Fathers Day (19th june).. My Dad

Posted: June 18, 2011 in Birthdays, Children, Dad, Experiences, Family, Good times, Nostalgic, papa, Parents
Tags: , , , , ,

This post is reposted with a few changes..

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

The role of a father is always taken for granted, But we forget that this bread-winner is as emotional as a mother , and yet we so easily wipe him off any outwardly show of gratitude. It is so easy these days in our crazy busy life to remember or think or focus on the things that our parents did not do for us , we have become so selfish in life we think only the negative.. we forget there is so much good that parents have done for us..

Fathers are believed to be tough, strict and all that.. but they are humans too, I am not saying my My father was perfect, no one is but I know for sure that he did his best to raise us And Thanks to him We are where we are and I AM WHAT AND WHERE I AM.

Today I would like to share with you a few things about my father, It is my personal recollection of time spent with my father, I was never very close to my father, I don’t remember any reason why it should have been like that, since he and my sister were so close to each other. Maybe because I spent most of my time in hostel.

He invested so much time in me , when i was studying in Chandigarh, He would come from office and sit with me for an hour or so for my homework from school, I did not feel very happy about it , But on hindsight I think it was so good.

My father was a proud man, he never said it to me but I know when others tell me, his best friends tell me what he talked about , what he thought of us. He was proud of our achievements. He cared so much for everyone , I distinctively remember sometimes him and my mother arguing over the fact that its holidays and he has asked someone to visit us, rather than us going out together for holidays. Most of my cousins stayed with us to study in city at one time we were 7 or 8 kids in the house, He catered for all of us without batting a eyelid.

Everyone in the family for any help would come to him, he did not say no to anyone, I have seen so many people who have stopped visiting us now, or calling us , but they did.

Summer holidays in school would see him making plans where to take us , manali, mumbai, Gujarat… he loved to travel.. see new places Thanks to him I have seen a lot of India, though at that time it felt weird why am i going with my mum-dad when my friends are going together, But now I know , I cherish those visits which most of my friends did not have. I did, the time spent with my father was the best.

I still remember that day when I got the early morning call, my mama ji said hello and immediately i knew something was wrong, very wrong, he just said Come to India straightaway, Papa had passed away.. I did not know what to do .. I remember the shock, the horror, the disbelief, the fear, the complete sense of hopelessness and helplessness brought on, Suddenly, life seemed so finite. All those times we had flashed by in front of me, I remember the horrible time it took to reach Delhi then drive to Chandigarh..

All through the time so many things were going through my mind, I still stop and remember the times.. The times when I use to think what have i done wrong , Why is my father so strict, Why does he stop me doing this, Why wont he get me what i want, Why does he say No always .. So many questions .. But as I grew up I somehow started to understand all he was doing for me.

On the day of the bhog so many people had come to pay their respects, i did not know many of them , A few letters had come from various people , One letter I still have one from a Principle of a college in Punjab who showered so many praises on dad for helping the College where so many students got education. 

I also had made a point to ask all his friends to let me know if he had owed anything to anyone so as a son I could pay them back,  he did not owe anything to anyone.

There are a few things that comes to my mind immediately when I think of my father , the first one was 1996 the year my dad retired from work, We were all invited by his office people for a small party in the evening, where they gave him some presents and all.. After it got over we were walking towards our car when we saw a few people beating up a man, on enquiry we got to know this guy also had retired the same day , but during his work time he had made life hell for his colleagues so now that he retired he got a beating as send of.. It made me feel proud of my dad at that time.

The other thing that comes to mind is the incident where I had gone to a place called Patiala for Inter college debate representing my college, at night there was a terrorist attack where so many students were killed in middle of night, My father got to know about this and he was there at Patiala in his night suit.. Searching for me in the hospital and when he saw me all covered in blood from carrying the injured he almost cried.. but in his way he told me “I had told you not to come , Now let’s go home”, and when I said to him he will have to wait till all of my friends are found and donating blood, he just sat there waiting..

