My Father…

Posted: June 19, 2010 in Dad, papa, Soch

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

This is in response to Blogadda’ s Tribute to Dad! .

The role of a father is always taken for granted, But we forget that this bread-winner is as emotional as a mother is, and yet we so easily wipe him off any outwardly show of gratitude. It is so easy these days in our crazy busy life to remember or think or focus on the things that our parents did not do for us , we have become so selfish in life we think only the negative.. we forget there is so much good that parents have done for us..

Fathers are believed to be tough, strict and all that.. but they are humans too, I am not saying my My father was perfect, no one is but I know for sure that he did his best to raise us And Thanks to him We are where we are.

Today I would like to share with you a few things about my father, It is my personal recollection of time spent with my father, I was never very close to my father, I don’t remember any reason why it should have been like that, since he and my sister were so close to each other. Maybe because I spent most of my time in hostel.

He invested so much time in me , when i was studying in Chandigarh, He would come from office and sit with me for an hour or so for my homework from school, I did not feel very happy about it , But on hindsight I think it was so good, I am where I am because of that.

My father was a proud man, he never said it to me but I know when others tell me, his best friends tell me what he talked about , what he thought of us. He was proud of our achievements. He cared so much for everyone , I distinctively remember sometimes him and my mother arguing over the fact that its holidays and he has asked someone to visit us, rather than us going out together for holidays. Most of my cousins stayed with us to study in city at one time we were 7 or 8 kids in the house, He catered for all of us without batting a eyelid.

Everyone in the family for any help would come to him, he did not say no to anyone, I have seen so many people who have stopped visiting us now, or calling us , but they did.

Summer holidays in school would see him making plans where to take us , manali, mumbai, Gujarat… he loved to travel.. see new places Thanks to him I have seen a lot of India, though at that time it felt weird why am i going with my mum-dad when my friends are going together, But now I know , I cherish those visits which most of my friends did not have. I did the time spent with my father was the best.

I still remember that day when I got the early morning call, my mama ji said hello and immediately i knew something was wrong, very wrong, he just said Come to India straightaway, Papa had passed away.. I did not know what to do .. I remember the shock, the horror, the disbelief, the fear, the complete sense of hopelessness and helplessness brought on, Suddenly, life seemed so finite. All those times we had flashed by in front of me, I remember the horrible time it took to reach Delhi then drive to Chandigarh..

All through the time so many things were going through my mind, I still stop and remember the times.. The times when I use to think what have i done wrong , Why is my father so strict, Why does he stop me doing this, Why wont he get me what i want, Why does he say No always .. So many questions .. But as I grew up I somehow started to understand all he was doing for me.

There are a few things that comes to my mind immediately when I think of my father , the first one was 1996 the year my dad retired from work, We were all invited by his office people for a small party in the evening, where they gave him some presents and all.. After it got over we were walking towards our car when we saw a few people beating up a man, on enquiry we got to know this guy also had retired the same day , but during his work time he had made life hell for his colleagues so now that he retired he got a beating as send of.. It made me feel proud of my dad at that time.

The other thing that comes to mind is the incident where I had gone to a place called patiala for Inter college debate representing my college, at night there was a terrorist attack where so many students were killed in middle of night, My father got to know about this and he was there at patiala in his night suit.. Searching for me in the hospital and when he saw me all covered in blood from carrying the injured he almost cried.. but in his way he told me “I had told you not to come , Now lets go home”, and when I said to him he will have to wait till all of my friends are found and donating blood, he just sat there waiting..

I always thought that he was very strict to me , but I am so wrong, I remember the little events that took place in my life.. I remember when I wanted to buy a scooter , he would say no and told me he went on a bicycle 4 -5 miles to study, why cant I go a few miles on my bicycle. Also I had this scare about flunking my exams and I was thinking today he is going to beat me up, but he said nothing rather just said to me to work harder next time, luckily I had not flunked.

