Serves you right! I’ve told you many times,
Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!”

“I’ll find you a kuree in Englaaand my son,
I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!”

“OH Mummy , get the jalebis, ladoos, patashe, shakar paare.. and lead the way!
Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!”

I’m on my way!

Disclaimer:- The above bears no resemblence to ME, or anyone else .. Any Any references to any Person living, dead, or reincarnated is purely coincidental. No similarity to actual persons or predators, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, No Indian punjabi male Americans or indian punjabi british female’s were harmed in this write up and doesnot bear any resemblance to them 🙂 ..

  1. PriPat says:

    Knew the story of the weighing machine already but still was amuzing to read again 2day!!

    lovely blog!! will follow!


  2. lol this was a great start to the year ! Thanks for raising a laugh Bikram 🙂


  3. Homecooked says:

    Happy New year to you too 🙂


  4. stranger says:

    we are all here..but it looks difficult..may be coz I am dumb…


    • Bikram says:

      THank you.. no no no not diffcult at all.. a couple of times here and you will get the hang of it ..

      If i can do it and use it then BELEIVE me anyone and everyone can no one can be as dumb as me …


  5. NRIGirl says:

    Ha ha ha… laughed all the way… That’s a funny poem Bikramjit! You’ve got real skills…


  6. magiceye says:

    congratulations on your double century!!

    now that you have moved to a new house when is the house warming;)


  7. Happy New year and welcome to WP Club! Gr8 too see more and more of my blog friends shifting to WP 🙂

    and congo for the 200th post and wish you more milestones in the coming years 🙂


  8. neena says:

    All the best, although I’d like to know why exactly more and more ppl shifting to WP.


  9. Hi Bikram,

    I liked the coin part. I even shared it with my father and he laughed so much.

    Happy New Year to you and your family.


  10. lol at the poem …i remember even guys from my place are warned by their mummy’s ” kisse south indian kali naal na veyah kar laeyin ” ..btw as a kid i always wanted to marry an african ..still find them super hot (fe of them )… but frankly there is no one who can match a punjabi ..:)


    • Bikram says:

      haanji it is still a big no no .. 🙂
      african he heehhe well hey do u still fancy them ha ha ha ha …

      and yes PUNJABI’s are the BESTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 🙂

      thank you thank you for visiting and putting the comment 🙂 do come again


  11. sangeeta says:

    Liked the joke and the poem as well… Maa da ladla sudhar geya !!!

    Wishing you a happy new year too although i am late ….
    when did you shift to wordpress ??


    • Bikram says:

      THank you so much yeah sudhar gaya 🙂

      a VERY Happy new year to you to .. I shifted this year 2nd or 3rd JAN 🙂 new year new place

      now remember it he hehe


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