Cut off time at night was 9pm , I had to be home and if not then he would get so worried sometimes come to look for me , my friend would joke with me that I should go home on time else “PAPA will COME” :)

His pet dialogues “kya Raje”.. or “Kya banega is desh ka ”  whenever politics would come up to discuss, how eagerly he would watch the cricket matches , come occasions he would hate when i said I have to go to a friends house to celebrate he would say “Raje Ithe sad lai uhna nu”.. (call them here instead)…

I remember him go so angry one time we had gone to Hazoor sahib , Nanded near mumbai, and he was trying to get a room for us and as usual there too it was corruption give money get a room, and Papa blew his top and asked the guy who demanded money to step out of his office so he could slap him, I was young , suddenly it was all quiet and no one there dared to move,  I thought today we would be beaten up, but no one dared and Papa was like telling me, dont worry anyone comes near get him.  I saw the look on his face and the guy in the office almost pee-ed in his pants,  and lo and behold we got a lovely room without paying any bribe.

He would celebrate my birthday every year , I was a grown up man but no he always made sure 11th Nov he had a few of my friends invited a few of his friends to celebrate and Since he has passed no one has celebrated my birthday as he use to.. I remember his craze for Poori Cholle , he would always order them from sector 17 Chandigarh that was one  dish Always on the menu on my birthdays..

Another funny incident was when i had applied for Visa for uk, everyone was saying I wont get it, and I will have to wait etc etc, I remember going to Delhi embassy , my interview took place at about 10am and by 11am i was out with the news that Visa is mine, I should go and get the medical done.. I rang my father to tell him I got the visa and i need to go for medical his words were “No don’t go, come home, for the next few weeks eat Makhan-badaam-gheo , Tagda ho ke Medical devange” (  almonds-ghee- get stronger and then give medical) , I was laughing my head off, and me being me could not wait .. gave the medical the same night ..

When I came to UK my friends would still visit my home and Papa would sit with them and offer them a drink or two always saying that If Bikram was there he would do the same , All these little events I came to know when friends talked they would say I have a cool father.

People often forget to say “I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME” I did too all this time, I miss telling him how much he meant to me, How much I love – care for him. I am what I am now cause of his pains, that he took, sacrificing his ideas sometimes to make sure I got what I wanted or threw a tantrum over. I regret not telling him all this when I had the chance, will regret all my life.

THANK YOU PAPA for everything and making me the person I am, tears still swell up and my heart aches Because He was my Daddy and I miss him all the time, I want to take this opportunity now to tell him that

. I remember the hurt in your eyes when i could not get through the IMA so many times , each time you asked me to hold my head high, try again.

. The sadness when I planned to come to UK, You did not stop me.

. The proud moment when I rung you to tell you I have bought a house , My first car..

. The day you came to visit me here. I am sorry for not spending more time with you..

. The day I got sworn in for the forces here.

I remember them all wish you were here to see your son happy. It was all because of you Papa Thank you So much. I hope I am an ounce like my father, If I am then I would do justice to my kids too. I hope and pray you are looking out for me as you always did.

Happy Fathers day to all the readers, Let not just be ON the fathers day that we say I love you to our dad, lets say it every day and make it a father’s day all the days…

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Comments
  1. Deboshree says:

    Bikram! Such a heart-warming post! You made me all nostalgic about my own memories with Pappa…Daddies are indeed very special. I can not tell you in words just how much I adored this post.
    Here’s wishing your Dad a very Happy Father’s Day. :D :D

  2. Writerzblock says:

    Ohhh….you brought tears to my eyes with this post!!! God bless such daddies….it is because of THEM that we are what we are today… God bless…..

  3. touching post Bikram.. I know how important a dad is.. This is awesome..

    Someone is Special

  4. Tanishka says:

    Its such a straight from the heart post Bikram…. Fathers are the real heros of our lives indeed….
    Happy father’s day to all the daddies…. :)

  5. very emotional…Buddy …Dads are something where we follow the footsteps and keep them as our heros..my Dad something like that.
    you had such a nice dad you shld be proud of …who gave you good quality of life and environment,taught you good and bad.
    God bless his soul ..and keep his fond memories with you always.
    Happy fathers day!

  6. Punam says:

    This is a very emotional post, Bikram. And I am left in tears – even though I am reading it for the second time… I remember you had put up a similar post before too, i think last year, when I had published a small post on my dad.. One thing I agree – what I am and where I am today, is ALSO because of my dad, and I know the helplessness evident in your post when you say, you wish you could spend more time with your dad – yes, life is certainly so finite..
    My dad pulled me out of a daldal so royally that I wonder how a parent can find the strength to do that. Today, he has his head held high, because I am doing him proud – and he is yes, he is very very proud of me.. of the person that I have become. And I shall always make sure that I fulfill all his dreams. He has given me a second life. And I owe every breath I take to my dad’s inner strength.
    And yes, I always tell him how much I love him, but I think I can never be able to express to him, the kind of value he added to MY life.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you Punam. yeah there was similar post earlier too but this one has some new things.. yepp it is helpnessness. Dad’s do anything for there kids well parents do, thats why its the kids sometimes who turn there face from parents.. Parents never do so..