People often forget to say “I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME” I did too all this time, I miss telling him how much he meant to me, How much I love – care for him. I am what I am now cause of his pains, that he took, sacrificing his ideas sometimes to make sure I got what I wanted or threw a tantrum over. I regret not telling him all this when I had the chance, will regret all my life.

THANK YOU PAPA for everything and making me the person I am, tears still swell up and my heart aches Because He was my Daddy and I miss him all the time, I want to take this opportunity now to tell him that

. I remember the hurt in your eyes when i could not get through the IMA so many times , each time you asked me to hold my head high, try again.

. The sadness when I planned to come to UK, You did not stop me.

. The proud moment when I rung you to tell you I have bought a house , My first car..

. The day you came to visit me here. I am sorry for not spending more time with you..

. The day I got sworn in for the forces here.

I remember them all wish you were here to see your son happy. It was all because of you Papa Thank you So much. I hope I am an ounce like my father, If I am then I would do justice to my kids too. I hope and prey you are looking out for me as you always did.

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Comments
  1. Push Vs Pull says:

    I Agree when you say," The role of father is always taken for granted in many ways"

    Like

  2. Madhav says:

    Superb post Bikram !

    Like

  3. Madhav says:

    All the Best for the Contest !

    Like

  4. every word makes me miss my parents more…just last nite i sent my dad a msg letting him know how much i missed him and mom…indeed mnay of us miss the opportunity of letting our loved ones kno how much they mean to us and i jut don wanna miss it…nice post friend.. 😀

    Like

  5. Punam says:

    I am very sorry to hear that your dad is no more. This tribute must surely have reached him wherever he is, and definitely, he must be one proud dad, smiling from the heavens. I was touched reading it.Your dad was very close to your sister.. 🙂 Do you know that the relationship of a daughter and father is a very very precious one. But that does not mean he loved you less. It's like a diamond that has many facets. It's still the same. I know you will agree with one thing: That having loving parents is God's gift to mankind. A blessing to be counted top amongst all others.

    Like

  6. Very touching post.Its nice to know that u are in forces. :)Best wishes for the contest.

    Like

  7. sangeeta says:

    have no words to say…just a hug…

    Like

  8. BK Chowla, says:

    Yes, we tend to take our father for granted.You have written a very nice post and that must be a great tribute to your father on this Father's day.

    Like

  9. R. Ramesh says:

    super post boss…proud of u..cheers

    Like

  10. Neha says:

    very nice post Bik..emotions well expressed and captured..he will always live in your heart forever..good luck 🙂

    Like

  11. all the best Bikram without Ji :)Fathers dont show their emotions openly like a mother does…but they care as much as our mom does.

    Like

  12. magiceye says:

    beautiful heartfelt tribute….

    Like

  13. May your dad's soul rest in peace Vikram. Parents are the greatest treasure…I just wish they stay with us always coz the thought of moving away from them is just so ghastly….I also liked the other underlying message that you gave thru your post, and that is to lead a life of respect and dignity coz thats what you get back by the end of your journey. The pther man who was being beaten must have made peoples lives a living hell…though I dont support vilence, forgiveness is much above punishment but this does set an example for all of us to follow.Thanks for the wonderful post!!!

    Like

  14. Angel :) says:

    I miss my father.

    Like

  15. Madhu says:

    U could have not made ur dad any happier than this..:)

    Like

  16. kavita says:

    Your post brought tears to my eyes.Wonderful tribute !

    Like

  17. sharmila says:

    … that's a very touching post. Most of the fathers are indeed strict n don't show their emotions – but by heart mostly all are very emotional being. I too love my dad very much … sorry ur dad is no more but he will always live in ur heart … so all the best for the contest 🙂

    Like

  18. smitzy says:

    beautiful heart touching post. Your father is watching you always and must be vry proud of you.

    Like

  19. Bikramjit says:

    @Push Vs Pull:- Thanks for the Visit.. an the comment please do visit again.@MAdhav:- THanks for liking the post, and wishing me luck.. Thanks for visiting my blog … Please do come again@Mingled Minds:- SO good of you.. yes we do miss the oppurtunity and then repent like me .. SO dont let it go by.. THanks for the lovely comment

    Like

  20. Bikramjit says:

    @Punam:- THanks. I hope so tooo it reaches him.. YEha i am sure he loved me and cared for me as much tooo.. Oh yes I agree with you the parents area god's gift … definitely@CHandrika Shubham:- THanks for the wishes and visiting me 🙂 @Sangeeta:- yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I liked that hug thanks a tonnnnnnnnnnnn mmmmmmmmmmmm

    Like

  21. Bikramjit says:

    @BK Chowla Sir:- Thanks for liking my post.. and happy fathers day to you tooo .. @Ramesh:- THanks mate.. I am glad you liked it .. @Neha:- YEs he will always and thanks a ton for liking this .. Thank you so much.

    Like

  22. Bikramjit says:

    @Gayathri :- also with the JI 🙂 he he hehe Thank you Thank you Lets see what the results say 🙂 YEs I am sure they do care as much Thanks.@Magiceye:- Thanks a lot… for appreciating it .. @A New beginning:- THank you. Parents are indeed a treasure as Punam said above they are Gods gift to us all .. Yes resepct and dignity is a must.. My dad taught me not to lie and face the problem .. I dont say I dont but I try and I try very hard … He faced a lot of problems bring us all up, at that time we did not know , Now i know. You definitely read the post 🙂 Thank you so much…

    Like

  23. Bikramjit says:

    @Angel:- HE is there always with you looking out for you.. wherever he is .. @Madhu:- Thank you so much for the support .. THank you a lot madhu it means a lot … @KAvita:- oh ho i did not mean to upset you .. sorry for that.. But it also means that you liked the post so Thanks a lot for that.. THANK YOU.@Liveonimpulse:- THanks for the visit and liking the post.. Please come again

    Like

  24. Bikramjit says:

    @Sharmila:- Thanks a ton for the visit.. and the lovely comment..@Smitzy:- Thanks for liking.. I am sure he is .. I hope we can all make our fathers proud of us as they have made us proud of them…

    Like

  25. I saw the full write up now. Speechless, Bikram…!!!Great, as Always…!!!!

    Like

  26. Happy fathers day to u and to your dad…i think we all underestimate the contribution of our dads in shaping our lives…and we as mothers have to sensitise our kids to that so that fathers too get their due…great piece of writing

    Like

  27. I wish MORE, MORRRRRRRRRE Mothers had Dimpy's sense……………

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  28. wat a write up man awesome very well written proud of you yes i love my dad too

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  29. IN TEEN AGE WE LOVE FRIENDS …IN FOURTIES WE LOVE DAD…THIS IS FACT OF LIFE,EVERYBODY…..PASS THROUGH SAME PHASE….

    Like

  30. aww thanks Mr. Shante

    Like

  31. Cherry says:

    Bikram Mann…. !!!!! my daughter calls me "Popsi" (Pyar se)…Father to main ban gaya….Daddy banne ki koshish kar raha hun…par bachhon ne to mujhe "popsi" bana diya…. Now what???

    Like

  32. Bikramjit says:

    @Shante Sir:- Thank you so much.. YEs sir I posted it after i finished the chat with you.. thats why you did not see it earlier…@Dimpy Mam:- Yes mam.. you are so true in saying that.. Thank you mam for the lovely comment… Where are you .. still in canada.. when you returning back to india@Chappan:- yaar thanks for the lovely words and the comment my friend.

    Like

  33. Bikramjit says:

    @Noble:- Trust you to find something like this.. nice one though.. How is work.. @Cherry Paaji:- as they say dads and daughters have a special relation. POSI kiha hai na .. POP kiha then panga pau he heh .. and You are a very good DADDY I have seen you my friend.. DOnt worry your kids are proud of you as much as you are..

    Like

  34. KPS Shante says:

    That was quick. U r welcome. I really meant that..!!! Irrespective of gender, I wish more ppl would stick to old values and not bask in illusionary wisdom backed by half baked knowledge. All the best for GENUINE EFFORTS…!!!!!