  7. IRFANUDDIN says:

    very touchy post…..one can feel that you have poured ur heart into it, Bikram……

    i agree here that “The role of a father is always taken for granted”……
    in fact, i personally feel that people now a days take their Parents as a whole for granted…. and once we lose them, when they are no more with us we realize their importance……its unfortunate, really…..

  8. Rekha says:

    Such a moving post…we do take our parents for granted through life and then its a little too late to redeem ourselves…but like they say, it’s the thought that counts…. the fact that by blogging you have made your little contribution to acknowledge his role in shaping your life.

  9. Shas says:

    Touching post. A perfect Ode to Dad.

  10. pixie says:

    this is such a touching post Biks.. loved it! An apt tribute to a great dad… :)
    Happy Fathers’ Day! :)

  11. Anita Menon says:

    A touching tribute to a beautiful person like your dad. I couldn’t help but have tears myself. This post really brought home the point about how much I, myself take my dad and what he did for me, for granted. Your journey took me through my own journey with my dad. Thank you so much for this lovely post.
    If you do not mind, I would like to do a similar post on my blog.

  12. We all take our parents for granted – but we ought to show the gratitude back at some point of time. They ensured that we were safe and happy, we should do it too…. atleast when they are old and not able to take care of themselves…

    Destination Infinity

    • Bikram says:

      D I yes we should show are gratitude , god knows how many times they have given up on their choices for our hapiness.. and when they are old they deserve the same thing … for sure

  13. b k chowla says:

    I wish and hope that more and more children think so highly of their Father.
    My son does, my daugter does.

  14. Chiquita says:

    What’s better than inspiration??? Nothing! I stopped by, read this and immediately started drafting a post for my dad. Beautiful piece…thanks for making me want to write.

  15. Rachna says:

    Such a hearfelt post. I loved the khatti meethi yaadein that you shared with us. Really, our Indian fathers are so similar. They are softies but the way they are brought up, they are not given to expressing or voicing their caring and love very often. They show it in their actions. I am happy that my dad who was so very strict in childhood became so much more mellow and easy to talk to as we started growing up. I am happy that he is such a wonderful, logical, fair, intelligent man. God bless Dads!

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you so much, yes they are sweet memories now, yeah i know what you mean. Stirctness was for our own good we have found out how things have changed in the modern society. God bless dads indeed ..

  16. bhagyareema says:

    Touched by this post Bikram. Your father was such a wonderful man. And thou u cannot bring him back, you can do what he expected pf u; to be a ‘good’ person ( which u already are)

  17. simran kaur says:

    Wonderful post!
    Emotions are poured in each of your words..and this post I enjoyed the most!! And came to know about such a remarkable personality…Wonderful dad :)..Really this happens that at times we don’t express our love to our loved ones and after sometime we regret of that unsaid words …Happy Fathers Day :)

  18. shail says:

    Such a touching post. I liked it best of all when I read how your father told the man who wanted the bribe to step out of the room so he could slap him. And it is so sweet he let you go to the UK though he was sad.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you shail. Yeah dad was nevr angry but when he did get, he was really angry. Yeah he was sad i know, I rmemeber my granddad once saying to me , i was very close ot my granddad even, that if he was selfish he would ask me to stay back in india since he needed me in his old age… but for my career and life he could not afford to be selfish ..

  19. aneeta says:

    ((( )))

  20. scorpria says:

    a truly heart-warming post, Bikram!
    am sure yur dad’s proud of yu :)

  21. Abha Midha says:

    Very touching details, of you going down memory lane. A gr8 tribute to him on Father’s Day. I too wrote a post for my Dad . Happy Father’s Day :)

  22. suruchi says:

    such a great man Biky,
    no wonder you are how you are:-)

    certain things are beyond our control no matter how much we want them then or regret them later…
    hence perhaps, he not stopping you from coming to UK or you being unable to spend time with him when he visited you…the best part is-children n parents understand each other without the need of words or actions to prove it:-)

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you So much Suruchi.
      I jsut hope i am half of what he was that would be good enough for me ..

      I know what you say about things not in our hands.. yeah parents understand the kids for sure .. I am not sure if the kids understand their parents so well … maybe we need ot work on that a bit more ..

  23. gayathri says:

    A very heart touching post bikram…have hardly seen any man expressing his love and feelings to his father.

  24. ajay says:

    A heartwarming post Bikram. :) Your dad must be proud of you.
    PS: You have been tagged. Do take it up. :)

    • Bikram says:

      Welcome ot this blog ajay, Thank you for visiting do keep visiting ..
      Thank you for tagging I will surly do it …

      I hope he is proud of me ..

  25. Divya says:

    Very touching and appealing post. Feeling proud of your dad after knowing about him. And yes, you are very much like your wonderful dad, which is quite obvious by your posts so far.

  26. NRIGirl says:

    Wow! That’s the best I have heard of a father from his son! Thank you for sharing about your Papa with us.
    Love you for the lovely words in the end.

  27. R's Mom says:

    Hugs Bikram…your dad was truely a hero! I got goosebumps reading this post….he will be so proud of you

  28. This is such a moving post, Bikram! I’m so lost for words!

  29. Chakoli says:

    Very touching :)

    You made me go down in my good old bachpan :)

    used to love it wen he used to get choc…. the special treat for obeying him… and respecting him :)

  30. Sapna says:

    A very touching account!

  31. deeps says:

    thats an apt one..
    the quote at the top speaks it all :)

  32. Purbaray says:

    That was a touching tribute to your dad – came straight from the heart. I personally rate this as one of your best.

  33. Alka says:

    Wrenched my heart….Kya raje esp.

    Sad, i lost mine….But nevertheless was lucky to have him in my life. feel kinda orphaned after him.
    TC

  34. Priya says:

    Loved your post Bikram :) . Heartfelt and so very touching!!

  35. Deep Dixit says:

    Happy father’s day!

  36. Bhupinder Singh Shahpuri says:

    Happy fathers day

  37. Ria says:

    Aww this post made me miss my dad so much!! u r a wonderful person!

  38. Rama Ananth says:

    A beautiful post, written right from the heart. It doesn’t matter, we all know without a saying that we love our parents and they too love us very much. It is just a part of our culture, we don’t try to show our feelings so much.
    Yes we don’t need a special day to tell people we love them, for we keep thinking of them everyday. You would surely follow your father’s footsteps and definitely be good father to your kids.
    Happy Father’s Day!!

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you mam. yeah we well I know for sure parents love us always , thought sometimes the other way dosnot work we forget ..

      I hope so i follow his footsteps and be half as good as he was.
      Thank you so much.. Happy fathers days.

  39. Swaram says:

    Beautiful post Bik! Celebrating ur bday like that and treating ur friends so well even after u left the place is just so sweet :) God bless!

    • Bikram says:

      Hi swaram, How are you … YEah each year it was like that till he passed away .. thank you for the wishes ..

      and hey its your b’day today :) so a very happy birthday to you , now the whole world knows about it :)

  40. sm says:

    touching post
    happy fathers day

  41. Larry Lewis says:

    A beautiful post, one that would fill any dad, and any son with an understanding of what being a father can give us. Thank you

  42. kavita says:

    Beautiful and Heartwarming :)I have got no words Bikram.

  43. Aathira says:

    I had a knot inside me after I read the post.

    Fathers have a way of not expressing their feelings and accepting whatever we throw at them as kids. I think their love is so immense but at the same time … mostly invisible in our daily life.

    • Bikram says:

      yeah they try to keep it all in and be all strict but they work veyr hard to make sure they take care of all our needs and all . yeah you are right its mostly invisible …

  44. A heart warming Fathers’ day post Bikram..!!

  45. Chhavi says:

    Bikram, this post has made me speechless. It also made me a little sad. I recalled all the moments when I have taken my dad for granted. That’s what we always do.- take our parents for granted. We expect our parents to be there when we need them without realizing that many a time we have ignored them to fulfill our dreams. :( :( i loved this post. Very touching

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you Chhavi. yes you said it right we take them for granted a lot many times. and somehow forget to reciprocate th same way when the tables are turned ..
      thank you for loving this post .. i ma happy :)

  46. Novroz says:

    what a beautiful and touching story, Bikram. It makes me smile and sad at the same time.