    Like

  35. Angel :) says:

    A very beautiful post, Bikram.

    Like

  36. Madhav says:

    Bikram i am visiting your blog frequently and also added in my blogroll as i like this one.

    Like

  37. 🙂 i couldnt think of any way better to tribute ur dad!! no poems no praises…just facts of what he was!! if he read today…i m sure he would be soo proud!!my dad is not perfect…but given another oppurtunity..i dunt think i wud liked him to be any different!!

    Like

  38. RINZU RAJAN says:

    This is a beautiful post. From the core of your heart, you let your ink flow, telling your daddy all you ever wanted to tell him. Very honestly done.Good luck in the blogadda contest. May you win.:-)

    Like

  39. Such a touching tribute. Good for you that you made it to the forces although in a different country.

    Like

  40. Sandhya says:

    A very touching post, Bikram! I have got tears in my eyes now. Everyone talks about their love for their mother, but very rarely people, esp. sons, talk emotionally like this, about their father. You truly love him. It is very unfortunate that your father is not here to read this post.Take care, Bikram.

    Like

  41. really very touching postlog on http://doctornaresh.blogspot.com/i just hope u will like it!

    Like

  42. @Angel:- THank you again.@MAdhav:- THanks for the honour .. really appreciate it … @buckingfastard:- Thank you so much. Thanks for visiting and the lovely comment. @RInzu Rajan:- Thanks for the wishes and liking the post.. always a pleasure to see you here .. do keep coming

    Like

  43. Phoenixritu says:

    Bikky, I have read tributes by daughters to their father and been moved by them. But this one tops it all ~~ what a moving tribute from a son! You made me miss my Papa

    Like

  44. @The Holy Lama:- Thanks yeah different country but still its something i always wanted to do. How are you feeling now… @Sandhya:- Yeah we always talk a lot about mothers but miss the fact that parents are mum and dad… Thanks for the beautiful Comment.@Tripat "Prerna": thanks for the visit..

    Like

  45. Thanks for dropping by. Your dad sounds wonderful. 🙂 Wish u all the luck with the contest.

    Like

  46. Insignia says:

    Bik,Pardon me, I am late. Its a tribute to your dad. Very touching post. It so happens that when our loved ones are around us, we dont realize their value. We regret not having spent enough time only when they are not with us.

    Like

  47. Harman says:

    A very touching ..posT..GR8….A perfect fathers day..tribute!

    Like

  48. Very nice post Bikram!!A heart touching one!!I was away from whole internet these days, I am lucky that I got back to my normal in 25 days , some times I take months to come back to normal.anyway the post rocks!

    Like

  49. @Ritu:- Thanks for the lovely comment. @MindfulMeanderer:- yeah dad Was wonderful, sorry we lost him so early.. Thanks for the wishes@Insignia:- well better late then never… THanks , yeah i know when they are gone we miss them more and repent… So very true.. @Sangeeta:- 51

    Like

  50. @Harman:- thank you so much… you also quiet late this time 🙂 he he he @RAj:- nice to see you back… Thanks for the lovely comment …

    Like

  51. digvijay nice take but i wud say bikram has come out with a write up which is just classic his teachers at school shud be proud

    Like

  52. RGB says:

    That was a really sweet tribute to your dad. Wish he was around, to experience the love and gratitude. Wish all of us could take a break from our rush lives, and spend some quality time with our folks.

    Like

  53. Tulika says:

    Father- God here.

    Like

  54. @RGB:- Thank you so much, Yeah i wish tooo. Yes definitely spend time with our folks suffers with us being busy … Thank a lot for visiting and the lovely comment. @Tulika:- Wow so very truly said .. so true .. THANK you so much

    Like

  55. Smitha says:

    That was such a 'from the heart' post. Fathers play such an important role in a child's life…Such a beautiful, beautiful tribute to your father..

    Like

  56. Bikramjit says:

    @Smitha:- Thank you so much for the lovely comment…THankssss

    Like

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