    I still have both my parents with me, but I know how it hurts to lose one of them. I almost lost my mom when she had her critical moment after her surgery. I can’t bare the pain I have inside. I am now trying to strengten my heart as my mom is going ups and downs with her battle against cancer.

    I should say thanks to my father for being my mom’s nurse as I can’t do that for her. I have to work to provide our life. My dad is no longer working because my mom needs lots of help.

    • Bikram says:

      Thank you SO much.

      I can understand what you feeling. I dont know what to say , Its really painful when one of the parents is not doing wel. I hope god gives you the strength to take care of everyone ..

      I want ot write a lot but dont know how or what .. . Sorry to hear about mum..

  47. Beautiful post Bikram – Your dad sounds fantastic…and he will be majorly proud of you and watching over u wherever he is !!!

  48. Shilpa Garg says:

    A heart warming and moving post, Bikram! A very apt tribute for Father’s day!!

  49. Vaish says:

    I liked the way you have expressed in this post…it’s so kind of “direct – dil se” types :)
    PS: I m just catching up with all the unread posts, slowly! Hope all is well your side :)

  50. ladynimue says:

    dunno if its the post or my emo mood , this made me cry .. If it wasn’t 4 am , i would have called home n cried on call to dad !

    • Bikram says:

      Well dont worry wait for it to be 8am then call , and I am sure if you had called then also he would have loved it :) Thank you so much .. .

  51. Meena says:

    Bikram…. that was the best ever post !! Made one feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Nothing more to say – just speechless. God bless!!

  52. bloggergirl12 says:

    Awesome post… Dads are indeed very precious… they get us all we want without us even asking for it… they take care of us… they give our life a direction… they teach us everything from walking to make right choices in our lives…

    Happy Fathers Day!!

    – Mannat!

  53. zradar says:

    this is direct dilse post.. Reminds of me before marriage..I used to have such a areless attitude towards my family. Lucky to have got married to a man who taught me the value of relations… Yeah!!Lemme call my parents and wish goodnite

  54. very well written bikram…

    read it twice thrice…!!!

    will keep coming back to your blog now for more!!!

  55. Free Spirit says:

    OMG How did I miss reading this.. It was so lovely, it brought tears to my eyes too. :(
    I love my Papa a lot too, though I never say that to him. I am so very proud of him, and I hope he is of me too.

  56. Meera says:

    Really touching! We dont realize the value of our parents when they are there but when they are gone we know what we have lost. I called my father on Father’s day last Sunday. He asked me why I had called him. When I told him that it was father’s day and I just wanted to wish him he was very touched. Fathers often do not know how to express their emotions you are so right about that.

    • Bikram says:

      So very true what you say we dont realise … excellent and good you called him up .. I jsut hope everyone did and pity the ones who forgot or did not bother ..
      Thank you ..

  57. DI says:

    That was a beautiful, heartfelt post :)

  58. Nancy says:

    Laughed out at “…….i need to go for medical his words were “No don’t go, come home, for the next few weeks eat Makhan-badaam-gheo , Tagda ho ke Medical devange” ”

    A heartwarming post Bikram…….memories are all what we have left finally!!!!

  59. Reema says:

    a beautiful and touching post!!

  60. ammadey says:

    A wonderful post. very touching

  61. Jessica says:

    I love this blog site, particularly your shots, do you take them yourself? Here in Wales we are blessed with a huge selection of blooms, probably the most impressive of which are in all likelihood the springtime flora. Can I use a few of the pictures on my blogging site? I would link any here obviously. Elizabeth Smith

  62. […] write what i feel irrespective of what others think .  I have a few to mention here ..   Fathers Day , Anupinder , Ravjote, […]

  63. Rosy says:

    Hmmm. It brought tears in my eyes. U have expresed ur feeling….No u have poured them out. Yes, we need to tell our parents mama and papa that how much we care and love them

  64. […] “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.” I had written a earlier post on My dad some time ago, that says it all why I admire him, Fathers Day (19th june).. My Dad […]

  65. Baldeep Kaur says:

    You made me cry Bikram. I am so glad that you have such fond and so many memories of your dad. I lost my dad when i was 12 but it seems our dad’s were quite similar. :)

    • Bikramjit says:

      Hey, GOd bless you. Thank you so much. I think all dad’s are same they do their best so their kids can have a decent life ..

      Thank you so much for saying that ..

  66. anisnest says:

    its so nice to read about your papa Bikram.. he seems to be a great man..
    “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.” – so true..

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